Here’s why you must focus on keeping things simple with women you are dating & sleeping with in order to maintain & increase their attraction for you. Here’s why if you complicate things with women by focusing on relationship labels, commitment, moving in together, etc., without them bringing it up first, they’ll lose attraction & dump you unexpectedly. One of the most commonly used warnings that women give men that they are dating who are trying to force things to happen quicker than they are ready for them to happen is, “don’t complicate things!”
When a woman says that, she is communicating that you are messing with her level of comfort and safety. When women no longer feel comfortable and safe, they will start to back away. Most men who don’t know what they are doing, will usually respond by calling and texting women constantly out of fear of losing them. This simply makes matters worse, and leads to their being rejected. The following is an e-mail from a reader who has successfully re-attracted his girlfriend. However, he is still making unnecessary mistakes that are causing her attraction for him to drop. His frustration is causing him to over-complicate things. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Love you man, you’re the greatest!! My question to you is when do you bring it up about “I’m not interested in being your friend and give me a call if you change you mind?” (That is a strategy to use when you get dumped by your girl. I would assume you already used it because you’ve got your girl back. You don’t keep throwing it in her face, you simply walk away and tell her to call you if she changes her mind when she unilaterally alters the terms of your relationship that are not to your liking: i.e. getting dumped or the “let’s just be friends speech.”)
I’ll keep it brief. My girlfriend and I went through a breakup about 3 months ago. First, it was I who needed some space. Then she wanted a break. All within a two week span after being together for 1 year. (So you wanted some space, thought about it for a few days, and then called to tell her things were back on, to which she responded… “not so fast!”) We got back together after a month or so with very little contact from both of us. After we got back together, I let her contact me and I’d initiate her coming over to my house for dinner. Then we’d usually have a good romp in the sack that night, and this has gone on just about every weekend since the breakup. (Sounds textbook to me. Good job! That is what a date is. A romantic opportunity for sex to happen. What you do and where you go is not important. The key is simply to have a fun time together that leads to sex. Evening dates only, no friendly lunches or movie dates unless you want to become her male girlfriend.) She seems to be struggling at times with being a lover or just a friend. (That happens when you chase too much. Women should do 70-80% of the calling, pursuing and texting.
It is a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. Women need to wonder where they stand with you. When you spend too much time together, women will get bored. That’s ok. It’s natural. Let them have their space. They will call you when they miss you. If you don’t hear from her, call her after a week to set the next date up. However, if you are doing more things right than wrong with her when you are together, then she will be constantly reaching out to you every day or almost every day.
The higher her interest/attraction grows for you, the more she will initiate contact with you. Women will want/demand more and more of your time as they fall more in love with you.) After this past weekend which we spent 3-4 days together, her interest level was fairly high on Friday 70-80%; then by Monday it was around 51%. (You spent a lot of time together and deflated all the sexual tension. You MUST spend time apart for it to build up again.) In fact, I left early that day because of the distance she was giving me. (Smart! Way to be aware! Good job!) Anyways, she’s gone cold again, but we’ve made plans to get together at her house this Sunday for dinner as I’m going away Friday and Saturday. She’ll be gone the next weekend, and I have a feeling her interest level won’t be that high.
(Stop that bullshit fear of the future thinking!!! That kind of thinking is what causes men to chase and ruin their relationships with women out of neediness.) I have a hard time understanding her at times, (That is because you are not that familiar with my book yet. You need to read it 10-15 times until you know it so well you don’t have to think about it. Therefore, you are continuing to make unnecessary mistakes that are turning her off. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
BUT… she does have a lot of things going on and I understand it. She broke her leg skiing this past winter and lost her job. She has been out of work since last October. Plus, she really hasn’t gotten over her partner who passed away 3 yrs ago of cancer. She’s very bitter regarding her ex-husband who was a real jerk-off. (All of that shit you just shared about her problems is meaningless. It has nothing to do with how she feels about you. The only thing that affects how a woman feels about you, is how you act when you are together or communicating on the phone. It is simply excuses you are using to rationalize behaviors you do not yet understand because you still don’t know my book well enough.)
I’ve told her a few times that I’m not interested in being JUST FRIENDS, and I think she knows that, but I feel like a faucet being turned off and on at times. Any suggestions Corey? (Yea. Relax. Take a deep breath. It’s in the bag. Stop complicating things. Don’t worry about labeling your relationship status or getting some kind of commitment. Just focus on planning and executing outstandingly fun dates that lead to sex. Rinse… recycle… repeat. When she wants to be your girlfriend and be exclusive, she will bring it up. Until then, keep your mouth shut about the topic, and simply focus on having fun together. Love is playful and fun, not serious!)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Not all those who wander are lost.” ~ J.R.R. Tolkien