How to transform yourself from a nice guy pushover, who always gets rejected or friend-zoned by women you want to date, into a guy women pursue, enjoy dating and want to be in a relationship with.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who shares his success story of how he subtly changed his approach to dating and made a massive difference in the results he gets with women. Recently, a woman he has been dating asked him to be exclusive. Things are effortless and come naturally to him now. He says he used to be too much of a nice guy pushover and never stood up for himself or what he wanted. He describes the changes he made in his life that have made all the difference. He talks about his goals, what he focuses on and how he goes about setting dates that has led to this woman asking him to be exclusive. It’s another great success story of how little changes can make a massive difference in your life. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email:
At the moment, it’s starting to get serious with a girl, and it’s all thanks to you. (At the end of the day, you did the work. You followed instructions and took action, and that’s why you have a great success story.) I used to be a nice guy who, like all nice guys, tried to be nice in order to get women to like me. I agreed to everything they said, I responded immediately to text messages and wrote what I thought they wanted to hear, (In other words, you weren’t speaking from your heart and telling women what was really on your mind), I cancelled other plans to be with them, and the list goes on. (You were constantly putting everyone else’s needs before your own, and you weren’t standing up for yourself.) I was basically a needy guy with no confidence. I wanted approval. This caused a woman I was dating to lose attraction for me about half a year ago. She was a great girl, confident, funny, clever, good communicator. She had it all, and I blew it. I was desperate not to lose her, so I see now how my nice-guy behavior went on turbo-mode in order to win her. It didn’t work. That’s what made me pick up your book. (You hit a wall and realized what you were doing wasn’t working and something needed to change.)
After reading your book, I started thinking about my behavior, and I realized the reason why I was so nice to women was because I wanted approval and sex. (There was nothing wrong with your intent. It’s just the strategy you were using was terrible.) I’ve read your book two times now, and I will read it again later on. (Come on man. How can you ever have the time if you never take the time? If you’ve only read the book twice, then you probably don’t know the relationship skills yet.) I now understand why women don’t want a nice guy. They want a man who can protect them, who is ambitious, confident and caring. I’m still nice; I’m just not a pushover anymore. The difference in how I am with women now is subtle, but still game changing. I assume they want to be with me, because I’m a great guy. I didn’t really believe so before. (If you don’t think you’re worthy, you’re going to act like you’re not worthy, and you’re going to communicate with your words and the tone of your voice that you’re not worthy.) I also keep conversation to a minimum with this girl I’m getting serious with on texts. (The phone is for setting dates.) I just make plans, and I make plans that make hooking up a possibility. (Just like I teach in my book, a man’s job is to create an opportunity for sex to happen. Hang out, have fun and hook up.) I’ve kept conversation light and funny since we’ve met, never mentioning anything about the future. When we say goodbye to each other, I say its been fun, but I don’t make plans on the spot. Small things like this, I realize now, build anticipation and show I’m not a needy guy. (If you don’t make plans at the end of your date when you had a great time, in the back of her mind, she’s still going to be wondering, “Is he going to call?” Remember, it’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear.) I also focus a lot more on myself, which is basically working out, studying medicine to become a doctor and playing guitar in a band. After focusing more on my goals, and myself, I’ve not only seen how this has an effect on the girl I’m seeing, I’m also getting more attention from other girls. I guess it’s the confidence of doing stuff for myself, not just others. (Being successful with members of the opposite sex is really about you. It’s about your internal game, how you view yourself and how you interact with other people. If you view yourself negatively, other people will pick up on that. You won’t be fun to be around.)
Last week, the girl I’m seeing asked to be exclusive, and she can’t get enough of me. (Even if you don’t believe anything I say, if you just apply the things I teach, you will see they work for you.) I’m also getting attention from other girls as well. It’s great, and it’s thanks to your book. I just wanted to let you know that you had a positive impact on my life, and I wanted to say, keep up the good work. (Reading the book two times is not sufficient. There’s a really high likelihood you are going to fail if you don’t learn the relationship skills.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The best investment you can make in your life is to invest in becoming a better version of yourself by studying people who are more successful than you are and further along in their journey to achieving their dreams. When you learn from others who already know what you don’t, who have paid the price to get to where you’d like to be and who have already made the costly mistakes and blunders, you will avoid the epic mistake of trying to reinvent the wheel. By modeling the success of others and applying what they already do successfully, you will dramatically speed up your learning curve and progress and achieve your goals in the shortest time and most efficient manner possible. It’s always better to work smarter, not harder.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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