If She’s Always Busy & Scheduling Dates Is Difficult, She Has Low Interest

Women who like you make it easy to see them & women who don’t are difficult.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is trying to date a woman who works in healthcare. He’s ignoring the fact trying to make a date with her is a pain. She takes days or even a week to get back with him when he asks her out and she’s always talking about how busy she is and has things going on.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer who is trying to date a woman. She works in healthcare, and he’s kind of ignoring the fact that every time he tries to make a date with her, it’s just a royal pain in the butt. She is always, “Oh, I don’t know. My schedule. Work is crazy. I’m busy.” So she often takes three days to get back to him, sometimes a week when he’s like, “All right, figure out your schedule and get back to me.” So he’s just not seeing her very often. When you look at it and take a step back, it just looks like a bi-monthly or tri-monthly booty call.

So this is what happens when you only pay attention to your interest and effort, and you ignore the woman’s low interest and effort, because you should want to be with somebody that’s excited to see you, who’s enthusiastic, who is not sitting on the fence or can’t make up her mind, or is unsure of her schedule. She’s excited when you call or you text her. She makes a date, you hang out, you have fun, you hook up, but when somebody just can’t ever find the time, then it just means that their interest is low and it looks like she’s just kind of treating him like a booty call.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Good morning Coach,

I’ve become familiar with your work over the past few months, thanks to a friend. I’m on my second read, and I’m watching videos daily. I’m planning to get the audio-book so I can read and listen at the same time, as you recommend.

Well, if you’re new and you haven’t read 3% Man yet, you can just subscribe to the email newsletter on my website. It’s totally free. Put your name, your email, create a password and the book will open up right in your web browser. If you really want to get this stuff into your brain as quickly as possible, as efficiently with minimal distractions, getting an audio-book and then putting the audio-book on two-speed while you’re looking at a physical or a digital copy of the book, so you’re seeing the words as they’re being spoken, and you’re hearing the words as they’re being spoken.

If you’ve got Audible and Kindle, then there’s a whisper sync feature which literally highlights the words on Kindle as you’re going through it. So that really forces your brain to focus on the material so you can get through the 10 to 15 reads, get to the point where you know the book backwards and forwards that you could teach a class on it. That’ll make things really easy and effortless from understanding a wisdom standpoint.

A little about myself: I’m a 25-year-old man, and I’m relatively successful in my field, working for top international news organizations since my late teens, even while studying for my degree. I’ve been fortunate, but also hardworking, and a lot of that I attribute to my grandfather, who has been a strong male role model in my life and has been my accurate father figure in my father’s lifelong absence.

Well, that’s important. You got somebody, in your case, you got a grandfather. A lot of people that don’t have anything and, quite frankly ,screws them up. We all need mentors, people to hold our hand when we’re young and show us what needs to be done and the right way to do it.

Still, with more recent adult relationships, I’ve now realized that I overlooked things I shouldn’t have and paid the price, which led me to your work thanks to a friend’s advice. I’d say I’m well above average in terms of appearance, and I receive more than my fair share of attention — But I still lack in certain areas, such as vetting.

I met a girl a couple of months ago who is four years older than I am. Intelligent, beautiful, and funny. Every time we go out, we have a great time, and I enjoy keeping the plans a surprise. I tell her a time, a place, and how to dress for the occasion, and nothing more. After each outing, she tells me how much fun she had. 

Well that’s good. At least she’s having a good time. That’s what matters. Hang out, have fun and hook up, because if she likes you, likes having a good time with you, enjoys having sex, even if she’s busy, she’ll make time for you. One thing I want to say that kind of jumps out at me is that she’s working in healthcare and nurses, doctors, that’s one of like the top five jobs that women have, and men for that matter, where there’s a lot of cheating. So that’s something to keep in mind.

So usually in most hospitals, there’s a place or room in the hospital where everybody who’s hooking up goes to hook up, cheat on their significant other or whatever. So just keep that in mind if you’re going to date somebody in healthcare. That’s one of the top five careers where women cheat that leads ultimately to divorce and breakups.

One of our dates, I took her to my favorite football team’s games. Clearly, on the night, they got too shy with her there and got played off the park. I was burning inside as a lifelong, suffering fan — But we both had fun and she really enjoyed the experience. 

Well, I grew up a Miami Dolphins fan. They haven’t been back to Super Bowl since I was in high school, which was like, what was it, 84, 85 I think was the last time they went? Dan Marino’s first year on the team and you think, “Oh man, these guys are great! They’ll be back there next year.” They never win again. I don’t think they’ve been in the playoffs in a long time. They haven’t won a playoff game in like 20 years. So I feel your pain. We in South Florida, we feel your pain. We see it every day. However they’re doing well right now. After just a month or so ago, everybody’s like, “Ah, coach is getting fired.” Everybody’s getting fired. They did fire the GM, so they’re doing better. It’s always fun. Winning solves a lot of problems.

However, due to her schedule, which includes nights, as she works for the health service, we only see each other once every one to two weeks.

Yeah, it’s a booty call.

I only use the phone to set dates, which, early on, caused some confusion on her part, as she took it  as I wasn’t interested after having had good dates. However, she now understands.

Well, as you date, under normal circumstances she should start reaching out, calling you, texting you and maybe one official date per week, but the rest of the time she should be just coming over, you’re going over to her place, that kind of thing. Again, if she kind of keeps you at arm’s length and only sees you every one or two weeks, that’s really just a booty call, but obviously the sex is good because she keeps coming back for more.

So probably I would look at her as just somebody to have in the rotation while you continue to find somebody who is more available, easier going, easier to get along with, and who has enthusiasm for hanging out with you. It just looks like she’s not super into you, but she likes the sex. She’d probably say, “It’s good dick,” and that’s why she sticks around.

When I reach out, if she’s busy, I leave the ball in her court to let her know when she’s free and get off the phone. Each time, she has eventually gotten back to me within days or a week at most.

Yeah again, it’s like she could come by and stay the night if she wanted to. It just looks like when she’s available, she’s down to bang. Other than that, she’s busy doing her things. Maybe banging one of the doctors who’s married at the hospital. I mean, who knows? A lot of crazy things happen in hospitals. Just ask people that work in healthcare.

The most recent time, she explained that she had a busy Christmas schedule with work, friends, and family, but gave me the choice of two days, and I took the latter.

“Work is crazy. Work is busy.”

The day would be a week from when the email is sent. However, today she realized that she messed up her schedule and that friends from South Africa will be in our city that day. She offered to “Link after if you want,” or another day after she dropped her family off at the airport. This would be date six or seven, and we have been intimate before this point just for context.

You can just tell she’s just not really willing to accommodate you. If you’ve been dating a month-and-a-half, her interest just seems like it’s kind of flat. It’s not like really going up.

My main question is whether this is a good situation to do a takeaway, reschedule, and leave the ball in her court, as I have done before?

Well, I would keep doing what you’re doing. I mean, the idea is you’re supposed to make a definite date, definite time, definite place. You don’t accept maybe dates or leave things up in the air, but if she’s like, “Hey, I’ll come by later,” for like a booty call basically, and then you got a date set up in the future, I’d say, “Yeah, come on by.” It doesn’t have to always be an official date. It could be just her coming over after her shift is over and spending the night.

As you teach: Easy going, easy to get along with – And the messing up the schedule and trying to squeeze things in after plans she already has doesn’t work for me. 

Well again, if you’re already home doing nothing say, “Yeah if you want to come by later, if it’s not too late, just hit me up. If I’m still up, you can come on over.”

If I’m going to make time for someone and put effort into plans, I’d rather not feel like I’m eating leftovers.

Well again, this is why you should have other girls that you’re dating, because if you take a step back and you look at it, she’s just not really willing to make time. If some friends are coming in town, she’s like, “Oh, I can’t make it, but maybe I’ll come by later,” kind of thing, it just looks like, at least in her mind, it’s just kind of a casual booty call. Nothing really serious.

I’d like to think I’ve remained unperturbed thus far, but I’d appreciate some feedback on how I handled the latest situation. I’ve attached the text exchange below.

Which I’m not going to go into it. There’s nothing super important in there.

Keep up the great work, Coach. It’s really helped me start to notice patterns in my life, and it’s helped me get into the mindset that I, and I alone, am the master of my future successes as well as identifying and navigating shortcomings in all aspects of my life. 

I wish you, your friends, and family a happy holiday season and a happy New Year, and I look forward to continuing to enjoy your great work in 2026 and beyond. 

Bob

So what I would do if I were you, you got to be realistic and look at you clearly would like to spend more time with somebody. Her schedule and her actions show that if she’s got nothing else going on, she’s down to hook up. Other than that, friends, family, other things going on there are the priority, and you’re just simply not. So if she ever texts you, like, 8:00 or 9:00, “What are you doing?” Just say, “Come over.” If you already have a date set up a week or two in advance and she’s like, “Well, I could come by after my friends,” just say, “Well, text me. If it’s not too late and I’m still up, you can come over.” That’s how I would leave it with that.

In the meantime, I’d be dating other women and just look at her as like a girl in your practice squad because she’s not really doing anything. I mean, especially when a girl waits three days to a week to get back to you when she’s available, that’s just low interest. That’s the bottom line. It’s important to not just look at the fact how much you like her, you want to date her, and you want to see her more. You got to look at the fact, what’s she actually doing? Which is not much. It’s like if she could squeeze you in, she’s down for a booty call. Other than that, she’s got a busy life. So you’re clearly not a priority.

That’s why, again, she’s just a rotation girl or a practice squad girl until you find a woman who just fits right into your life like a glove, because you deserve better and you can do better. Quite frankly, you got the book. Again, remember healthcare, one of the top five careers that women take that lead to divorce because they cheat. That’s something to think about.

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