I Think I May Have Gotten The Wrong Woman Pregnant!

Some things to consider if you might have gotten a low character woman pregnant.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who says he ignored obvious red flags in a woman he was dating. She came from a broken home and had terrible relationships with her family who have truckloads of problems. She is pregnant but unsure of who the father is.

He plans on getting a paternity test once the child is born, but she has been lying to his face about who she slept with and when she did it. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, this poor guy has been following my work for about five years. He’s read 3% Man 10 times, and he made the mistake of dating a woman and making a lot of excuses for her, because he was a little too focused on how much he liked her and ignored the fact she came from a broken home and her family has like truckloads of problems. So she broke things off with him and then hooked up with another guy, and in a matter of weeks later, she’s like, “Oh by the way, I’m pregnant and I don’t know who the father is,” and he’s like, “Oh.”

Especially guys that live in a state where the laws are not in their favor, you can imagine he’s going to be having some sleepless nights for the next seven, eight months. So this is a good email to learn from. The kind of one that guys will be watching and go, “Man, I feel bad for him, but I’m really glad this guy shared it because I’m gonna make sure I definitely wear a raincoat and don’t raw-dog it,” because if you raw-dog it and you finish inside her, you are rolling the dice. Especially if you’re a baller and you’re successful, lots of guys in the NBA and the NFL have problems with that. They go, they hook up with a girl and they finish inside her, and next thing they know, they got a paternity suit on them.

So I mean, I really feel for this guy. He’s got about probably seven, eight months before the baby’s born. So he’s going to be wondering if he’s going to be a dad or not. It’s like, how do you get excited about that? So they kind of started seeing each other again and then she broke up with him again because number one, she was lying about things. Number two, she didn’t like his lack of enthusiasm about the kid. Maybe it’s not his. I mean, we’re hoping it’s not his, but you know, imagine spending the next seven, eight months wondering, “Is this baby mine or not?” Because once she has the baby and then you do the paternity test, it’s like, “Hey, it’s not yours,” you’re like, “Yes, I’m free! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach,

I’ve been following your work for five years and have read 3% Man 10 times. Truth be told I slipped up, got complacent and ignored the red flags.

Well, as Ayn Rand said, “You can ignore reality, but you can’t ignore the consequences of ignoring reality.”

I would like some help with my situation. It’ll make you feel like you’re on Jerry Springer.

Well, a lot of times we get these video newsletters and I’m like, “Yep, that totally would end up on Jerry Springer.” I’ve seen some of those episodes where you got a woman on there and there’s three dudes, she’s pregnant and she’s like, “Oh, I want them all in the delivery room. I don’t know which one’s the father, but it’d be great to have them all there,” and the guys are like, “Uhh.” You’re dating a cum dumpster.

I (30-year-old male) was dating this girl (27-year-old female) for six months who I was semi exclusive with. We met on a dating app and I made the date for the next day. We meet up and slept together for the first time. (This was the first time I had sex in five years).

So he was definitely thirsty and was not thinking clear-headedly. He was just like, “I gotta bust a nut, Coach. You don’t understand. It’s been five years. I need the pussy embargo to be over!”

She’s been one month out of an abusive (physical) relationship of two years.

So we have to assume she probably doesn’t have good character.

She admitted to me that she doesn’t get along with any of her family and had an awful childhood.

Well, we already know that she’s from a broken home.

Alcoholic and abusive father that left her when she was young. Narcissistic mother. So she left or has been on her own since she was 15 and gone through the system (Foster homes, etc).

That’s tough.

She has serious anger management issues and C-PTSD.

I don’t know what the C is. I don’t know what that is. Post traumatic stress something C. I don’t know.

So just a little side note, you guys. The puppies are coming up on a year in February, and Momo is starting to get her first period. So Elon, the brother, is trying to bone. The thing with dogs is like, even if they’re related, they’ll bone. So his balls might be on the chopping block here. So there’s that. I’m not happy about having to do that, by the way, but he’s only got one ball that has dropped, which is weird. Here comes Elon with his pecker in his hand. He’s a one-ball man and we’re off to the rodeo. Guys ever hear of Rodney Carrington? Pretty funny.

I decided to let this go because she admitted to going through therapy to work on all her issues. Admittedly I got my emotions involved and when you haven’t had sex in a long time with a beautiful woman you lose it or think, “I can save this girl.”

Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue. Yep. This is what happens. You focus on how much you like her and you don’t keep your wits about you. It’s hard to vet a woman when you’re focused on how much you like her and hope that she likes you back. You’ll just excuse everything, but when you get burned enough and you have enough experience, again that’s why I do these emails.

I know there are dudes of various experience levels coming in, no experience, some experience, were married a long time, in a relationship a long time, and now they’re single again, and all these different scenarios are good emails to learn from. Especially when we’re looking at other guys mistakes, or like in this case, he raw-dogged it. Now you got a girl pregnant. There will be dudes that’ll be watching this that would have done that and they’ll think, “Oh shit, I remember that fucking video that Corey did. That poor bastard. He spent almost nine months wondering whether or not he was the father.” You’re going to wake up with that every day and you’re going to wonder, are you excited? Either way, you’re going to be excited, right? You have a kid, you’re like, “Hey, I’m a dad,” and if it’s not yours, you’re like, “Oh, thank God I’m not having a kid with her!”

Here’s where shit hit the fan. She decided to break things off at the end of September 2025 to work on herself…

So she’s working on herself and she’s dumping you, it means her interest is low. So her interest was going the wrong way, but she came from a broken home. Again, the book is designed to work on healthy women and to repulse the lunatics. So maybe the book was working as designed here.

…She doesn’t know who she is, her mental health is in the gutter, etc.

Again, if a woman needs to fix herself and find herself, let her go. Do that and go find a woman that’s already done those things or that grew up in a good family.

Two weeks later she calls me and says that she’s pregnant.

“Excuse me. You’re what?”

She said that two days after she broke things off, she slept with her male friend…

Well, I guess she needed a little rebound sex.

…Who I was always wary about…

Oh, yeah. The male friend. “He’s just a friend. You don’t have to worry about him.”

…And said the condom may have broke with them. She doesn’t know who the father is because we had unprotected sex the one night a few weeks prior…

Well, when the baby gets a little bigger, they can kind of tell how far along she is, and they’re pretty accurate about that. So you may have to wait a few weeks and then they can more pinpoint when she got knocked up.

…So we chat about what to do next. Two weeks after that conversation, she admits to me that she didn’t sleep with her friend two days after she broke things off with me. It actually happened in August.

Oh, so she cheated on him. That’s swell.

I like to date one person at a time and if I find out you sleep with other people, I’m gone or we chat about it kind of thing. I know it goes against your principles of seeing other people, but this is how I am. I like loyalty, trust and respect in my relationships…

Well, loyalty and trust is earned. So you’re basically giving loyalty and trust without her having earned it. Therefore, it’s not very valuable. So you give your loyalty and trust away to somebody that didn’t earn it, and how does she repay you? She goes and fucks her friend and then lie to your face about it. “Oh, that was after we broke up. I slept with him. Oh, it was a month before you broke up with me.” Oh, OK. That’s great. Swell…”

So if you don’t value your loyalty and your exclusivity, guess what? Nobody else will either. So you gave it to her, and she didn’t have to earn it. You just decided since you were dating her, you were going to be loyal to her, even though she didn’t earn it, and what happened? She pissed all over you. She pissed all over it. She pissed in your Wheaties like it was nothing.

…And she would joke saying, “If I sleep with someone else, I’ll tell you.”

Sure.

Well, she lied to my face for almost two months.

Shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

We tried to make things work but she broke things off again because I wasn’t “excited” for the baby.

How could you be excited? You feel like you got roped into it. It’s entrapment.

She broke my trust, how can I be excited when it feels like she cheated?

Well, you said you were kind of semi exclusive. In other words, you felt like you were exclusive to her, but she clearly wasn’t exclusive to you. So you never had a conversation. You don’t give somebody loyalty and trust when they haven’t earned it. So you’re kind of violating a principle that’s really important in the book. Obviously it sounds like you’re a good, loyal dude, but again, if you’re loyal to somebody who’s a ratchet and you get fucked over, well that’s on you, because you didn’t vet their character. You just assumed their word was good. It is good to assume somebody trustworthy, but you got to look at their actions, but to be exclusive with somebody just because you went out on one date, that’s absurd.

Coach, I need your advice and don’t know what to do next. I’m getting a paternity test and will be an active parent if the child is mine.

Bob

So I assume you’re going to wait until the kid is born, because I think it’s kind of risky to do a paternity test while the baby is still in the amniotic fluid. I know they can do those things, but I think I’m sure it’s pretty risky, so they would probably not do it. So guess what? If that’s the case, you’re going to be on pins and needles until the baby is born.

So the other thing is, say the kid turns out to be yours. Well, having a child with somebody like this and trying to raise them, it’s clearly not going to work. I mean, she’s kind of a screwball. So the best thing your kid would need from you is a good example of you being in a happy, healthy relationship, especially as a child gets older. I see that mom’s life is a shit show, but dad has a good woman in his life who’s honest, loyal and is a good stepmom. Then as a kid gets older, they’re going to look at dad and give what dad says more credence. More often than not, when a kid becomes a teenager, they’re going to want to live with dad instead because again, mom is just a shit show, and dad provides structure and good example to follow and provides a good, loving, stable, nurturing environment, whereas mom’s life is just a chaotic mess. So if the kids ends up being yours, you got to be the best dad you can be. I wouldn’t get together with her and think, “Well, we have a child together. Let’s try to make it work,” because then you’re going to make each other miserable and hate each other. When you split up, it might be hard to have a hand in raising your child if you don’t stay together now and you don’t get back together with her again, and it turns out in seven, eight months when the baby’s born, that’s assuming she’s keeping it and that it is yours, again I wouldn’t date her because you think, “Oh, we’re staying in it for the kids,” because that’s going to screw you up and it’s going to screw your child up.

Kids need a great example. Whatever is model for them at home is what they’re going to grow up to emulate. So you got to be the better parent. Yeah, you slip one past the goalie and you screwed up, but you may have slipped one past the goalie, but I wouldn’t be tempted to be hanging out with her. I’d keep her in arm’s length, keep things cordial between the two of you and just say, “I think you’re a great girl, but relationship wise, we’re not aligned. Plus, you cheated on me. I can’t be with a woman that cheats.” I know you said you weren’t exclusive, but at the end of the day, she lied to your face, she told you it was after you guys split up, and then she decided to be honest, come clean and tell you that, “Oh by the way, she slept with somebody else,” the guy friend that she told you not to worry about. If you get into a relationship with her, you’ve taken her back after she cheated. So more than likely, given the right circumstances, she’ll lie and cheat on you.

I’ve had dudes that I’ve done phone sessions with and they got several kids and they end up finding out after decades together that half their children aren’t even theirs. Some of them are their best friend’s, their business partner’s, their next door neighbor’s. It usually happens when the kid gets old enough and they go, “You know what? My son, my daughter, they don’t look like me.” You don’t want to be that guy. If you get into a relationship with a woman like this, you’re going to be wondering the rest of your life, “Is that kid mine or not?” You’re going to be doing a paternity test on every single one of them. You don’t want to live that way. Again, you’re already going to spend the next seven or eight months wondering whether or not the kid’s yours. If it turns out it’s not, you’re like, “Good luck to you and that other dude. Whew, dodged a bullet. Thank the Lord I won’t do that again.” These are the kinds of things you want to learn from and not make the same mistake.

I say it all the time, wear a raincoat. Don’t be raw-dogging it with those crazy girls, and make sure you flush your condoms. Apparently, it’s not very environmentally friendly because I usually get a lecture from somebody, “Put them in the garbage. Don’t flush the condom. It’s not good for the environment.” It’s like, it’s much better, especially if your guy makes a lot of money, there are women that will take the condom out of the garbage can and turn it inside out and try to get themselves pregnant so they can come after you. Lots of guys in the NBA, the NFL, go through that. So it would behoove you to wear a raincoat and not be dating those crazy girls. I know some of you guys like that shit. I get it. Sex is great, but it’s a 20-year commitment. Having a kid with somebody that you know you’re not going to be with. So I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you, buddy. I hope it turns out the kid is not yours, but if it is, congratulations. You’re a dad!

The most important thing is the example that you set for your kid. Quite frankly, based on what you shared about this woman, she’s not going to be a good example to any child. So it would behoove you to set your life up and find a good woman who shares your goals and values so you both can help co-parent your child because again, as a kid gets older, especially they get into teenage years, if you can keep things cordial, not date her and not get all messed up emotionally with that, and she can date this other male friend, then if it turns out it is yours, it’ll just make things a lot easier to co-parent with her, but if you date, it becomes nasty, contentious and she hates you, you’re going to have difficulty when it comes time to exchanging the kids. So I feel for you, dude.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.