How to decipher mixed signals from women you like so you can tell if they’re really into you or not. Sometimes along your journey of life you’ll end up working with, riding the train or subway with or seeing someone who works in the same office building you do every day that you feel attraction for… and… who you think feels attraction for you too. Because you can’t help but see one another or run into each other, you end up becoming friendly towards one another. So what do you do when you find out that the hot girl you’ve been chatting with or bumping into occasionally has a boyfriend, but you think she’s interested in you? The following is an e-mail from a reader who sees a girl he likes on the same train sometimes. He thinks about her often, but she has a boyfriend and he wants to know how to bring the subject up so he can get a shot if it does not work out with her boyfriend. He feels he’s getting mixed signals from her at times. My comments are (in bold brackets like this) in the body of his e-mail:
Dear Coach Corey Wayne,
Long story short, I met this girl on the train who has been giving me the green light, but after I got her number… it has been mixed signals ever since. (That is because you see what you want to see. You are projecting your strong feelings of attraction onto her and ignoring the fact she has a boyfriend. Women in this situation will chat and remain friendly with men like you, but they are loyal to their men. However, if she breaks up with him, she will let you know. You should initiate no contact with her and only respond to her contacting you first. Why? She has a boyfriend. There are plenty of hot and single ladies who are ready to mingle with men who get it. You can spend your time with them. If you bump into her on the train in the future once again, and she brings up the fact she’s single, it more than likely means she is romantically interested in you. Invite her to meet you out someplace for drinks or tea. Make definite plans or withdraw the offer charmingly saying, “let’s just do it some other time when your schedule is a little more open.” Then change the subject. If she really likes you, she would agree to meet you. If not, then she’ll only give you excuses.) She told me, “Yes of course friends is fine as I am talking to someone, so friends it is.” (Translation: “We’re just friends.” In movies and entertainment we constantly see men and women who become friends with someone they like in order to hook up because they don’t have the guts to ask for what they want directly. In the movies the “friends first” approach works. In real life it does not.) However, when we see each other on the train, she would look at me when I am not looking. When I catch her looking she would smile at me. Another thing is, when I sit at the end of the train where she sits, she would stay there until I leave the train. When I sit at the other end of the train she would come to where I would sit. She would initiate the conversation and try to keep it going. Plus, she would at least pretend to have things in common with me, at least the way I feel about it. She told me she has never been to “such and such place” when I tell her I am going to “such and such place.” I would like to ask her out, but the “talking to someone” barrier has stopped me from doing so. (Dude, she has a boyfriend. You should be asking out women who are single and available. Maybe someday this girl will become available. If she does and she actually likes you, she will let you know she no longer has a boyfriend. Then you can ask her out. Otherwise, practice meeting and dating other women so you can improve your skills of seduction.) I was going to ask her out and do the “take away” as you described in your book. (The take-away is used when she won’t make a definite date to gauge if she really wants to see you or not. This tells me you don’t know my book very well. That means you need to read it at least 10-15 times so you get to know it so well you could give a class on it. Your knowledge has so many gaps still, that you will make way too many unnecessary mistakes to get very far with women. You can download the Amazon Kindle version of my book to your Smartphone, PC, Mac or iPad in under 60 seconds for only $9.99 by CLICKING HERE to learn how to meet and date the type of women you’ve always wanted and have effortless relationships.) I was going to tell her in person: “Listen, I know you are seeing someone and I hope you two stay together if that’s what you want, but just so you know when you become single, I’d love to take you out. I care about your happiness. I just want you to be happy. You have my contact info. Contact me either by texting, calling, or emailing me when you become single.” From there I will leave it up to her to contact me and not contact her at all until she does first. I barely see her on the train now. I was thinking about telling her this by writing an email to her instead. Would it be okay if I told her that in email? (She already knows you like her. Women know that if you are talking to them that you like them. If she becomes single and actually has interest in you, she will email you. You don’t need to tell her that. She has a boyfriend. Let it go. Spend time practicing your social skills talking to women who are actually available.)
Looking forward to your reply.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“There is only one success ~ to be able to spend your life in your own way.” ~ Christopher Morley (1890 – 1957)