Why you should look at life as a continuous process of re-creation, or re-creating yourself anew as you live, experience, evolve and become better versions of who you really want to be during your life journey.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who has read my book thirteen times. He shares how he went from being a weak beta male who was pussy whipped and putting up with his girlfriend’s bad behavior and mistreatment of him, to a successful alpha male.
He discusses how he got rid of friends and toxic members of his peer group and people who were holding him back and having a negative influence on his mindset and life. He describes his healthy view on masculinity, the success in his career and his fun marriage to his lover, best friend and greatest teammate in order to inspire other guys to embrace what my book, “How To Be A 3% Man” teaches, so they can have the same level of success and happiness that he now enjoys. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
G’day from Downunder Coach,
Thank you for your work, I happily bought your new book, (Mastering Yourself), after reading How To Be A 3% Man 13 times, and you continue to blow me away with your insights, research and ongoing efforts!
What’s cool about teaching these things is, I’ve got tens of thousands of people I’ve interacted with over the years that I’ve coached, that have taken the wisdom, the knowledge, the techniques and the strategies that they’ve learned from me, and they’ve applied it in their own life. And just like you are with your success story, I get good feedback of how you applied it in your own life and the results you got.
So I learn from it, and everybody that gets to watch this video or listen to it on podcast form we can all learn from it. It’s like this collective brain of knowledge and wisdom. Plus you see it in the comments, people sharing their success stories and how it impacted their lives, and it’s like it pushes humanity forward. We all get to learn from each other’s mistakes and successes.
Coach, I wanted to share my experience to hopefully help other men be aware that not only girls but even their beta male friends will diminish their success in life.
Yes, as you start to grow beyond your peer group, there are going to be certain members of your peer group that are going to hold on and try to sandbag your success for two reasons. The first reason is, they’re not going to want to lose you. And the second reason is, if they can sandbag you successfully and get you to stay where you are and thinking like they do, then you validate their way of living and being in the world.
I have the usual tale, I was a weak, beta, pussy whipped washout that was struggling with a girl I then loved but continually settled for her shitty behavior, because I didn’t live like I deserved better, and after watching a few of your videos 3 years ago, I bought your book on iTunes which started my journey into my own experience of healthy masculinity.
Even though my book, How To Be A 3% Man, is about pickup, dating and relationship skills, it’s really about being a man, being in your masculine, living your truth and designing and creating your life the way you want, because that makes you attractive. The more successful you are at creating the life and lifestyle that you want, the more attractive you’re going to be to women.
I now live my dream as a sports injury therapist, and the best part Coach is how comfortable I make people feel these days simply with my presence. Men acknowledge me as their equal, and women are naturally relaxed and playful. My fun, seemingly effortless marriage to my beautiful, supportive best friend and passionate lover, as well as all other aspects of my life, continues to grow more positive! Thank you, Coach. You’re one of the greats!
As my life continually improves, it constantly makes me evaluate and re-evaluate the people I spend my time with, especially the guys.
Absolutely. If you’re going through a tough time, good friends will say, “you’ll get over it man, you’ll get another job, you’ll meet another girl, your business will eventually take off, you’ll figure it out.” But the shitty friends will tell you, “that was a fucking stupid idea, you should have never started that business, you should have never left that job, you should have never dumped that chick.” Those are the kind of people who will keep you stuck in place.
Some men view and comment on my life, and then when I refer them to your work, it does my head in how much resistance there is to check it out. (WTF Coach???)
The reality is, 99.99% of the people that we’re all surrounded by, they’ve given up. Quitting is easier. Success is hard. People always have excuses that get in the way, because it’s easy to quit. It’s easy to give up, because most of the people have. Most people, by the time they get to their late twenties, the dreams they had when they were kids are fucking dead, they’ve given up and now life is all about getting through the work week to get to the weekend, so they can get fucking hammered or check out and watch TV and not take any responsibility for their lives.
It’s hard to be successful. It’s hard to be an entrepreneur. It’s hard to be a high achiever. It’s hard to get your body in shape. It’s hard to take the things that are in my book and apply them and get better, especially if you’re the kind of guy who’s kind of nervous to talk to people, especially talking to cute girls. It’s hard to do that. It’s easy to give up and go and date the fat chick that’s ugly and you don’t feel anything for. That’s reality. I’m not here to blow sunshine up your ass.
I want you to have a great fucking life. I want you to get up every day like I do and be grateful for your life and where you are and all the things you see as blessings in your life. I look out over the water every day and say, this is amazing. I wake up when I want to wake up. I go to sleep when I want to sleep. I hang out with my friends and family, and I date when I want to date. It’s amazing to have total control of your time, but it was a motherfucker to get there. It wasn’t easy. And I was full of doubt and full of fear. Even though I had lots of success in my life, I’ve had lots of periods in my life when I made changes, I changed careers and I started new businesses where it wasn’t going very well for a lot of years. It didn’t just take off and blow up overnight. It took a long fucking time. And if you want to read about that struggle, I talk about that extensively in Mastering Yourself.
It wasn’t easy, but now where I’m at in the place in my life, life is great. I still have challenges. I still have things in my life that aren’t the way I want them to be, but we’ve all got something we’re working on. It’s like what Tony Robbins says, “Problems are a sign of life.” We’ve all got problems. It’s just how we respond to them determines our attitude and our trajectory in life.
Many of my former friends were incredibly weak and painfully couldn’t see how much they behaved like stalkers, chasing women away.
Remember, like attracts like. You mentioned you were a beta male pussy at one point, and so guess what — your friends were beta male pussies because they validated your way of living and being. When you became an alpha male, you didn’t want to hang out with those guys anymore. When you’re a beta male pussy, that’s why alpha males don’t want to hang out with you and alpha females don’t want to date you. It’s a different vibe. Like attracts like.
It’s hard to go from being a beta male to an alpha male. You have to go from being scared and timid, being shy and making excuses to being bold and taking action, taking risks and risking rejection, risking people laughing at you and saying harsh shit to you. That stuff cuts deep. You’ve got to learn to have thick skin and tune people out. Other people’s opinion of you is really none of your business. It’s not that you’re not going to give a fuck. You just want to give as few fucks as possible. You want to let it affect you as little as possible.
I had to tell my friend he was creeping this one girl out, because he was so stuck on messaging her and then calling her out for dating again, even though they were separated for months.
A guy who is doing that, he’s got a mentality of the way he sees the world, so he’s constantly playing that out day in and day out. That’s why nothing changes for him.
I wanted to slap him senseless, because I was so ashamed someone I cared for like a brother could behave like this.
It’s like a drug addict. You can’t help somebody that’s got a drug or alcohol problem until they recognize they’ve got a problem themselves and they want to help themselves. Maybe at some point your buddy will get tired of having drama and failing, and he’ll be open to reading my book, but the reality is, most people won’t. You can bless them and love them, but you’ve got to manage the distance and hang out with other people who are going to lift you higher, because all this guy is going to do is be a giant fucking boat anchor around your neck.
Another guy is an avid rock climber, and I later discovered now in his early 40’s he still lives with his parents, and girls run from him after a few meetings.
At this point, his parents probably enable his behavior. They coddled him their whole lives. And it’s easy to stay at home and live with mom and dad. It’s hard to get out there and take risks, kick ass, slay dragons, risk failure and risk being laughed at and talked about.
Both of these guys I really cared about, so I shared your work with them, but because they didn’t even bother to read it, I felt I had no choice other than to walk away, not wanting to support their beta behavior.
You did them a favor. It’s like you tried to help them. You tried to bring them along with you, but the reality is, everyone watching this video will have people like this in their lives. You can love them and want the best for them, but you shouldn’t care more about other people’s success than they do. If they’re open to being helped, great. But if not, sometimes you’ve got to leave people like this behind.
This is only a couple of examples, but I now look at men differently and only spend time with fellow alphas to save myself the stress and heartache of passively being brought down to their sad, depressing, hopeless, self-victimized beta level.
It is what it is man. You’ve got to have fun. That’s the whole point of living, to enjoy the fuck out of it.
These guys were also sometimes needy for my time and/or support, but unable to truly support me, as they had no great vision for themselves or drive to achieve it, preventing true heart to heart communication and fun fulfilling interactions.
Yeah, I know the type. They’re like energy vampires. They want you to be there for them, but when you’re going through a difficult time, they don’t want to be fucking bothered. It’s like Oprah says, “Everyone wants to ride in your limo, but a true friend will ride the bus with you when your limo is broken down.”
I would walk away tired, drained or disheartened.
I know how you feel. I cut a lot of those people loose in my twenties.
I want to let any guy who comes across your work know, read the fucking book 10-15 times and stop being a weak little boy, let your balls drop and stand tall as a firm, healthy alpha male. For yourself, and all the people around you! It is our birthright to be powerful men!! Together we will positively impact the world!! Hoorah!!
Thank you again Coach. My apologies for the extra words.
Those are great words. Thanks for sharing your success story.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Your friends, family, lovers and peer group influence your attitude, behavior and actions more than you know. When you think or feel that you are undeserving of what you really want, which is really just a false mental construct imprinted upon you by those you surround yourself with, your actions will be consistent with how you view yourself to be. Life proceeds out of your intentions for it. What you focus on expands and eventually becomes your reality. If you see yourself as limited, your success will be limited. If you see yourself as being abundant and full of possibilities, then your life will become a reflection of your actions and over time you will literally astound yourself with what you can accomplish. With enough time, repetition, learning, growing, improvement, refinement and persistence, you can create the life and lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of. You can either spend your limited time on this earth playing it safe and small, or you can spend it taking action and trying to become all that you are capable of being, having and experiencing.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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