I’m Still Unsure If My Girlfriend Is Right For Me Long Term

Some things to consider if you’re unsure if your girlfriend is right for you long term.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who provides an update to a previous email on trying to determine if his girlfriend is right for him long term. They were both far left politically, but he has become more of a libertarian in the past year.

She also has severe anxiety issues and takes medications that don’t really seem to help. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

So this is actually an email update from a guy whose previous email I answered, I guess in the past couple months. The title of that was How To Know If She’s The Right Girl Or You’re Just Comfortable. So he provides an update and some more clarity on some of the other issues and things that are troubling him about this girl.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

I am writing a more detailed follow up email of my original, which you covered in your video and newsletter, How To Know If She’s The Right Girl Or You’re Just Comfortable. I’m from Nebraska, finishing up college and planning to become a personal trainer, which is a path that I’ve discovered I have a passion for thanks to your work, and reading Mastering Yourself multiple times.

Well, the title of the book is How to Align Your life with Your True Calling and Reach Your Full Potential. That was why 3% Man is all about being a man, how to meet, attract, and keep the woman of your dreams. Then Mastering Yourself is how to align your life with your true calling and reach your full potential. Plus, obviously I got the two quotes books which are a lot of mindset and all of the quotes from my different video newsletters over the years you that guys have liked so much.

My girlfriend is in her first year of a PhD program for neuroscience, and wants to do policy work. While our relationship is solid, we have sex many times a week, do not argue, and I get along well with her family, and she does mine, I still have many concerns about our future together and need some help to decide if she really is the right girl to take the next step with, despite the fact that I do see her being a mother to my kids.

Here are my concerns:

1. Political alignment
: Politically, we do not align anymore. At the beginning of our relationship, I was moderate to slightly left, while now as I’ve grown older, I’m more on the libertarian side.

Well, I’d say keep going right. Especially if you’re going to become a personal trainer or have your own business, you’ll notice that you become more conservative and ideally constitutionalist in nature because conservatives, especially the Republican Party, is just fucking dog shit. You got a lot of people in the Republican Party that really aren’t Republicans. They’re what they call RINOs, Republicans In Name Only, but they’re really just Democrats and leftists that lie and pretend to be something they’re not. That’s why no matter who’s in power, with the exception of Donald Trump, America’s favorite president in the past, whether it was Obama, Bush, or Clinton, any of those former presidents, nothing really changed. It was always the same thing. You just got the slow train to socialism or the fast train to socialism. The fast train with the Democrats, the slow train with the Republicans. At the end of the day, the train is still going to the same destination, which is the destruction of our democratic constitutional republic.

We are not a democracy. Anybody saying we’re saving democracy doesn’t understand. Well actually, they probably do understand it, but at the end of the day, it’s a propaganda term. We’re not a democracy. It’s all about protecting the individual, because as a second line of the Declaration of Independence states, it’s assumed there’s a Creator and we’re here at the Creator’s desire. Therefore the Creator gave us the art, in other words, the Creator gave us a birthright of, as it says in the beginning of the Declaration of Independence, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In other words, you own your body. You’re here because the Creator put you here, and no man and no state has the right to infringe upon your rights, including the right to keep and bear arms. It comes from God. That’s why Republicans say that all the time. Our rights come from God. Then the Democrats go, “Oh, it’s not true.” It’s in the second line of the Declaration of Independence, which is the first founding document of our democratic constitutional republic. It’s a fact. They can deny it all they want because they’re communists, but it’s settled law for over two centuries, so they can cry all they want.

My girlfriend, however, is and has always been a far leftist (Barack Obama fan, kind of like one of the girlfriends you’ve talked about before)…

Yep.

…And her family is also far left.

So yeah, my ex-girlfriend grew up without a father. He died at six from a drug overdose, and her mother never dated, had a boyfriend, or hooked up with anybody since. So she looks at the state, that the state should be the mommy and the parent. That’s how people on the left tend to look at it. The state makes everything righteous when in reality you get the most ruthless dirt-bags going into government. That’s why when you look at communism, socialism, collectivism, it always ends in a dictatorship and they always take everybody’s guns away. Then you can’t get rid of these people.

I mean, just look at Russia. Even though the wall fell in, the Soviet Union collapsed, you still got a dictator running shit and you can’t do anything about it. You don’t like it. They send you to the front lines to get you killed on purpose As Lavrov said, I saw an interview with him about a month or two ago, he said, these were his words, “To purge Russia of all the people who were not sufficiently patriotic to the motherland.” In other words, if they didn’t think you were Russian enough, or you believed in the ideals of Russia, they sent you in a meat assault on the front lines against Ukrainians, knowing, hoping, and intending that you get killed and die on the battlefield, and they just leave your carcass out there to rot. That’s how they deal with people that they don’t like. They just send you to the front lines and get you killed in war on purpose so they don’t have to deal with you anymore.

That’s what happens when you give up your guns, and that will happen here if we ever allow ourselves to be disarmed. It’s just a matter of time. It’s what’s always happened all throughout history. When the government wants to disarm its people and is successful. That’s the first step before they just start killing whoever they want. Or in Russia’s case, they send you to the front lines on a suicide mission, and they’re proud of it. They’re proud to purge you from their society. That’s why they cleaned everybody out of their jails, political prisoners, areas of their country where the people weren’t really friendly to the government, they sent them to die in the front lines on purpose so they didn’t have to deal with them anymore. As Lavrov said, they weren’t sufficiently patriotic.

She seems very married to her political beliefs. We respect our different views, and don’t necessarily argue over them, but I worry that this will be an issue long term when we have children.

Yeah, exactly. I’ve had clients that are in the same exact boat. They’re conservative and they’re dating a far left girl, and when they bring up the jab and the clot shot, they say, “Well, if that happens again, there’s no way I’m getting vaccinated and our kids are getting vaccinated.” Then women just go very flippantly, very condescendingly, and arrogantly, “Well, I’ll just take them when you’re not around,” and get them vaccinated because they totally believe the propaganda and they’re shocked when they hear this. It’s like, well that’s what happens when your values are no longer aligned.

2. Self help/Personal development/fitness
: My second issue is that I am very into self help and personal development, as well as health and fitness. My girlfriend is fit, has a great body, and does yoga 2–3 times a week, but outside of that she doesn’t make it a huge priority to get into fitness and self help like I do. She reads completely different books (fiction) while I am almost exclusively into self help kinds of books. How big of an issue is this? Is having a girl who is into self help and fitness an ideal, or is it worth leaving my current girlfriend over?

Well, the most important thing is, does she take care of her body? Does she work out? Is she fit, or is the only reason she does these things because you twist her arm and you drag her to the gym with you? Because the longer you’re together, eventually she’s going to revert back to the mean, which is just being lazy and not taking care of her body. That’s the important thing, because she has to have the value to take care of her body or she doesn’t.

3. Anxiety, panic attacks, therapy, and weed gummies: 
My third concern is that she suffers from anxiety and panic attacks on occasion…

This is something that’s also very interesting about liberal women as a whole. It’s like a really high percentage of them, I’ve seen stats as high as 50% of them are on anxiety medications like Xanax and other things, and they have mental health issues. They’re on psychotropic drugs and much higher incidence than conservative women.

Again, this is what happens when they come from a broken home, or they have a weak father, a non-existent father, or a father that they hate. That’s why they’re more inclined to support things that cause the state to be seen as the mommy. So they literally want the state, they want the government to be their mommy because they didn’t have a father. So they don’t feel safe. They feel anxiety and they take pills, which doesn’t really help. It just covers up things which, you know, my leftist girlfriend from Brazil was on antidepressants, unbeknownst to me, until about six or seven months into our relationship, when she informed me, “Oh, by the way, I’ve been taking these for two years and things are so great between us that I stopped taking them three days ago and my prescription ran out two weeks later.” She was metamorphosized into a completely different human being. Angry, upset, moody, nasty, unwilling to talk and communicate, and just a miserable, unhappy woman. Which is exactly why her son and her mother talked her into getting on them in the first place.

Again, she grew up without a father, she had an older brother that she didn’t get along with, he had severe mental health issues, and she even had to get him arrested one time when he got violent. On top of that, she was super fucking hot. So everywhere she went, men were bowing down at her feet and it blew her ego up the size of Texas. She thought she could do no wrong because pretty much every man in society treats her that way. She was a tyrant, and I wasn’t going to deal with that. Easygoing, easy to get along with, and she’s got to be nice to you.

…Which she takes medications for. However, some days her anxiety is so much that even the medications can’t stop her from having panic attacks and being very tense and neurotic when we’re together.

The other thing, in my experience, women that were on Xanax, these anti-anxiety drugs, or psychotropic drugs, they’re much better when they get off of them. I have not seen anybody in my family that I’ve known that does well with these drugs. My dad’s fiancé took herself off of. She was a manic depressive, took herself off her antidepressants, and a few weeks later she hung herself. That was the fifth time that she tried to commit suicide. Again, my Brazilian girlfriend took herself off her antidepressants, and within two weeks, she just turned into a completely different woman that I didn’t recognize and just absolutely destroyed our relationship with her wacky behavior.

I’ve had other girlfriends that used to be on them and got off of them, and they were much better being off of them than they were on them. I just have not seen it. That’s just my personal experience. I have not seen that these drugs actually work. All they do is kind of cover up a problem, and in a lot of cases they make it worse. So therapy, eating a good, healthy diet, and exercising, I’ve found to be much better than all these pills that doctors prescribe and give out like Tic-Tacs, because they’re financially incentivized by the pharmaceutical companies to do that. It’s just the way it is there. You’re just a fucking dollar sign to them, especially when you go to a doctor and he’s fat and obese and doesn’t look like he’s ever lifted a weight or done any kind of exercise in his life and he’s going to advise you about health, it’s like, get the fuck out of here.

The other crazy thing about most doctors is they don’t even read their own medical journals. Their education stops as soon as they leave medical school. They don’t take any time to learn anymore, and they don’t even read their own medical journals to learn what the latest technology, strategies, and health regimens are changing. It’s like their education stops as soon as they graduate college.

This is a big turnoff, sometimes it lasts for days.

Yeah, my my Brazilian girlfriend would not talk to me for three or four days and I would just wonder, “OK well, what’s the deal?” She didn’t want to talk about it. Then she’d call me four days later like nothing happened and still didn’t want to talk about it, and I just got tired of that. I wasn’t going to deal with that. You’re fine, you’re having a great time together, and all of a sudden you can’t talk to her for four days because she’s mad and she needs four days to calm down? It’s like, no fucking way. I’m not dealing with that, and I dipped.

When she is having anxiety like this, there is very little I can do to help her relax, despite my efforts to give her a massage, talk things through, go on walks, etc.

Yeah, in my experience it’s the drugs. So I don’t see that the drugs have helped. I don’t know anybody that drugs have helped that have been on them. My own girlfriends, other members of my family.

So if you’re both health-focused, the other thing is, Secretary Kennedy was talking about gut biome and gut bacteria, and they have a lot of studies and a lot of doctors that have been working, like the keto diet is another one, they’ve discovered that people that go into keto diet, their schizophrenia and their bipolar symptoms all go away when they normalize their diet and their exercise. Isn’t that interesting? So there’s that.

You’re a health-oriented guy. Maybe you could sit down, talk to her, and see how she could slowly get herself off. Maybe you could work with her doctors, and if she’s got a doctor that just wants to give her pills and get her the fuck out of his office as quick as possible, my suggestion is to find another doctor who is health and exercise-oriented that would support that and help her achieve that, because there’s a lot of shitty doctors. Just because they get a doctor doesn’t mean they’re good at their job. Just like a car mechanic. Lots of car mechanics, doesn’t mean that they’re good at their job.

We’ve talked many times in the past about getting her back into therapy since she still has some childhood trauma (Not from her parents, but a tragic event) and she still suffers from general anxiety. She always says she’ll start looking for a therapist, but months go by and she hasn’t done anything to help herself besides take her meds.

Which obviously doesn’t seem like they’re working. At the end of the day, she’s got to participate in her own rescue, and if she’s not willing to do it, no amount of you pleading with her is going to change her. So if you sit down, you lay these things out, and she’s just adamant that she’s not going to do it, or she promises to do it and then doesn’t do it, well your choice is to put up with it or to leave and go find a woman who doesn’t have all these problems. Like I said, I’ve just found in my own experience that these these pills just do not work. They don’t help, and a lot of cases, it make things worse.

I mean, look at Rob Reiner. His son was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and they were screwing with his medication about a month or so before he went crazy and killed his parents. I believe because all mass shooters are always been on these psychotropic drugs, what I know about them is they turn off a person’s emotions and their empathy and when you have somebody that is suicidal or wants to do a bad act and they’re on psychotropic drugs, it’s like the governor is taking off and that’s why they go and do those things. People that have survived doing those kinds of events say they felt like they were an observer, like they weren’t actually committing the act. They were watching themselves commit the act unemotionally and totally unattached, and what they said was they felt nothing. That’s what these drugs do. They turn off your emotions and your empathy. It like makes you a fucking emotionless zombie. Again, Rob Reiner and his wife were trusting their doctors and they were just screwing around with, “Hey, try this, try that” different medications, and the guy went crazy and killed his parents.

So again, I’m not a big fan of him. I just have not, in my experience, seen that they worked. My mother was on Xanax in the 1980s, and that didn’t help her either. I mean, I wrote about that in Mastering Yourself, so I have a long history with these things.

Since she’s gotten into a new friend group in her PhD program, she also has started to do weed gummies every weekend now. I am fine with doing that stuff every once in a while, but I’m not an every weekend kind of guy.

Overall concern/Question: 
Now, as I’ve mentioned in the last email, she is loyal, sweet, and feminine around me, and I find her to be gorgeous. My concern is more about if she’s aligned with me long-term…

Well, your goals and values have to be aligned. At least right now, your political values are getting to the point where they’re going to be diametrically opposed. If she’s not willing to see things your side and as dogmatic, maybe you can talk to her about the clot shot. Well, what happens if that kind of shit happened again and you didn’t want to inject your kids with it? Would she support that or would she go and do it behind your back? And if she’ll go do it behind your back, then I would dip out. I would say, “This is not going to work, honey.”

…And if I’m holding myself back by being with someone who’s not 100% aligned with my goals & values. In other words, despite the fact that she would make a great mother one day, is it still worth considering leaving her and finding someone else?

Yeah well, if you can’t come to a meeting of the minds, a win-win deal on the issues with her medication, her political beliefs, and how you’re going to raise kids, that’s another thing. When you look at divorces, one of the big reasons why people get divorced is they have different values and perspectives on raising children. So you need to get that shit right, and it looks like you guys got a conflict there. So you need to talk that through. Again, if you can’t come to a meeting of the minds and a win-win deal where you both are totally aligned, then you got to tap out. Got to think about your kids and your future sanity.

Or am I taking for granted a “once in a decade” kind of girl? I am truly on the fence about this.

Thanks for your help,


Bob

Well, she may feel like a once-in-a-decade kind of girl, but it’s pretty clear your values and some of your goals are not aligned, and you guys have some serious conversations that you need to have.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.