What you should do to take some small, simple action with a woman you’ve always had your eye on, chemistry with and who you are pretty sure likes you also, even if you have always been intimidated and shy around women and especially fearful when it comes to asking women out for a date.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who recently ended his unhappy marriage of nineteen years. He’s successful, the life of the party, and good with men and women when it comes to being confident in business, but when a beautiful woman walks into the room that he likes romantically, he becomes totally silent, sheepish and shy. His interactions with women he likes are usually awkward. After he read my book and watched numerous videos of mine, he decided to take some action with a woman he’s known from his gym for a while, but he never did anything about it. He finally worked up the courage to invite her out for a drink. She accepted, and he shares his success story of how he overcame this simple but giant fear of his that was holding him back.
Brother…I can’t thank you enough. You totally got me over the edge and made me face my fears. I’m a fairly successful guy that started his first business at 29. (That’s awesome dude.) I’m in very good shape, and go to the gym six days a week, twice a day on four of those days. I’m not a bad looking guy, I have a good rap and I love to laugh. However, I have always been intimidated by women. (That tells me, because of your fear, you haven’t taken much action, and therefore you haven’t interacted with enough women that you really liked to get to the point where you don’t care if you get rejected or not.) In business, it doesn’t matter if it is a man or woman, my confidence in knowing what I want will shine through. In a bar around a bunch of guys, especially while watching football or any sport, I’m there. I’m present and vocal. However, put a woman into that same social occasion, and I’m “Painfully Awkward Rob Lowe.”
I decided to end my 15-year marriage with my wife this past January, 19 years all together. I just turned 46 today, so I was with her since I was 27. Now, in my mid 40’s, I wanted to date and find out who I am again. There’s a girl that goes to my gym, and she and I have had “playful banter” for the last couple of months. But being “Rob Lowe with Cable,” I just didn’t have a sack between my legs. I have no balls! The signs that she was into me were always there. I’m just a guy that was so nervous that I didn’t notice. She would park next to me in the parking lot, even though I park at the far end of the parking lot so I don’t get anyone opening their car door into my car. (That’s pretty obvious. Women put themselves into your orbit when they like you.) I would usually be the last one out of class, because I like to stretch afterwards, but sometimes she would be standing next to her car pretending to be on the phone, or she would wait until I got near my car before pulling out.
Somehow, I stumbled onto one of your YouTube videos and was in awe of what you were saying. (If you apply the things I teach, it will work for you. They will help you in all of your relationships and improve the quality of your life.) You and I are similar as we’re both into goal setting and being leaders. And although I would rather listen to an old Jim Rohn cd or listen to Jeffery Gitomer speak, I do value many things Tony Robbins has to say. (Tony is the best at what he does, but like Jim Rohn said, “Follow what I teach, but don’t follow me too closely.” The bottom line is, the fundamentals of much of self-help was learned from other people. It’s timeless wisdom that has been passed down for thousands of years.) We’re similar in many ways in how we go about our business, but you’re much different than me as you’re in the 3%, and I’m in the 97%. Your videos spoke to me. I spent half the day on Friday watching you over and over. I then downloaded your e-book. Fuck … I really love you. Why? Because you made me face my fears and offered solutions to a problem that has been plaguing me since fourth grade. (Well, better late than never dude.) So this morning, the same thing happened in the parking lot. She pulled out just as I was getting to my car, and I sheepishly waved. I got home and read a couple of chapters in your book, and with my heart beating, I said “Fuck it. You’re a man that is good looking, successful, funny, fun to be with,” so I wrote her: “I’d like to meet-up with you for a drink, when would you be available?”
Three minutes later: “Next Week.”
Five seconds after that, “Text me your number at…” and she wrote her number.
(You did it through social media, which quite frankly was a bitch move, but good job for taking action. In this particular case you were able to slide by with it since you had just seen her.)
Thank you, Brother. Your teachings are life changing, and I will continue to be your student. (You have to show up and be a man. Even if she rejected you, big deal. On to the next! Repetition is the mother of skill. If you read my book 10-15 times and apply the fundamentals of what I teach, you will be hanging out, having fun and hooking up in no time.)
With much love to you,
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Our fears of what we are afraid of taking a risk to do or experience are always worse than actually doing what we fear. Fear of success, of failure, that you don’t have what it takes to succeed or that you won’t be loved or accepted by your friends, family or peer group, is what keeps most people from doing anything to overcome their fears so they can attract the kind of people they want and the kind of life and lifestyle they want to experience. Success lies beyond what scares us. Until you decide to become brave enough to overcome your fears and take action in spite of them, you’re going to struggle to achieve any kind of real or lasting success at getting what you want in life.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne