Mastering Self Control So You Can Attract Your Dream Woman

How to master self control so you can attract & keep the woman of your dreams.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who has been following my work for two and a half years. He shares how reading my book dozens of times, practicing what it teaches and the struggle he went through to master his emotions and self control so he didn’t blow things with the woman of his dreams.

He still made mistakes along the way, but the book helped him get to the Promised Land. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

I got a success story!

This particular viewer has been following my work for about two and a half years. He shares how reading my book dozens of times, I think he says read it over like 40 times. He really took it seriously, took it to heart and really took the time to learn the material, read the book backwards and forwards to get to the point where he knew it so well he could literally teach a class on it, and he’s kind of got it memorized. That’s the level that you want to get to. Then after you’ve done that, typically 10, 15 times, sometimes 20 times, the guys have the best success stories. They go above and beyond the 10 to 15 times. On top of that, they’ll go back through the book once or twice a year just to keep things fresh.

Where I see in my phone sessions is, especially guys that met somebody, got married, moved in together, started a family together is, they get away from the book and they hadn’t gone back to it for four, five, or six years, and they just kind of slowly start to go back asleep because they’re not really consuming the book or videos anymore and they’re consuming traditional media, TV and movies, which basically re-brainwashes them into dysfunctional archetypes. So when you go back through the book again, they’re always shocked at how much they got away from it and how much they forgot. Whatever you observe, you participate in. What you do often, you do best. If you get a lot of success, but then you stop following the fundamentals, well at some point, that success is going to start to go sideways on you.

This is a really good email because this guy really struggled with mastering his emotions and self control, especially with a girl he really liked that knocked his socks off. Another big reason why I always say you got to read the book 10 to 15 times and you got to take it seriously is because when you know it backwards and forwards, when you get into a relationship or you start dating a woman like this that knocks your socks off and you haven’t learned to kind of overcome or punch through that wall of fear that we, as men, all have to kind of get through between pursuing too much and not pursuing enough, it’s knowing the book backwards and forwards that you can lean on that when you’re really feeling overwhelmed by your emotions. As you see, this guy admits he made some mistakes along the way, despite the fact he went through the book so many times. The fact that he had such a high level of knowledge and familiarity with the book and the fundamentals, when he was overwhelmed emotionally, he was able to exercise enough self control to where he didn’t come unglued. Now, if he’d only read the book or thumbed through it a couple of times, or four or five times, he probably wouldn’t have been right in his success story in the first place.

There really is no shortcut to success. You’re going to have to spend the time with the book and the fundamentals if you want to get this part of your life handled so you no longer have these issues where you’re talking, texting and basically chasing women out of your life who were already predisposed to liking you.

So let’s go through his email.

Viewer Email:

Corey,

It took me months to take the courage to finally write you an email. I cannot help but share a success story. I went through a breakup in 2022 (I broke it off) after being with my ex for eight years, and ending the relationship, I jumped right into the dating world. After two years of dating, including getting ripped off by a piece of crap online dating coach, going on countless dates, disappointments, I’m proud to stay after 10 months of dating (her). I really am in the relationship of my dreams.

I’ve been a follower for two and a half years years, read your book countless times, at least 35-40 times and watch videos for almost hours a day, in the car, at work and at home. So much so, one of my cousins makes fun of me telling me I am under a spell and brainwashed.

Well dude, whatever it takes to get familiar with the material and probably what happened is you’re constantly saying a lot of things that you’ve learned in my book, and somebody like your cousin, who’s probably not very successful with the ladies, this is one of the ways that people cope when they come across information or things they should be doing differently in their life, but it’s too uncomfortable for them. So they ridicule it and they dismiss it outright. Therefore, they don’t have to do anything to shape and change their destiny. They just basically stay the same. In other words, their personal story keeps them stuck where they are and not really open to learning anything new, but guys like your cousin, when they get into a painful situation or they get rejected or a girl leaves them, then they’re open to hearing it.

This is just typically what people are like. If you talk about eating healthy or juicing green vegetables, going to the gym, or changing your job, if you’re miserable, when you start discussing these things with people, what you’ll hear in their response is their personal story coming out, and their personal story is what they tell themselves so they don’t stay in their little box. They don’t have to step outside their comfort zone. Everything they’re doing in their life is great, and the status quo will stay the same because most people tend to major in minor things.

We met in May, and although she jokes about it she will tell you what drew me to her was only messaging her once a day on the dating app, even joking, “Oh great, now I have to wait 24 hours to find out if you are free this weekend!”

Well, if you’re a busy professional ,and you might be on four or five different dating apps, so you’re not going to be on and off those things all day long, you may set some time apart to go through your messages and respond or to swipe profiles again if you’re on three to five different dating apps. I mean, that could be almost another full time job in and of itself. People that are smart with their schedule, they may only log into the dating app once a day to respond to messages, and less really is more.

It’s a scientific fact that women are more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. If you’re busy and you got other things going on besides being on a dating app, as you saw here with this guy’s now girlfriend, it works. The little difference that makes the difference.

When we finally went out two weeks later, I had a blast. In the first month there were little tests with text messages, like when I would ask her out, but I stood firm. By July, she was buying me little gifts, and I knew her interest was high. We had a great summer and I continued to fall for her and have to show immense discipline, using the phone only for dates, and even having to stand mistakes I would make the once in a while I did not make a date when she would reach out.

Yeah, you can get caught up in the conversation going back and forth and then like, “Oh, I didn’t even ask her out. Why didn’t I do that?”

I cannot tell you how powerful it is to go through the emotional pain of mistakes like not immediately making the date (I mean, the next freaking text/reply should be plans) during a reach out, or feeling like you sent a needy text, or even waiting the occasional day or two for her to reach out, but wow is it worth it! It truly is not about being perfect, but perfecting the mindset, simple actions and knowing to do much more things correctly than the little mistakes.

Yeah. The idea is nobody’s gonna be perfect. The book is not set in stone. Everything is not like an ironclad rule. The idea is that you’re trying to do more things right than wrong. You’re trying to do most things right, because every time you make a mistake or you do something that makes you look unattractive, then you’re going to see a fall off in her interest. So the more you make mistakes, the lower her interest goes. The fewer mistakes you make and the more things you do correctly, the higher her interest in you will go.

She does 95%-100% of the pursuing, tells me she loves me daily, and truly is a woman I feel is the hottest, sweetest most amazing girl that I am proud to have her on my arm. I have to say, at a recent family party my family said to me, “Bob (Changed as a good viewer, LOL), you got a hottie.”

Corey, I cannot thank you enough for your work and mindset that I continue to try craft and perfect every day. Guys, read the book, read the book, read the book and, oh yeah, read the book! The reason why you read the book is to truly cope with mistakes, learn, master and reach and maintain a truly healthy, amazing relationship.

I look forward to even reaching out to you sometime in the next year for coaching.

All the best,

Bob

Well, isn’t that a nice way to end the week with a nice success story? And I’ve never coached this guy. You know, I guess down the road we may end up on the phone. He says he wants to get in touch. It looks like he had a bad experience with somebody that’s, I guess, specifically a dating coach. Obviously, you guys know I’m a life coach. I do a lot more than the dating and relationship stuff, even though I’d say the majority of the questions are centered around that. My goal as a coach is to help guys accentuate the behaviors that are masculine and attractive so they not only can reach their full potential in their personal lives, but also their professional lives as well.

I mean 35, 40 times. That’s a lot to go through the book, but he’s always listening to videos. That’s a guy that’s a really serious student. That is somebody that’s gotten to the point where they’re just like, “I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of losing good women. I’m tired of this. Obviously, my approach is not ideal and I need to make some changes,” and when you change your story like that, you literally can change your life, like this guy did.

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