Let’s Just Be Friends…

Mar 1, 2012 by Coach Corey Wayne

Here’s some attraction tips to ensure she becomes your girlfriend instead of giving you the “let’s just be friends” speech! In order for a woman to fall in love with you to the point where she asks you to be her boyfriend, you must understand that love is a marathon and not a sprint race. Men tend to get hung up on boyfriend/girlfriend/relationship/etc. labels instead of simply living in the moment and having a good time on dates. You must let women come to you at their own pace. Women fall in love slowly over time. This is a process you can not rush! If you try to force a woman to do something she is not ready to do, she will reject you. There is a fine line between getting a woman to ask you to become her boyfriend, and pushing too hard and getting the “let’s just be friends” speech. You have to watch the signs and signals that always indicate how a woman feels towards you emotionally in that moment. See page 120 in my book for further details. Based upon what a woman is doing, you will be able to determine the appropriate course of action to raise her level of romantic interest in you even higher. The following is an e-mail from a reader. He is tired of getting the “let’s just be friends” speech from the women he tries to date. He keeps asking women to be his girlfriend at inappropriate times. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:

Hi Corey Wayne,

I have found it very easy to pick up ladies via Facebook. I guess that’s my own area of specialization. I do get on well with them after so few chats, and we move to the phone to get to know each other. Initially, we do get on well, but whenever I ask them to be my girlfriend, I always hear those dreaded BS lines like “let’s just be friends” “am not ready for a relationship now” and so on. (That is because you never ask a woman to be your girlfriend in that manner like it’s simply flipping a switch. Women fall in love slowly over time when a man properly dates and courts them. When you do everything right with a woman for about two months or a dozen or so dates, she should be in love with you by then. However, the more things you do wrong, the longer it will take for her to fall in love with you. As far as boyfriend/girlfriend/commitments/relationships talk goes, that’s the woman’s department. If she’s not bringing it up, then it means her interest level is not there yet. When you ask these women to be your girlfriend, you are doing it at times when the women do not feel it yet. Plus you are communicating that you do not understand attraction or how relationships work. You are only looking at your own level of interest and ignoring her level of interest in you.) I keep trying for a while and let go after they keep sticking to what they have said to me before. (When a woman tells you that, she’s out. Move on.) I have only dated one of like 5 girls I have met in this way. Even with her, she told me that she is not ready for a relationship now. (Translation: “You are trying to rush me into a relationship faster than I am ready for. Therefore, I must turn you down.”) I forgot about her, only for her to call me after exactly a month of walking away to tell me she has agreed to be my girlfriend. (You walked away when you did not get what you want. “The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away, and mean it.” ~ Michael Yon. No better candidate came along in that time, so she called you when faced with not having any better options to give you a chance.)

My question now is, I do start well to get the attention of ladies via this means and they really enjoy me. I am always funny, cocky and humorous when I am on the phone talking to them. I do call a lot after we get to know each other well. (That is why you fail. You pursue too much. This communicates neediness and weakness. You should make sure a woman does 70%-80% of the talking, calling and pursuing. If she’s chasing you, she can’t be getting rid of you. You basically are acting like a woman would act. Therefore, you never give her the space for her feelings for you to grow because you are always trying to rush romance and force things to happen. You must let women come to you at their own pace. If you don’t, you will guarantee they reject you later.) So how can I navigate to being their boyfriend using this method without the risk of hearing all those stupid lines? (Simple, stop asking them to be your girlfriend. Keep dating and sleeping with as many women as you like until one girl who you really like also, goes out of her way to make you hers. Focus on setting up fun dates that keep women laughing and having a good time. As their interest level in you goes up, they will call you more, touch you more and try to put themselves in your presence so they can catch you. You don’t act like a guy who thinks he’s a catch. You’re desperately throwing yourself at women asking them to be your girlfriend, instead of acting like you are a catch who has options with women. If you had lots of great options with other women by learning how to meet more women and the top ways to seduce women, then you’d probably try to avoid becoming serious with any woman, unless she was really special and determined to make you hers.) This trend has made me know so many ladies who I initially got on well with, to later hear later those dreaded lines. I am tired of repeating the same cycle. I have 3 other prospects now, and I never want to get the same results I have been getting in the past with these three too. I have found it so easy to walk away from all of them and forget them in so little time, but this last one I have known for the past 7 months and I am struggling to let her go. It has been so difficult to walk away and forget her. This is giving me a big headache as I can’t make her my girlfriend. Just the usual friends with no benefits. Below is our story, please advise me on what to do about her please.

She was one of my friends little sister, and we started well. We talk on the phone because she lives away from where I work. She is a student also, although I do most of the calling. (Again, this is your problem. You are trying too hard to make something happen. Ask a woman out for a date only once per week. If she turns you down twice, stop asking and calling her. After a few weeks of asking her out and taking her out on 1 date per week, and provided you do more things right than wrong to raise her level of interest in you, she will want to see you more than once a week. She will start calling and texting you in hopes that you take the hint and set up the next date. Always go for the kiss at the end of the date. If you go to kiss her goodnight and she turns her head and you get her cheek, then she’s out. It means she has no romantic interest in you or is a structured woman who follows rules instead of her heart. Either way, she’s out. You’re also taking too long to find out if you’ve got any chance with these girls. You’re investing way too much time before you ask them out for dates. It’s simple, if you have chemistry on the phone, ask her to meet up for drinks. If she likes you, she will. If she does not, she will make excuses.) For like a month, we talked on the phone and I could feel she liked me too. I started developing some feelings for her. We meet after like a month and a half of talking on the phone at her brother’s wedding. She was all over me that time. After that, she came to the city I live in. We were like that until a night that she started crying when I was teasing her on the phone that I miss her and I care for her. (Again, you are not paying any attention to notice if the feelings are mutual. This is too soon to be saying things like this.) She left the phone and started crying, calling me later. I asked her what happened? She told me I should tell her the 3rd statement, but I said I forgot. I asked her does she want anything from me? (What? Never ask a woman such a silly question like that!!!!) She said she doesn’t want anything from me again. She is an emotional girl and can cry just for any little thing. Especially when I tease or do something that other girls would have laugh at. (You made her feel uncomfortable by chasing her. You gave her no space to develop feelings for you.)

The other day, I told her I loved her as I could see from all of her past behavior, that she wanted me to ask her out. (Ok, why the I love you statement? That comes off like a bribe: “Hey, I love you! Will you go out on a date with me because I said I love you?” You don’t know what love is. You don’t just casually throw those words around. Very weak behavior.) On telling her that, she said “thank you” and later told me that she is scared of a relationship now. (Translation: “Dude, you need to slow your roll!!! I just met you. I don’t know you well enough to know that I want to be in a relationship with you. You’re creeping me out. I hope you are not a stalker.”) She had a bad experience in her past relationship. I keep on with her, but on 2 other occasions, she told me “lets just be best of friends.” After this, I would stop calling her for week, but all those weeks, I would not be myself because I really love this girl so much. (So what. She does not feel the same way. Love is a marathon. Not a sprint race.) On like 4 occasions she told me “lets be friends” and I walk away for weeks. I would still call her back and we would get on again. (Do you notice this? You completely ignored the fact she did not call you. You keep acting like a friend and a guy who has no luck with women. Therefore, you continue to chase and get rejected every time.) Do I have any chance to be her man now, should just walk away and try the other two girls or I could still get her? I am even afraid of messing up with the other two girls too and have it end up like this. Please, I need your advice. I’m so confused. (Walk away. Bury your face in my book. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)

Looking forward to your reply soon.

Thanks

Mayor

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Published on March 1, 2012

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