Why being unsuccessful with women is not about your looks if you think you are ugly or unattractive, but it is really about the vibe of unhappiness and unworthiness that you give off that is the real reason for your lack of success with women.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who has convinced himself that he is too ugly and unattractive for women to be interested in him romantically. He says that he has a great sense of humor and has no problem making the ladies laugh and smile. He works out and takes care of himself physically. He also is only 23 years old, but he’s never had a girlfriend before. He says he also wonders if it is something that he portrays subconsciously that is getting in the way of women liking him and finding him attractive enough to date. He says his lack of success is getting to him and that he really is not sure what the problem is. He wonders if it is just a matter of luck and he has to wait for the one in a million type of woman to come along that will finally be into him.
I enjoy watching your videos, and I’ve read your book once. I sincerely thank you for the free knowledge you share with us all.
I’m 23 years old, never had a girlfriend and feel like I’ve hit rock bottom. I have such a hard time picking up girls, because I’m not the greatest looking guy. I’ve had previous women interested in me, which proves that I have potential, but it’s rarely there and my only chance is to run into that one out of a million who will give me a shot. (This is the story you tell yourself so you don’t have to take any action at all.) Have you dealt with ugly people before and helped them find success? (You’re not ugly. You are a decent, good looking dude. The only one preventing you from finding a woman is you. You must participate in your own rescue. If you don’t even talk to women and ask them out, it’s pointless.) I’m not a slob, I buy expensive clothing that fits me properly, and I work out a lot because it’s my hobby. The only downside I can really imagine is how I look, and the fact that I’m only 5’6” – 5’7” feet tall, which is short for a guy. Honestly, I really don’t know what to do anymore. (Take action, and ask out 100 different women over the next thirty days.) When I talk to women, I joke freely and make most of them laugh. Sometimes they turn red because they can’t stop laughing. The biggest tool I have is humor, because I used to watch so much comedy and stand up, it just grew on me. (That’s a great skill to develop. Model the success of other people.) Unfortunately, I’ve been so miserable that the happy and hilarious guy everyone knew me for is fading away. (No, you’re just choosing to feel sad and sorry for yourself, and therefore nothing changes in your life. You get what you focus on in life, so you should focus on asking out women.) That’s bad because my key feature is humor, and if that goes, then I’m done for. I know this is too long for you, but I need to explain. I don’t know what to do man, I don’t know what it is about me. It can’t be totally my looks. (It isn’t your looks. It’s how you’re showing up. A girl doesn’t want to date a guy who looks miserable.) It must be something I portray subconsciously. I’m really stumped dude. (You need to take action, you need to read my book, and you need to practice. Repetition is the mother of skill.)
If this shit gets to you man, thanks for reading, and God bless for replying.
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“How ever you perceive yourself is how you are going to cause other people to perceive you. When you believe that you are ugly, unattractive or that members of the opposite sex in general will find you too undesirable to date, you will actually seek out people who find you unattractive and who don’t like you, because this matches and mirrors your inner world and how you view yourself. You literally will steer yourself away from people who like, value and accept you the way you are. Like attracts like. Water seeks its own level. Seek out people who share the same goals, values, hobbies and interests. People who like the same things tend to like each other. If you spend your time with people who don’t share the same values and interests, this will create a lot of friction and resistance. Those relationships will also take a lot of energy and suppression of your true personality and identity to maintain. Spend your time with like minded people who enthusiastically welcome and invite you into their lives, not those who merely tolerate you.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne