I Walked Away & Now She’s Reaching Out

What it means and what you should do when you walk away, and she starts reaching out to you.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a guy who is obviously cherry picking from my videos and hasn’t read my book, How To Be A 3% Man, as instructed. He doesn’t understand the fundamentals of what I teach. He is acting like a white knight, clueless guy who has no game with women. As a result, a woman he met is jerking him around and he is doing just about everything he can to unknowingly blow his chances with her.

His behavior is causing him to get ghosted, disrespected, blown off and jerked around, but yet he keeps inviting her to do it to him again. This is a great example of what not to do with women, unless you want to get friend-zoned and ghosted. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I’ve got an email here from a guy and I’m going to probably roast him, because he’s been following me for I don’t know how long, but it’s obvious he’s just cherry-picking from the videos, he hasn’t read my first book, How To Be A 3% Man, and he is doing just about everything wrong that he can possibly do. He’s kind of acting like a Mr. White Knight, “I’m going to be the perfect guy. I’m going to be a total gentleman. I’m understanding that she just got out of a four and a half year relationship.”

And so, he’s being really nice, but what’s happening is this chick is jerking him around and he’s putting up with it. He’s tolerating it, he’s inviting more of it, and he doesn’t realize that his behavior is actually enabling her to do this to him. So, hopefully we can talk some sense into this guy and prevent him from getting walked all over, because he’s literally begging to have it happen again, and again, and again. Women don’t respect men who don’t stand up for themselves. And if a woman doesn’t respect you as a man, she cannot love you.

Viewer’s Email:

Coach,

Thank you for everything that you do.  Your work has been super impactful; I’m no expert, but I’m working at it.

Dude, you’ve got to read the book 10 to 15 times. There’s no way to get around it. You can read it for free on my website, UnderstandingRelationships.com. Just subscribe to the newsletter. You can also read “Mastering Yourself,” my second book, the book on self-reliance. I’ve even got my third book in there now, “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations,” so you can read all three of the digital versions for free on my website in your web browser or on your mobile device.

I was at a few social settings with some friends 8 months ago, and this woman who was taken at the time kept giving me eyes.  I’ve met her ex in passing a few times, so out of respect I didn’t introduce myself and they were still together.

A very gentlemanly thing to do. You’re going to operate with a sense of integrity, and you’re not going to go after other people’s chicks or girlfriends or wives, even if they’re touching you, or rubbing up against you, or giving you the fuck me eyes, because then you’re inviting people into your life that have no integrity. And if you get involved with them, thinking that things are going to be different with you, you’re a moron.

Don’t be a moron. Don’t get involved, and don’t put the vibe out there that you’ll tolerate low integrity people or invite low integrity people to operate with low integrity in your life and other people’s. When you operate from your value system, you will repel people that are just not good.

Two months ago, I saw her on social media and noticed she was single. I sent her a message and eventually set a date – she obliged.  We had a great time, went out for drinks. I could tell she was really nervous, as this was her first date after being in a 4.5-year relationship. 

Well, it doesn’t it sound like she really had much time to be single, and heal and get over it.

The date went well, we had a good time. I walked her home but didn’t kiss her, because her door woman was right there talking to us, the timing didn’t seem right, and I didn’t force it.

We’ve hung out a few more times. She would always bring up hanging out again, and I just tried to keep it light, have a good time, and didn’t want to come in too hot out of respect for her break-up. 

Huh? Okay, Mr. White Knight. Come on, man. “Out of respect for her break.” Well, the bottom line is this girl wants to spend time with you. And if you had read “How To Be A 3% Man,” you would know that your job is to just simply create an opportunity for sex to happen – to hang out, to have fun, to hook up – not be Mr. White Knight.

Maybe she’s so glad that she’s out of that relationship, and she was looking to escape from her life and have a good time with you. A little pause, a little date in the evening, or the weekend, or whatever. It’s a way for her to to have a good time. Not for you to go out and show her what a nice guy you are. Women don’t like nice guys. They like men who are assertive, who are direct, who are decisive, who go for what they want.

Most recently, I took her to a hockey game, and we had a great time. After the game she suggested we go back to my place. I put a movie on and put the moves on her. She was definitely into it, but it we didn’t hook up, as she said she was on her period, (go figure). 

It happens.

We just made out and got handsy. We made plans to hang out on Halloween, and this where everything started to turn.

So, it kind of sounds like you made plans while you were still on a date for a future date – another violation of the book.

We made plans to meet at a bar with her friends.

Dude, come on, man! You never do group dates. This girl, you made out with one time.

I was bringing a few of my buddies, and we were all supposed to get together. 

The idea is that if you’re going on a group date with her friends, she doesn’t know you, her friends don’t know you, it’s going to be awkward for everybody. And your job is to create an opportunity for sex happen.

If you just agree to get together with her friends and your friends, you just brought in a bunch of cock blockers that are going to get in the way of the seduction process. She’s not going to act normal and natural around you, and vice versa. Therefore, she’s going to hold back and probably be a little bit of a cold fish and maybe even jerk you around a little bit. So, look what happened…

Long story short, we were supposed to all meet around 11:00, and she ghosted me for almost 3 hours. 

This is what happens when you don’t respect yourself and your time, and you act like Mr. Nice Guy, Mr. White Knight, and show her what a good dude you are. Women don’t care about that. They care about how they feel about you. And what’s happening is you’re acting like a nice guy, beta male that has no idea what he’s doing.

I heard from her later that night, apologizing, saying the bar was a shit show. 

No, she just didn’t want to see you that night. Probably because she had her girlfriends with her and she didn’t feel comfortable enough. Those are the kinds of things you do after you guys are in love, or she’s in love with you and she’s asked you to be her boyfriend, and you’re serious – several months down the road. Not when you had her come over, and you kissed her a little bit and got a little handsy.

I just told her, “No worries, let me know if you still want to meet up,” and never heard anything.

So, you just basically invited her to jerk you around again.

I texted her on Sunday, checking in, (probably a mistake). But she apologized again and would still send me random Snapchats and such throughout the day. 

Yep. She ghosted you, she disrespected you, she blew you off. You made plans to meet up, and she ghosted you. If you love and you value yourself, you’re not going to wait around on her, you’re going to go hang out with other people.

And if she doesn’t like you enough, and respect you enough, and want to spend time with you enough to reach out after a few days of not hearing from you, then “next!” You move on. But when you just keep chasing after somebody that jerks you around like that, you’re saying, “Please, do this again.”

She knows what she did was wrong. And so, this is a compliance test. She’s seeing if you’ll stand up to her, and you didn’t. You let her walk all over you.

I asked if she was free Wednesday. She told me she might have to work late but would like to come over. 

In other words, “You can be my backup plan if Chad Thundercock doesn’t come through.” He took a maybe date. So, in other words, you basically said, “My time is not valuable, and it’s okay to jerk me around.” So, what do you think she’s going to do? Do you think she’s going to come over?

She never let me know but sent me a picture of her at home on the couch. I told her, “It doesn’t look like were meeting up, Lol.”  

Yeah, because you didn’t make definite plans. You weren’t assertive, you weren’t direct, you weren’t decisive. You were just like a floppy cock, beta male. Therefore, nothing happened.

I mean, you can go on the dating apps, Jennifer and I were talking about this in some videos we were filming over the weekend, and you can see it in the profiles. A lot of women are there complaining, and she’s seeing the same thing. Guys chit-chat and they go back and forth, and they never get around to making a date. Too many guys are like that, too passive, too much soy.

No response, but she messaged me the next day apologizing again. 

Whatever.

She asked me what my plans were this upcoming weekend, and I told her my buddy and I might be going to this bar/lounge. She told me she would be out with a girlfriend and we should all meet up. 

“Oh, let’s do another group date!” Swell, blue balls. Sounds exciting. Love it. Love blue balls.

She flaked again.

I’m shocked.

But would send me indirect snaps of her out with her friend. I just told her let me know if you still want to join.

She didn’t want to join, because you’re too soft.

I didn’t hear from her on Saturday. I send her a text on Sunday, basically empathizing with her current situation of being 5 months single, but also telling her if she has no intentions to meet up again, we should stop talking. 

Your problem is you’re acting like a beta male, dude. You don’t know the book. You didn’t read the book. Now you’ve drooled all over her, “Oh, you poor thing. Oh, you must be having a hard time.” No, she wants a fucking man.

She wants a guy that acts like a fucking man, who makes a date with him and her, hangs out, has fun and hooks up. You rearrange her insides, you beat up her pelvis. That’s what she really wants – a man who knows what he’s doing and takes the lead. And you’re just another passive, nice guy, Harry Honda. That is what it is, bro.

She responded, apologizing and saying she appreciates me calling her out, but she is using the weekends to spend time with friends, and she’s still getting adjusted of going on dates again. She claimed on Friday she lost track of time. 

Whatever. Dude, you believe that bullshit? Come on, man! Come on.

I told her I understand and appreciate her response and to let me know when she wants to meet up again. Already, she’s sending me snaps of her at dinner with her friends. 

What’s my play moving forward? I haven’t responded to the indirect bullshit. It seems like a test. 

Thank you,

Bob

Get off fucking Snapchat, how about that? How about you don’t text her for any reason, unless she sends you a direct message? I wouldn’t do anything. I would never call or text this woman again for any reason. She can send all the Snapchats she wants. If you’re following her on there, don’t read them. Don’t look at them, don’t pay attention to it.

Close the app. Delete it from your phone. Whatever you’ve got to do, just stop being on there, like, “Oh wow, let Snapchat! I got to see her snaps!” Who cares? You want to see the chocha. You’ve got to make a date.

If she likes you and wants to see you, she’s going to text you. And if you hear from her, say, “Hey, I’d love to see you. What’s your schedule like?” Make a date. If she won’t make a date, withdraw the offer. Say, “Alright. Well, when you figure out your schedule, get in touch. I’ve got to run. Talk to you later,” and then leave.

You either make a definite date, with a definite day, definite time, definite plans to go pick her up and take her out somewhere, and follow the process that’s in “How To Be A 3% Man,” or you can continue to enjoy getting jerked around and being Mr. Nice Guy who gets friendzoned.

It’s like, man, this email makes me want to puke. I think I need to go stick my finger down my throat in the bathroom and barf this up, because this is pretty disgusting and appalling. I understand you’re new, but you’ve got to follow instructions, man. You’re making this way harder on yourself than it needs to be.

It’s obvious this girl was into you, but you just completely fumbled the football and you have no idea that she’s leading you around by the nose. And all this weakness that you’re displaying is causing her to go from, her pussy was a little moist for you, and now it’s drier than the Sahara Desert. So, congratulations.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.

“Men who are desperate for dates, love and romance will usually tolerate all kinds of disrespect, rude behavior and unknowingly invite women to jerk them around. Women love men who will be assertive, stand up to them and call them out on their inappropriate behavior. Men who love and value themselves won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone in their personal or professional life. Respect is not given. It is earned.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

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