How to use your rejections, heartbreaks & failures to fuel your improvement & success with women now, and in the future! At first after a breakup or getting rejected by a girl you just started dating who you really liked, the pain of failure and heartbreak can be overwhelming. The quickest way to recover from rejection and heartbreak is to work on improving your skills so you can attract an even better quality of woman for your next relationship. Every relationship or interaction that you have with women, is heaven sent in order to help you grow into the fullness of who God created you to be. Repetition is the mother of skill. For men who are still afraid and intimidated when they talk to women they like, the only reason they feel afraid and intimidated is, because they simply have not had enough successful interactions with women in order for it to have become routine and a common occurrence. When you get to the point where you have interacted with, flirted and practiced your skills on hundreds or even thousands of women, then it will not feel like such a big deal. It will be no different than paying the cashier when you buy your groceries, or when you interact with your waiter when you are paying a dinner check.
The best place to practice talking to random women? The mall. Why? Because at the big malls there are literally thousands of people who you will never see again. If women terrify you, then you can practice saying hello to the clerks in the malls or the old people that you walk by. The point is to start out doing what you feel comfortable doing, and then to slowly talk more and more to the women who would normally intimidate you and paralyze you with fear. Talking to old people and clerks at the mall is like a pair of training wheels a kid uses to learn how to ride a bike. The better you get, the less you will need the training wheels, and the more you will want to take risks once your training wheels are off. Masculine energy is about getting things done. Masculine energy expands naturally with success. If a man is not expanding and pushing the outer boundaries of his comfort zone striving for his goals and dreams, he will not feel fully alive or become the success that he could be. He will also not appear as sexually attractive and tantalizing to women as he could be. The following is an e-mail from a reader who has locked himself inside of a mind prison feeling guilty over a breakup he can do nothing about, which is causing him tremendous suffering. All he has to do is take a little action to improve his situation, and he will feel right as rain! My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
6 months ago, I got dumped… after a 2+ year relationship. (ouch!) The good news is, that looking back on the relationship, I did things the right way from the beginning & things progressed. I would say it was luck. (In my experience, there is no such thing. Everything happens for a reason. When your times up, your times up!) At the time I was not aware of your book. I read it in the last couple of months & it put a smile on my face to see that I did everything pretty close to what you recommend: let her chase me, etc. (The good news is you have a successful pattern of doing the right things to get the girl. The bad news is you need to work on keeping her attracted and in love. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
I also will tell you that I got dumped in a really cruel way in my opinion. She left town with another guy, but I also will be honest & say that I did one big mistake. I let the romance go, & did not listen close enough to the clues. (That’s the biggest mistake men make in relationships. They stop courting/dating their girlfriend/wife. If you don’t date your girlfriend/wife, some other guy will!!!! What you do to get her to fall in love, is what you do to keep her in love.) I have been in hell since then. (You are sitting on your ass dwelling on the past. You must let go of what is. The past does not equal the future. You can’t change your present or your future if you continue to take no action to improve your situation. You must participate in your own rescue. Inaction breeds fear and doubt, action breeds confidence and courage. Work on learning to use the best pickup lines and comebacks to improve your flirting and story-telling ability so you can master the 3 ways to seduce women. This will give you choice with women. It will also help you learn to go with the flow with women and life. Start to focus on your most important goals and dreams. Women are most sexually attracted to men who feel successful at life and who are pursuing their grandest goals and dreams. Men who are fearless despite potential rejection and failure.)
I am not asking how to bring her back. (Then why did you bring it up? Your ego wants another shot at getting her back. If you focus on self-improvement and making your life the way you’ve always wanted it to be, you’ll naturally feel more confident, optimistic and excited about your future… and… you’ll be the best version of yourself which is what you need to be in order to get your ex back, and attract hotter & better quality women. You must have a compelling vision for your life. Something that is emotionally compelling to you. Masculine energy is about achieving, purpose, mission, success, etc. in life. Act more like a man and do the things successful men do, and women will find you irresistible!) I know it is over. When I daydream about having her back, I imagine she will apologize to me for what she did. I can’t see myself forgiving or forgetting what she did.
My question is, how do you get over this? After 6 months I still cry. My confidence is really low. So the prospect of trying to find somebody else has been a disaster. She is on my mind 24/7 in a loop that sometimes I can’t control. You have any advice for me? (You must take the time to grieve and heal. You must feel it to heal it. Take time to be alone and cry. Be authentically present with the pain you feel. The pain dissolves slowly over time. It’s not one big event that ends all pain. The intensity of grieving gets less and less as time goes by. You must also start working to meet some new women so you can improve your pickup, dating & relationship skills. The more you succeed with other women, the more your confidence grows. If you apply what I teach, I promise you will meet someone hotter and way more fun… and… better suited to your personality. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start… in order to become great!)
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” ~ Lao Tzu