I Need Some Space

Sep 11, 2013 by Coach Corey Wayne

86524420What you should do when a woman you are dating says that she needs some space or she suddenly stops responding to your phone calls, texts or messages. How to determine if the woman you are dating is emotionally unstable or if you’re simply chasing her away with needy or stalkerish behavior.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer whose girlfriend of five months suddenly stopped responding to his texts, phone calls and messages. After several days she got in touch with him to say that she needed space. Three weeks later she reached out to him and the courtship resumed, but the sex stopped when they started dating again.

A few weeks later she started ignoring him again after suggesting he could be happier with someone else on their last date. He wants to know if she is a fruitloop or if there is something else going on.

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“Usually when someone you are dating says that they need some space it’s because they are starting to feel smothered by you and that they are losing their freedom. This causes them to feel like you are attached to the idea of being with them as the source of your happiness, instead of loving them unconditionally and sharing your completeness with them as an equal. They go from feeling loved by you to feeling like you are trying possess and control them. Give those you love the space to choose you or leave you. If they leave you they were never yours anyway. True love is two people mutually wanting each other out of desire, not a need to possess or control.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Published on September 11, 2013

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hey Corey thanks for the eval! You’re right about the communication prior to “space”. I was doing 60-70% of it! I was blind and now I see!

    Even after she started coming back I truly didn’t communicate with her first. The week the shit blew up again, I did send those text messages (mistakenly) because I thought I could initiate some simple communication again since the weekend before we’d gone out twice and had a nice time.

    After the date she had her head in my lap and said “you really do love me don’t you”. Things seemed to be getting back on track.

    The second time she went silent, I was really pissed. I didn’t let her know that. So I boxed up the things she had at my place and dropped them at her front door. Don’t know if that was the right thing to do or not, but a signal had to be sent that what she was doing was bullshit.

    I haven’t communicated with her since, but she did text me last Saturday morning saying she was going to to a music festival with her girlfriend. I replied, “That’s cool. Have fun. Call me when you get back”. Not heard anything since then.

    This woman told me that she wants to have a relationship with me but she doesn’t know how with all the stuff going on with her kid. She said she needs to figure out how to live her life and deal with his issues at the same time.

    Plus she was married for 20-years in a really bad situation. Been divorced for 7-years and hasn’t, according to her, had a significant relationship since. She’s had guys burn her and I think is scared about getting close to someone again.

    So, there is a lot of emotional baggage going on that could be making her a fucking fruitloop.

    At this point she’ll either come back and we’ll have that come to Jesus discussion or she won’t

    Right now I have 4 dates lined up for the rest of the week. NOT DEAD CANT QUIT!

    Thanks Brother!

  2. I found this quote and thought it applies to everything you teach, “Never chase love, affection or attention. If it isn’t given freely by another person, it isn’t worth having.”

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