If You Hesitate When She’s Down To Bang, She’ll Leave With Another Guy

Why you shouldn’t hesitate when you meet a woman who’s down to bang or she’ll choose another guy.

In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who says he ran into a childhood friend of his. While they were hanging out and he was flirting with her, she told him she always had a crush on him. They made out for the rest of the afternoon and then went to a friend’s birthday party together. He let her come and go as she pleased at the party. Later on, he saw her making out with another guy and shortly after she left with that guy. He was so shocked and upset that he blocked her on everything. He asks what just happened to him. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “If You Hesitate When She’s Down To Bang, She’ll Leave With Another Guy.

Well, this particular email, it’s a fairly short one. This particular guy, I assume he’s young. He’s got to be in his 20’s, I would think. And so, he reconnects with a female childhood friend of his. And so, they start hanging out and he says, you know, a little flirty banter. And he says, she reveals that she always had a crush on him. And he’s like, I hadn’t seen her in six months. So, I’m assuming he’s probably early 20’s, maybe, maybe even a little bit younger.

And so, they hang out. And he’s like, oh, she was glued to my face for the couple of hours that they were hanging out. And he’s like, she’s barely letting me catch my breath. But he doesn’t go all the way. And so, his best friend’s birthday party is that afternoon. So, they leave and then go to this party. And then he’s hanging out. She’s kind of coming and going as she pleases.

And then next thing he notices is that this girl that he spent the whole afternoon with, sucking face with, is now sucking face with another guy. On top of that, she leaves with him. He’s like, “What the hell? Was I too cold? Should I have gone for it? What happened?” And so, obviously looking at this, and knowing women like I do, it’s; we’re not even at the point where you can even judge this woman’s character.

But, if she was like wholesome and family oriented, and like, “I always had a crush on you, I’m so glad we have this opportunity.” This would have not happened. But, if she was just horny, maybe she broke up with somebody. Maybe she just was, she’s down to bang. And if you hesitate, you’re going to masturbate. And so, in this particular case, she’s down to hook up. It reminds me of; gave me gave me flashbacks.

I was like, I think 19 at the time. So, I went up to University of Florida with a bunch of friends of mine. And there’s probably 10, 12 of us. It was like half girls, half guys, and we were going to stay with another girl that she graduated a year ahead of me. She was a cheerleader; she was really beautiful. And so, there’s like ten of us sleeping at her dorm at University of Florida, kind of on the floor and everywhere.

And she had 2 or 3 roommates, and one of her roommates was really hot. And I could tell at the time, as you know, as little as I knew, or understood back then, I was still in the Disney Fantasy. I’m going to find the perfect girl. We’re going to live happily ever after. And so, she’s staring at me, and talking to me. And, you know, we’re hanging out and I’m thinking, “There’s all these people, what am I going to do?”

And, uh, so I’m just figuring, “Hey, this is great.” By the time I leave after the weekend because this is like, you know, Homecoming weekend, it’s called Gator Growl. And I was like, I’ll get her number, no big deal. And so, she’s hanging out. And I think we went to bars. We went to some parties. My friend was in a sorority, so we hung out there.

There was a big party going on, girls everywhere, guys everywhere, people hooking up. And so, one of my friends who’s with us later in that evening, I noticed that she’s talking to him, and next thing I know, she’s making out with him, I’m thinking, “What the hell?” I can’t remember if they hooked up or not because again, there was everybody’s in the living room, sleeping on sleeping bags and stuff like that.

And I just remember I was just thinking, I was shocked, I was crushed. Felt like kind of like an idiot. And my buddy was a year older, and he knew way more than I did. And uh, so anyways, he gets the girl because he doesn’t hesitate. Me, I was young, inexperienced. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, thinking, “Oh, this is going to be my girlfriend in the future. We’re going to live happily ever after.”

But the reality is it’s Gator Growl weekend. She’s like 18, 19 years old, away at College, away from her parents for the first time. And she’s down to fuck. She wants to hook up and she liked me, but I didn’t know what I was doing. And so, my buddy who did know what he was doing, good looking guy. He had a real hot sister.

And, um, what’s funny is now he’s fat and bald. But you know, back then he had game, he knew what he was doing. It just cracks me up. All these years later when I read this email, it reminded me of that. That was just one particular instance. And so, with that story in mind, let’s go through this guy’s email.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

I don’t think I can ever heap enough praise on 3% Man and emphasize my undying gratitude, your wisdom has changed my life for the better in ways I never thought possible. Today, I’ve got a rather funny & messed up situation for you.

Well, it’s like no matter what you guys are emailing to me, it’s like, I’ve probably already been through it, and have done worse. So, you shouldn’t feel bad.

This past weekend I reconnected with a childhood friend of mine after not seeing her for about 6 months. It didn’t take much flirty banter before she admitted to having a crush on me since we were little kids. I was already working my way in this direction so it was no trouble to tip her chin up and give her a kiss.

Hang out. Have fun. Hook up.

She spent the rest of the afternoon glued to my lips, barely letting me catch my breath until we had to leave for my best friend’s birthday party.

So, you could have escalated it. It’s like, she was right there for whatever reason. Maybe you were Mr. White Knight. Maybe you were just thinking, “Man, I can’t believe how well this stuff is working.” It was like what I experienced when I was 19 with my buddy. It’s like, I didn’t really do anything. This girl was bumping into me.

I didn’t understand any of that shit meant at the time, but it was very visceral for me because it stung. Next thing I know, my friend who we all came down with, we were in the same car. He’s the one making out with this girl that I was thinking, “I was going to be making the moves on.” Just because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.

He was more prepared, and she was down to fuck. And I can’t remember what ever happened with that. Next time I see him, I’ll have to ask him about that story. It probably doesn’t even remember it. He cleaned up in High School. He knew what he was doing. Unlike yours truly.

At the party I let her come and go as she pleased, alternating between meeting my friends and coworkers and cuddling back up to me.

Yeah, it’s like she’s cuddling on him and everything.

Two hours in and she started making out with a random guy and left with him. What on Earth just happened to me?

You hesitated. So, you get to masturbate. Meanwhile, she goes home with Chad Thunder Cock, who knew what he was doing. Just like my High School buddy, who’s a very successful guy. Cool dude. But he’s fat and bald and he’s envious of me at this point. It’s kind of funny how life comes full circle.

Alcohol wasn’t involved. I’ve always known her to be a conservative girl.

Well, I did go to a Catholic High School, and a lot of these girls that we were all with, they all went to the same school. And when their parents weren’t around… And again, these were the most popular, attractive people in school. Came from good families. But what did I know? So young and naive back then.

You shouldn’t project your morality onto the other person, you should just take them as they come; take them. In other words, you’re going to escalate as far as they’ll let you go. I didn’t know at the time, but I know now because I can look back on stuff like that and go, “Oh, I know exactly where I screwed up.” That’s the catch 22 of learning.

The stuff that’s in The Book is that especially for you guys that are brand new to My Work, you start going through it and you’re like, “Ah!” You remember all those moments like that. It’s like, “Man, so many missed opportunities.” I remember even like a year before that, we were on our senior class cruise, and there were so many girls that were down to hook up, and I just had no idea. I was looking for the one.

Girls would hang out with me for like half the day, they would hold my hand, get all touchy feely, and I wouldn’t do anything. Meanwhile, my friends are going back to their cabins and, that’s life. But what’s cool is when especially younger guys, when you learn My Book, it’s like you don’t make those same mistakes. You get to enjoy the things that I missed out on because I just didn’t know. That’s our job, it’s to pass it on to the next generation, so you guys can do better.

And I can’t believe she could have hidden her true character for this many years.

I did a Video; it was a Video on Body Count last week. People freaked the fuck out on that one man. The insults and the knives came out on that. The incels were big, big, big mad. You know, it is, it’s like the vibe of, “I didn’t get picked. Nobody picked me for basketball. I was always the last one. I was always the last one to get picked for football. I was always the last one to get picked by the girls.”

That’s the guys that have that attitude that never got picked. That never got chosen. If I didn’t know what I know now, I would have had the same attitude. But you can see how guys get jaded and upset and pissed off. Especially when you know, because they all have this idea, this fantasy, they’re still addicted to the Disney fantasy. “

Oh, I get this virgin. And it’s like it’s going to it’s going to solve all my problems. If I just marry a girl with a low body count, or I date a girl with a low body count, that’ll just fix everything.” It’s like, there were girls that were saving themselves. Like for me, finally when I was 21, I was like, “That’s it.” It’s like, I’m all my friends are busting my balls because I was waiting for the one. And finally, I just I lost my virginity on spring break in Daytona. Drunken episode.

Did I mess up by not pushing things further when we were alone earlier that afternoon?

Yeah. Hang out, have fun, hook up. You were hanging out and having fun. The hook up was starting, and then you didn’t do anything. And she was down to fuck. Maybe there was a guy that broke her heart, and she’s on the rebound. It doesn’t really matter. The bottom line is she was at your place, and you could have seduced her, but you didn’t. Yeah, that’s just one example.

The one when I was 19, I can think of that. And there were other times in my early 20’s there were similar things that happened. It’s just because I didn’t escalate things quick enough. Because again, you’re dealing with younger women, especially that mom and dad are out of the picture for the first time. They can really get their freak on, especially if they’ve been kind of sexually repressed by mom and dad being overbearing all the time.

People are freaks. What are you going to do? These guys, these Red Pill Guys, they think that, “Oh, women just discovered sex and that they like having it.” It’s like, “Oh. More like hypergamy. Women like to date up.” Oh, that’s a real earth-shattering thing to discover. They turn it into a religion.

Should I have been less aloof with her at the party? Or is this just a bad apple?

Well, I wouldn’t say it’s a bad apple. Obviously, what she told you about having a crush on you probably was accurate. But she was down to fuck. And you basically communicated that you were incompetent, you didn’t know what was going on, or what you were doing. You should have just escalated it and hung out and had fun and hooked up. But it was a missed opportunity, Padawan. And that’s on you. But hey, you live and learn.

There will be other guys that are going to be watching this, and they’ll be in the same situation down the road, and they’ll go, “Aha! I remember what happened to the Coach and that emailer. I don’t want to be like that guy.” If you hesitate, you will masturbate.

This one probably doesn’t require a newsletter. She’s already blocked and out of my life – but I would like to hear your perspective.

Best,

Bob

Well, it does kind of make you look like a chump if you show up with a girl and then that girl leaves with another guy. And in all fairness, I’ve been that other guy. I remember in my early 20’s, I was probably 20 actually, about 24 at this time. I remember this particular story because like my brother, one of my brother’s friends in his class, he was three years younger than me.

He shows up and he’s got like these three hot girls with him. And one of them just starts eye fucking me, and I just kind of screwed up with a girl I really liked. So I was in a total, I don’t give a fuck kind of attitude, which was the perfect kind of attitude. And we start talking and he introduces me to this girl. I can still see her face to this day, all these years later. It was like 30 years ago.

This memory was 30 years ago. That was around May, almost exactly 30 years ago this happened. So, we’re in this bar. He shows up, we start shooting the shit. He introduces me to all three of the girls. And this one blonde, she was just really just gorgeous. And I could tell she was into me. And I was stinging so bad from, you know, this situation, I totally fucked up with this other girl, you know, I was hesitating. She was down to fuck, and hook up, and ready to get things going on.

And we’re like, we’ve been out on several dates, and I hadn’t even kissed her yet. And meanwhile she runs into an older guy and started dating him. Actually, ended up, I think, marrying that guy, because he knew what he was doing. And I just still didn’t have my game tight. But in this particular moment, at this story, this juncture in this bar, it’s like within 2 or 3 minutes, we just started making out.

And so, you know, I remember thinking about at the time, I thought back to my other buddy, like when I was 19, it was like, “Pfft.” Now it’s a flip-side five years later, and now I was the other dude kissing, and basically taking one of the girls who was with this guy. I don’t think he was very appreciative of that. But at the end of the day, if you hesitate, you will masturbate. So, you know, even when I was real young, and all that, you know, even despite the fact that that happened, I was making out with that girl.

I didn’t understand what I did at the time. I just like I can look back on it now and not give a shit, or understand why not giving a shit and how well that worked. But at the time it was, I just did everything naturally because I was so upset about this other girl, and she was on my mind. And here’s this girl, eye fucking me basically. I just took her, I claimed her, if you will. And she was down. But like even after that, things like that would happen years later when I wasn’t in that same mindset, and I would blow it.

Just because again, I hadn’t connected enough of the dots yet. But I mean, this is how you learn, Man. You get burned. It’s all’s fair in love and war, especially when you’re a novice. And these things are going to happen. So, the more you know, the better you’re going to do. So next time you’re in this situation, you should definitely hook up with her. But it’s clear she doesn’t give a shit about you. She doesn’t care how you feel. She’s just kind of ruthless like that.

So, I wouldn’t have blocked her everywhere. It doesn’t mean you couldn’t have hooked up with her. You know, because like some guys would, would still like to have hooked up with a girl, but dating her after she did that? I mean, that’s not something; because especially you’re at your best friend’s birthday party and the girl you show up with ends up leaving with another guy, and then you’re going to show up a few months later dating her? Because you look like a chump at that particular juncture.

So, even though she said she always had a crush on you, she was just looking to hook up. There was no morality in it. It’s just she wanted to fuck. Plain and simple. And it was a missed opportunity on your part. So hey, you live, and you learn, Man. On to the next.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page of my website, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.