I Thought The Romance Was Progressing. Then She Waited 24 Hours To Reply

What it means when a woman suddenly waits 24 hours to respond to your message.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work for about four months and has read 3% Man eight times. He’s 24 and started dating a 22-year-old girl from the dating app Hinge. She never initiated contact in-between dates. After their last date she waited 24 hours to reply when he tried setting up the next date. She said she was out of town and would reach out soon.

It’s now been over one week since he’s heard from her and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, if a woman waits 24 hours to reply, that’s usually a sign that the only reason she’s replying is she’s trying to be nice and not rude, but it’s clear the interest is lower than it was if that’s the first time she did it, so her interest went the wrong way instead of the right way.

So in this particular email, this guy’s been following my work for about four months. He’s read 3% Man eight times so far. He’s 24 and started dating a 22-year-old girl that he met on the dating app Hinge, and he noticed that she never once initiated contact in between dates. So what does that mean? It means she’s either structured, following a set of rules or her interest is low. So based on what I’ve seen here, it looks like the interest and rapport is low between the two of them, but he’s pretty focused on his feelings and his interest in her and is kind of ignoring that, like most guys are.

So the last date they had at, which I think was the third or the fourth time they got together, he was reaching out a few days later to try to set up the next date, and then she waited a full 24 hours to reply. Could have been an ex came back, but the fact that she waited 24 hours for whatever reason, her interest is less than it was the last time. It could be that there’s another guy in the picture, and she doesn’t want to blow him off yet, but you got to learn when to back off and when to wait, because he told her to get in touch and then he kind of says something. He just kind of copied and pasted from 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, and you’ll see when I read it, it kind of is like out of place. This is why I say read the book 10 to 15 times, so you know the book backwards and forwards instead of just thumbing through it once or twice, because when guys do that, they kind of do what this guy did, which is to try to copy and paste things word for word from my book or from something I said in a video without really understanding the philosophy or why you do what you do. The idea is if you understand the philosophy, the words don’t really matter, but if you don’t understand the philosophy, you think the words are magic and you want to copy and paste, and that kind of makes you look like a robot. Don’t be a robot. Don’t be a robot, Ocean! So cute!

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

My name is Bob and I’m from Florida. I’ve been following your work for four months now…

I got the doggy slobber on my face.

…And I’m currently on my 8th read of 3% Man.

I met a girl on Hinge. She’s 22 and I’m 24. I built just enough rapport over the phone to set up a first date and left it at that.

Yeah, that’s all you need to do. If the conversation doesn’t flow on the phone, there’s no point in meeting. When I used to do online dating, which I’m not a big fan of, is you want to at least do a 10 to 15 minute phone call just so you can see how the conversation flows, because if you’re going to drive somewhere, you’re going to get all dressed up, you’re going to risk money, you want to make sure you’re going out with somebody that you like talking to and who likes talking to you and who the conversation flows with, if the conversation don’t flow on the phone, you’re wasting your time and your hard earned money taking a girl out that probably is not going to go anywhere with her.

You want to have a good experience, you want things to be easy and effortless, because when you go out with girls and it doesn’t go well and you waste money, it’s frustrating. That’s the part that makes dating suck, is that the things that don’t go anywhere when you get your hopes up. So the idea is the book is the cheat codes. It’s to give you the most efficient way to move forward and create attraction naturally, or should I say, grow attraction naturally, because attraction really can’t be created. It can be revealed and it can be nurtured, so it grows, but attraction is not a choice.

We went to a bar and hit it off right away, and I let her do about 75% of the talking. One thing to note- I asked lots of questions and found out that she broke up with a boyfriend of three years just six months ago. As I was opening her up, I started noticing signs of attraction including touch and I slowly reciprocated.

So far, so good.

I went for the kiss at the end of the date and we ended up making out at her car. Fast forward five days, and we had not talked so I reached out to set up the next date.

So you can kind of tell the guy is thinking, “Well, I took her out once, so now I don’t have to pursue anymore.” It’s not how it works. Usually the pursuing can start to slow down after you sleep together and the woman starts reaching out, but if they don’t, it’s either because of low interest or they’re structured and following a set of rules, and you don’t want either. You want high interest. You want a girl that’s like, “Hell yeah, I’d love to see you! Hell yeah, I’d love to spend some time with you!” Like the puppies. Like sitting in my lap. Ocean tends to come and go because she’s a chick. Even though she’s a dog, she acts like a kitty cat because it’s a girl. That’s feminine energy. Comes and goes. She’s here and she’s there. She’s here, she’s there. Never get bothered by that. Never get bothered. Has nothing to do with you. That’s just the way they are. I didn’t make them that way. It’s the way they are. It’s the beauty of the dance between masculine and feminine energy.

So she’s been single. She was with a guy for three years. She’s been single for six months. So he goes for the kiss they make out. You can tell he’s already kind of like, “Why hasn’t she reached out?” It’s just a process. They’re all different.

This time, I noticed higher attraction from the start of the date.

Well, that’s a good sign. That means she was more interested. So at least at that point, her attraction is going in the right direction.

We’re trying to talk here, thank you! Excuse me, but women are supposed to be seen and not heard, thank you very much.

She was touching me and maintained close proximity the entire time. We ended up kissing in the restaurant, so I suggested we head somewhere private. We ended up having some fun in the backseat of my car and it was great.

Well, he thinks it was great.

After five more days of no communication, I reached out to set the next date. I know ideally she would start pursuing at this point. We went out and had the best date yet. She was all over me from the start, holding my hand, kissing me in public and hugging me. I suggested that we open a bottle of wine at my place, but she declined.

You’re so noisy…

So obviously if he’s inviting her back to his place, she knows what he’s thinking. So a delay is not an outright denial. It doesn’t mean you just give up, but the idea is you’re supposed to have three different places to go to, and at your third place when you’re all over each other, that’s when you invite her to come back to your place. If she says no, let’s just have another drink and you hang out for a while, you continue talking, making out and maybe 30 minutes, 45 minutes later you say, “Hey, let’s get out and go back to my place and pop that bottle of wine,” and then she may say yes, or she may say, “Let’s have another drink,” or whatever.

I didn’t let this phase me and we continued to hang out playing darts and shooting pool.

Which is exactly what you’re supposed to do.

Her attraction level stayed high to this point, and we ended up making out and heavy petting at her car. She lives with her parents and it was 1 a.m. at this point, so we went our separate ways.

Once again, I waited to reach out and didn’t hear from her for five days…

No barking! Gotta keep these freaks calm.

“He acted like a robot, Ocean.” Don’t act like a robot.

…So I reached out to try to set another date. She waited 24 hours…

So maybe at that point, four dates, four weeks, he waits exactly five days. You do that and you act like a robot, women are going to go, “He’s running game on me or something. He’s following a script.”

So the idea is to be unpredictable. You can wait two or three days, you can wait seven days, eight days, six days, but don’t do the same thing every week like a fucking robot. That’s a piss poor effort. You got to be mysterious and unpredictable.

So what I might have done, because she didn’t want to come back instead of waiting five days, maybe you should have waited six or seven days this time because you want her to be unsure. Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. If you go out on three dates, and every single time you plan dates, you wait exactly five days, women are not stupid. They’re going to pick up on it. Like, “Why does that guy wait exactly five days to contact me? Why is he always contacting me on Tuesday to ask me out for Thursday?” Unless of course, you only have the same day available, but again, you got to mix it up. You got to be unpredictable, mysterious. Women love mystery, right, Oshi?

…Before telling me she was going to be out of town for the weekend but that she would reach out soon.

So she says, “I’ll reach out when I’m back,” or whatever it was that she said. Then all you needed to say was, “Oh, that sounds great. You know, I look forward to hearing from you.” That’s it. “Enjoy your trip.” Instead, what does he do? He acts like a robot.

I texted back saying, “It seems you have a lot going on right now. How about you reach out when your schedule clears up?”

There’s no reason. That’s like copy and pasting from the book, the videos, 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. It’s just totally unnecessary. She said she’s going to reach out soon. Like, you got to give women the time and the space to follow through on their plans and commitments, i.e. in this case, “Hey, I’ll reach out soon.” “Great! I look forward to hearing from you. Can’t wait to see you again,” whatever, and just let her be. Maybe it takes three or four days to hear back from her, maybe she waits a week, but the fact that a full 24 hours went by and then she says, “Oh, I’m out of town.” Then just copy and paste, “It seems like you have a lot going on right now. How about you reach out when your schedule clears up?” I mean, it’s just direct copy and paste from things I’ve said in videos and what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back. There’s nothing mysterious about that. You sound like a fucking robot. Don’t do that.

She said she definitely will, but now I haven’t heard from her in a week. 

Oh my God! Oh my God! He hasn’t heard from her in a week! What are we going to do? It’s terrible!”

Well, if I look at this, she didn’t seem to be super enthusiastic. She hasn’t reached out once in between their dates, which is kind of abnormal because if she really liked the guy and her interest was going up, she should have texted, sent a meme, or said, “Hey,” or whatever. So it sure looks like her interest is low and she waits a full 24 hours. That means her interest has dropped.

My question is this: Why do you think she would wait a full 24 hours to respond after showing so much attraction on the last date?

Well, because you waited exactly five days and you did that four times, then you started to look like a robot and she probably felt like you’re just following something you read on the internet like a robot instead of acting like a natural dude.

Do you think she could’ve possibly started seeing the ex again?

Definitely possible.

And do you think I responded appropriately by telling her to reach out when she’s free?

It was totally unnecessary. She already told you she was going to reach out soon and then you pasting, “It seems like you have a lot going on right now. How about you reach out when your schedule clears up?” That’s totally unnecessary. You don’t even need to text that to her. This tells me you don’t understand the book or the philosophy and you have a weak grasp of the fundamentals, so instead of sounding natural, you’re acting and sounding like a robot and you’re copying and pasting things.

I know as the man I have to be congruent with my words and wait for her to reach out next.

Thanks for everything Corey and keep up the great work!

Best,

Bob

Yeah, at this point, there’s nothing you can do, because if the ex came back in the picture, you’re not going to hear from her, but if the ex came back in the picture, it didn’t work out however many times they got together and broke up or if it was on and off. So more than likely, at some point, you’ll probably hear from her again. Maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. It could be more days, I don’t know. If she disappears like that, that’s why you just let her be. You don’t get upset. You just realize that, “Hey, she didn’t follow through on what she committed. She said she’s going to get back to me, and she never did.” A man who has choices and options with women, a woman says, “Oh, I got to check my schedule and get back to you.” He’s going to be OK with that. Then if she doesn’t get back to him, he’s like, “Well, I guess she wasn’t that interested, which is fine, because I only want to spend my time with somebody who really likes me and who’s really interested,” or “Hey, maybe she did get back together with the ex. If that’s the case, I don’t want to be involved with a chick that’s still bouncing back and forth between me and her ex, because she was kind of standoffish.”

So it’s clear that her interest is low. Maybe it’s the ex, maybe he did and said things on the date that turned her off. I mean, she sure seemed excited to see him on that last date, but maybe he did and said things on that date that turned her off and he didn’t realize it, because all we really have to go off of is the fact that she waited 24 hours. When a woman does that, when she waits a whole 24 hours to reply, it means her interest is low. She doesn’t want to totally burn you as a romantic prospect, but she’s also not doing anything to make herself available to you. It could mean the ex, could mean another guy, maybe Chad Thundercock is in the picture. You just don’t know. The bottom line is, we look at her actions, she doesn’t really seem to care to see you very much. I mean, if she was back and forth between the ex, maybe that’s what it is. Maybe you did and said things. Maybe you just came off as a robot and by the end of that date, she kind of felt like you were using the same script and you were doing the same thing every time you went out, but if we just take a step back and we bottom line her actions and we look at how she never once reached out ever to him first, which that looks like low interest or she’s structured and then all of a sudden, the seemingly go from excited and enthusiastic to see him on the last date to waiting 24 hours, that looks like her interest is going down. It could be because he turned her off. It could be because there’s another guy. Either way, she’s not responding positively. The fact that a whole week has gone by and he hasn’t heard from her? The best thing he can do is nothing. So the only way that they’re ever going to see each other or speak again is if she reaches out. That’s it. Pretty simple. Right, Rocky? Yep! See? Rocky knows. He knows. He’s a good boy!

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.