In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss two different emails. In the first email, the viewer describes a recent success story of how he has been able to successfully re-attract his ex after applying what he learned from my book, videos and articles. This all happened even after he, in his own words, “ran to her like a little bitch” when she dumped him. He describes what he did differently, how he changed his approach and how this led to her apologizing, saying she was sorry and that the breakup was all her fault.
In the second email, the viewer has been trying to follow what I teach to re-attract his ex with mixed results. He has been unable to consistently exercise emotional self-control and treat her properly. He is still trying to force her to like him more and want to spend more time with him, but all it does is drive her away. He asks my opinion on what he needs to do differently.
This is not so much a question, but a comment. First off, dude you’re the fucking shit! I’ve been watching almost all of your YouTube videos, and I bought your book. Your shit has made my balls drop a few inches lower. I would like to be a success story for you, and I’ll tell you why.
My girl and I broke up a month and a half ago, and of course, what did I do? I ran to her like a little bitch. Obviously, that was the wrong thing to do, but as I started reading and watching your shit, I realized I needed to be a fucking man about it and be the way I was before I met her. I will make a long story short. I got to the point of the date, ignored like you covered, and told her the best quote you have given, “look babe, I would love to speak with you, but I’m really busy, so I would love to give you my undivided attention when we have drinks tonight,” and she brought up the relationship and everything! Dude, even when she said, “I don’t know how to be your friend,” my response was, “if this is a friendship, then I do not want it.” (Great response.) She ate that shit up like it was free money. We ended up fucking like the passionate lovers we were in the past, and she started crying, telling me she loved me and she fucked up. (Women are the ones to end a relationship 75% of the time.)
Dude, you are a fucking genius and people need to listen to your shit and stop being pussies about life. I wish all your fame and fortune to come true. I am a Corey Wayne success story!
First I would like to say, your book and your videos are fucking awesome. Let me get into what’s going on. I’ve been seeing this girl for over 10 months now. We broke up because I was being weak and not displaying my alpha male qualities as of a result to people telling me stories about her. (If you have weak friends in your friend group, they can sabotage your success.) I let it consume me and should have trusted her. Anyway, where I am at now is, we didn’t talk for a month, then we started hanging out, having fun, and hooking up a couple times in the last two weeks. This is the thing, when we hang out, she is all over me, she talks about the future, and she tells me she loves me. However, shortly after, we barely even talk. (You’ve only hung out two times in two weeks. Being impatient will work to your disadvantage.) I don’t chase her or blow her phone up, but it sucks that I can’t even get a good night from her. (You’re butt hurt because her actions don’t meet your expectations. It’s ridiculous.) She has two kids that I love and that love me. They call me dad and cry when I leave. Recently one of them had a birthday party that I wasn’t invited to, and before that, we barely spoke for a couple of days before, so it confused me. (It has only been two weeks. You are being unreasonable.) She called me yesterday after not speaking to me, and said she loved me and needed me, because she saw her ex with his new girlfriend after she picked the kids up for the birthday party. Then, of course, after we hung up, we haven’t talked. So what I did is, I said, “if I’m not important to you, and if I continue to be treated like I’m not important, then maybe we should go our separate ways.” (That just says, “I’m needy and desperate and I’m going to force myself into your life.”) Obviously, that wasn’t the right thing to say, and I should have waited for her, because she had just contacted me. Her reply was unbelievable, “okay thanks.” (What did you expect? You’re telling her these things because you’re trying to control and manipulate her.) Then I told her, that’s only if she feels that way. Her reply was “I’ve been busy with this party shit.” I said, I understand about the party, but I’m not stupid. Then she said, “what are you talking about?” I said, “in general you ignore me.” (You’re making her feel like shit. If you keep doing this, this is what she will associate with you. Eventually she won’t want anything to do with you, which is what happened the first time around.) Keep in mind, she goes hot then cold all the time, and I’m tired of it, and she ignores me when I reply to her. (You’re not following the book, therefore you are experiencing pain and getting undesired results. Chill out, wait to hear from her, and then make a date. Stop being neurotic and insecure.)
The bottom line is, yes I know I wasn’t following the book, but I need to know what to do from here to mend this relationship back together.
My response to him:
You are correct that you should have never said that to her. As I discuss in my book and in countless articles, when you are trying to re-attract somebody who blew you off, you must let them come to you at their own pace without trying to force things. It is obvious you were trying to force things and sent that message trying to make her like you more. What you should have been doing was nothing, waiting to hear from her, and then making the next date when you did.
If you had other women in your life and other options, it would be much easier for you to do the right thing with all women in your life. Never contact her again for any reason. If you hear from her, assume she wants to see you and make the next date. Hang out, have fun and hook up like I talk about in my book. It takes many weeks and months for a woman to fall in love with you. You can’t go out on a few dates and expect a woman to be ready to have a family and live happily ever after with you. That shit only happens in the movies. You should use this article and video as a guide on how to interact with her going forward if she ever reaches out to you in the future: “7 Principles To Get An Ex Back.”
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“Haste makes waste, as the old saying goes. When we are impatient, try to force things and generally are in a rush to make anything happen quicker than it is, this almost always will bring undesired results. When we display impatience with lovers who do not love us in the time frame, or in the ways that we want, we drive them away. When we become impatient during a sales negotiation, we won’t get the best price that we want. When we are impatient with other people, we cause them to not want to be around us. The superior approach to all personal and professional desires we want is to state our desires and goals, take action and give other people and the universe the time and space to meet our desires. The very nature of trying to force things is an indication and statement to the universe that we do not feel worthy or deserving of our hearts desires. People and the universe will then be forced to agree, match, mirror and align with our beliefs and convictions. Developing and practicing infinite patience with all matters of the heart is a wise approach to life and getting what we want.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne