How to know the right moment to make your move when your girl starts contacting you again after ignoring you or being cold & distant. There is a fine line between hanging back when your girl becomes flaky, cold and distant and making your move. It’s really a matter of managing your inner game by learning to find a balance between being mysterious and distant, and being direct and confident to set up dates or to seduce your girl. If you’ve read my book, then you know it took me about a year and half to get things right and learn that balance or happy medium. I had no good teachers to help me who understood what I was dealing with internally. When a guy first finds out about my work and starts applying what I teach, he’ll usually do what I first did which is back off too much. You want to learn to maintain your emotional self control by walking the middle ground between being sweet and charming, and being cold and distant or a cold fish. The following is an e-mail from a reader who has realized after watching a few of my videos, that he basically became the woman in the relationship. His girlfriend ignored a lot of his texts and phone calls because he continued to call and chase when he did not hear from her. He’s backed off enough to cause her to start initiating contact and talking about her feelings and how much she loves him, but from his e-mail I can tell he runs the risk of being too much of a cold fish. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail detailing the correct approach he should take:
Hey Coach Corey,
I made a PayPal donation to you on your site and I will definitely make more because 1. I’m taking up your valuable time and 2. The info is AWESOME! You are dead on right. This is soo bad ass that I have to let you know how just three or four videos got me started along the right path to being the one that is chased instead of chasing in a relationship. (Awesome! However, you need to read my book and not just cherry pick some info from a few videos. In my articles and videos I answer questions guys are having implementing what I teach in my book.) I sent you a message earlier today about how I fell into the insecure bitch role in my relationship and how I pretty much drove her away with constant texts and calls. (You were acting like a woman. Chasing women guarantees rejection.) I was also suppose to have a talk over the phone today and I was sure I had totally fucked this relationship up and we were going to break up. So this is what happened. I watched some of your videos and decided not to be the chick anymore. I deleted all my girls info from my phone and did not text or call. She actually texted me later at 6ish, and said, “you must be mad at me cuz I did not hear from you today.” I replied only “not at all mad” and deleted again. I got another text around 10:30 pm saying “night night. I love you a lot and was thinking about us today.” (Translation: “I have not heard from you all day like normal and I like it because it’s making me want you again. I like it when you act like the man so I can be a woman and wonder where I stand with you. I’d rather seek YOUR approval instead of you seeking mine.” I would have texted back, “Thanks baby, I think you should get your little ass over to my place so we can spoon and see what pops up.” You don’t want to turn into a cold fish. However, maybe a little mystery of what you are up to is just what the doctor ordered so she really starts wanting you more.) Well I did not text back or call. Usually I would text her all day and try to call to say goodnight. (Yea, that’s a bad way to go.) Lately, I was getting almost NO response to her texts and usually voice mail on calls, but today she texted me without me having to nag her. I’m fully ready to walk away and mean it. (That is not necessary. That’s for use only when she breaks up with you and tries to get you to go along with being friends only.) I would like to continue the relationship if possible, but I know I need to reverse roles first and make her wonder where she stands. What do you think? (You don’t start ignoring her and being an asshole. You just wait for her to initiate contact, then make definite plans for her to come see you. I would have her come over to your place and make dinner together by making a definite date the next time she brings up missing you, wanting to see you, how much she loves you, etc. When she sounds insecure of where she stands in her texts, make plans. You also need to read my book ASAP to keep from making unecessary mistakes and causing yourself avoidable heartache. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.)
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
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