How you should approach and handle situations where you are dating and hooking up with multiple women who run in the same social circles if you are worried what will happen if they find out about each other, and the fact that both of them are dating you and saying things such as, “I never do this kind of thing,” “How did you manage this?” etc. after hooking up.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about three months. He says it has really helped him change his outlook on dating and life in general. He is doing really well with creating rapport with women and other people. Last weekend he went to a party and was chatting up several women all night. Towards the end of the night, one of the first women he chatted with came up to him and started kissing him. He then set a date right on the spot and had a good first date with her several days later. However, she was much more reserved on the date.
The very next night, a beautiful redhead that he had met at the same party texted him while they were at the same venue. She met up with him. They started making out, and shortly thereafter she was naked in his bed doing the Indoor Olympics with him. He is worried what will happen if they both find out about each other, since they run in the same social circles. He wonders if he should apologize for dating and hooking up with the redhead on his next date with the other girl. I tell him what he should do instead. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I have been following your work for about the last 3 months, and it has really helped me change my outlook on dating and life in general. I appreciate all of your help, so keep up the good work. I am 30 years old and have recently broken up with my long distance girlfriend. Ever since, I have been concentrating on my personal and career goals and focusing on being positive, charming and genuine to all those I meet. This has been very effective in building rapport with people, particularly women.
I went to a party last weekend, and a cute brunette I knew there was interested in me, always talking to me, touching me and putting herself into my orbit. I was talking to a lot of girls that night, just generally having a good time and seemed to have gained the interest of several girls at the party. (Unlike the other guys running around trying to pick girls up, you’re just talking and having a good time. Women who really like you will approach you. You were focusing on having a good time and exhibiting the body language, physiology and vibe I talk about in my article, “How To Get Women to Approach You First” and my video, “Body Language That Attracts Women.”) Towards the end of the night I was dancing with a group of girls, when the one that was very interested in me decided enough was enough, came straight up to me and started kissing me. (If you have lots of choices and options in women at a party or event, and you want to make sure you get the very best one, you’ll interact with as many of them as possible.) I got her number and arranged a date for later that week. She was a lot more reserved on the date, but asked me a lot of questions and let me take the lead, which I took as a good sign. I went for the kiss at the end of the date, but nothing more.
The very next night, after the date, I was in a bar at a private function room for a group function. One of the girls, a gorgeous redhead from the party the previous week, was in the bar and texting me that she wanted to see me, so I brought her up to the function room, and we had a great time. We started making out, and before you know it, she was naked in my bed saying to me, “How did you manage this? I never do this kind of thing.” Yeah right. (It’s probably true, because most guys probably talk her out of liking them.) This girl was only in town a short time so was just looking for a good time, not a long time, which is fine by me. (In both situations, the girls approached you. The doors were open for both of them, and all you had to do was literally walk through them.) However, they are both from similar friend circles and will more than likely find out about each other. (As Doc Love says, “When kitty cats compete, you win.”) I still want to date the brunette girl, as this has potential to progress into a relationship. (Slow your roll dude. You only had one date with this girl. You also said yourself that she’s reserved. It’s more fun to be with a girl who doesn’t hold back.) I am not exclusive with either girl, so I am technically free to date anyone. (Gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, and technically it’s none of their business.) However, I don’t think she will appreciate it. Shall I bring it up? (No. Tell her you don’t talk about what you’ve done on other dates.) Not say anything? (Exactly. Don’t say anything.) Apologize to her on our second date? (That won’t go over well. Think it through dude. Women like guys who are mysterious.) I’m not used to this amount of female attention. (You’re reading my book and applying it. What did you expect was going to happen?) How do you date multiple women without hurting or upsetting them? (You’ve only been out on one date with this girl. You shouldn’t feel guilty about this.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Women are often competitive and sometimes ruthless when they like the same guy. The reality is, women are more attracted to men who are popular with women in general. They are less attracted to men who are not very successful with women. Women who have a healthy self-esteem and a high level of confidence are not intimidated by other female competition. They have the attitude that they are better and will get the guy they really want. Women who lack self-confidence and who have a low-self esteem will get angry, jealous, possessive, controlling and pissed-off at a guy when she wants him, but he has other options. A gentleman never kisses and tells, and he never brags about his sexual exploits to a woman he is interested in. The bottom line is, he will have many more dating options and much more female interest when women know he is popular with the ladies. Since his reputation precedes him, there is no need to brag about his success or apologize for it either.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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