If You Pay Her To Hang Out & Sleep With You, She’s Not Your Girlfriend. She’s An Employee.

Why dating and sleeping with women from Seeking Arrangement is not how to find a girlfriend.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who was seeing a girl he met on Seeking Arrangement. He was giving her an “allowance” of $1,000-$1,500 per week. His business started to struggle and he reduced her “allowance” to $500 per week. He told her he wanted a relationship based upon love. She got upset and ghosted him. He realized he never met her family and didn’t really know her. It’s been a month and he still hasn’t heard back from her. I give him a reality check.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be, “If You Pay Her To Hang Out & Sleep With You, She’s Not Your Girlfriend, She’s An Employee.”

I was going to say a different word for that, but obviously some of these social media platforms I can’t put in there what I really want to say, because I don’t want to get demonetized. But we all know what it means. So, this particular email is from a guy that met a girl on Seeking Arrangements. And he gave her an “allowance” of $1000 to $1500 per week. And so, what’s interesting is after I don’t know how long he was seeing her for, but his business started to struggle.

And he’s like, “I got to cut your allowance down to $500 a week. But, you know, hey, we’re all about love and family. It’s a great relationship. I want you to be with me not because of the money, but because you love me.” And she’s like basically ghosted him. He’s like, “Oh, what’s going on here? I can’t believe this. Coach. It doesn’t make any sense.”

So, you know, I’m sure some of you guys are going to find this amusing. Sometimes I do phone sessions with guys like this. They meet a girl on a Seeking Arrangements type of website, which is, they’re Hookers. I mean, come on, they’re Hookers. And most of those girls, are girls that come from broken homes. They got no dad in their lives, and they’re just, they’re in survival mode. And they’re typically pissed off at men, and they look at men as a cash register.

They have the mentality of a Stripper. “I’ll give you a lap dance. If you pay me. I’ll go on a date with you if you pay me. I’ll have sex with you if you pay me.” That’s their attitude. And so, when you go on to a website like that, and then you think you’re going to turn your Hooker into your Housewife, you’re going to turn a hoe into a Housewife. That’s just delusional thinking.

Maybe one out of 10,000 turns into a little happily ever after. But the overwhelming majority of them. That’s why you see these, especially the Red Pill Podcast. And that’s all they have, is these OnlyFans girls, and girls from Seeking Arrangements, or Strippers, or Sex Workers on there, and they’re trying to convince all guys that watch this shit, that, “Oh this is modern women, this is the dating pool.”

It’s like, yeah, if you’ve got no social life and no social circle, and you’re too afraid to talk to women out in the real world, and you’re only way to meet new women is on a Dating App. Unfortunately, what you’re going to see is a lot of the women that are on Dating Apps is they’re Hookers. And that’s the regular Dating Apps. I saw that probably going back five, six, seven years ago, when I was living in South Beach.

I was like, “Wow, this is really weird.” Is that, it went from just being a great Dating App, to now there’s all these Sex Workers on there. These really pretty girls that come from broken homes, and you look at some of their pictures and you go, “That kind of looks like a Strip Club.” I was like, “Huh, she must be a Stripper.” And then, you know, you see stuff like this, you get a message, “Oh, this is what I’m looking for $1000, $2000, $3000 a week. If you want to spend more time together, you know, we can talk about that.”

And the women phrase it as like, “You’re investing in me.” Like in essence, “I’m investing in a business. You’re going to mentor me and help me.” I was like, “What? This is a Dating App. The fuck are you doing on here?” You know, that’s another reason why, you know, I stopped messing with them a long time ago because I’ve always done better in person.

It’s like, if you’re a social person, it’s like, especially, you know, my buddies and I, when we go out, it’s like, one of my good friends was in town a few weeks ago and we just went out to have a few beers and to eat and shoot the shit and catch up. Because we’ve known each other for almost 40 years now at this point, and within like ten minutes, we know like ten people at the bar around us, and we’re just having these interesting conversations.

I was talking to this older couple that was sitting next to us. And he’s retired, but he’s an Attorney and he works with Veterans and helping them get their like benefits. If they’re struggling, because there’s stuff they can get. And what’s interesting, we started talking about guns, and he says the big thing all these guys are scared of is that they don’t want to go to the VA and get antidepressants or mental health or anything, because it’s like, “I don’t want my guns taken away.”

And so, it was really interesting because it’s like one of the things that he struggles with is like, he spends a lot of time with these guys convincing them what there’s all this, this information that’s out there, and plus there’s all these programs and resources where they can get medical help. And these guys, a lot of them are just willing to forgo any kind of medical help, and struggle, because they don’t want to give up their weapons. I find that interesting.

But it’s like, you know, when you go out, and you can just strike up a conversation with them, and there’s, you know, so we’re talking old people, we’re talking to younger girls. There’s a whole group of people that are just talking and sharing and having a good time together. It’s like, if you can go out and do that and be the life of the party and just be sincerely interested in the people that are around you and next to you. It’s like meeting women is not hard. Meeting other human beings, and making friends is not hard. But you have to get off your couch. So back to our regularly scheduled email. I hope you enjoyed the little diatribe.

Viewer’s Email:

Hi Coach,

I appreciate all that you do to men. I have a situation I’d like your input on. I’ve been seeing this girl for almost two years now, and I feel like she’s pulling away from me and it’s really driving me crazy. She is 25 and I’m 41. I met her on a dating app called Seeking Arrangement. She was smoking hot and wanted her so bad.

So again, Seeking Arrangement is basically, “I’ll spend time with you, have sex with you, if you pay me money.” That’s what the website is for. That’s it. And if you’ve seen any of the commercials, it’s older, successful guys, that have money, can basically hang out with all these hot college coeds. Because they like the lifestyle, and the fun, and all the things that they can do with them. So, it’s like, you know, in essence, kind of like a legal way, a legal prostitution, if you will.

I don’t know how legal that is depending on the state, but, that’s what it is. You’re dating Hookers. If you’re on Seeking Arrangement, you’re dating Hookers. Plain and simple. Call it whatever you like, but you’re dating a Hooker. The woman is willing to trade her time, and her body, for cash. She’s a Hooker. She’s a sex worker. And so, if you run into problems, and you date somebody like that, you know, again, that’s why all those Red Pill Podcasts are they do so well, because it’s entertaining.

It’s like Jerry Springer type of entertainment, but it’s not really representing the dating pool. But then again, if guys are only online because they’re socially weird or socially awkward and they don’t go out in the real world and meet people, they can’t just walk into a bar or a restaurant or any kind of venue, and within five minutes be talking to 10 or 15 different people and have everybody included in the conversation. You’ve got to develop your social skills.

And if you’re only going to rely on online dating, you got to remember, it’s like, the really beautiful, family oriented girls, that have an active social life, it’s like, they don’t need to be on a dating app. They’re constantly meeting guys just by living their life, and hanging out with their friends and their family, and what they do socially. But when they come from broken homes, or don’t have a lot of friends, or can’t make friends, or they got issues, yeah, they’re going to be in a dating app also.

And so, there’s just a higher incidence of people that are fucked up on the apps. Doesn’t mean you can’t find anybody good on there. But statistically, especially the stuff that I saw going back several years ago, when I see these things in the emails, guys, it’s strictly rely on online dating. It’s they’re trying to make up for the fact that they’re weird, or they’re socially awkward in person.

And at the end of the day, you’re going to meet somebody online, you’re going to have to be able to converse with them in person. And so, you got to learn to be a social animal, a social human being, go meet other people. But, you know, like, in this case, this guy is just hot for a body, and he’s willing to part with his money.

She said, “I want a man who can protect me and provide for me since this is what the gender roles should be.”

So, since we’ve been seeing each other, I’ve been giving her an allowance $1000 – $1500 every week so she can feel supported and taken cared for. This has been going on for 2 years now. 

So you’re spending, what, 50 to 70 grand? 50 to 80 grand a year for this girl? Because that’s the allowance. And if you go out on dates and stuff, then obviously whatever that costs. Unless she’s just coming over, hooking up and then leaving. But you’re hanging out with a hooker. You’re not dating her. You’re fucking a Hooker, Bro.

Just recently we got into an argument because my business was not doing well. And I told her I may need to reduce her allowance a little bit to $500 a week and she got mad and said that was unfair. We got into a big fight, and she started to pull away from me. I still Venmo her $500 a week but she’s still not talking to me. 

So now you’re, you know, you’re sending $500 a week, which is about $2000 a month. $2100 a month $2200. Figure, 4.3 weeks in a month, and you’re getting nothing. So, the hooker is not willing to spend time with you because you’re not paying her enough. And on top of that, she’s ignoring you.

I started looking for a solution online and found your videos. I now realize I’ve been living an illusion and somewhat under her spell for 2 years. When I tried to ask her to come back to me, she said in order for her to even consider.

This is. This is perfect. This just shows, this. She’s a stripper, Hooker. Listen to this statement.

When I tried to ask her to come back to me, she said in order for her to even consider another relationship in her life she wants double allowance of what she is currently making in her new job because she now has a good job and does not need a man.

In other words, she just doesn’t need you and she doesn’t like you enough to want to hang out with you unless you’re paying her $1000 or $1500 a month. That’s what she really means. So, she’s not hanging out with you because she’s super attracted to you and you’re the love of her life.

She’s hanging out with you strictly because it’s a business transaction. Simple as that. You stop paying her fee. She said, screw you. And on top of that, now she’s like, it’s $2000 a week. She wants to. I don’t know what she’s making in her job, so. You know, it just sounds like you got to find a cheaper hooker at this point.

I told her that I want to restart and build a better foundation this time around and base the relationship on love and not money.

Dude, it’s always been based on money, because she’s on seeking arrangement. That’s what it’s for. That’s the whole thing.

Last time we texted and I told her I won’t give her that kind of amount because that’s something I would only do to a wife and that I realized she hasn’t even introduced me to her family yet.

Because you’re one of her johns, you’re one of the guys she’s having sex with for money.

Which was something I never brought up because I wanted her to take that initiative in the past and that I feel like she’s just taking advantage of me.

It’s just business, Dude. Nothing personal.

But I’d love to see her in person so we can talk about this. She said she will always love me.

She doesn’t. She loved your money.

But realized that she’s young and knows her value.

In other words. Unless you’re willing to pay double what she was making before. She doesn’t like you enough to want to spend time with you. This girl’s not into you, Bro. Just not. Trying to date women from Seeking Arrangement, trying to turn the hoe into your girlfriend. It’s like. Come on.

It’s been 4 weeks now and she still hasn’t responded.

Yeah. It’s like you were at an impasse. She doesn’t care about you. She cares about the money she was getting. You were unwilling to pay her fee. And so, she left. She fired you as a client. And now she’s given up the pussy to whoever else she’s giving it up to.

It’s really killing me inside to know the kind of fuck up I’ve been doing.

Well, you should have never been on Seeking Arrangement to begin with, if you were looking for a girlfriend. It’s delusional of men with money to think, “Oh, if I pay this girl to hang out with me enough, she’ll see what a great guy I am. And then eventually, I just won’t have to pay her anymore.” That very, very, rarely, ever happens. Again. You’re hooking up with girls from broken homes. I mean, you listen to her talk. It’s just business. It’s like, you know, arguing with somebody about the lawn service.

They’re like, “I want double the fee.” You’re like, “No.” It’s like, “I can hire Bob’s lawn service from down the street, and he’ll do it for cheaper than you, and probably do a better job.” That’s like or negotiate with your pool person. It’s like, what are you thinking? Just going to cut your pool persons, you know, fee in half they’re like, “Fuck you. I’m not coming to clean your pool anymore. I’m not going to mow your lawn anymore.”

I spent so much money on this girl and so much time and effort to just realize that everything was an illusion.

Well, it is an expensive lesson. I’ve lost millions of dollars over the course of my life on shitty consultants or people that were incompetent or stupid, or have no idea what they’re doing. But that’s life, you know? Nobody cares. Suck it up. Don’t be trying to date women from Seeking Arrangement. Seeking Arrangement if you’re on there, those are Hookers. It’s plain and simple. You’re paying a girl money to hang out and have sex with you. That’s it.

You wanna date, be on a dating app. But even then, a lot of these girls with the same attitude and mentality are on the dating apps. And so, they’ll pretend to match with you. And what I would see in the past was that they would match. And once you exchange phone numbers and start talking, they will unmatch with you and then they’ll tell you what they really want, like how much money they want a week to hang out and all this stuff.

And you’re like, “What? This is a dating app.” Then of course. You know, when you’re like, “That’s not what I’m looking for. This is a dating app.” They dip. That’s why it’s just better to meet somebody in person. Like I said, get out of your house and go participate with humanity. Everybody’s on their phones all the time.

I tried to date other women, but I just can’t get her off my mind. Am I a sucker?

I still believe in the values of a traditional role of a man to provide and protect.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Bob

Well you need to read My Book 10 to 15 times. Because it’s clear you have no game, you have no charm, you have no charisma. You have absolutely no idea or clue how attraction works. You’re a complete novice. You might as well be an 18 year old kid that’s hoping to lose his virginity on spring break. Because with your mentality and your attitude and the way you interact with women, you’re just not going to get anywhere. You’re just going to get constant rejection. So, you need to learn what creates attraction in women towards men, if you want to do better.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.