I Have To See My Ex Almost Everyday. How Can I Move On?

How to move on if you have to see your ex everyday for several hours.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a college student who got dumped by his girlfriend. He still has to see and spend almost 3 hours everyday with her. She told him it wasn’t anything he did and that he was a great boyfriend, but she wants to find herself and spend time with family and friends. He asks what he can do. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “I Have To See My Ex Almost Everyday. How Can I Move On?”.

So this email is from a guy that’s in college and he’s a gamer. And his now ex-girlfriend is also a gamer, I guess at their school they have a team. They have a college sports team, which is pretty popular these days. And so he spends about three hours a day, 4 or 5 days a week playing video games, and she kind of basically sits next to him. And so this was like his first girlfriend, he lost his virginity to her. And I assume he must be new to my work because he looks like he has no idea what creates attraction.

Doesn’t sound at all like he’s read the book. Looks like he’s a cherry picker looking for a quick fix to solve this. And so there’s clearly a lot of behavior that he’s displaying. A lot of beta male behavior that he doesn’t know is unattractive, and he keeps doing it. And ultimately, that’s why he got dumped. Because, you know, the other thing that she was telling him, “Oh, it’s nothing you did. You’re a great boyfriend.” But the reality is he dried her up. Women don’t dump men that they’re in love with.

They dump men that they’ve lost respect and attraction for. And you’ve got to change your behavior. You’ve got to learn what’s attractive and what’s unattractive and clean it up. You know, cherry picking videos is not going to work for you. I say it all the time, but a lot of you new guys show up and you’re like, “Oh, I don’t have time to read a book. I’m in college. I’m so busy.” And yet you want to change things and but you have no awareness.

You’re doing and saying things that are unattractive and turning her off. And if you don’t fill in your knowledge gap, the next girl you’re going to turn off for exactly the same reasons. So this is something you have to do. If you want to get this part of your life handled and make getting dumped and rejected unexpectedly a thing of the past. You’re going to have to read the book 10 to 15 times. And the best way to read it is put the audiobook on 2X and then follow along in a digital or physical copy.

Don’t be driving around in your car, listening to this as background noise, or playing it in your speakers, in your house, or going to the gym and listening to his background noise. You need to sit down. I mean, you’re in college, so you need to take learning this subject seriously. That’s why the best way to get the information into your brain so you retain it, is listening to the audiobook while you’re seeing the words as they’re being spoken without any distractions, no people running around or goofing off.

Or, you know, doing things, like I said, driving in your car where you’re daydreaming, you’re kind of half the time you’re checked out or you’re distracted because of the other drivers on the road or whatever it happens to be. So you have to spend the time with the book. If you put the audiobook on 2X and then you follow along on a digital or physical copy, you can get through it in about four hours. So you’re just going to have to spend the time with it.

There’s no shortcuts to success. If you’re going to be lazy, you’re going to experience a lot of pain, a lot of rejection. And it’s not fun getting dumped by girls that you really love and really want to be with. And then you hear the “Oh, it’s not you, it’s me.” So she basically told him that she needs to find herself, and she wants to spend time with friends and family. So he sees her every day. And so in this case, this guy’s in college. But you have other cases where guys work with their ex and they see her every day. So it’s like, what can you do in those cases?

Viewer Email:

Hello Coach Corey Wayne,

I am a 21 year old college student in Missouri, and my girlfriend is from California. We met during my sophomore year when she was a freshman. We hit it off quickly, we shared the same interests, both played video games on our college eSports team and consequently, we were in the same vicinity throughout the day. This is because the place we play games in is a school provided gaming room that is where I spend a lot of time and both of our friends are in this place too. She was my first real relationship and took my virginity, making it a very important relationship for me.

We had a very great relationship, shared many fun times, were very open to growth, communicated frequently, and I knew we both had a lot of love for each other. About a year into our relationship she told me she felt like I was not doing enough in our relationship and didn’t see a future because of our incompatibilities. She felt I was not reciprocating her love for her. I told her I felt like all of the things she mentioned were areas we could work on together, and she decided she made a mistake and got back together. 

So I don’t know what incompatibilities you’re talking about. I’m not psychic. I can only go off of what you tell me. But at the end of the day, you’re not getting along. I assume you’re probably bickering and fighting and not getting along. Probably complaining. Usually the guys complaining he doesn’t, or she doesn’t spend enough time with him. Or this or that. It’s typically what you start to see when a woman says, “it’s not you, it’s me.” That means it’s you. It means you dried her up and you turned her off.

In other words, you didn’t act masculine consistently. She ended up being the man more often than not, and it ruins the sexual polarity. And oftentimes, what you end up doing is eliciting platonic feelings in her towards you. That’s why when she finally leaves, she’s able to do it because she sees you really as just a platonic friend and not a romantic boyfriend that turns her on and makes her dripping wet.

For the next few months I worked on my problems while she worked on her own issues. In my eyes, everything was going very well. I noticed she pulled away from physical contact during this time, specifically sex and making out, two things she previously really enjoyed.

So what happened it looks like she broke up with you and then got back together, but the sex and the romance stopped. And so really, you were just hanging out as friends. So what that tells me she was no longer turned on by you, and you were kind of stuck in friend zone, and you didn’t realize it. Because, you know, again, it’s your first relationship. I mean, what do you know when this is the first girl you slept with. So you have to learn these things somehow. So clearly, she lost attraction and respect. That’s why she didn’t want to sleep with you anymore.

And you didn’t realize that you were probably just thinking, “Well, I’ll just be patient. Eventually that’ll work itself out.” But in reality, she kept hanging out with you, and you basically became one of her beta male orbiters. More than likely while she talked to other guys and looked for somebody else to line up. And so you thought you’re working on your relationship. But what she was really doing was keeping you as an orbiter while she looked for your replacement. And the fact that she stopped having sex with you probably means that she was having sex with somebody else.

Then winter break arrived, and during that time I felt like she was being distant and her demeanor changed.

So that tells me he’s probably doing most of the pursuing and the reaching out. And he didn’t realize that she was no longer making the effort. So instead of backing off, he continued to pursue more “The Illusion Of Action” as I refer to it in my book. The more he pursued, the more he, in essence, acted like a chick. He probably also complained they weren’t having sex because he thought he could just use logic and reason to make her want to sleep with him again.

But the reality is she lost attraction, respect and was just hanging out with him as a friend while she explored looking for somebody else. And once, she probably found somebody else or a potential good prospect. That’s when she dipped and goes, “Oh, it’s not you, it’s me. You’re a great boyfriend. It’s nothing you did.” But that’s a lie. It actually is everything you did, you didn’t act like a man consistently. And so she got turned off and looked for a guy that turned her on.

I confronted her about it before we came back for break. She told me that after being alone during the break, she felt she didn’t see a future with me and could no longer reciprocate my love. Pretty much the opposite of why we broke up the first time.

So at the end of the day, she’s lost attraction, respect. And so what looks like was happening is she was monkey branching. She was looking for your replacement while she hung out with you and dangled the pussy. And you ate it up like catnip because you didn’t know any better, and you never got around to reading the book.

She said she has grown away from our relationship, emphasizing that it wasn’t anything I did.

That’s a lie. At the end of the day, she dumped you because you didn’t act like a man consistently. And you still don’t know what you were doing that turned her off. Because, you know, again, there’s no evidence of that in your email. You’re just confused and befuddled by her two different reasons why she wanted to break up. The first time when she broke it off but you supposedly got back together, but when you got back together, the sex stopped. So you were just friends at that point.

In other words, she friend zoned you and held on to you, and you held out hope and probably were doing most of the pursuing. And she wasn’t lifting a finger. Probably when she told you, “Oh, you weren’t making enough an effort.” So you started pursuing more thinking, well, that’s what she wanted. And the more you pursued, the more she got turned off and the more you literally chased her right out of your life and probably into the arms and the bed of another dude.

She stated I was a great boyfriend and that she still cared for and loved me, but she no longer wants a relationship at this time. She wants to find herself and spend time with her family and friends. 

What she’s really saying is, “I want to find somebody else, and I don’t want to be with you anymore.” that’s what she really means. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. This is the way women operate. She doesn’t want you to get upset. She just tells you something that sounds logical but at the end of the day, it’s not the truth. The reality is she’s not attracted to you. You dried her up and turned her off, and she only has platonic feelings towards you because you didn’t correct. The more you chased and pursued, the more you made it easy for her to move on and meet somebody else.

This situation was strange because the reason was completely different from the first time we broke up, almost the entire script had flipped.

Well, she was losing interest the first time, and she gave you excuses that sounded logical, like you weren’t loving her enough. But at the end of the day, no one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in the moment. That’s right out of the book. And so when she’s telling you that you basically weren’t making her feel loved and weren’t making as much of an effort as her, which she’s really saying is that she knows that she wasn’t making the effort she should to make you feel loved. And so she was projecting.

And you bought the BS because, you know, you’re young and inexperienced. You didn’t know any better. And so you got bamboozled. And so she basically said, oh, you need to love me more. You need to reciprocate more. And so being a good boyfriend, you thought, “Okay, well, maybe I need more. I need a text her more. I need to tell her more how much I care about her.” And so you started doing what she suggested. And what you didn’t realize that she stopped sleeping with you. And so the more you did what she said she wanted, the more turned off she got and the easier it was for her to move on.

We ended things on a very good note.

I wouldn’t say “we” in a thing. She ended things and you went along with it.

I told her I am grateful for the time we spent, and happy to have experienced it all with her despite it being over now. I want nothing but the best for her, and if she felt like she couldn’t be with me, I’m glad she made the hard decision to end things. The problem now is that I live on the same dorm floor as her and walk past it every day. I also sit next to her where we play games for a minimum of three to four hours daily. This will all last until I graduate in a year and a half. Not sure what to do about this, any advice would be great.

Thanks

Well, sit in a different chair, sit next to a different girl. Read the book. Get out there and apply it. You’re in college, dude. There is never going to be another time in your life where you’re going to be surrounded by as many single, hot, horny girls who are away from their parents that are excited to experiment and try different things. It’s like an all you can eat pussy buffet.

And sitting around crying the blues over this girl that clearly blew you off and probably already lined up your replacement and is dating and sleeping with him now, probably for a couple of months. The best thing you can do is to move on and give your attention to other women. That means talking to other women at school, going out on dates, hanging out, having fun, and hooking up. Applying what’s in the book. If you see her smile, wave but don’t go out of your way to talk to her.

And unless you’re playing the same game together, you’re on the same team, I don’t see why you need to sit next to her. Go sit next to somebody else. Change it up a little bit. Do something different. Go hang out with some of the other girls there. Go to different parties. Hang out with different friends. Change your routine up a little bit. You need to be meeting and interacting with as many women as possible and applying what’s in the book so you get better.

And when she starts to sense the vibe that you’re not going after her, it’s almost how would you treat her if you were tired of fucking her and you were bored with her? You would be nice to her. You’d be polite, but you’re not going to go out of your way to talk to her or see her, or spend time with her, because you don’t want to give her the impression that you miss her and you potentially you’re going to take her back after you’ve dumped her. Again that’s how would you think if the if the roles were reversed and you were the one dumping her and you’re letting her down easy.

You’re not going to do anything to suggest you’re still romantically interested. And so in this way, you’re accepting that it’s over. She’s probably sleeping with somebody else, and you need to do the same thing. Because learning the book and applying it and meeting and dating other women, especially if she hears through the grapevine that you were dating and hooking up with this really hot girl, that is, you know, it’s like I talk about in the book. Like flips a switch in women, they go from not giving a shit. I just did an email the other day from another guy that’s in college. That’s about 3 or 4 days ago.

And so this guy is in college and his ex-girlfriend, who’s also really hot but came from a broken home, is there. And he dated this girl that he really liked, and she was really hot for him, but he obviously turned her off. And so his ex-girlfriend ended up talking to this girl that he was dating and hooking up with for a little bit, without realizing he was dating and hooking up with her. And so she went out of her way to go on and on about what a great guy he was. What a great boyfriend. How he was great in bed.

And this girl heard all this and was like, oh, maybe I misjudged this guy. And so she went from like, not want anything to do with him to calling him at night. And he was going to call her the next day after he woke up. And by early that morning, she had texted him again. And then once the ex-girlfriend found out that he had actually dated this girl, then she starts trying to say, “Oh, he’s a player. He’s a terrible guy. He’s this. He’s that.” But at that point, you know, all these things that he was great in bed. She wanted to find out about it herself. And so now this girl.

And then on top of that, his sister was there because his sister knows his ex. And so she overheard their conversation and reported all this back to this guy. So his reputation, in essence, helped him get another girl, or get the girl that blew him off. She went from not being interested anymore to being to double texting him within a matter of hours. That’s how quickly the script can flip in this case. And so by you focusing on other women interacting with other women, in other words, it’s like she’s dead to you, basically.

So you move on and focus on women who are single and ready to mingle. Because again, there’s never going to be another time in your life, dude, where you’re going to have this many hot single women that are horny and excited to experiment, do threesomes and all kinds of fun things in college. Because you get into the real world, more people are going to be tied up or married or in relationships, your coworkers, that kind of thing. And so while you have another year left before you graduate, I would be taking advantage of this.

Because again, it’s an all you can eat pussy buffet at this point in your life, dude. So don’t let that opportunity go by crying the blues about this girl. Because the best way, potentially for this girl to change her mind is to see that you’ve moved on almost as if it doesn’t really bother you. And especially if she sees or hears about you talking to or hooking up with other hot girls, then she might come back for another trip down memory lane.

And in that case, if you got 2 or 3 other options, you might not be so inclined to give her a second chance. Or you might just say, “Well, we can date and hook up, but that’s all I can promise for now. I’m not really looking to get into a relationship.” And then that will cause her to try even harder to lock you down and be even better than she was in the past. So you’ve got to flip the script that way. But you got to put the time in with the book. You need to get familiar with the Article and Video 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back and just simply apply it.

Because again, dude, you’ve got so many girls around you that you can practice with, you’re never going to have another opportunity in your life where there’s just tons and tons of single hot girls that are fit, that are in shape, that are beautiful. Because you’ll notice, like ten years after you graduate, you go back to your ten year reunion you’d be shocked at how many dudes lost their hair or fat.

How many girls got fat and kind of nasty who were absolutely smoking hot in high school. It’s kind of depressing, but that’s life. So the opportunities get a little harder after you graduate college, but it’s like every day you got a fucking buffet just waiting for you. So grab a fucking handful of it, dude, and rock out with your cock out, man.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.