I’m Moving. Don’t Want My Ex Back, But She Has Stuff Here.

How to avoid your ex if you’re moving & want her to pick up her stuff.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who got dumped by his ex after going through a difficult time. He doesn’t want her back and wants to avoid her without making any effort to return her stuff. She has lots of clothes in suitcases and asks what’s the best way to get her stuff back to her while avoiding her.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer who got dumped by his ex-girlfriend after going through a really difficult time in quick succession. He had several family members get really sick, so he had to dip into his savings to help them. Obviously he’s stressed out because these are people that are close to him that he really loves, and he went out of his way trying to help them. Of course, he’s going through a difficult time. He wasn’t the same. He wasn’t completely present for his girlfriend. So after going through seven months of hell trying to take care of his family, she ups and leaves him and left a bunch of stuff there. She eventually broke no-contact and reached out. He invited her to make over to make dinner. She said she’d get back to him. She never got back to him.

Now, it’s been a couple of months and I guess through the grapevine he’s heard a bunch of things about her and found out a bunch of things that just really are upsetting to him. So he’s like, “I don’t want her back. I don’t want to talk to her. I’m moving out of this place. I’ve got several suitcases of her crap here.” He’s like, “I don’t even want to spend the calories it’s going to take to text her. I’m not taking her shit back.” He’s like, “What do I do?” Because he doesn’t want to break no-contact either.

So he doesn’t elaborate or go into detail, but it looks like this girl did him dirty, and when you go through a difficult time in anything in life, you really find out who’s on your team and who’s not, who really cares for you and people who pretend to care for you, but secretly, they love to see you struggle and twist in the wind for whatever reason. Most people, they want you to do well as long as you’re not doing better than them. When you go through a difficult time, especially when you’re in a relationship, you find out what you’re really dealing with, if your girl is really on your team or not.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey, 

I have been a follower of your channel for years, I have had many success stories with women. Here’s one for you that’s more of a success of turning my life around after almost loosing everything I had. 

My girlfriend and I broke up months months ago, I went through a heavy seven months of stress due to my family, and I was close to losing everything I had. Within three months from February to April, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, my uncle was diagnosed with cancer, my sister was diagnosed with cancer. The treatments were expensive. My family was close to lose their homes. I live in another country and couldn’t help but financially. I came to the point where I had to step in with all my life savings and luckily I had a lot to save my family which was, of course, a no-brainer. It was a very stress full time, I got skinny, stressed and had barely money left. She left.

Well, I guess she didn’t really want to stick around.

I’ve talked about this before. It’s like when you’re in a long-term relationship, most women are going to give you about six to 12 months to get your life together and get shit turned around before they start looking for the exits. It’s just kind of the way it is.

I’ve done phone sessions with guys that have been with their wives for decades, raised a family. They were always the alpha, and then they go through a difficult time, they got a health challenge or they got a business challenge and they think, “Well, we’ve been together 20, 30 years, 35 years. I can lean on her a little bit.” In other words, they basically turn their wives into their mommies, and they get about six to 12 months and the woman just gets really turned off because they don’t want to be the man in the relationship. They don’t want to be the leader. Obviously when you’ve got family that’s got health problems like this, you know, you really feel for the guy and what he’s going through, and his girlfriend is just like all in the middle like, “Yeah, see you later! Hasta la vista, baby!”

The past three months I turned my life around completely. I’m fitter, better looking, more successful and sure back to myself, financially stronger then I was before. 

She contacted me again after two months of no-contact for something practical. At that time I was still having feelings for her, so I invited her to come over for dinner and told her that she also has stuff of hers at my place. She said we can see each other when she’s back from vacation, She went on vacation shortly before she contacted me, so we left it with to call me when she’s back.

Well, as I always say, you got to give women the time and space away from you to either follow through on their plans and commitments, or to flake out and disappear forever.

It’s been five weeks now or so, she hasn’t follow through yet, which is fine because within this time I realized a lot of things and found out even more about what she did during our relationship and shortly after and it disgusts me. So I do not want to even see, talk or contact her.

Unfortunately she makes my hair stand up just thinking about her. 

So it sounds like she really betrayed him. Who knows? Maybe she monkey-branched to another guy. Can you imagine? He’s going through this difficult time with the people closest to him and his girl is like, “Well, I’m just not happy. So I guess I’ll just start entertaining other men.” I’m guessing, I don’t know, he doesn’t put it in here, but she clearly betrayed him and he wasn’t happy about it. She did him dirty, and now she’s got all this shit at her place.

I recently bought a new and bigger apartment and will move soon. I’m not planning on being her storage room and bringing this stuff with me to my new place. I’m dating new women, wonderful women that are treating me the way I’m supposed to be and want to be treated.

So my question is, do I tell her to come get her stuff, otherwise I’ll take care of it? Or do I leave it be? I’m not willing to spend any money or calories on her for her suitcases of clothes.

Appreciate your time and help. 

Bob

Well, it’s been a couple of months, and if she was cheating with somebody else and rode off into the sunset, you said you got a bigger apartment, so it looks like you bought one. Were you renting the one you were in? Because if you really don’t want to talk to her and you’re just fuming mad, which I can totally understand. I mean, look, I see how she treated you. If it was me and it was an apartment community, what you could do is you could move all your shit out, leave her two suitcases in there, or you could bring them to the leasing office and give them to one of the leasing agents. Maybe if there’s a nice girl there, you could say, “Hey, I’d appreciate you guys. These two suitcases are for my ex. I was going through a really difficult time. She didn’t stick by me. I was taking care of sick family members, and I don’t really want to talk to her anymore. Here’s these two suitcases. Here’s her number. It’d be great. Here’s $20 if you could call her when I’m gone and let her know that there’s two suitcases here that belong to her.” If she wants them, she can come pick them up. Otherwise, they’re going to be given to Goodwill or something like that. That’s how I would handle it.

Now, another way you could do it, again if it’s an apartment that you owned, have your realtor fucking do it. Tell your realtor like, “I don’t want to talk to this bitch. She really dicked me over, but I want to give her the opportunity to get her shit back. It’d be nice if you just say, Hey, Bob moved out. I sold that place for him, and he said there was a couple suitcases that belonged to you that you were going to come by and pick them up and never did. So I just wanted to give you the courtesy. If you still want that stuff, here’s my number. Give me a call. They’ll be at this location. You can come pick them up. Otherwise, if I don’t hear from you in a couple of days, we’re just going to go ahead and give the stuff to Goodwill or we’re going to throw it away.” So that would be how I would deal with it if you really felt that way.

I can understand, I’m not in your shoes, I’ve never had a breakup be so nasty with somebody that didn’t end like that. There’s a lot of feral humans out there, and I can understand you don’t want to talk to her. So if it was me, if it was an apartment community, give $20 to one of the leasing people. Just tell them, “I don’t want to talk to this girl. She really dicked me over. She cheated on me,” or whatever. “My family was going through it. Everybody had cancer, and I’m trying to take care of them. I found out my girlfriend’s talking to another guy or cheating on another guy,” whatever happens to be. “Here’s $20. Here’s $50. Here’s her number. Once I’m gone, call her up. Tell her she can come pick her shit up. If she doesn’t come pick it up within a certain number of days, you’re going to throw it away or give it away, or you can have it. I don’t give a shit. I just don’t want to talk to her.” Or if you got a real estate agent, if you owned it and you’re selling it, let the realtor deal with it, and then you don’t have to talk to her at all. That’s what I would do.

If you’re trying not to have to talk to her because you don’t want to hear her, she makes your skin crawl, I can totally understand it, and let her come pick that shit up. If she doesn’t come pick it up, again if it’s a leasing office, they give her 48 hours. You don’t pick it up, we’re just going to throw it in the dumpster. Then you can block her number. Then that way she’s like, “Arghhh!” The message never gets through. It’s out of sight, out of mind. That way you can ride off into the sunset and you never have to speak to the bitch again as long as you live.

I’m sorry that all that shit happened to you, but man, when you go through a tough time like that, this is how you find out who’s really on your team and who’s not. Instead of standing by her man it’s like, if a woman really, truly cares about you, sees your losing weight and you’re struggling, she’s going to make you meals, she’s going to take care of you, but if her attitude is like, “Oh, he’s neglecting me. He’s not taking care of me. Well, I’m just going to go sleep with his best friend or my boss,” or whatever, then fuck her! She can go on down the road. So I totally understand your mindset. That’s what I would do if I were you.

You’re doing everything you can to avoid her. On top of that, I’d block her everywhere. If you really don’t want her reaching out after everything you found out about her, then block her everywhere and pay somebody $20 or whatever, “Here’s $50. Just take care of it. That’d be great. If she doesn’t come, claim it. You can keep the shit. I don’t fucking care. Throw it away. Don’t care.”

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