The importance of not letting haters, people who are close to you or self hating and self loathing jerkoffs diminish you, and therefore, deter you from taking action to achieve your goals when they try to project their own weaknesses, flaws, faults, shortcomings and lack of success onto you, in an effort to make themselves feel better by tearing you down.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who used to work at a job with his brother. He’s young and a virgin. Recently he had an opportunity to have sex with a girl and lose his virginity, but he allowed his own fears, insecurities and doubts to get in the way of taking advantage of a great opportunity. He told one of his male coworkers about what happened and asked his opinion. His coworker laughed at him and agreed that he really blew a great chance to lose his virginity.
He says he’s read my book 9 times, and realizes he missed a great opportunity. To make matters worse, his office coworker told everybody he works with the story and also started telling everyone that he’s gay. Things became so bad at work that he ended up quitting the job. His brother told his parents what happened and now his whole family is constantly making fun of him, calling him gay, and telling him he should come out of the closet. He’s allowing the situation to diminish him and get in the way of his taking action to improve his social life and finally lose his virginity.
I have an ironic situation that I need to fix. I’m a virgin, and I had an opportunity to have sex with this girl, or so I believed. I read your book 9 times, and going back and looking at it, I believe I missed a chance to fuck her. I asked a co-worker his opinion, and he laughed at me and said, “Yeah, you pretty much fucked that up.” (He was brutally honest, but if he was a friend he wouldn’t have gone any further than that. They make fun of you and tear you down to feel better about their own shitty lives.) He started telling everyone at work with that I’m gay and told them the story. Everyone started saying I was gay. At first I thought it was funny, but after a while, it started to wear on me. (You allowed it to diminish you, but at the end of the day, everyone starts out as a virgin.) I started getting insecure, and people started to eventually say I look gay, talk gay, walk gay, blah, blah, blah. I ended up quitting the job. It doesn’t help I work with my brother, because he told my parents what happened. (Keep focusing on self help and applying the things you’re learning from me, and you will have a gorgeous woman, great relationships and success in business. Tune out these weak ass people in your life.) So now my parents are saying I’m gay, actually my whole family. I hear them talking. They even started asking me when I am going to come out. It’s gotten to the point where, when I go about my daily life and look at people, I feel like they think I’m gay. (Tell your parents, “I love you, but saying I’m gay all the time is not appropriate.” Let them know you need supportive parents. Loving families don’t tear each other down.) I get weird looks, people saying “ew,” and people saying I’m gay. This all happened in a span of a month. (What you observe, you participate in. Now this has become your focus, and you’re starting to believe it. Don’t focus on losing your virginity. You need to focus on the process of becoming the man you want to be so you can eventually have the kind of woman you want.) I say it’s ironic because this never happened before this whole situation with this girl and my co-workers fucking saying that shit to me every day. I literally fear people think I’m gay now, or that I talk gay or even walk gay. I get so uptight when walking or even talking, I second-guess the way I walk or talk. It’s overwhelming me, and I need to fix this now, because girls that even look at me say I’m gay. (The next time a woman asks you if you’re gay say, “Why don’t you kiss me and find out?”) I literally hear them. Again, this never happened before this whole situation. I don’t know if it’s because when I interact with people, I fear they think I’m gay or what man, but this shit got me depressed. I need to know what to do. (Focus on the process and start asking out women.) I definitely don’t want females thinking I’m fucking gay man, or anyone in general. I’m starting to believe what people are saying about me and shit. It’s fucking killing me man. (Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds fear and doubt.” All of this has caused you to stop taking action. If you start interacting with women, you’re going to feel better about yourself. Focus on the things you can control, which is what you do and say.)
My Response to him:
You need to stop being such a fucking pussy. It’s not your fault that your brother is an asshole and tries to build himself up by putting you down. It’s also not helpful that your family seems to find twisted pleasure in making you feel inferior and like there’s something wrong with you. The only thing you’re really doing wrong is that you are taking ownership of things that other people are projecting onto you. What you observe, you participate in. You’re allowing all of these negative outside influences to diminish your masculinity to the point that you are in a perpetually fearful state, and are no longer taking any action to help yourself improve your success with women.
The only thing you need to be focused on is talking to women, asking them out on dates, and going out on dates so you can perfect your skills. The best cure to shut the assholes up in your life is success. If a woman asks you if you are gay, say this to her with a James Bond smirk on your face, “Why don’t you kiss me and find out.” I want you to ask out 100 different women over the next 30 days. That’s 25 per week. If you do that, your success and abundance will skyrocket and other men will start wondering what’s your secret. Inaction breeds fear and doubt, taking action breeds confidence and courage. Get off your ass and take action. Stop paying attention to all of the weak people in your life. Fuck them.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“The world is mostly full of people who are too weak to believe in the beauty of their own dreams and take the required action to make them a reality. Deep down, everyone wants to be successful and reach their full potential, but most people are run by their fears, and therefore, spend their lives trying to avoid things that make them feel uncomfortable or experiencing failure. Successful people know that being uncomfortable and experiencing failure is a necessary prerequisite to achieving their goals and dreams. If you make the choice to be one of the rare few who is determined to reach their full potential, you’re going to have to deal with weaker people who are going to hate and project their own weaknesses onto you, in an effort to make themselves feel better about the fact that they are doing nothing to help themselves become all that they are capable of becoming. Otherwise, it’s impossible to achieve your outcomes if you allow other people to diminish and discourage you from doing what you know you need to do.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne