Just Because She’s Hot Doesn’t Mean She’s Relationship Material

Why you can’t let a woman’s physical beauty blind you to the fact she’s not relationship material.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been following my work since 2021. He’s read 3% Man nine times. He works in the movie business and was hooking up with a hot actress who kept bouncing back and forth between him and her ex before he became exclusive with another woman and getting married. After his marriage ended due to his wife cheating on him, he got back in touch with the hot actress, only to see her dip and go back to her ex after she miscarried their baby and they lived together for a year.

She recently showed up on the 1st day of filming a new show he was working on that she was also cast in. Now she claims to be ready for a commitment. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This particular email is from a viewer. He started following my work back in 2021. He says he’s read 3% Man nine times, and he works in the movie business. He says initially he was hooking up with a hot actress who I guess was in one of the movies he was working on, and he was kind of hooking up with her. He was dating other women at the time, and she kept bouncing back and forth between him and her ex-boyfriend, who she’d been with for several years. Eventually, he ended up getting serious with another woman, got married and they were together less than a year because his ex-wife cheated on him. After they split up, he got back in touch with his particular girl and they started seeing each other again. Then at some point, they got exclusive, they lived together, she got pregnant and then miscarried the baby. Then I guess shortly after that, things went sideways. Well, a year or two had passed since he had last seen her.

So he had a new series he was working on. I think this one was for Netflix, he was saying, and guess who shows up on the first day of shooting? This hot actress! Sparks are flying, chemistry is happening again, but it appears that she’s like, “Oh, I’m ready to settle down now. I’ve worked out all the kinks out of my personal life and we’re good.” So obviously, after what’s happened in the past and the fact that she kept going back and forth between him and the original ex-boyfriend, and it looks like the original ex-boyfriend is still there, it’s not a healthy pattern, especially if there’s no reason for her to be with the ex, other than the fact, more than likely, she’s probably a little messed up, came from a family whose father probably didn’t do a good job just because this kind of behavior is not what a family-oriented girl who really loves, admires, respects and looks up to her dad and respects his authority.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Big fan, been following you since 2021! I’ve been through your book nine times in the last three years and it has bolstered my confidence in the opposite sex. First off, I’m a 39-year-old guy and I own and operate a moderate size special and practical FX company that I founded back in 2011 after doing eight years in the Air Force. We bring in a healthy size clientele and although I’m not uber wealthy, the business has allowed me to do pretty well for myself. Recently I’ve moved to do almost indie projects exclusively, because modern day Hollywood is a woke shit show.

Amen! Look what they did to the Star Wars franchise. You put a bunch of chicks in charge, a bunch of woke idiots, Kathleen Kennedy, and what does she do? She tries to turn all the women into men and all the men into little girls. I mean, look what they did to Luke Skywalker. God, the guy was the hero of the galaxy, and instead he’s this fucking hermit that lives in the new movies. He’s this hermit that’s been hiding on an island all by himself. He sunk his X-Wing fighter in the ocean so he couldn’t be tempted to go back out and save the galaxy or interact with other human beings again. It’s like, that’s so pathetic.

Again, if you ever heard Mark Hamill talk, he’s a woke idiot as well. He acted like the beta male in the movies that he is in real life, so he’s not the hero that was presented to us back in the 1970s, early 80s when I was growing up, but that’s besides the point.

Back in early 2018, my company hit a big score when we were contracted by Netflix do to some of the practical effects for one of their original shows. It’s here where I met the chick that’s the subject of this email. Jessica was a 22-year-old actress who was playing a recurring bit role on the show. While I was on set one day, she immediately caught my attention. Corey, I have never rated a girl as a perfect ten in my life, but this girl comes damn close, I’d say about a 9.8, honestly one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen, no bullshit.

Well, just because she’s hot on the outside does not mean she’s not an absolute lunatic on the inside.

At first, she thought I was another actor on set and seemed surprised that I was just an FX guy. She communicated high interest as she would always compliment me on my work and what I was wearing.

Well, if a girl is talking about what you’re wearing, it’s because she likes it and usually means she’s attracted to you.

At the time, I was playing the field and was already seeing two other women, but nothing serious. I asked her out and she immediately accepted.

Like I said, Jessica is a beautiful woman, but is one of those chicks that came with a lot of baggage.

Well, there it is! Easy going, easy to get along with, a woman that doesn’t disturb your peace, a woman that comes from a good family, loves her mom, loves her dad especially. Already when you’re like, “Well, she’s got a lot of baggage, Coach.” In other words, “She’s pretty fucked up, but I think I can work with it. I’m going to use your book to fix her.” That’s not how it works. You got to see people as they are. The more screwed up their upbringing and their background, just because she’s super hot doesn’t mean she’s not a woke idiot, and it doesn’t mean that she’s a good candidate to have a relationship with.

She had a lot of daddy issues…

So in other words, her dad did not do a good job. Survey says daddy didn’t do a good job. She hasn’t really done any self-help, hasn’t gotten therapy, hasn’t tried to fix herself. She’s just going through life being a train wreck. You got to see that reality. You’re telling me about a girl that’s got all these daddy issues, and then you’re wondering why things are not going well with her. It’s not a good sign.

…And was just coming off a recent divorce from a guy she had been dating since she was 16. I’ve never been one to let a woman’s beauty get to me and I figured this woman was no different. I figured she would just be another fun hookup, which she was.

Yeah, and that’s all she should have remained, because again, you saw the train wreck, you saw the daddy issues, and you’re like, “Captain Save-A-Hoe to the rescue!”

No way was I expecting her to be, “The One” like you say.

Well, “The One” is a Disney fantasy. I believe, in my personal experience, and have been doing this for multiple decades as well, and seeing from other people, we have lots of soul mates. I believe people come into our lives for a reason. I believe that before we even incarnate in this life, there are people that we are destined to meet and interact with. As Edgar Casey said in many of his readings, “We’re always meeting ourselves.” In other words, the karma that we created in a past life or a current life were always meeting what we’ve created in order that we can overcome it or transcend it, or to heal that particular relationship with love. Doesn’t mean there’s only one person that you’re going to be with your whole life, and if you fuck it up, well you’re destined to be alone. That’s just Disney nonsense. Disney fantasy nonsense.

But Corey I gotta tell you, she became one of my favorites.

So in other words, “I pedestalized her and I kissed her ass because she was hot, kind of famous or up and coming about to be famous.”

Fun, bubbly and affectionate, but she was constantly bouncing between me and her ex.

Well, I assume a lot of that was probably before he came across my work, but still, that’s just not healthy. Even the fact that he’s been following me all this time and yet he’s entertaining this chick once again.

I was unmoved by it as I knew this chick wasn’t wifey material.

It’s just a fun hookup, fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate. It’s like dating what’s her name? Angelina Jolie. It’s like, that’s fun. You probably shouldn’t be putting a ring on it. I mean, look at Angelina Jolie. Doesn’t like her dad at all, didn’t even take his last name, they’ve been estranged their whole lives. It’s just, women like that are hell on wheels. I mean, she’s hot, and Brad Pitt got involved in her. I don’t know what kind of a husband he was, so I can’t speak on that, but I mean, shit, they split up over a decade ago and they still are fighting things out in the divorce court.

I could almost set my watch to when she would come running back to me because she had another fight with her ex.

Than it happened. In February of 2020…

Which would be, as the lockdowns were starting when the Scamdemic first took off. Unfortunately, our favorite president, Donald J. Trump, turned the country over to Fauci and Doctor Burks, and they locked the world down and screwed up the global supply chain.

…I got married to another girl. The marriage lasted all of eight months and she ended up cheating on me, had no integrity whatsoever. Maybe it was a bad move, but I got in contact with Jessica and we ended up hooking up again.

As Rick James said so famously, “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” Or Whitney Houston said, “Crack is whack.” Can’t make good wine from bad grapes.

This time, we acted more as an official couple, she moved in and for about a year, things were pretty damn good. When I suffered another big blow when she miscarried the baby we were having together, things went down hill from there. We broke up at the beginning of 2022 and once again ran back to her ex-husband. I honestly thought that would be the last time I saw her.

About four months ago, I started to co-produce my own films. An agency that I work with, casted the movie and lo and behold, she shows up on set one day.

What a coinky-dink!

The universe might be screwing with me.

The universe is definitely screwing with you. That’s how it works. Remember, Edgar Casey said, “We are always meeting ourselves.” So the reason this woman came back into your life was because that was your karma. Would you be strong enough to say, “Yeah, I’m not really going to get involved with her again?” “Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” “Crack is whack.” So this female crack, if you will, hot, but not good for you. Fun, but not good for you.

In recent weeks, we’ve been messing around again and she has revealed that she is done with all the bouncing around.

Yeah, based on what? Her word? Did she do therapy? Did she fix herself or did she just determined, “OK, now I’m all better. No more monkey branching back to my toxic ex-husband?” Whatever…

She really wants to make it work this time. I might be bullshitting myself, but I chalk up our last break up due to to the pain of the miscarriage.

Sure, and she just dipped and went right back to the ex-husband. Yeah…

Any advice, Corey? Do you think I should give it another go round or does she belong to the streets?

Bob

Well, everything I’ve seen, it sounds like she belongs to the streets, so why are you even asking me? Did she go to therapy? Did she overcome her childhood trauma? What has she done to work on herself to actually become somebody that would be a good girlfriend? You guys almost had a baby together, and instead of staying together and trying again, what did she do? “Well, I’ll just go and fuck my ex-husband again.” You’re like, “Hey Coach, I’m thinking about giving her another chance,” but what has changed with her? Anything? Just because she says, “Oh, I’m done messing around.”

What did Maya Angelou say? “When somebody shows you or tells you who they are, believe them the first time.” So unless she’s done a lot of therapy and counseling and got her shit together and is a good person, maybe she found Jesus and became a better person, I just simply don’t think much has changed. I think she’s just serving you a shit burger and with some Tabasco sauce and you’re going, “Yeah, I’m gonna chow down on that. “Crack is wack.” So unless she’s done a lot of therapy, self-help and really is different, really calm and shows you that she’s consistent, she keeps her word, I would be skeptical. I don’t think, unless she’s done a lot of work on herself, that things are going to be different this time around.

You got to bottom line her actions. Look how she’s showing up. Again, you should even ask her when you’re hanging out, and she’s like, “Oh, I’m going to stick around.” Like, why should you believe her? What has she done for herself? In other words, what has she done to improve herself to where, at the first sign of trouble, she’s just not going to dip and go running back to the guy she divorced and start fucking him again? That’s just not a healthy situation to be in, so I’d be pretty skeptical. Unless she’s got some good explanations and has actually done the work, self-help, got a good therapist and overcome her issues and childhood trauma, I would say it’s probably going to end the same way it did the first four or five times that this happened. That’s what I think.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.