I Love You & Imposing Your Will

Why a man should say “I love you” as a non-attached statement of his heart and not as a possessive attempt to lock a woman down to a commitment, relationship or marriage, so she feels obligated to stay with him out of guilt or fear. Why trying to impose your will, beliefs or desires onto someone else by force instead of by their own free choice will cause rejection.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who prematurely told a woman he was just starting to date that he loved her and wanted her to become his girlfriend, not out of love, but really because she would be moving about two hours away, and he wanted to lock her down. Now she is cold and distant and no longer pursuing him like she was in the beginning.

The second email is from a viewer whose girlfriend broke up with him because he tends to lose his shit when he feels like he can’t get through to her. He tends to try to force and impose his will on other people which works on guys who are challenging him, but when he does it with his girlfriend it goes over like a lead balloon.

“We must always respect the free will, freedom and boundaries of those who we are in relationship with. When someone tries to use guilt, sympathy, anger, manipulation or force to impose their will upon another, that person will always resent it and ultimately choose their own freedom instead of staying in relationship with them. If you feel insecure, inept or that you do not deserve to have what you want or someone to love you of their own free will, you must resist the urge to use words and tactics that do not respect the freedom, free will and choice of those you love, or want to be loved by. If you don’t, eventually they will leave you because you are violating their freedom, their self and their dignity. Love and relationships are about giving, not possessing or forcefully imposing your will upon others out of weakness or fear.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne