Is She Relationship Material?

What really drives men to focus on a relationship and commitment and how this can be counterproductive to attraction and causing women to fall in love with them.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a thirty-six year old viewer who has been following my work for about two years. He says he has gone from being at rock bottom in his life, to going back to college to pursue the career he feels he was born to do. He is now in the best shape of his life and the happiest he has ever been. He has had six dates with the most beautiful and amazing woman he has ever dated. She is thirty, pursuing the same college and career path as him, and she tells him that the chemistry between the two of them is unbelievable.

He is concerned about the fact she still seems to enjoy partying and is probably dating other men, even though he has a sexy fuck buddy of his own, but he’s really just fearful of getting hurt because he really cares for her and wonders if she is good relationship material. He is being challenged with his own internal fears, doubts and insecurities to overcome them, but he is doing an outstanding job of turning his life around these the past two years so he can reach his full potential. I tell him what he should be focusing on going forward so she falls in love and wants all of his attention and time.

“Fear of loss, unworthiness, rejection, inadequateness and that you simply don’t measure up or aren’t good enough, is like a virus of certain self-sabotage and failure. When we fear an undesired outcome, our natural human instinct is to take action to gain some certainty and peace of mind. In relationships, this can cause both men and women who are struggling with fears of not being good enough, to over-pursue, act creepy, stalkerish, needy, weak and in ways that literally scare and drive the other person away. The best way to counter this mentally is to focus on accepting the possibility that you may lose them forever despite your best efforts, and be ok with it when you feel the urge to do something or lock them down to a commitment. Less really is more when you are in a fearful state. Love in such a way that the person you love will always feel free to come and go, and to choose you, or not choose you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne