Modern Women?

The harsh reality of modern women and how they really operate in their intimate relationships.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss a five-star book review from a typical woke modern woman on my book, How To Be A 3% Man. She has a husband of 17 years who she is only roommates with and no sexual intimacy. She says she is poly-amorous and has a side piece partner who is really masculine and who acts like a man. A liberal woman who is attracted to masculinity. Her husband has improved significantly since she gave him a copy of my book, but he still has not gotten his act together at the time of the reviews posting.

She really details how her attraction and respect for him caused her to become more masculine and “butch” as she put it to make up for his lack of leadership in their marriage, and how this eventually led to her seeking sex and fulfillment outside of their marriage. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of her email.

I wouldn’t say it’s an email. I actually got this from a five-star review on my book. It’s actually from a woman who, it’s pretty clear when you go through her her review that she’s probably riding with Biden. In other words, she’s a liberal or kind of a typical woke type of woman, but she really liked my book. It helped her.

So she’s been married to her husband of 17 years, but they’re only roommates. They don’t have any sex or intimacy. She has a side piece. She has a boyfriend on the side, if you will. She still lives with her husband. It’s an interesting email, because she’s got this guy on the side that she does hook up with and have sex, and he’s very masculine because obviously you see a lot of memes, you see a lot of videos where the typical liberal woman is always with these skinny jeans dudes that are very effeminate, very girly, often sound like they’re gay and they’re not very masculine. Then they complain where all the good guys gone.

Here’s a woman, obviously liberal, but the guy she’s actually dating and sleeping with is masculine, and I would say probably skews more towards conservative in his views. Just a guess, I could be wrong. It’s really interesting because she details because she had she’s 17 years with her husband. She really details the things that he did that totally turned her off. She says she’s poly-amorous, lives with her husband, doesn’t sleep with him, doesn’t have sex. They’re just roommates. She’s made it clear to him that they’re just roommates.

What’s interesting is over the years, she’s given him a lot of books trying to help him, and the one book she gave him that he actually listened to and read was mine. She said he’s made significant improvements since he started implementing the book, but he still is not been the leader in a relationship. The reason why I chose to go through this is such a good email from a woman’s perspective, where it really goes item by item on the things he does that turned her off and the things that he didn’t do that she needed from him. So obviously guys watching this can make the connection with what I’m talking about in the book, and with a woman here that wrote a really good five-star review.

Viewer’s Book Review:

I’m a woman. I bought this book because I was fed up with my husband’s behavior. I ran across the author on YouTube. I found the book to be very helpful for men. It’s all common sense to me, but based on the behavior of my husband and other men I have had relationships with in the past, this is pretty revolutionary for men.

I found the book very repetitive, but I can see why it is.

While repetition is the mother of skill and important concepts get repeated over and over and over again because you’re only going to retain maybe 8%-10% of something, when you see it, you read it or you watch it.

That’s a big reason why I tell guys to read my book 10 to 15 times, because they have to learn to think differently. They’ve got to learn to think in a mindset that’s actually attractive to women and will help facilitate them reaching their full potential. Meaning the guys reaching their full potential, their mission, purpose and whatever their life’s work happens to be, because these things are super important. If you want to remain attractive to women, you got to have your life in order.

Men are dense and really need to have things repeated over and over again. I can also understand why the author recommends that men read it over and over again, for the same reason. For me, and probably most women, the concepts could easily be outlined in a pamphlet. I know from experience, however, that men generally take longer when it comes to anything having to do with the emotions of women, or how we want to be treated.

I recommended this book to my husband, who, in the past has just ignored every book I gave or recommended to him.

You can already tell the guy just doesn’t listen to her. He doesn’t make her feel heard and understood. As you’ll see, there’s lots of other things that he’s doing that have just completely turned her off to the point where this guy’s married, living with his wife, and yet his wife has a boyfriend and has sex with the boyfriend, but she doesn’t have sex with her husband. Yet he puts up with it.

A lot of guys will put up with this stuff. Especially if they live in a blue state. Obviously she’s a liberal woman. If she lives in a blue state and he goes through divorce court, he’s going to get his clock cleaned.

Most of the books I have asked him to read have to do with insecurity, low self-esteem, co-dependence, jealousy and controlling behaviors. I think the only reason my husband read this particular book is because I told him we are just roommates now, and I meant it. He read the book. We are still just roommates, but his behavior has improved significantly. I don’t know if it will continue.

Well, he’s going to have an emotionally compelling reason for it to continue, and it’s got to be emasculating as a man to be living with your wife, knowing full well that she has a boyfriend, that she’s going out, dating, sleeping with and spending time with, and all you get is the roommate. Imagine living like that.

There’s countless guys out there around the world, millions and millions of dudes that are living in similar situations and just don’t have the balls to leave or to do something about it, but this guy’s made a little bit of a change. This review is from several years ago anyways, so who knows what happened.

As the author says, you really have to own the content of the book and let it become you.

So notice what she says. He could tell she’s spent a lot of time dressing this dude down verbally, mentally and emotionally.

That would require a lot of effort on the part of the average lazy man.

I just got an email today, which is going to be another newsletter later in this week from a guy that came across my work several years ago, read 3% Man once, watched a bunch of videos, got into a relationship, didn’t follow instructions, and then he got dumped. His friends giving him kind of a cope excuse, “Oh, it’s nothing you did. It was just her. She was a bad choice,” you know, that kind of stuff to make him feel better. Once he went back through the book again, he spells out everything he did did wrong. That led to her leaving him and dumping him.

Let’s face it, once a woman shows any sign of forgiveness, or opens any pathway to her heart, men like children, revert back to old, pathetic behaviors.

Well, the big complaint that women have about men is that the romantic at first, and then they change. In other words, they stop dating and courting her. There’s a chapter in the book that says The Courtship Never Ends, and obviously their courtship ended a long time ago.

I did take issue with the basic premise of the masculine/feminine dichotomy. I’m bisexual and many of my friends are transgender or fall somewhere on the spectrum between feminine and masculine. I think the author oversimplified how women are and how we want men to behave toward us. I can see how some guys could misunderstand and take being “masculine” too far, especially if they miss the more subtle nuances and only take away, “Me strong man, you weak woman.”

The issue of gender and the feminine/masculine stereotypes was finally addressed at the end of the book, not really to my satisfaction, and much too late, almost as an afterthought.

She got really triggered, and you’ll see she goes through it by my discussing masculine and feminine, but it really helped her again. Remember she gave this a five-star review.

I would have been less annoyed as I read the book, had it been addressed earlier on.

So she got triggered. Why? Because she has a wound with it. At the end of the day, the book gave her clarity and really helped her understand herself better, understand masculine and feminine energy.

That’s why I have a lot of gay clients, a lot of lesbian clients and I have some trans clients as well. The stuff that I teach works. It all depends on what your dominant essence is, which determines which behaviors you display.

That said, this book was written for “masculine” cis-gendered men…

You hear those terms a lot. Five years ago, you never heard this stuff.

…Who I suppose are interested in very feminine, cis-gendered woman. I think the problem comes when readers come in with their own ideas of what makes a man masculine and what makes a woman feminine, which, in my opinion, is really unfair to both genders.

The reality is, what men and women respond to in relationship and what creates attraction is what it is. It’s the same in lesbian relationships, it’s the same in gay relationships, and it’s the same in trans relationships. There’s always a strong, dominant masculine one, and a polarized feminine one. When the the couple and the relationship acts too similar, they become like platonic roommates and they don’t have any interest in romance. As soon as you polarize to what your natural essence is, the attraction and the sex comes right and the intimacy comes right back.

Society and culture has created a lot of funky baggage around the concepts of masculinity and femininity. Corey does make that distinction, but it’s clear that he is explaining it to men.

Well, obviously the book is written for guys because they need the most help.

In some ways, the book seems condescending and patronizing to women. Perhaps that is intentional, to meet the male reader where he likely is, and perhaps to get him on the author’s side.

It’s just reality. You could tell her, being a liberal woman, she’s been given these concepts through the woke mind virus that she’s been fed. What’s happening is she runs into reality, i.e. my book, and you’ll see she recognizes that her preconceived notions and the woke stuff, some of the woke stuff she was taught was just total nonsense, and it goes against reality and the way human beings innately are. You can’t change what’s innate to people. You can’t change what’s innate to men and women.

I find the idea that men need to be MEN so women can be feminine, to be a very narrow way of looking at things, but again, men are already confused about basic concepts of communication and what women want, so I guess it makes sense to polarize the genders for the sake of the average reader.

Now keep in mind, the guy she’s with is very masculine, even though she’s like, “I disagree.” At the end of the day, if you look who she’s actually in a relationship with, she’s in a relationship with a masculine man who leads her, and her roommate is her husband who doesn’t lead her.

I think it would have helped to clarify this earlier on in the book instead of waiting until the end. I do like how Corey explained that women can become more masculine when their male partner is too feminine…

This is where her “a-ha” moments come in,

…Which I hadn’t really thought about before, but I agree with. My husband has been a weenie for so long, I had to wear the pants, so to speak, because things had to get done.

As I talk about in the book, if the guy is very effeminate and he doesn’t lead, it forces the woman into her masculine to pick up the slack, and that’s exactly what she was doing in her relationship, and she didn’t even realize.

As a result, I leaned further and further into my masculinity to compensate for my husband’s lack of effort, responsibility, presence and strength. I often rationalized that, as a bisexual woman, I go through phases, moving back and forth along the feminine /masculine spectrum.

Again, that’s what the woke ideology teaches, “Oh, gender is a spectrum. You’re masculine on some days, some days you’re feminine.” It really has to do with who you’re in relationship with. If you’re natural essence is feminine, you’re going to be most attracted to and respect somebody. It’s highly polarized and they’re masculine if you’re in your feminine and vice versa.

It hadn’t really occurred to me that I became more butch when my husband was weaker and more pathetic, always leaving all the decisions and responsibilities of everything to me.

Yeah, her husband basically made her the man in the relationship, and she resented the hell out of it because she’s a feminine essence, even though she thinks she fluctuates up and down the scale. Or at least that’s the way she used to think. Now she realizes it was just in response to how her husband was showing up or not showing up.

I think I did the same thing as a child, because so much was placed upon my shoulders. It’s hard to do all the work of a woman (men don’t realize we do more in general)…

Yeah, right.

…Plus all the work of a male partner when wearing a skirt and high heels. It’s hard to feel sexy, feminine and desirable when your male partner is lazy, disrespectful, disengaged and generally takes everything for granted.

So he’s totally checked out and probably her constant berating him and trying to emasculate him. At some point, he gave up.

I give the book five stars instead of four because I think this revelation alone was worth it for me. I am poly-amorous. My other male partner is far more masculine, respectful, present and active, which does free me up to present myself in a more feminine way.

Yeah, because she feels safe to do that, because now she’s got a guy providing the masculine container to do that, which obviously your husband at home has not been doing that for many, many years.

I can be more feminine (not weak) around him, because he is more masculine (not controlling or possessive).

He just acts like a man. He’s got more masculine energy than she does, and because of that, she feels safe to lean into her femininity, which is her natural essence.

I also found that because my husband is so jealous and controlling of me…

Because he’s weak, he’s scared and he doesn’t understand how attraction works. At the end of the day, he’s staying in a relationship with a woman who’s fucking another guy. How emasculating is that?

…I often played my looks down and dressed more like a man so he would feel less jealous and threatened and make fewer passive aggressive comments about how much “work” I put into my appearance.

Yeah, because she wasn’t attracted to him. He could tell she was attracted to other men, especially in this case, she got a boyfriend. I don’t know if he knows about her boyfriend or not. I don’t think she mentioned that.

He often shamed me for buying an occasional new garment or new piece of makeup, and when he says something positive about my looks, it always feels like a slight because he can’t help but mention all the “work” I put into myself (which, by women standards, is minimal). I looked like a little boy for the majority of our 17 years together, but I wasn’t like that when we met.

Interesting. So he forced her to be a man. So she acted, dressed and looked more like a man. When you see couples and the guys being led by the woman, and she’s butched all her hair, she’s wearing no makeup, she’s overweight and her and her husband are kind of androgynous, the way they’re dressed and they wear the same clothes, there’s no sexual player. That’s a dude that’s made the woman the man in the relationship.

In the culture, when you look at movies and the TV programs that are on all the time, that’s what you see. That’s the archetype. So we’re constantly brainwashing the kids, and then they grow up to become adults, and they play out exactly what they see on TV and in the movies.

I do (did) all the heavy lifting in the family and in our relationship, so I ended up looking and behaving more like a dude. I do wish this had been mentioned earlier in the book and more time had been devoted to this subject, however, because I was annoyed by the gender stereotypes until the author demonstrated an understanding of how we tend to compensate for our partners, not just in our behavior, but often in the way we dress and present ourselves to the world.

So she was triggered much of the book, but because she kept reading, she got the answer she was looking for.

I do like that the author supplements the book with numerous videos and articles, which do add further clarification and nuance. If a man just skims the book without watching the videos or reading the articles, he might get things wrong.

Yep, so I say read it 10 to 15 times and you got to apply. You can’t just read it 10 to 15 times and then two years later, start applying it with one girl you like and you meet because it’ll be a train wreck, because by then, you will have forgotten most of it.

The idea is to read it, apply it, go back and read it again, while you’re applying it. Over the course of several months or a year or two, then it becomes part of you. It really depends on how much time you put into it. Guys that are super serious will read the book 10 to 15 times in a matter of weeks and be playing it constantly, and then be going back and referencing the book once or twice a year until they really feel like they got it. Even then, after they’ve been together five or six years, they’ll still go back at least once or twice a year and reread the book.

Again, the societal conditioning is always going on 24/7 around us. Whatever you observe, you participate in. So just because you learn the book, you’re still consuming propaganda that teaches you dysfunctional ways to show up in life.

Men are surrounded by messed up messaging in movies, music, video games, media, books, etc., so they could easily forget what they read or layer their own weird issues on top of what they read, resulting in a total misinterpretation.

Overall, I think it’s a good book for men. I wish there were more books like this because men really need help. Some of the language is kind of off-putting, especially about opening a woman’s heart so she will spread her legs, or rewarding your date with the “flesh rocket.” I suppose it’s written that way because ultimately, for men, it’s really all about bedding a woman. As a woman, I found that condescending and kind of gross, but I guess the author felt it necessary to remind the readers that they won’t get laid if they don’t get it together, which is true, albeit crass.

Jessica

Isn’t that an interesting, very detailed book review? That goes through a lot of nuance?

So here’s a woman in a relationship with her husband. She’s got a side piece. She’s sleeping with some guy who actually acts masculine, but her very effeminate and girly husband who’s not leading at all is her roommate and pays most of the bills. Can you imagine being that guy? Hey, it’d be interesting if that guy happened to show back up. Or maybe, who knows, maybe he’s watching watching this video now and he can give us an update.

Isn’t that interesting? Everything that I talk about in the book here, you got a woman who’s a liberal, leans left, is in all the gender stuff, and she’s like, “Corey gets it.” I just teach the truth, even though I don’t look like the type of guy that would know this stuff, I understand it. It is what it is.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.