If She Invites Attention From Other Men When You’re Not Around She Belongs To The Streets

Why she belongs to the streets if she invites romantic attention from other men.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who shares why he broke up with his ex-girlfriend. Over the years he caught her in multiple lies about other men and inviting romantic attention from them.

After he dumped her he regretted it and tried to get her back, but she ghosted and blocked him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer who shares why he broke up with his now ex-girlfriend. Over the years, he caught her in multiple lies, usually about other men. On top of that, she was inviting romantic attention from them.

You can tell if you’re going to be in a relationship with somebody like that, and then you’re constantly confronting them and they just lie through their teeth to your face, you just can’t work with that. That’s a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate. That’s not a girl that you want to have a relationship with, be exclusive, and definitely don’t want to get married to because she’s clearly not capable of loyalty and doesn’t value it just if we base it upon her actions. Lots of guys put up with this kind of shit thinking that it’s going to get better, or if they just have enough control over her and her life and what she’s doing and where she’s going, that she’ll play in the little fenced yard that they create for her, but in reality, she just doesn’t value loyalty. Just look at her actions.

It is a good email to learn from on how to spot that, because ideally you want to spot this stuff early on. You don’t want to keep making excuses, and as the years go by, the same thing happens over and over and over again. Remember, Maya Angelou said, “When somebody tells you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

I’m going through a breakup and wanted to ask your perspective on it.

I broke up with my girlfriend because I didn’t want to waste her most valuable biological years. She’s 32 and I’m 29. I don’t see myself being a parent before 37 or 38…

So almost like 10 years now, and by then she’d be in her early 40s.

…And I thought that might be too late for her. I didn’t want to string her along as I loved her deeply. She constantly said she wanted to build a life with me, get married, and so on— But I felt uneasy.

Well, you got to trust that voice.

The main reason I didn’t truly see her as the woman I could spend my whole life with was because of trust issues. She lied to me about other men. For example, she met up with an ex behind my back— Hung out with him privately, and then met him again the very next day. She told me both times were “coincidences…”

Oh, it’s such a coinky-dink.

…But she had lied about it all.

Well, this is what was modeled for her at home. Lying became a way of life for her. So as an adult, I mean, she’s 32. This is the way she behaves. She ain’t going to change at 32. People typically don’t change who they are. They may become a better version of who they are, but a woman who behaves like this at 32 lies through her teeth to your face, says she wants to marry you, yet she’s meeting exes secretly behind your back, you can’t work with that. Love cannot exist where there is no trust.

None of it was coincidence. I don’t know if more happened, but who knows. When I confronted her and asked her to be accountable, she would deflect, manipulate, cry, and play the victim…

Just like a narcissist would.

…So much so that I ended up apologizing, feeling like I was the one creating drama.

Well, that’s what they do. They gaslight you, and they try to make you think that you’re the problem one. It’s not good to be in a relationship with a chick that’s a narcissist. Women and men, for that matter, they tend to cheat and behave like this, tend to have narcissistic qualities, and they’re just kind of ruthless. That’s just how they operate. When they get caught, they try to turn it around and blame you and everybody else. They can’t take any accountability for anything.

In the end, she never took accountability or apologized for lying.

Why would she apologize when that’s who she is? Plus, you kept putting up with it. So you enabled her behavior. You taught her that she could basically pull the wool over your eyes, and you would keep coming back for more.

Remember, whatever you tolerate, you invite more of. No one will ever do or say anything to you that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment. Most importantly, no one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do. So when you keep excusing this behavior and then you say it’s your fault because she gaslights you, manipulates, cries and plays the victim and you fall for that BS, well then she learns that that works. So every time she gets busted, she’ll just do the same routine because you keep buying the bullshit. That’s not fixable. Especially when she has no accountability.

So if she doesn’t admit an issue, doesn’t admit a problem, doesn’t admit it, lie, well there’s nothing to fix on her end. Especially if you bail her out by apologizing to her.

On another occasion, I saw a text she sent to another man. Someone she told me was just a friend from her past, where she “jokingly” told him she was traveling without underwear.

Yeah, can you imagine being married to somebody like this, and she’s sending texts like this to other dudes? “Oh, I don’t have my underwear with me. I’m traveling without any panties on.” It’s like, “Oh yeah, totally gonna wife this girl up. Oh yeah.”

When I confronted her, she dismissed it, saying, “Oh, that’s just how our friendship is. You’re misinterpreting this. We were just kidding. There was no flirting.”

Sure… The ease with which she lies, but she’s probably hot, so that’s why he kept putting up with it. Unfortunately, that’s why a lot of the hotter girls get away with it, and that’s why they end up in the hot and crazy matrix. It makes sense, because guys like this just put up with this shit for years, so they learn that they can get away with it. They learn that despite the fact they’re supposedly in a relationship, there’s an endless supply of dudes that want to get in their pants and want to get with her.

But the guy was clearly into her, and she was aware of this.

She was inviting it. This is not how a family-oriented girl is going to behave. This is how a chick who belongs to the streets behaves. This is a hoe. You don’t turn a hoe into a housewife.

After each of these incidents she would claim to make amends, like blocking or unfollowing these men (Her ex and this friend). Both incidents were years apart, though, and I can’t help but wonder if she was doing more things I never found out about.

Yeah, because it kept happening. It wasn’t a one-off thing. These were just the ones that you knew about, and if you’re constantly hovering around her and she knows you don’t trust her, then she just becomes better at hiding it and then becomes harder to find out, but you’re never going to feel easy, because in the back of your mind, you’re always going to be sleeping with one eye open. You just can’t trust somebody that behaves this way, just blows sunshine up your ass, lies to your face with such ease and she expects you to buy it because, quite frankly, most men do buy it.

Colleagues of mine told me that when I wasn’t around, she would give off a very flirty vibe— Leaning her head on their shoulder, stretching in a way that made her breasts more pronounced near them, touching their arm, holding eye contact, etc. In essence, they said she came across as flirtatious or as if she were “available.”

So when he’s not around, she behaves like a free agent. Usually the women that come from broken homes where dad wasn’t around or they had a bad relationship with him, this is how they behave, because they never get the love and attention they need from their dad. So when they grow up, they’re just constantly seeking it from any man that will give it to them. They just didn’t learn and there was nobody to teach them right and wrong. Again, this woman’s like 32. This is who she is. She ain’t changing over time.

Over time, trust eroded. Even though she constantly told me I was the love of her life and that she wanted to build a life with me.

Well, that’s nice, and it’s great on a Hallmark card, but in reality, the same issue just kept coming up. She says one thing, but then she does another. She tells you that you’re the love of her life and then she flirts with other guys. So she’s clearly manipulating and telling you what you want to hear.

All of this, combined with the age factor, led me to break up with her.

Well, good for you, dude. You finally did it!

I regretted it afterward and reached out to see if we could talk and maybe fix things, but she ghosted me and eventually blocked me.

Yeah see, this is what happens. He got gaslit for so many years and most guys, because I’ve talked about this with the girls in the podcast when we’re doing viewer questions on the live streams, and most of the time the guy breaks up with the girl, he thinks he’s gonna find somebody better, and within 90 days, when it doesn’t happen, he freaks out and wants to go back, even if it’s not good for him, like in this case. So he didn’t find anybody right away and he thought, “Oh well, maybe it’s my fault. Maybe I overreacted.” Maybe these were isolated incidents, but they kept happening.

I’d love your honest perspective on this situation.

Well, she belongs to the streets, dude. You ain’t gonna fix that.

Does she belong to the streets?

Yes, absolutely.

Are these kinds of actions normal…

Well, they’re normal for girls that come from broken homes, yes. They’re not normal from girls that come from good homes where they love and respect their dad, their mother, their parents and their parents have a good, healthy, monogamous, loyal relationship. This clearly was not what was modeled for her.

…Or am I being too rigid here?

No, you did the right thing, dude. As Wayne Dyer used to say, “When you trust in yourself, you’re trusting in the same wisdom that created you.”

She seemed so committed, and was chasing me all the time. So why did she act like this?

Thanks,

Bob

Because she was a fucking hoe, that’s why. She’s just not loyal. It’s not part of her value system. It sounds like for the most part, you were doing a lot of things to keep her attracted to you, but I say it in the book and I’ve said it countless times over the years, you could be the best boyfriend in the world, but if you’re with somebody that’s disloyal and doesn’t value it, this is just how they’re going to behave, especially when you’re not around. This is not a fixable thing because number one, she won’t admit to any infractions. She just basically blames it all on you and says it’s your fault and she didn’t do anything wrong. “You’re overreacting. Oh, this is just how our friendship is. We’re just like that.” It’s like, no. No self-respecting man wants his girlfriend or wife that they’re in a long-term relationship with telling other men that are trying to get into her pants. Oh, hey, I don’t have any panties on today.” That’s like the town bicycle. Everybody gets to ride her. So that’s just the way she is. It was the value system that was modeled at home.

So good for you for at least having the balls to walk away, but you definitely shouldn’t have gone back to her and tried to fix it, because now she’s ghosted you, and that’s just more of the behavior trying to make you think that you’re the one that fucked up when in reality it was her. So probably once you broke up with her, she just went and got with one of these other guys and was more involved with him because by the time you finally tapped out, she already had one foot out the door, because probably by that point you weren’t even putting your best foot forward anymore. You would kind of given up because these things just kept happening over and over and over again. You should have tapped out a long time ago. You shouldn’t have gone on as long as you did, but at least you got clear of this bitch.

So if she’s ghosted and blocked you, I would block her back so she can’t get in touch, and I would be applying the book and reading it so you can meet some new ladies, get some other choices and some other options, because what happened here is you were dating a girl who was for fun and fucking, but not relationship material. You can’t confuse the two. You can’t turn the hoe into a housewife. It’s just not going to work.

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