Is She Trying To Make Me Jealous?

How women will sometimes try to make you jealous after a breakup with a new man.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who was dating a woman who was flaky and unreliable. She very rarely would reach out first and he would contact her about once per week. Sometimes she was happy to hear from and see him. Other times she would be busy or flake. He started dating another woman and she found out. Now she keeps showing up to his work and other places with her new boyfriend. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne, and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “Is She Trying To Make Me Jealous?”.

Well, obviously, because I’ve been through this email, she’s definitely trying to make him jealous. But it just goes to show rejection breeds obsession. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a man or a woman. Whoever gets rejected their interest tends to go through the roof and it completely changes their attitude. Scarcity creates value, and the ultimate value creation is when you reject the other person.

Especially when they don’t want to be rejected. But I like this email just because you kind of get to see what happens from a woman’s perspective, how a woman behaves when she’s the one getting dumped. And what I like about what this guy did is he didn’t like her behavior. She was being difficult instead of easy going, easy to get along with. And she wasn’t nice to him. So good on him.

A man with a healthy self-esteem is going to eject when a woman is insufferable and difficult. And it looks like this girl also might be a little structured. So that’s another good email, you know, if you spot this kind of behavior in a woman, you need to do what this guy did and eject. But it is amusing how she got a new boyfriend and started showing up with this guy, I guess apparently at his work.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey,

My name is Bob, I’m 26 and from Australia.

The land down under.

I’m new to your work and intend on reading your book a whole bunch of times this year.

Well, ideally 10 to 15 times, and then every six months I would recommend you go through it. And the best way to really learn it and retain the information is the most important thing is, you don’t want to be driving around or listen to the audiobook while you’re working out as like background noise. You want to really concentrate on it.

So I highly recommend you get the audiobook and then you follow along with the audiobook with a digital or a physical copy. So you’re looking at the words as you’re hearing them being spoken. And if you put the audiobook on 2X, you can get through it in four hours. So by doing that, you’re really concentrating on the words that are being spoken. And it’s the best way to get the information into your brain so you retain it.

I started seeing a girl I already knew from my local town for only a few weeks last year and I think she tried to play “hard to get” with me. It seemed like she had a medium level of interest and would suggest hanging out more but would rarely initiate contact.

So women that do that either have a low interest or they’re structured.

When I did contact her once on a weekly basis, she was always warm and flirty but getting her to meet up with me was like flipping a coin. Sometimes she was happy to hang out and other times she was either “busy” or would flake.

So what that tells me is I suspect she probably read the book, “The Rules”, which, I don’t think it’s been out 20 plus 30 years, whatever it is. It’s been out a long time. And what “The Rules” book does is it tells women to not return a guy’s phone call. It tells them to say you’re busy when he calls for a date. It tells them to make dates and then cancel and flake on the guy because that’ll really get them hooked to you. But obviously, guys in my work come across a woman that’s behaving that way, and they recognize it as structured and unnatural.

And after a while he just got fucking sick of it. And at the end of the day, if you’re making dates and she’s flaking, you don’t ask a girl out. If say, you have a date set and she cancels for whatever reason, doesn’t bring up a reschedule, Doc Love’s rule was, “One chance per girl per lifetime.” So if you make a date and she flakes at the last minute, doesn’t mention a reschedule and is real monotone in her response, then you never call.

You never invite her out again unless she reaches out to you and brings up getting together. Then you can invite her over to make dinner, hang out and have fun and hook up. But usually women that behave like this, especially if they’re following the book, “The Rules” they’re again, it’s structured. And I lay that out in 3% Man, these are the kind of women you want to avoid. Because they’ll make your life hell.

Remember, you want her to make your dick hard, not your life. A girl who’s, “I’m busy.” Again, it just looks like she’s either doing it on purpose or she had low interest. But the fact that, as you see what happens here, it’s interesting. She acted like she really didn’t give a shit. And then he kind of took it as like, well, her interest isn’t that high. She’s not really making much of an effort, so I’m just going to move on.

Knowing that I shouldn’t chase or over-pursue, I decided to back off entirely and started spending time with another woman instead. After she noticed that I was seeing someone else, she went and got a new boyfriend. Now she has walked through my street, past my house and has even came into my work with her new boyfriend. Is she trying to make me jealous?

Thanks for the work you do.

Yep. Yeah, he roughed up her ego. Because she was clearly, like I said, it really looks like she was applying the book “The Rules” on you. And you roughed up her ego and just were like, “Yeah, that dog won’t hunt. I’m not going to stick around for this shit.” And you moved on and you started dating other women. Which is, quite frankly, if you’re familiar with 3% Man, that’s what you should be doing.

As you recognize that she’s not easy going, easy to get along with. She’s not being nice to you. She’s being a difficult pain in the ass. She’s not communicating like an adult. You’re reaching out. She’s telling you that she’s busy. You make dates, she blows you off or flakes, and it really looks like she did it on purpose, because if she really didn’t give a damn at all.

And then when he just disappeared and started dating somebody else and she found out about it, it looks like she may have been applying the book, “The Rules”, and it blew up in her face. And now she’s pissed off and trying to make you jealous, trying to make you chase her with this other guy. So if it was me, I would not respond to her. It’d be like, “Hey, good luck to you and your boyfriend. I’m seeing somebody else. Didn’t work out for us, but I wish all the best.”

But good for you for recognizing that. Because, man, I get so many emails from guys that are in the exact same kind of situation and they just keep putting up with it. They keep trying to fix the girl. They try to get the structured woman to behave properly. Even though I say, this is why you don’t date structured women because they’re a fucking pain in the ass. She acted like she didn’t give a shit as soon as you found somebody else.

Now all of a sudden she cares and is showing up trying to make you jealous with her new dude. And he probably is none the wiser. He doesn’t know that she dated you. I’m guessing because if he did know, unless, of course, he’s a cuck, he wouldn’t want to be hanging out with you, or coming by and trying to make you jealous. He’d be like, what? I’m not doing that. So good on you for recognizing the bad behavior and ejecting.

Because again, a lot of guys get all up in their feelings and they ignore this kind of behavior, and they keep trying to date somebody that just frustrates the hell out of them. Whereas you were like, on to the next. Good job, dude. There’s another bus every 15 minutes, just like the book says.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.