Is She Flirting, Or Just Being Nice?

Mar 3, 2012 by Coach Corey Wayne

Here’s how to tell when a woman is flirting with you because she likes you & when she’s just being nice. The mating dance has a lot of subtle nuances you must become good at recognizing in order to maintain attraction with a woman you like, and to make it go higher. There are times when you want to come on strong and be direct. There are also times when you need to back off and give her the space to miss you and to make sure you’re not the stalker type, or a guy who does not get it when it comes to understanding women and the mating dance. Guys get frustrated when things don’t go their way right away and accuse women of playing games. The “playing games label” is simply a way that many men use to disassociate themselves from responsibility for their own actions when they do not understand a woman’s behavior, or have done something to turn her off. Most women like the attention of men who find them attractive. However, they hate the attention from men who do not understand attraction, or men who continue to pursue even when they’ve said no. Women love to flirt not only when they like a guy and are single and available, but also when they are in happy, loving and fulfilling relationships. So it’s important to know what to look for when trying to determine if a woman is flirting with you because she likes you and wants you, and when she’s flirting just because she enjoys the attention of a man.

If you are on the fence and unsure of whether she likes you or not, it’s always best to risk rejection and ask her for a date to make sure so you don’t walk around for the next week kicking yourself, and regretting the fact you did not open your mouth. Women who like you romantically will play with their hair, touch your arm, stand too close, ask you personal questions about yourself and your life, etc. when you are talking with them. It’s also possible to re-attract women who initially rejected you because you acted too needy and tried to force things with them. The key is to back off and let them come to you exclusively. It’s admitting to yourself that you messed up because you chased too much, and having the guts to not call, text, e-mail, message, etc. when you want more than anything to try and force contact with her. The following is an e-mail from a reader who has written me previously. He appeared to be attracting a girl he really liked, that is, until he started acting weak, needy and got himself rejected. Over the past 10 days he has exercised some emotional self-control, and now the girl is starting to initiate contact once again. He’s unsure if it’s because she likes him, or if she’s just being nice. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Corey,

Well, here is an update from my last email I sent you. Since I don’t contact her any more, it seems that she is finding little things to call my extension to talk about work. (It’s possible she’s starting to come back a little now. That is why you must let women come to you at their own pace. When you chase them, they disappear.) So on Thursday, she asked me why I didn’t call her last Friday like I said I would. I said, “you left.” Her response was, “I probably did.” In return I said, “well, I’m not going to stalk a girl” and then that was the end of the conversation. So the following week she calls my extension to talk about “work” and asked why I sounded so tired? In response to that I say, “I was having fun.” When in fact I just went to sleep late. So at the end of the conversation she says, “well, we still “love ya over here.” (Possible response to that: “Well, then we should meet up for some drinks so you can show me how much you love me with your lips and that sexy body of yours! When are you free to meet up?” Then set a definite date. If she says no, then say, “give me a call if you change your mind and want to get together.” Walk away and wait for her to call you again. Every time she calls you after that, do the same thing. She’ll probably say yes. Why? She called you! That’s chasing you because women prefer to chase men. By allowing women to come to you at their own pace, you allow their feelings for you to grow. You must give women that time. The mother of one of my former girlfriends who I wrote about in my book actually said to me: “Corey, you must give women the time to miss you so their feelings can develop and build for you slowly over time.” That same girlfriend also said, “Let me come to you. Don’t try to force things.” Women help you when they like you. They want you to get it right.) So on my way out to lunch, she sees me leaving with a female co-worker who is very attractive, (Awesome! Good job! You should be dating and hanging out with as many beautiful women as possible. It will put you in a non-hungry state with an abundance mentality. It will give you swagger. This will make you more attractive to all women and make it even easier to get even more women! You will no longer fear messing up with one girl because there will be plenty of others to fall back on if you screw up. Over time, you’ll eventually meet and fall in love with a woman who you spend more and more time with her, and less and less time with the other women you are dating.) and she kisses me hello again. So my question is, why act this way when she avoided me, and told me she has no interest in me at all? (Because you were acting like a needy jackass before. This causes women to feel uncomfortable when you don’t understand the mating dance and how attraction works. Now you are acting indifferent and confident and she is contacting you again.) I also found out she is in a long distance relationship. So I’m starting to think it’s all attention seeking behavior? (It’s possible. However, she’s contacting you again. Don’t chase, call or contact her in any way unless you are returning her call, text or message. Just simply try to set up a definite date to meet up for drinks next time she calls about “work related stuff.” Continue meeting and dating other women. You’ll start to develop a reputation as a ladies man. That can only help you get laid even more! You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Tom

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Published on March 3, 2012

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hey coach,
    I just got hired for a new job. Anyways before starting my job i wanted to switch the size of my uniform. When i went to go switch it i met one of my new coworkers. She started the conversation first and started joking around with me. I didnt think much of it since i met alot of other new coworkers. But ever since i started working shes been all over me touching me. Looking at me calling me adorble,cute,handsome,papi, and sexy. She unties my apron, she leans her head on my shoulder. I thought it was funny so i just played along. I gave her a ride home once because it was late, even though she lives close by. Theres was this one time where i was wearing an apron and had a towl in the front pocket. I was talking to my manager at that time and she came by and pulled it out of my apron placing her hand close to my crotch. When the manager noticed she tried to play it off and reached for something else but she still took my towl i forgot to ask her about that. The most recent thing she did was when my shift ended. I was walking out the door and she called me to come back. She took me to the back break room where it was alone and asked me if that was my soda, which it obviously wasnt, and asked me to throw it away. I told her “no thats not mine” and I played along and said “damn you’re missing me already huh?” She said “yeah you know it” then she said “your stuble is starting to grow” i said “yeah i have to cut it” she said “no! It looks cute” she reaches her hands to my face and told me “come here” she put her hands on my face to feel my stuble. It was kinda of akward for me but funny at the same time. My question is what is her deal? Should i play along and let whatever happen happen?

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