Little To No Sex In Relationship

Comments

1. Lauren says

   December 31, 2018 at 2:21 pm

   Hey Coach,

   This is basically my relationship, except I’m the woman.

   Tomorrow is our 8th anniversary. In the almost 4 years we’ve lived in our current house, I have never slept the whole night in my husband’s bed. Occasionally, when we have sex, I’ll fall asleep in his room for a couple of hours at most. But then I will get up and go back to our son’s room.

   Our son is getting old enough now that I really don’t want to sleep in his room any more, but I don’t have any where else to sleep. The couch is too short, and my husband’s bed is less than inviting. I’ve even thought of sleeping in the car in the garage, but it’s so far away from the bedrooms that I wouldn’t be able to hear our son if he woke up in the middle of the night and needed assistance (he’s autistic and recently diagnosed with asthma).

   Why isn’t my husband’s bed inviting? For years, I’ve only gone to his bed for sex. If I’m in his bed, we have sex. I don’t really want to have sex every single night, so to avoid having to tell him no all of the time, I simply don’t go in there.

   Why don’t I want to have sex with my husband? Because he can be a real jerk sometimes. When I get stressed out, he’s not a good person to vent to. He gets defensive at things that I wasn’t directing at him, and he often gets mad at me for ever showing any kind of emotion besides happy (grumpy, tired, hurt, frustrated, etc.). He even gets mad at me for being grumpy when I’m sick and stressed out about having to still take care of everything despite being sick. He gives me no grace and he never asks about how I feel. He never even offers his time to sit down and talk about fun things we could do together, let alone our actual marital problems. We don’t do anything fun together. When he finally offers to do something remotely fun with me (like play a game together), I’m already in such a foul mood that I’d rather spend some time alone and not with him. And wouldn’t you know it, he can never find time to reply to my texts, but he always has several conversations with other people going on via text and social media. In short, he’s a big grump who spends more time talking to others than he does to me.

   I pointed your stuff out to him months ago, and while he started working on a few things, they haven’t really helped. He’s given up on dates because I started refusing them (we had like 5 coffee dates in a row, always on Wednesday at roughly 10 am, and at a new place each time). The coffee dates weren’t leading to sex, which I pointed out to him was the purpose of the dates, so he stopped even offering those. I offered in-home date nights where we make a nice dinner together, but he hasn’t helped plan a single one.

   It makes me incredibly sad that our marriage is this way. Sometimes my husband tries to be amorous, but I really can’t reciprocate. It feels like the only reason he gives me any kind of attention is so we’ll have sex. But even that has declined since I’ve been finding evidence of masturbation.

   Do you know how much it hurts to basically be ignored until he wants sex? I’m the live-in nanny and housekeeper, who takes care of our child and keeps our household running. And the only worth I seem to have as a wife and woman has to do with my anatomy.

   I refuse to live this way for the rest of my life.

   Reply

2. Ricky says

   April 7, 2022 at 12:36 pm

   Hi Corey 🙂 Thanks for the enthusiasm and earnest work to help your fellow men! I wish you told us what your relationship status is, at your age, and with your skills I assume that you have a great woman as a wife and some wonderfully turned out children? Don’t be ashamed to show this, your success would make your advice look much more trustworthy.
   I am 40, and by now I figured out by myself the hard way many of the things you teach.
   It seems to me that if I was that guy, what I would do is to do the same as her, go join your family in their bed, you’re the one that is sleeping alone, don’t you see that? Also, when you have children they ALWAYS have to come first, so like her, become obsessed with being the best dad in the world, if you are too stupid to understand you owe that to your family, then realise that most women find being a great dad very sexy, and she is obviously into parenting more than the average woman, so she’s gonna love that!
   You have a big advantage compared to your wife, you are making money, so use that to win your kids over, make them love you more than they love her, did anybody say they like disneyland? Just tell the kids if they would like that, and that if they want it you will take them, but only if they do something that they are supposed to do, and that your wife hasn’t manage to make them do despite long protracted efforts.
   Play with your kids for hours a few times a week, be that happy charismatic funny dad that kids adore, and when they misbehave, be gentle but firm, and after you tell them off, explain to them why you did that, and tel them that you love them and believe in them.
   Teach your kids all the important positive things you know, and be patient, gentle and unrelenting. Become their hero. And take lots of pictures of you being extremely hapy with them. Make sure there are a lot more than there are with your wife, so when you look back at the photos, it looks like u r doing by far the most parenting.
   When they make mistakes, always forgive them, but make sure you first discipline them.
   Love them deeply, strongly and unconditionally, blast them with it constantly and unrelentingly. Love is a feeling, cultivate it and make it stronger and stronger.
   Instead of going to the gym looking at yourself in the mirror while you lift weights and bitch about your wife in your head, or to the other douchebags there, use play time with the kids as your gym, kids abslutely love joyful high energy acrivities, and it will make both you and your kids fit. Take them to the beach and get in the water, or the local swimming pool and teach them to swim. Chase them around while they giggle like crazy and, lift them all the time and spin them around making them extatic. Make your play sessions four times a week’s worth of hard treadmill, and weight lifting and all that stuff you would be doing at the gy if you wanted to become a mean machine, and Impress the kids with your vitality and strength, your wife will find that extremely sexy. This will not only be amazing for the kids and your relationship, but your kids will learn that and do it with their kids, instead of learning to be a grumpy cunt that can’t get laid.
   Busy yourself with this and work and pursue your wife’s attention less than she pursues yours, but when you give it to her, be sexy and funny, and charismatic, but give her the vibe that you don’t give a shit if she digs it, you are doing it because you are a gentleman.
   Masturbate to keep a level head and do it in a way that will prepare you to give her a long hard fuck that will blow her brains out (train yourself to go hard and for a long time without an orgasm, and watch videos of guys fucking the shit out of girls and making them scream like crazy, and visualise yourself doing that to her. If you are shit in bed (and you probably are otherwise she’d be after it like heroin), this is your chance to become better. Watch how a man is supposed to fuck a woman like Rocco Siffredi and Manuel Ferrara. If you practice a few times a week, on top of the cardio and strength training, you will become a lion in bed in a few months even without actual sex practice. Look at your wife with an intense confident sexual gaze a few times a week, especially when she is doing something that looks sexy, really push that libido with a strong magnetic look while you make images in your head of how you will fuck the shit out of her, but with 0 neediness, you are doing this to tease her, and imagine that if she comes to you, you will run your hands all over her until she gets wet and flushed, then tell her how hot she is, and how obsessed you are with her beauty, then drop her, and then go do something else that is important and shows discipline, preferably that she is intimidated by and wishes she would be as good as you at. Slap her ass, and tell her damn that looks tasty a.f. and flirt with her every chance you get, blast that sexual energy into her, but make no attempt to sleep with her, only do it when she comes to you for it.
   When she asks for sex, this is your moment, don’t look like a grateful rescue dog, dominate her with a confident fiery gaze, that will make her feel like a horny insecure teen ager, grab her like a caveman, take her to bed and don’t stop fucking her hard and sensual until she looks like her head is going to explde from bigger and bigger orgasms, and when the last really big one is coming don’t give it to her, so she will be obsessed with getting it soon, pull out and cum on top of her while she whimpers confused that the orgasm didn’t quite make it
   Then say to her, I’m sorry I haven’t been doing this to you more often, it’s hard to find the time and energy with work and the kids, but I feel so close to you now, I think we should probably both make the effort.
   When she comes back to you in a few hours or a couple of days begging for sex, do the thing where you paw her and turn her on and kiss her passionately, then tell her discipline first, then at a later time when the chores are done, you will take her to the bedroom and give her what she needs. Then keep flirting and teasing and whispering in her ear what you are gojng to do to her later. Later, do the same thing, except this time push her over the edge and give her that orgasm she is not sure she can handle without her head exploding.
   Buy her presents that will help her do the positive things she is obsessed with, such as kids stuff.
   If she doesn’t want a babysitter, get a language tutor instead, hire some french girl to teach them, or whatever you think is important for them to learn, say to the wife that it is callous to deny them this advantage, and you are putting your foot down, the tutoring is happening.
   Clean up your diet, and be more disciplined than her in every way.
   Never bitch and moan, tell her things that you have an issue with calmly and succintly, and if she starts some bullshit, don’t interrupt her, let her make a complete fool of herslef, listen to her until she finishes talking looking like you care about what she has to say, and despite the fact that she is being a bitch and it is irritating you, you see past that, to her humanity and her best intentions, and you love her, keep looking at her like you understand her for a couple more seconds than it is normal before replying to people, then tell you don’t think arguing is the answer, and perhaps you should both think about it, and schedule a time in a few hours after you both had time to think about what was said and you will have a calmer wiser way about the matter, then dart off and become mr happy with the kids and leave her miserable and asamed of herself while you and the kids are having the time of your life.
   You get the idea.
   Also, Corey, stop talking about politics, it is divisive, people that aren’t stupid understand that all politicians are assholes, and if you look like a fanboy, you will only attract idiots that like the same asshole you are talking about. If you want to push some creepy right wing agenda, do it more subtly.
   Much love, and best wishes to be able to help as many people as possible live their best life and help others do that too!

   Reply