Is Men Having Multiple Wives A Viable Option, Or Are Women Too Much Work?

How men can have multiple wives despite women being a lot of work to keep happy.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who asks about men having multiple wives in modern society and if it is even possible. He asks about Mormon and Muslim religions and cultures where this is permissible and how it works. It’s an interesting topic since monogamy is the norm in western society. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Is Having Multiple Wives A Viable Option, Or Are Women Too Much Work?”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer and he writes in and asks about men having multiple wives. Because obviously in modern society, or at least in the West, pretty much everybody’s just one person. And he also asks about Mormon and the Muslim religions, because I have clients in both. I have quite a few clients from the Middle East that have multiple wives.

So I thought it was an interesting question, especially from somebody in the West, because he’s wondering, “How does it work?” So let’s go through his email and discuss this, because this is an interesting topic. But one of the things I gotta say, it’s hard enough being with one woman, you have another. You have two women, two wives. You have kids with each of them.

It’s like one girl alone is a lot of work. Having two, it’s really hard. It’s not easy. And plus it’s expensive. I mean, just dating and modern life. I mean, you guys know, especially the last few years since all the inflation happened after the lockdowns and all the excessive amount of money printing, everything’s more expensive. I mean, just you and your girl it’s expensive to take her out to a nice place to eat, let alone having 2 or 3 kids.

And then if you’ve got multiple families, multiple wives, now you got to multiply that. It’s incredibly expensive and you’re not going to be broke as a joke having multiple wives and kids, because financially that’s just it’s pretty much impossible. If you don’t do really well, you’re not independently wealthy or very successful. So that little tidbit, let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Dear Coach Corey,

I hope this letter finds you well. I’ve been following your channel for quite some time and have always admired your thoughtful and insightful discussions on various topics. It’s truly inspiring to see how you’ve built such a strong and meaningful platform over the years. I appreciate the way you approach complex issues with clarity and nuance. I wanted to reach out to you with a question that has been on my mind for a while. As you know, plural marriage has been a part of certain cultures and religious traditions for centuries.

I mean, even in the Bible, you’ve got characters from the Bible that had multiple wives and families. So in ancient times, if the guy did well, or was well enough, he had enough cows, cattle or goats or whatever, enough resources. Because again, raising kids and having a family is extremely expensive. And if you’re going to have multiple families, multiple wives it’s really expensive. And it’s time intensive.

Those of you that are parents or that have been part time dads, you understand exactly what I’m talking about. A girl is a lot of work. Your wife’s a lot of work. Your baby mama’s a lot of work. And then you got the kids. And if you got pets, it’s like everybody wants your attention. And you’re trying to focus on your mission and your purpose. That’s really spreading the peanut butter thin.

Specifically, I’ve been thinking about how, in some societies, men are allowed to marry multiple wives, such as in some Muslim and Mormon fundamentalist communities. However, in modern America, where monogamy is the legal and social norm, this practice can seem out of place.

Yeah, I think majority of the states you can only marry one woman at a time, but obviously the Mormon religion, I don’t know, I guess maybe Utah, it might. I mean, maybe you guys can fact check me in the comments here. I’m not sure. But I assume like maybe Utah or a few other states in the United States, you’re able to do that because you have a lot of Mormons that live in that state. So obviously they voted and got the laws changed to to make it legal to do that. I know there is a famous TV show.

I can’t think of the name right now, Sister Wives or something like that. The guy, Cody, I think is his name. He’s a Mormon. He had like four wives. I mean, just watching that guy, but it’s pretty clear he doesn’t really understand women anyways. He’s a successful dude, but I think in the end it didn’t work out. I think he’s got just one wife now. I think the other three have all moved out and moved on. And I used to watch that show with an ex-girlfriend of mine because she loved trash TV.

It was interesting, but you can tell watching it. I mean, what if that guy had skills? What if the guy really understood My Book? But then again, you got to choose good partners that are easygoing, easy to get along with, women that aren’t going to get jealous of each other. That’s another thing. Women can be incredibly jealous because they worry about losing their protector. And so if you got multiple wives, multiple girlfriends, it’s kind of a double edged sword, because if they’re nice to you, you stick around.

If they’re not, then you just go and stay with the other girlfriend or the other wife. And every single one of my Muslim clients that does this, that has multiple wives, they don’t all live under the same roof. They each have their own house. And so they spend time with each family, and they go back and forth. And it can, it really does work to their advantage, especially if they got a woman that’s cranky and bitchy and is not very nice to them. Then they just go and stay with one of the other wives or the other wife if they got just two of them.

Same thing, they got kids, they got multiple houses. But that’s an expensive lifestyle, you know. These guys are living in Dubai or Saudi Arabia or wherever they happen to be. It costs a lot of money to have multiple houses and multiple wives. You got kids families with each. You got holidays. It’s like you’re not going to be some broke dude living that kind of lifestyle because it’s just financially it’s not possible because kids are expensive. I mean, again, like I was talking about at the beginning of the video, everybody knows, especially the last 3 or 4 years, how expensive everything’s gotten.

Just you taking a girl on a date to a nice place, maybe get a couple glasses of wine or you get a bottle of wine. I mean, you’re $150, $200 for a decent restaurant with good meal, a couple appetizers, dessert, a bottle or two. I mean, it just adds up so fast. So it’s not easy. And so, like I said, what’s funny is that the guys that I end up doing phone sessions with, especially the Muslim guys, it’s usually their wives, their first wives, they’re older, and they’re more established. The kids are a little older, and it’s the hot younger ones that are sassy, that they’re just nuts about, that they have a hard time with.

Because even though it’s accepted practice in their society, it’s if you act like a bitch, women are going to treat you like a bitch. And what oftentimes happens is these guys are with their older wives who they love, but they get with a really smoking, hot younger wife. And she’s sassy, she’s confident, and they do the same thing. They turn into the beta males that guys in the West do when they’re trying to date a girl they really like, they pedestalize her, they kiss her ass, and they don’t respect that. They don’t respect you acting weak.

And oftentimes they’ll come right out and say, “Hey, you should go stay with your other wife. Don’t put up with my crap.” And yet the guys are so pussy whipped, they just. They can’t help it. They stay around, they act like a doormat. And then the woman loses more respect and she becomes more bitchy. And so what I often work with them is how to handle that. If she treats you good, you spend time with her.

If she doesn’t, you can stay with the other wife. It’s a total attitude adjustment. And it works. I mean, it really works. If you want to spend time with your man, you got to be nice to him. Especially if the dude’s got multiple wives. And if you’re not, well, he’s just going to go hang out with his other wife and family. And then you and the other kids are going to suffer. And that’s the way it happens to be.

However, in modern America, where monogamy is the legal and social norm, this practice can seem out of place. My question is this: How do you think a man in today’s world, particularly in the U.S., can approach the idea of marrying multiple wives, assuming his current wife is supportive?

Well, again, most of the states are only going to allow you if you’re going to involve the state in your relationship to marry one. And so ideally, again, you’re going to have to talk to an attorney that’s versed in the laws of your state to come up with some kind of a legal structure. I mean, you can call each other wives, but legally, as far as the state is concerned, you’re kind of “partners”. Whether if you own property or real estate, you put it into a trust. Because like in Florida, you can have one homestead.

Well, if you have multiple wives living in Florida, you can only have one homestead. And in Florida, if you get sued or you have a big judgment against you, they can’t come and take your homestead, even if you got big judgments. I mean, O.J. lived in Florida until he passed away, and that was a big reason why is because they couldn’t take his house because of all the judgments and stuff for the wrongful death of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman, because he lost those civil lawsuits even though he won his criminal case.

But if you have multiple wives in the state of Florida and you got multiple houses. One’s going to be a primary residence and the other are going to be investment properties. And if you get sued and you lose, they’ll take your investment properties unless you’ve got them in some kind of a Trust or something like that. Again, and trusts are expensive to set up. They cost tens of thousands of dollars. It’s not, you know, something you pay $50 and you’re done with and you’re protected. It’s very expensive to set up and maintain, and you don’t have poor people starting Trusts.

Guys like Warren Buffett, Gates, all of them. They all have their money in Trusts. So again, you should consult an attorney. Like how are you going to own your property and under what kind of a legal structure you’re going to have that in to protect yourself. And also partnership agreements. Like what happens if you guys don’t stay together? Who’s going to do what? Who’s responsible for what? You got to work all that stuff out ahead of time. Again, because I’m dealing with people all over the world.

You have to get an attorney that’s licensed in your state or your country or your local area that can advise you on the legal structure you can have. Because I know in the States, most of the states do not allow you to marry more than one. So you’re going to be doing a civil arrangement anyways. And so the other thing is if you’re going to date and you want to have that, you have to be with women that are that, they’ve got to be easy going, easy to get along with. They’re going to be more spiritual, more open minded and not have a problem with that kind of thing.

And whoever you do date and get to be with, they’re going to have to be open to it as well. It could be maybe you become a Muslim, or maybe you become a Mormon, because those cultures, the religious values, that’s kind of a normal accepted thing. But like I said, one woman is enough work. Having multiple wives, it’s, that’s tough. That’s not, guys that choose that life, it’s difficult. But the best way to make it work is, again, if they treat you good, you’re going to spend more time with them.

If they don’t, you’ll just go stay with the other wife and family. That’s how they do it in Muslim Countries. And that’s most of my clients that have multiple wives that’s what they do. And it works quite well because they’re not going to put up with bullshit. She’s being an ass and she doesn’t stop then he’ll just go spend time with his other wife who’s nice to him. And then after a few days, she starts to miss him and begs him to come home and spend time with her. And he goes back and they have great make up sex, and she’s nice until she gets bitchy again.

And then he goes and stays with the other wife. It can really work to your advantage. It has the same effect. Like when you’re single and you’re not attached to anybody. And women know that you have other girls that really like you, especially if they’re really pretty. Girls get really competitive over that. And if they’re competitive and they fear losing you, they work harder to keep you and they’re more flexible. They submit more. They go along with what you want. It’s kind of counterintuitive.

But you know, again, not every woman, most women are not going to put up with that, but some of them will. Some of them are open to it. And so it just has to be the value system. You got to make sure in any relationship, you got to make sure your goals and values are aligned. Because he’s asking here, what about your current wife? Well, if your current wife is not down with that and you start dating other women to get other wives or other girlfriends or baby mamas, one of two things is going to happen.

She’ll protest and be pissed off, but ultimately submit and put up with it, or she’ll leave and that relationship will end, and you’ll basically be single again. But your goals and values have to be aligned first and foremost. And if the other woman that you already have is not going to go along with it. Well, if you’re going to go pursue what it is you really want, there’s a good chance you’re going to lose your existing relationship.

So it’s “How important is it to you to live this kind of lifestyle?” And again, the only way it really works is easygoing, easy to get along with. And like I said, all my Muslim clients, they don’t have everybody in the same house. They all live in different houses and it keeps everybody honest, or keeps the ladies honest. It keeps them from causing too much drama or being too much of a pain in the ass. Because you can literally physically go to a different location.

What kind of conversation or values do you think would need to be in place to successfully convince a woman to join a plural marriage in such a context?

Well, it’s not convince a woman to join. She has to be open to that kind of thing. In other words, she’s got to share that value system. Because again, most women are not going to be down. They’re going to want one guy and one guy all to himself. And so you have to understand that if you want to live this way, you’re going to lose out on a lot of opportunities. I mean, you think of one famous person in the West here that had a situation like that, you had we all remember Hugh Hefner, but those girls were basically there because of the magazine, they wanted to be famous, and they would stick around 5 to 7 years, and then they would move on and he would get a new set of 2 or 3 girlfriends.

And so it was like, was that really a dude with multiple wives? Multiple girlfriends? Not really. It’s like they were there until they got what they needed and then they moved on, and then he just replaced them with the next group. He looked at like a Dan Bilzerian. I mean, these were all models that were basically paid to be a part of his company, and some of them liked him and some of them wanted to hook up with him. I mean, those things are going to happen. It’s just like if you work in a company and you work with a lot of women, and you work with a lot of beautiful women.

I mean, when you look at statistically, how people meet, one of the biggest places where people say they met their significant other was at work. Like, attracts like. People that like the same things tend to like each other. But in the MeToo era, you got to be really careful about how you go about that. And that’s why it’s always better, especially if you’re working in the corporate world or even in your own business, that its the women that are going to make the first move. The women are going to come on to you. If you’re a successful guy, you’re fit, you’re in shape, you’re charming, you’re playful, you own the stuff that’s in 3% Man.

And you know it backwards and forwards. You’re going to be attractive to a lot of different women. And what you’ll notice, especially when you’re in like a closed social group, whether you work together or your peer group, if you’re sleeping with one hot girl that everybody knows, the other hot girls will oftentimes become more aggressive and more attracted to you, and then they’ll try harder to get with you. But like I said, it’s best, especially in the modern age, that when women like you, they’re going to put themselves into your orbit. And the best way, like I’ve talked about this in many previous videos, is that you go out and you do group things.

When you go out and you do group things, group happy hours, or fun events. When a girl from the office likes you, what’s she going to do? She’s going to come stand next to you and near to you, start bumping into you and make it obvious that she likes you without going out of her way, to the point where she embarrasses herself by asking you out or whatever. She’ll come near you and spend a lot of time talking with you in hopes that you isolate her, and the two of you go off and hang out, have fun, and hook up together. It’s just part of the sexual process. It’s not something that should happen at the office.

It’s something that’s better in a group setting. Like, say, everybody goes to happy hour and then one by one, people leave. And then it’s just you and the girl that really likes you. And then next thing you know, you’re going back to your house to hang out and have fun and hook up. And if you give her a good experience and you don’t tell anybody and you keep it to yourself and people ask you, “Hey, did you hook up with so-and-so? Or you guys seem to be having a good time?” It’s like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It’s like, “Come on, you hooked up with her.” It’s like, “Hey, gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell.”

But girls have a big mouth. And I remember there was a study years ago. I think it was the average woman can keep a secret for about seven minutes. I think it is until she’s got to tell somebody. So if you showed the girl a good time and she had lots of happy finishes, lots of nice orgasms, and you don’t mention anything, you don’t brag to the other guys in the office nobody knows. She’ll tell somebody, and the word will get out. “Oh, so-and-so hooked up with Bob. And she said he was amazing.”

That gets around and she still thinks you’re the shit. Then the other girls in the office will start to become more aggressive towards you. It’s amazing how that works. So really it’s about it’s about setup. And because the worst thing is to go and hook up with somebody at the office or somebody in your social circle, and the sex is bad, or you were a dick to her, or you jerked her around, now she’s going to be telling everybody that or worse. You go and you brag about it and you make the girl look bad. Now you just cock block yourself with every other woman that you could have hooked up with.

So it’s much better if they have a pleasant experience and you keep your mouth shut. Because again, like it says in The Book, gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. You keep it to yourself. More than likely the woman is going to blab, because again, because women can’t keep their mouth shut, they got to tell somebody, especially juicy gossip like that. So again, it should be part of your lifestyle. It’s like, how would you even get to that point in the West? And if a girl wants to lock you down, you say, “Well, I’m down, but I want to have other girlfriends, or I want to have other wives, or I want to have kids with multiple women.”

I mean, look at Elon Musk. He doesn’t stay with just one woman. He’s with one woman for a few years. He has a few kids, and then he moves on, and then he has a few kids with her. I mean, his goal is he wants to have as many children as possible because he’s living his principles and he’s living his values, and he’s not marrying any of them since the second wife, that he actually married her, I think her name is Tallulah. He married her twice, but he didn’t have any kids with her. And so apparently the woman he’s with now is somebody that works at one of his companies that he met through work.

She’s super smart and he doesn’t really talk about it. We just know that he’s had kids. And before that, he had, what’s her name? The singer Grimes. I think it was. They had 1 or 2 kids together. And I mean, from a woman’s perspective, having Elon Musk’s kids, a guy that’s as smart and successful as that. If you have a son or a daughter, what do you think’s going to happen, say you become one of Elon Musk’s baby mama’s. Probably going to be smart, set up for life. Your kids are going to be amazing. You can make great humans together.

But that’s how he’s doing it. He’s not marrying and staying with one. He’s just being a dad and being a business owner and an entrepreneur. So that’s another way that guy’s doing it. But again, he’s not staying with one person, one wife. But I think the one that he’s with now, he’s been with for a couple of years, I’ve seen some pictures, but he doesn’t talk about it. He doesn’t blab about his personal life. He’s just having babies and being a dad and running his companies. And he’s not kissing and telling.

He talks about having children, but he doesn’t talk about his relationship at all, which I think is amazing. And that’s why I never talk about what I’m doing. I like to keep my personal life private. I try to live my values. Gentlemen, don’t kiss and tell. That’s not why I’m not blabbing. I do have some girls from the book that you guys know that I talk about, but it’s in the context of teaching from those specific examples where I learned things. Other than that, I’d like to be like James Bond. Nobody knows. It’s more fun that way.

And women appreciate that. If you can be discreet and not fucking feel like you’re, you know, a frat bro having to brag, you know? “Oh, I got laid the other night.” Like, it’s not really an accomplishment. Especially when you’re 54. It’s like, so what? The sky is blue. Big fucking deal. So again, you have to live your values. And if you’re married to somebody to try to change it. You say you want to have other wives or other girlfriends or other baby mamas. There’s a really good chance that the woman you’re with is not going to be down for that. And she may leave you. So that’s your downside risk. It may cost you your current relationship, and then you got nobody until you find somebody who is down for it.

It won’t make sense to walk up to any girl and tell her that “I’m married and I want you to be the second one or third one”.

Well, yeah. You’re never going to say anything like that. All relationships start as casual hanging out, having fun and hooking up. You got to learn The Book. You got to read The Book. And the fact that you wrote a paragraph like that and said something like that tells me you probably don’t really even know The Book. And so again, women are not light switches. You don’t just go and switch them on and go, “Hey, your wife number two, another light switch. Hey, there’s wife number three.” It doesn’t work that way, Dude.

All relationships start from casual hanging out, having fun, hooking up. You look at Elon’s current girl, it’s like, they met at work. We don’t know any of the particulars. Because again, he keeps his mouth shut. We just know that he met a girl that worked at one of his companies. They really clicked. She’s super smart. And at some point they start having kids. He didn’t say, “Oh, my girlfriend’s pregnant.” He said nothing at all. We just know is that he has more children. Good for him. He keeps it discreet. But that’s the way it should be. He’s just working. He’s living his purpose. He’s living his mission.

Somebody who had similar goals, similar values, didn’t mind the fact that he have been married a couple of times and had several baby mamas. She didn’t care. She was cool with it. It’s like, hey, she wanted to be a baby mama. They’re co-parenting children together. So also, if you’re going to date and be in a relationship, make sure it’s a girl that loves kids and really wants to be a mom. And if you’ve got kids of your own already, she’s got to love being a mom so much, she feels like it’s her duty to help raise your existing children and be a good stepmom to them.

Again, a woman who doesn’t like kids is not the right person for that. So she’s got to be family oriented. She’s got to love children. She’s got to be open to it. And you have to be in your masculine because women are not going to stick around for a guy that’s being a bitch. Again, all you have to do is watch the Mormon guy, Cody, I can’t remember the name of the show. Maybe you guys can put it in the comments. I can’t think of the name of it right now, but just watching that guy interact with his wives, it’s like he doesn’t understand women, but the fact that he had four different women, he could always bounce back and forth between each of them.

And that helped for a period of time. But now I think he’s just with one of those four that he was with. because again, it’s not easy. It’s not easy being with one, let alone through 2 or 3 in there. So like I said, the way it works in Muslim Countries, they have their own houses and everybody’s kept separate. You look at somebody in the West, usually they have multiple baby mamas and they’re not married. So I think in my opinion, if you live in the West, that’s the better route to go if you want to have multiple baby mamas.

Because, I mean, if you look historically also, guys would get married, have a family and at some point they get divorced and then they would get married again and have a family with that wife and I mean, look how many famous people that have come and gone over the last hundred years. They had 4 or 5 wives and they had kids with each of them. But you don’t really need to involve the state and actually go and get married. You just have a baby mommy. Look at what’s his name, Nick Cannon. He’s got six kids with 4 or 5 different women, something like that.

But then the question is, are you able to spend time with the children so they grow up and they’re normal and they don’t grow up and are fucked up? That’s the other thing you got to have the time to spend with your kids. You can’t just have a bunch of kids and then never be around. Because then your kids are going to grow up and have daddy issues, and you don’t want that either. So it’s a lot of work. One woman alone is a lot of work. So it will just have to be something you really want. I suspect this guy doesn’t have any girl, and he’s just contemplating all this stuff.

And I don’t think he’s even, doesn’t seem like he’s read the read The Book after looking at some of the questions he’s asked in this email. So again, it’s not convincing her to join. It’s just this is who you are. This is your lifestyle. I would phrase it that, you know, you just want to be a good dad and you’re open to have kids with multiple women. And you don’t believe in traditional marriage, or you don’t believe in just being with one person forever.

And that can work to your advantage, because when you kind of have that perspective, what’s the woman going to do? I’m going to get him all to myself. That’s the way they think they’re going to try to get you to change your mind. Like even Hugh Hefner, with the fact that they were there for the money and the fame and everything, they all thought at some point they were going to get him all to themselves. And a couple of them did. But they, you know, it didn’t last. They got him to themselves for a short period of time.

Lol. So how do these guys do it? And if they tell her later, she would run away…

I’m curious about your take on how communication, consent, and shared beliefs would play a role in navigating this kind of relationship. I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether this lifestyle can still be viable in a modern, Western society, and how it could potentially be approached with respect and fairness for all involved. 

Thank you for your time and for all the wisdom you’ve shared over the years. I look forward to hearing from you!

Warm regards,  

Bob

Well, like I said, I think the better way in Western society is having multiple baby mamas. Again, look at like what Elon Musk is doing. You know, he didn’t get along well enough with his first wife to stay with her. But I think they had five kids together. And then his second wife, who I think he married her twice. They never had kids, but she was a stepmom to his children. And then the women that came after that. I know of Grimes, I know of the current woman he’s with. I think there might have been a third one there. I’m not really sure because again, he doesn’t brag about it.

He doesn’t even really talk about it. He just loves his kids, wants to be a good dad. So I think that’s more viable in Western society. And again, my Muslim clients, they keep them separate in separate households. So that’s what’s actually working in the real world. But like I said, having all the women under one roof. I haven’t seen anybody in in my coaching business. That or even emails I’ve gotten from anybody that lives with multiple women, that has kids with all of them all under one roof. Everybody’s kept separate.

And that’s the way it works. That’s what I’ve seen. That’s what actually 20 years of doing this, doing tens of thousands of phone sessions over the last couple of decades, countless emails, countless Video Newsletters. That’s what I see. So it’s a lot of work, and you got to have money to do it. It’s not cheap. So you really need to think long and hard if that’s what you really want, if it’s really for you.

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