
How to figure out why your romantic life is not going the way you expect it to.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer from Zimbabwe who shares how my book and work helped him to finally figure out why his romantic life never turned out the way he wanted it to. He shares several bullet points on what he learned that he was doing wrong that always seemed to lead to his getting jerked around and rejected. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter in the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “I Was Clueless About Dating. Now I Understand Why I Sucked So Much”.
Well, this particular email is from a viewer from Zimbabwe, and he shares how my book 3% Man and my work helped him to finally figure out why his romantic life never seemed to turn out the way he wanted to. And so he’s got a good, detailed email as to what he learned about why his relationships always seem to end the same way, and kept going sideways. And I’m sure a lot of you guys, as you go through this, some light bulbs will go off and you can totally relate because quite frankly, we all do these things or have done these things when we don’t know any better.
Viewer Email:
Dear Corey,
I am writing to you from Zimbabwe, a tiny third-world country in Africa.
Yes, I know where it is. Thank you.
Mine isn’t really a success story or a letter to seek for advice. It’s more of a commentary on your book which has helped me realize where I have gone wrong with women in my relationships. Your work has helped me realize that women are the same everywhere, even if you adjust for cultural differences.
Yep, I coach people on every continent, every country around the world over the last 20 something years.
I have never had a satisfying romantic relationship with any woman that I have dated, including the girl I am currently with now. In every single relationship, things have always started hot and heavy and eventually ended with me pretty much begging for the girl to stay after she has made the decision to dump me. I always saw myself as being unlucky in love and kept thinking that eventually things will work out if I keep at it.

Well, if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will continue to get what you have always got. And so obviously, he got to a place where he realized, man, what I’m doing is not working. I must be screwing something up. And I got to that place in my 20s. I was like, everything kept ending the same way. The girls I really liked would blow me off. And the girls I wasn’t that into were crazy about me. It didn’t make any sense. I was like, am I cursed? It’s like, what the hell? And I didn’t realize at the time that the women I really liked, I acted completely different with. I treated them completely different than the girls I wasn’t that into.
I found one of your videos on my timeline last week when I was busy trying to find advice on how I could turn things around with the girl I am with. However, that video led me to binge watch your content for an entire night on the first day.
I’ve had dudes tell me that they stayed up like three four days in a row just binge watching one video after another.
So many light bulbs went up during that time. I started to see exactly where I had been wrong. I finally took the plunge and got your audiobook, reading it through the night. I studied it more like a textbook and took notes. The following is a list of things that personally hit home for me, because I have violated the principles attached to ever since I started dating. Number one, I did all the calling and texting, never giving them the chance to reach out or invest. This made me come across as needy and chasing.
Yeah, if you over pursue you’ll chase women right out of your life. Because everything you do is just desperation. You didn’t get enough strokes and hugs and I love you’s from mom and dad and you desperately want it. So anytime you want love from a girl and she’s not giving it to the same way your parents didn’t, then you pursue. You try to force yourself upon her or into her life. You call too much, you text too much. You’re impatient. You don’t wait for her to call or text back. You come off as needy and neurotic, especially if you’re getting butthurt and angry that she takes long to get back to you. And some women will do that on purpose just to see if you blow your top. And if you do, poof, you get ghosted. It’s how they weed out the guys that don’t have their shit together from the guys that do.

Number two, I failed to identify if she was structured or not and kept engaging even though she showed signs of being the “you chase me” type.
Number three, I lacked emotional self-control: over-pursued, double/triple-called, begged her to stay, and lashed out in frustration.
Yeah, masculinity is calm. Feminine energy is chaos. And so when you act like that, you’re acting like an emotionally irrational woman.
Number four, I went in with the wrong mindset: focused on “winning her over” instead of evaluating whether she was right for me.
Number five, I had “oneitis” and a scarcity mindset: feared losing her, put her on a pedestal, and made her the center of my life.
Your purpose and mission should be the center, and the woman should be the hot fudge sundae, the cherry on top of your already great life.
Number six, I ignored her actual interest level, preferring blind hope instead of being honest with myself.
So whereas you projected your high interest onto her, and you ignored her low interest in you and proceeded anyway. A lot of us do that and we don’t know better.
Number seven, even I tried to reason my way through the relationship instead of understanding female psychology, often buying into what she said she wanted (flowers, romance, etc.), which didn’t build attraction.
Yeah, it’s all the things that women say they want and what they’re looking for in a guy when you typically do those things. It has no effect, and yet they’ll date the guys that don’t do any of those things and be crazy about them. So in other words, what women think they want and what they actually emotionally respond to are two different things.

My downfall was driven by neediness, lack of emotional control, pedestalizing her, and ignoring reality. I’m now committed to learning and applying your principles correctly so I don’t repeat these mistakes. As for my current relationship, I have decided to just let it die the natural death that was long overdue. I deleted her contacts soon after writing this and have no plans on ever reaching out again. I will be frank and admit that I am too exhausted to implement the advice you’ve given as to how I am supposed to back off and all that.
Well, if she’s not been making any effort, then I just never call or text her again for any reason. If she does reach out, invite her over to make dinner at your place, hang out, have fun, hook up. If she’s just blowing you off and repeatedly not made dates or cancelled, then I wouldn’t even bring it up. I wouldn’t ever make another date with her again unless she brings up getting together because I think he said she’s blowing him off like four times in a row now.
I will just ghost and start afresh elsewhere. The ghosting won’t be much of a problem to her; she has already checked out already so I don’t see her feeling blindsided or pained. She’s cancelled four dates in a row now and only responds to my calls after I ring her up twice or thrice.
Yeah, so if you’re double and triple calling her and she only returns maybe one of your three calls, it’s like you shouldn’t be doing that. Just make no effort. Even if she reaches because she cancelled dates. So like I was just saying a minute ago, I would never ask her out again unless she asked to see you or to get together. If she calls, talk for a few minutes. Oh, hey. Good hearing from you. I’ve got to run, talk to you later. And she texts. You send 2 or 3 texts back and forth and go, hey, I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to you later. I just never bring up getting together again. It just act like if you were, you were bored with her, you’d be polite. But you’re not going to be trying to arrange any get togethers, because, again, she cancelled four times in a row.
From now on, I will take some time off from dating and get my life back in order whilst reading your book before jumping into the dating pool again. Thank you for all the wisdom you share with the clueless amongst us. I wish you all the best in all you do.
Warm regards from Zimbabwe

Well, thanks for writing in. It was a good email and I’m glad that you finally learned this stuff. So the important thing is to keep reading the book and most importantly, to apply it because you need practice. As the great Aristotle said, “excellence is not a singular act. It is a habit. You are what you do repeatedly.” So if you get better by continuing to apply it when you meet somebody you really like and who likes you, you’ll no longer talk, text and chase them out of your life. And then they’ll be talking and texting and chasing you into your bedroom, which is much more fun.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
Get the Book “How To Be A 3% Man”
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. **Free with a new Audible.com membership
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Get the Book “Mastering Yourself”
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. **Free with a new Audible.com membership
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Get the Book “Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations”
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. **Free with a new Audible.com membership
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Paperback | $49.99
Quotes, Ruminations & Contemplations
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: [email protected]
If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:
- Make a donation to my work by clicking here to donate via PayPal anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3... $5... $10... $20... what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
- Referring your friends and family to this website so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
- Purchase a phone/Zoom (audio only) coaching session for yourself or a friend by clicking here. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by clicking here. Get the iBook version for $9.99 from the iBookstore by clicking here. Get the Audio Book for FREE $0.00 with an Audible.com membership by clicking here or buy it for $19.95 at Amazon.com by clicking here. Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by clicking here. That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!
From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur