Here’s how ignoring a woman who rejected you previously and put you into “friends zone” can create attraction. When I say ignore a woman who had previously put you in “friends zone,” I’m not talking about being mean or being a dick to her. I’m talking about not being focused on her and what she’s doing as if she’s the last woman on the planet you’ll ever talk to or be interested in. That’s what most guys do, they get fixated on one woman who is not interested in them, but yet they constantly bullshit themselves into believing they’ve got a chance. They usually have a limiting belief that tells them they don’t deserve to have the type of woman they really want. By staying fixated on what they can not have, it prevents them from seeing and taking advantage of the opportunities with other women who are all around them; at all times! Sometimes belief and seeing, are both wrong when it comes to objectively observing a woman’s actions to determine her level of romantic interest in you. We tend to project our feelings onto another assuming they feel exactly the same way as we do. By treating every woman the same, you don’t get fixated or hung up on any one woman until she’s earned it through her actions. By having many different options with women, you’ll naturally gravitate towards spending more and more time with the women who really like you. Why? Because they’ll be working to win your heart also. The following is an e-mail from a reader who is still hung up on a woman he is getting nowhere with. He first wrote me about this woman two months ago! He’s now wasted an additional two months of his life he can never get back trying to make something out of nothing. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
I just read your book, it’s great. It made me realize some things about myself that I need to change. (You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) I have written to you about this woman before. I totally ignore her, but she still wants my attention. So she was in my area once again for a meeting. She totally went out of her way to avoid me and not talk to me even though I was right next to her. (Sounds like you were doing the same thing.) So when I am coming back inside, I see her again. This time she has an attractive guy talking to her, someone in the same league as her. (Translation: “I’m a loser and she could never want a guy like me.” This is just one of the limiting beliefs running around in your head that is causing you to unknowingly sabotage your success with women. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You feel you don’t deserve a girl like you want, so you stay focused only on a woman who pays no attention to you, and tells you she only wants you as a friend. Therefore, you’re not practicing your skills on other women so you don’t have to risk rejection, and instead stay focused on what you can’t have because you don’t believe you are worthy of a woman like her. Guess what? Keep it up and your life will never change or get better in this area that is critical to your overall happiness, and sense of well-being.) That’s when she decides to say good morning and smile. So I outright ignored her. (That was stupid. You should have said, “Hey beautiful, are you still fighting those impure thoughts you’ve been having about me?” as you walk on by. Assume they always want you and bust them on it as if you’re on to their secret crush they have on you. Most women won’t really feel that way about you, but you can chat that way with them as if they do and they will most often play along just for the fun of it. Girls like to flirt and enjoy the attention of charming men even when they are in a happy and committed monogamous relationship. You should treat ALL WOMEN this way, being charming and sweet. She’s probably just enjoying her flirtations with you. Some women do it because it makes them feel good and desired, but they don’t act on it. You just have to learn to tell the difference between a flirter, and a girl who is flirting because she really likes you. Women will make it obvious when they like you. However, if you’re not talking to, and interacting with enough different women, you won’t learn to tell the difference in their body language, words they use and the tone of their voice. You need to practice in order to master all three ways of seducing women.) So now she is calling the guy that sits right next me at work to talk about “work” related things. Is she trying to make me jealous so I start to chase her again? (Chasing women always guarantees rejection. Maybe she’s simply enjoying flirting with him, or to see if she can get you to stop being a pissed off grumpy guy. She obviously likes to flirt and have fun. You should be doing the same with ALL of the women you work with. Why? Because soon, they’ll all love you and want to set you up with their hot single girlfriends. Plus, they’ll always be protective of you and be looking out for you. Women are very nurturing and loving. If you just ask them questions about their lives, kids, pictures on their desks, etc. they’ll talk your ear off and love you just for listening and saying, “Wow! Really? No way! Tell me more! What else? Etc.” as they’re sharing and talking with you. You can never have too many beautiful women as friends. You’ll meet a lot of other women that way.) Because she made it quite clear she is not feeling me in that type of way, even though I know she is. (I think you are bullshitting yourself. You are not paying attention to reality. By focusing on meeting and dating other women, this fixation on her will slowly dissolve over time. As she feels you slipping away to other women, and IF, she has any feelings for you of 51% or more, she will ask you to have a drink with her or do something. However, if she was just flirting and playing for fun, she’ll let you walk. Either way, by going after new women and practicing your skills, you’ll get better and start having successes with other women. That is what will build your confidence and change things for the better in your life. It’s been over 2 months since you first wrote me about this girl, yet here you are still hung up on a non-possibility. You’re wasting your valuable and limited time, and life, on something that ain’t happening. Take your foot off the brake and start moving forward!)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
Letting go of what you are, enables you to become what you could be.