Is She A Nut Or Should I Give Her Another Chance?

How to know if the woman you are dating is a nut or if she deserves another chance.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He had 4 dates with a girl who is really shy and won’t progress things beyond kissing. The last time they were together she came out of his bathroom upset that there were blonde hairs in his hairbrush and asked him to take her home. She turned her head when he went to kiss her goodbye. He asks what it all means. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “Is She A Nut Or Should I Give Her Another Chance?”.

Well, if you apply what’s in the book, the book is designed to bring out the best in the best women, and to bring out the worst and the worst women as quickly as possible so you can move on. You want a girl with a healthy self-esteem who is raised right, whose Father did a good job of raising her. Who’s easygoing, easy to get along with, and most importantly, she’s got to be nice to you. And she’s got to communicate like an adult.

A girl from a broken home, a girl who’s incredibly insecure is going to get upset really fast when you’re applying what’s in the book. And when that happens, you can set a healthy boundary and tell her what your expectations are if she wants to keep seeing you, but you’re not going to deal with that. Because this particular guy had four dates. He said he really likes shy girls and this girl shy, but she won’t progress anything beyond kissing. He can’t get a single article of clothing off. And so the last time they were together, she came out of his bathroom and, you know, they were fooling around.

She goes into the bathroom, comes out, she comes out all pissed off and says, “There are blonde hairs in your hairbrush. I want you to take me home.” He made a joke about, “Well, maybe they’re your hairs or mine.” I don’t know, maybe they’re both blondes. And then she turned her head when he went to kiss her goodbye. He’s like, I haven’t heard from her at all. And that’s usually not a good sign. But the fact that she goes into his bathroom and gets mad because I mean, she’s looking at the hairs in his hairbrush. It’s like they’ve been on four dates, they haven’t had sex or anything yet.

And she’s upset because she’s examining his stuff in his bathroom, which that’s kind of weird. And plus copping an attitude about that. That’s not a good sign at all. Definitely no bueno. So I mean, it looks like she might be really insecure. Maybe a little nutty. But again, this is why you apply what’s in the book. You want to find out if you’re dealing with a normal woman or a nut as quickly as possible. And if she’s a nut, then you can dip. You don’t want to find out four months later.

You want to find out within days or weeks, if possible. Because the more emotionally invested you become and she becomes, the harder it is to disengage. Because when you really like her and she really likes you and you find out she’s a nut, you go, well, maybe I can make this work. And then just things keep happening. You’re like, “Oh, well, it was a one off. Okay, well, it’s only happened a couple of times.” And, “Okay. Well, it only happens every once in a while.” And then you talk yourself into putting up with absolutely ridiculous things.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey,

I have been following your work recently and have been trying to use your principles on a woman I am seeing now. I am currently on my second read of 3% Man and have been listening on Audible too. I need your help to try and figure out what I have been doing wrong with this woman that I am dating now. So, in the beginning this woman asked to follow me on Instagram and put me on her best friends.

So that usually means she really likes you.

I had never seen her before. I responded to one of her stories and we started talking. She said to me that she saw me in the Hospital one day, I work as a Doctor there. That signaled to me that she had high attraction, so I tried to set a date. We met on the following week and I asked her a lot of questions during the date, we had a good time. After eating our food I asked for the paycheck, and I could see the disappointment in her eyes as she wanted to continue to talk.

Well, as the book says, you should be going to like three locations. First place could be like maybe a wine bar, you know, especially if you guys are on a budget and you’re just out a glass of wine if you don’t click. But if it goes really well, you can have a glass of wine, maybe an appetizer, or you go someplace else, maybe for a light dinner. And then after that, maybe a Dave & Buster’s or shoot some pool, or throw some darts, bowling, miniature golf, even Top Golf. You could go to a Top Golf because then you can do something physical, hitting golf balls, and you can eat and drink there as well.

I think Top Golf is a great place to take a date, and it’s a lot of fun because there’s lots of people there and it’s just got a great vibe. But at the end of the day, if you do something physical or like a Dave & Buster’s playing video games, it facilitates her touching you. And when she starts touching you, you can use “The Kiss Test.” (How To Be A 3% Man, Part VI: The Kiss Test, Page 164). And if she looks receptive, then you can go for the kiss. And usually it takes most women about 4 or 5 hours to be ready to sleep with you when you first start dating.

I noticed she was very shy too, I am very attracted to shy women. We got in my car, and I asked her if she wanted to go to my place. She agreed.

That’s a high level of interest.

We started kissing and cuddling on the couch for a lot of time, things would progress, but she would refuse to take her clothes off or have sex.

Well, are you asking her to take the clothes off? You should be just slowly undressing. It’s always best if you’re making out your hands kind of go up her shirt or blouse, and then you can with your fingers, if you know the trick to undo the bra, strap with your two fingers and see what happens. If she stops you, then it means you’re going a little too fast. But if she lets the bra strap stay undone, then you can slowly move your hands around to the front and you can caress her boobies. If she allows you to do that, then you can just go “woop” with the shirt, the blouse and it comes right off. She may stop you.

She may let you do it. If she’s really comfortable, she’ll let you do it. And then you can continue making out and then slowly remove articles of clothing. But if you encounter resistance, then you stop moving forward. You kind of sit back. Start asking questions and talking. She may put some of her clothes back on, and a delay is not a denial. It doesn’t mean you just give up. A lot of guys kind of do that, and all it really means is you’re just going a little too fast, so slow it down a little bit.

She is very shy, and I think she is still a virgin. I dropped her off at her house and she sent me a text later saying that she had a great time, and I said the same thing. I waited four days to reach out to her.

Again, what we’re trying to do is take measured steps, one date per week that you reach out and initiate to her. But once she starts reaching out every couple of days, you don’t really have to reach out or initiate anymore. You just wait to hear from her. And then when you do assume she wants to see you, then you make the next date. And as her interest goes up, the amount of time in between her reaching out gets shorter and shorter until ultimately five, six, seven weeks in, she’s going to be texting you, calling you, FaceTiming you usually a couple times a day.

That’s assuming you’re following what’s in the book. If she’s really insecure and you’re just doing the once a day week thing as her interest goes up, and if she’s a nut, she’s going to react angrily to you. She’s going to find reasons to get mad. “You didn’t text me enough. You haven’t been calling me enough. You haven’t done this.” Again. Easy going, easy to get along with. And she’s got to be nice. You don’t want to deal with a cranky bitch or a cranky Karen. No fucking way.

I waited four days to reach out to her and set a second date that went well too, we still kissed, and she even touched my genitals.

He sounds like a doctor. She touched my genitals, Coach.

But did not let me take her clothes off again. Four days after, I reached out and set a third definite date, she agreed but I could sense something was off. Ten minutes before the date she sent a text saying that I would always disappear and that she didn’t want to date if it was just casual. I answered saying that I liked her and just wanted to know her and see where things would go, then she accepted the date. we got to my place after, and we would always progress things, but she wouldn’t let me take her clothes off or have sex. On the fourth date we were making out at my place, and it was progressing well, then she asked to use the bathroom.

Usually they go in there to freshen up a little bit in case the cunnilingus is going to happen. She might do a little spring cleaning downstairs.

When she got back she seemed upset and said that she saw the blonde hair in my hairbrush, I knocked it off and said it was probably her hair or mine in a playful way.

I don’t know, are you guys both blonde I’m guessing? And if she is blonde and you’re blonde but she’s never used your brush. If you have blonde hair and she’s mad that there’s blonde hair in your brush, then that’s a little cuckoo. But say you don’t have blonde hair and she noticed there is blonde hair in there, then Operational Security! What the fuck, Dude?

Do you have your brush in your bathroom with somebody else’s hair? It’s like, come on, man. That’s like obvious Operational Security Dudes. Don’t have women’s jewelry laying around or lipstick from another girl. Because women will do that shit. They’ll leave shit behind to let other women know that, “Hey, another chick has been there.” And so it appears she is thinking you shouldn’t be dating or seeing anybody else. And she’s probably not either; maybe. But then again, what are we looking for? Easygoing, easy to get along with. And she has got to be nice. Does this sound like she’s easygoing?

After that she didn’t want to kiss me anymore and said she wanted to leave.

Huh. Well, that’s not good.

On the way to her home she didn’t talk at all.

I would have been like, “Why you’re so quiet?” It’s like, “Are you okay? It’s like, “What’s going on?” I would have said something.

I tried to kiss her goodnight, and she turned the cheek.

Now she’s clearly pissed off. And so it’s pretty obvious she thought there’s blonde hair in the hairbrush because she thinks you’re boning somebody else. Maybe you are, but the fact that you’ve got another girl’s hair in your hairbrush, it’s not good. Or maybe you’ve got a sister that came over. It’s like, “Oh, it’s my sisters. Oh, it’s probably my sister’s blonde hair. She was using my brush the other day.” Oh, but maybe you don’t have a sister. Again, it’s just bad Operational Security. You’re getting sloppy.

After that I saw her at my gym two times, but she would just wave and smile at me, but still kept her distance. I didn’t go to her because I didn’t want to chase and risk turning her off.

Well, it looks like she’s already kind of turned off. And the fact that she looks at you and smiles and waves and doesn’t even pay attention to you, something’s changed.

I just smiled and waved back to her both times. I feel like she is trying to avoid me.

Well, that’s not a good sign.

It’s been three days since our last date, and I didn’t contact her yet. what do you think I should do in that case? Did I turn her off because I couldn’t progress to sex? Or she probably thinks that I am just trying to get in her pants?

Well, again, if she’s turning the head like that, she’s clearly pissed off. Maybe she’s a little structured, but that’s passive aggressive behavior. Again, I would ask some questions, and I know a lot of you guys that are kind of new to my work are kind of afraid to ask women things like, “What’s going on? You seem a little distant, honey. Talk to me.”

Should I talk to her at the gym next time I see her?

Or wait one week and then reach out? What do you think I may have done wrong at this one?

Well, if she comes by. Yeah, but if she’s staying over there; so say what I would probably do in this case, because, I mean, the fact that she gave you the cheek and she demanded that she wanted to leave, that’s not a good sign. It seems like she’s totally turned off. And then she’s at the gym won’t come up to you. She’s being nice and respectful, but it’s almost like she doesn’t want to see you again. So what I would do in this case, I think there’s a low probability that she’s going to want to go out with you again. So if it was me, I would wait two weeks just to see if she reaches out to you. Or maybe she comes over to you in the gym and see if that has a positive effect on her.

And if you don’t hear from her for two weeks, I would text her and say, “Hey, you know, I’d love to see you again. What’s your schedule like?” And if she’s mad or cops an attitude or tells you she’s not interested, then you know, she might say, “Well, after I saw the hairbrush, I was pretty sure you’re dating somebody else.” It’s like, “Again, I don’t know what the deal is with the hairbrush.” Again, if you don’t have blonde hair and she never used it and she does have blonde hair, Maybe she thinks you’re just trying to bone her and she’s ultra conservative, or she’s structured. Because again, is she easy going? Is she easy to get along with?

It sure looks like she’s difficult. And the fact that she turned her head, why would you want to reach out after only four days? Because she turned her head, gave you the cheek. That’s not good. I would wait two full weeks, 14 days. If you still don’t hear from her, I would text her, try to set up another date. But I would say the chances of her accepting that are pretty low. And especially if she cops an attitude and she’s all angry, then you can say, “Look, we only went out on a handful of dates. We haven’t been sleeping together. I barely know you, I like you, I’d like to get to know you better, but the fact that you’re getting mad and angry and you’re insulting me, it’s like. That’s not a good sign. And so if you want to continue seeing me, you’re gonna have to be nice. And you need to apologize for being rude.”

If she’s being rude to you. And if she doesn’t, then just say, “Well, we’re clearly not a good fit. So it was nice meeting you. I wish you all the best. Take care.” But like I said, the probability that you’ll get another date doesn’t look good when she cuts the date short and then won’t kiss you when you drop her off. It’s almost like she’s checked out. And the fact that she sees you and smiles and waves but doesn’t do anything. Like I said, I would wait about two weeks just to see if she reaches out to you, and if she cops an attitude; in other words, if you get anything other than, “Oh, I’m so glad to hear from you.” Or, “Oh, I didn’t think you wanted to see me anymore.”

That’s a good sign. But she’s like, “Oh, I haven’t heard from you in two weeks. I’m not interested. You should have texted me.” If she’s mad and cranky, she’s out. That means she’s a nut. But either way, it’s a good learning experience. But like I said the likelihood that you’ll see her again, it doesn’t look good. Maybe she’ll be in a different headspace. Who knows in a few weeks. That’s why it’d be best to wait two weeks, see if she reaches out, and then see what her attitude is like when you do reach out after two weeks.

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