If Your Girlfriend Is Loyal & Trustworthy It’s Stupid To Obsess Over Her Past Lovers

If your girlfriend is loyal & trustworthy it’s stupid to obsess over her past lovers.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 23 year old viewer who has been with his girlfriend for almost 2 years and living together for 1 year. He only read 3% Man, twice before meeting her. She hooked up a few times with a guy who is now dating and has knocked up her sister. He can’t get over the fact his girlfriend has a body count of 30 and used to sleep with her sisters now boyfriend. He’s on the verge of blowing up his relationship because he kept asking about her past and now he’s repulsed by it. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “If Your Girlfriend Is Loyal & Trustworthy It’s Stupid To Obsess Over Her Past Lovers.”

It’s stupid to obsess over her past lovers. So this particular email is from a young guy, he’s 23. He’s been with his girlfriend for almost two years, and he’s been living together for a year. He says he only read 3% Man twice before he met her. So that would lead me to believe that he probably hasn’t been through it since. And I’ve had so many phone sessions recently where guys do exactly what this guy did, read The Book a few times, get a girlfriend, and then never go back to really learn the relationship stuff, and then they end up on a phone call with me in a panic because they’re trying to turn things around.

Because there’s a lot of things, a lot of subtle nuances that they just didn’t get from The Book. Plus, they only typically study the Pickup, Dating and Seduction Skills, but don’t really take the time to learn the Relationship Skills, which you’re going to need later on down the line. Unless you want to end up (alone or) on an emergency phone session with yours truly trying to fix things. And so this guy, he’s young, I imagine he’s probably like a lot of dudes that come across stuff in the Red Pill Community, talks about body count.

And it probably looks like he’s constantly been asking her about her past, and how many dudes she slept with. And I mean, when you think about it, it’s the reality is, and I’ve talked about this before, is by the time the average girl graduates college, if you figure she dates, has, or sleeps with, 2 or 3 different guys per year from the time she’s a freshman in high school, through the time she graduates college, that’s a course of eight years. So when you figure that you’re 2 or 3 different dudes a year that they date. I remember when I was in high school.

Girls would date a guy for the fall semester. Then something would happen. They’d break up or whatever, and then in the spring, they’d be dating somebody else. They might meet somebody over the summer if that relationship doesn’t end. And usually what I saw in the girls that I grew up with, a lot of them came from good family oriented backgrounds, all Catholic. I went to a Catholic High School, is usually after college in their mid 20s is when they meet somebody and that’s who they end up marrying. But by that point, it’s pretty easy if you just figure three dudes a year, you’re 24 bodies by that point.

A one night stand here and there, girls in a sorority. I mean, that’s like, to me, when we were growing up, it was like that was kind of common sense. Back when I was growing up, we never focused on body count or how many dudes a girl had slept with or how many chicks a guy had slept with. It was just, it wasn’t an issue. It’s only the newer guys, and usually people that focus so much on that. It’s the ones that are inexperienced, or aren’t getting laid at all, that are getting upset because some Red Pill retard on the internet told them they needed to get upset about it.

Because character is destiny. What you’re really trying to evaluate is, will this person that you’re with, if you’re exclusive with them, is she going to be loyal and faithful? Is she going to keep her word? Is she going to communicate like an adult? Is she easygoing, easy to get along with? Does she love her Dad? Does she love her Mom? Does she respect her Father’s authority? These are the kinds of things you should be asking just because a girl has slept with on average, typically; what? Because it’s so much easier for the average attractive girl to get laid.

I mean, she can just go to a bar one night, or a college party or a high school party and can go home with somebody. I mean, this to me, the whole focus, especially with the Red Pill guys obsessing over this. Now, granted, it’s like you’ve got, like, lately we see in the news there’s a girl. I think she’s from the UK. She slept with, like, 30 dudes in one day. I think she was a sex worker or OnlyFans girl or something like that. And then the next goal was 100 dudes in a day.

And then I think her big goal is she wants to have sex with a thousand different dudes in one day, which is pretty crazy. And I’ve seen the video of her interviewed after she just got plowed by dozens and dozens of dudes. I think they each get five minutes with her, basically. It doesn’t matter whether they finish or not. And it’s like something like that. The average guy is not, this is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about just the average girl, she’s dating, she’s looking for love, looking for a good boyfriend.

They’re young. They don’t have any experience. They don’t know what to look for. They’re going to get their heart broken a few times. And women are driven by their emotions. They meet a guy, there’s strong attraction, there’s strong chemistry. She thinks it’s really going to go somewhere, but he might just be smooth and has a really tight game and he’s just looking for a hookup or a booty call.

Or they date for a few weeks or a few months and then he doesn’t treat her well, or she’s really into him right out of the gate, because most guys that are able to meet and date and hook up with women, and I’ve talked about this many times with the girls in the Podcast, is that the average dude is good for about two, three, four weeks and the girl is really into him at first, but he starts doing and saying things that are unattractive and eventually she ditches the dude.

It’s really not that hard to stack that many bodies in a few years, and if you’re going to obsess over it and talk about it, it’s just it’s not a good conversation. It’s not going to help your relationship. What you really need to know is when she’s been in a relationship, was she loyal and faithful? Did she come from a family where her parents demonstrated loyalty and faithfulness and honor their commitments, or was there a bunch of lying and cheating and multiple partners in multiple affairs going on in the family?

Because whatever is modeled for them at home when they’re growing up is typically what they’re going to aspire to, and that’s the value system that they’re going to adopt. And so you really got to take it on a case by case basis. The odds of you finding a girl in your 20s who’s a virgin never kissed a guy. I mean, that hardly ever happens. Those didn’t really exist by the time we graduated high school most of the girls had boyfriends. They were already sleeping with guys.

And again, it’s just not something we really focused on or thought it was that big a deal. Now nobody wants to be with the town bicycle or like the OnlyFans girl that’s going to sleep with a thousand dudes in one day. That’s not what we’re talking about here. We’re just talking about the average regular girl. The dates 2 to 3 dudes a year. Again, because guys are good at the shoot. They’re good for 2 or 3 weeks. The girls thinking, “Wow, this is going to turn into something, might be my next boyfriend.”

And then 3 or 4 weeks into it, he’s completely turned her off. And then she doesn’t want to date him or sleep with him anymore. And then she meets another guy. And she’s only going to get serious with with a guy that’s able to maintain her attraction and grow it and get her to fall in love, that’s just the reality of the situation. And so this particular email that I got here, you know, they’re living together. And so what’s interesting is that it looks like again, he just keeps asking her about it.

And so what’s interesting is her sister has a boyfriend that just got pregnant. And apparently at some point in the past, this guy’s girlfriend used to hook up with the guy that is now knocked up her sister. And so it really bothers him, the fact that, you know, this particular dude is now that he’s pregnant, or knocked up her sister, he’s always going to be a part of it, and he just can’t get the picture out of his head of this guy blowing his girlfriend’s back out.

And, you know, his girl, they live together, she wants to get married, and he’s just having a hard time with it, probably again because he listened to a bunch of inexperienced Red Pill retards that are really not qualified to lead somebody across the street, much less give them advice on dating or relationships, because most of them are just too young to really have any kind of experience that they could help somebody. So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach, 

I’m 23 years old and live in the Midwest. I’ve been with my girlfriend now for nearly 18 months and have been living together for one year. I make great money, $100k+/ year, I’m in decent shape, and have my shit together. I only read your book a couple times before meeting my girlfriend. 

Well, that’s going to present problems to you later on down the line only reading it a couple of times. You’re not going to be able to learn the relationship stuff you need to learn just from cherry picking videos. Because again, the videos are based on the assumption, the premise, that you’ve read The Book and at the end of the day, The Book is Free To Read on my Website. All you have to do is subscribe to the free email newsletter and it’ll open up right in your browser.

So it’s kind of absurd that you’ve been following me for all these years and you’ve barely got through The Book twice. Guys like you are the ones that end up on phone sessions with me in a panic trying to save their relationship or, you know, trying to undo the fact they got served divorce papers or their girlfriend moved out. because they usually wait until things are really a mess before they get in touch, unfortunately. So you don’t want to be one of those guys. But you know, most people major in minor things. They don’t listen. And all I can do is suggest.

She checks nearly all the boxes. She gives me tons of affection, has dinner prepared for me every night, packs my lunch, and handles all the house chores.

Girls that do that, that behave that way, that’s what was modeled for them at home. So that’s a good sign. Every night and she makes his lunch every day. That’s a good girlfriend.

I am her king, and she treats me like it 365 days a year. We’ve been on a few vacations together, have made great memories, and have a great sex life. She reaches climax every single time! She is a great partner. 

Well, that’s what you’re doing. Character is destiny. And in this period of time, you’re trying to vet her or can you trust her? Is she loyal? Is she faithful? What was modeled for her at home? Those kinds of things.

Things that have bothered me, since I found out roughly one year ago, is her promiscuous past during her teenage years, 25 to 30 plus bodies.

It’s like whatever. Again. The only thing that really matters. What if she had one boyfriend the whole time, but she was cheating on him and he was cheating on her? Do you think you’re going to be different? And she’s going to be loyal and faithful to you? That’s what you got to vet for. You’ve got to vet for her character. That’s the most important thing. Because just because she’s a virgin or has only had a handful of boyfriends, doesn’t mean she’s going to be loyal and faithful to you.

And that’s what gets pushed by a lot of these Red Pill retards is, they think, “Oh, just a low body count means that she’s the perfect girl.” Or “She’s a virgin, she’s a perfect girl.” Or “I’ll go overseas and get a girl with a low body count, and I’ll bring her back to the States and marry her. And she’ll be loyal and faithful to me.” And they don’t ever bother vetting for character. They just look at the body count. And think, “Well, that’s it.” That’s absurd.

Most of them she said were drug or alcohol induced decisions. I’ve only had a handful of sexual partners myself.

Well, that’s the experience of most dudes, because guys, especially younger dudes, don’t really have any game or any experience to speak of. And women, the average attractive woman, is always getting hit on. So it’s like the buffet comes to them. And for guys, they have to work a little harder for it.

As well as the fact that she had several hookups in the past with who is now her younger sister’s boyfriend. When we’ve talked about it in the past, she mentioned how well endowed his “dong” was and how she doesn’t know how her sister “can even handle it”.

Well, again, it’s pretty clear he’s bringing this up. He’s picking her brain, trying to get her to talk about it, and then he’s hearing things that turn him off. It’s like, I mean, to me this is silly and it’s immature behavior. And beyond knowing whether or not they’re loyal or faithful to want to get into the graphic details of your girlfriend’s former sexual partners and things they used to do together. It’s like, why would you do that? It’s like, that’s just something that, to me is absurd.

I’m not going to sit and obsess over that. The only thing that matters is what we do now together, because otherwise you’re always kind of comparing yourself to these other people. And at the end of the day, she’s with you now. She chose you. Another thing I see the Red Pill guys is always, “Oh, well, she’s with you. It’s because she’s settled. Because Chad Thunder Cock didn’t want her and now she’s with you.”

That’s just loser thinking, loser mentality. You should have the attitude. It’s like, “Well, she chose me because I’m the best option. Duh, obviously.” But at the end of the day, women don’t care about how good looking you are or how much money you have, or how nice your stuff is or how successful you are. They only really care about how they feel about you.

That comment made me sick. They’ve been together roughly 18 months as well, and we just found out her sister is pregnant with his child.  

I mean, usually during the holidays I get together, I see a lot of friends, old friends from high school. And I got a really close friend. He’s been with his wife for 30 years. And there’s another mutual friend of ours who was an alpha in high school that pretty much banged all the hot girls, and she used to hook up with him. And sometimes we see this guy, and now this guy, he’s still fit, he’s still in shape, and he’s banged a lot of girls, but he’s been married 4 or 5 times. He’s extremely wealthy.

He’s done really well after high school, and he makes way more money than my buddy does, who is married to her. She dated this particular guy for a few weeks in college and they hooked up, obviously, but she ended up blowing him off. And he also dated a sister of a girl that I used to date, and so he was great out of the chute. He was the Alpha in high school. Lots of girls hooked up with him. He banged a lot of the cheerleaders, but he wasn’t good at maintaining the attraction because he was good out of the chute. But he was a little too soft.

And he tended, when he was in a long term relationship, to let women push him around and walk all over him. And my friend, who’s married to the girl that had hooked up with this guy at one point, it’s like he was the same way he banged all the hot girls in school, and he doesn’t even make anything close to what this other mutual friend of ours. And we get together at the holidays, we drink. It’s like he doesn’t feel inferior, because at the end of the day, if his wife left him or cheated on him or something like that, it’s like that night he’d be out banging somebody that was half his age because he has it in spades.

He still has that magic. When he and I hang out together it’s amazing the different side of him that I see that other people don’t. It’s like even though he’s a dad and he’s loyal, he’s faithful, he’s trustworthy. It’s like he’s still a man’s man. Nobody pushes him around. He ain’t a doormat for nobody. And he doesn’t feel inferior. He doesn’t feel insecure when we get around other mutual friend. Because the way he looks at it is like my wife dated this dude for a few weeks and yeah, they hooked up. But at the end of the day, she blew him off because quite frankly, long term he acted like a bitch.

And if you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. And the girl that I dated whose sister used to date this same particular guy, that was the same experience. I watched them together. He was just soft. She was really hot. And she pushed him around and eventually dumped him. And I remember having conversations with her, and he made her feel queasy because he basically wasn’t man enough to stand up to her. So just because somebody has slept with somebody that you know, or vice versa.

I mean, there’s dudes that I know that I’ve dated their girlfriends after the fact. After they dated them, I never felt inferior. It’s like, to me it’s silly, and it’s immature. Because if you live in a small community, a small group, you’re going to come across girls that have dated people that you know and to obsess over that. It’s like, what value does it add to your life again? How does that help you evaluate their character? Are they loyal and faithful to guys they’ve made a commitment to? Yes or no?

That’s the only thing that really should bother you, because frankly, everybody is somebody else’s leftovers. It’s just in this particular case, he happens to know one of the guys that his girlfriend hooked up with who is now knocked up the sister. You’re keeping it all in the family. It’s like big fucking deal. I had a close friend of mine that dated my ex-wife for many years. Several years after we had split up. Does that mean that ruins my friendship with my buddy? Or he looks down on me or hates me because I was with her first?

It’s like, that’s silly. It’s just childish. It’s immature. If you love your family, you love your peers. You love your former girlfriends. You love your friends that may have dated them. You want them to be happy. That’s what love really is. If you love somebody, you want them to be happy, even if it’s not with you. It shouldn’t be something that your girls previous sexual partners you should feel inferior about. Because if you do, if you feel insecure about that and she sees that that’s really unattractive and it’s not going to be helpful to your relationship. So even if it bothers you, it’s better if you keep it to yourself.

My girlfriend has been pressuring me for marriage/ children in the near future. I’m not a guy who lives in the past. However, I’m struggling with the idea that if I marry and have kids with this girl my children’s uncle will be a man that got to pleasure my wife long before I had the chance to. 

It’s like, so what? You just happen to know one dude. There are plenty of other guys that had that chance that you don’t know about. And again, how does discussing this, beyond judging her and your character help you? What value is it adding to your relationship? It adds none. It’s creating problems where there are none.

Every time I see him, I think about him blowing my girlfriends back out, and it makes me angry.

Well, behind anger is always fear. And human beings have two primary fears. Fear that we’re not enough, and fear that we won’t be loved. And so, in this case, when I take into account the fact that this guy is only read my book a couple of times, that tells me that there are things that his girlfriend does and says that he doesn’t know how to respond to. He doesn’t know how to react to, and he feels inferior.

He doesn’t feel certain, so he’s still got a knowledge gap. And this knowledge gap is going to become more of a problem going forward. If he doesn’t take the time to read The Book 10 to 15 times, he’s going to have a hard time keeping his girl happy and in love with him, especially with the way his mindset is now, because he’s just simply focusing on things that are unresourceful and unhelpful for him and his girl’s future.

Every girl has a past, but this has been weighing on my heart, especially knowing that with their baby on the way he’ll unfortunately be permanent family if I stay in this relationship to marriage. 

Well, your girlfriend just used to hook up with this guy. She wasn’t in a relationship with him. She just hooked up with him. So whatever reason, she chose not to be with him. Just like my close friend’s wife chose not to be with this other mutual friend of ours who makes way more money. Who’s in better shape. Who’s better looking. Who banged a lot of girls, but he was never, ever really able to maintain. I think he’s been married. He’s on his fifth marriage now, as a matter of fact, that particular guy.

Whereas my buddy, he’s only been married to one person, his wife, they’ve been together 30 years. They got beautiful kids. They’re all grown up and they’ve had an amazing family. They have amazing relationship. And it’s like, I admire and respect the hell out of both of them. And she doesn’t feel bad about her past. He doesn’t feel bad. I mean, she knew about his past. He slept with way more girls than she slept with guys. He was the bad boy.

He was the guy that when all of her girlfriends found out she was going out on dates with him, or had just started dating him, they’re like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re dating him.” But he was a man and he made her feel extremely attracted. She fell in love with him and they so far have been living happily ever after. He doesn’t in any way feel inferior because at the end of the day, she chose him. She didn’t choose the other guy. As a matter of fact, they dated for a few weeks. He started acting like a bitch and she tossed him aside and didn’t want to date him anymore.

Just like my ex-girlfriend’s sister who used to date him, so he doesn’t feel threatened. You shouldn’t feel threatened by this. I would say the only reason you feel insecure and threatened is you got a knowledge gap. And there are things that are going on in your relationship that you’re confused by, and you don’t know how to respond. Because if you knew The Book backwards and forwards, you wouldn’t be fearful that you’re going to lose your girl, potentially to somebody else or that it’s going to go sideways, you would be certain that she’s going to stay with you forever, as long as you continue to do more things right than wrong.

And obviously assuming you vetted her properly for character and she’s somebody that’s always been loyal and faithful. I mean, the fact that she makes you lunch, she makes you dinner every day. He says they have a great relationship. They have a great sex life. Everything’s awesome. What’s the problem? You’re going to dwell on some dude that your girlfriend rejected that she hooked up with him a few times. That’s just, that’s silly. It’s ridiculous.

Maybe I need to break things off and find a girl with a family and past that is not this messy, and that doesn’t put a wrench in my stomach. 

Please advise, thanks for all your help and guidance Coach.

Bob

It’s like, again, I just think you’re being silly. As long as she is loyal and faithful to you and has always behaved that way. And that’s what was modeled for her at home. And judging by what you’ve said about your relationship there, it’s like you’re making a problem where there is no problem. And you’ve got some irrational fears that you’re going to need to deal with. Because if you don’t deal with them now, and you don’t take the time to get back to The Book and fill in your knowledge gaps, it’s like you’re going to have problems down the road. If you act like a bitch women will treat you like a bitch.

If you were absolutely certain of yourself and where you’re at and where you stood with your girl. You wouldn’t be in a state of fear. You wouldn’t be worried about the fact that your girlfriend used to hook up with her sister’s now boyfriend and future baby daddy. Again, it’s just silly. She chose you. She didn’t choose the other guy. She hooked up with him for a little period of time, and he probably turned her off. And she wanted nothing to do with him after that. So to be thinking about anything else beyond evaluating her character, and can you trust her?

If she’s loyal and faithful and trustworthy, she treats you like a king. It’s like, again, I don’t see any problems here. The only problem is you and your mindset and the fact that you’ve only been through The Book twice. That’s the only thing that I see wrong with this, based on what you’ve shared here. So get over it, Dude.

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