Why the overwhelming majority of people you will encounter in life have a herd mentality, don’t think for themselves and tend to only do and say things in order to conform and be accepted by society. How following the herd will severely limit your potential, and why you need to march to the beat of your own drum in order to create the life and lifestyle of your dreams.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who is frustrated with friends and people in his peer group who tend to behave one way with him when they are alone together, and totally differently when they are around other people. He notices that people in general seem to be so focused on and fixated with fitting in, that they are losing who they really are in the process.
He has a low tolerance for this phony behavior, but is concerned with deleting people from his life who may be important to him. He’s asks my opinion on how he should approach determining who’s really worth his time and who should be kept at a distance. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
I really love your online videos and I believe you have a firm grasp on how to be the modern alpha male, a crucial goal of mine. Because I’m very intelligent and a little introverted, I tend to be a little more picky with non-family friendships and with women than the average person, which I know is common for similar people. So here’s a question on relationships, and how to tell if people TRULY respect me and are worth my time…
I have a low tolerance for people acting differently around me when they’re around others, and/or in groups, than they do when they’re alone with me. (You want to be around successful, supportive people.) For example, when they hear a stupid rumor about me, they assume it’s true without asking me, and they try to tease me about it in front of others to kiss ass, I’m assuming. (These people are not your true friends. They will hold you back and drag you down. The right peer group for you is going to be like-minded, positive people.) I have confronted people about this crap, sometimes very angrily. (What is behind anger? Fear.) Sometimes I feel like I’m being too harsh and should just laugh it off, because it really is no big deal in the overall scheme of things. (These phony people are not going to help you get to where you want to be in life.) I also don’t want to unnecessarily hurt myself by permanently pushing important people or people close to me away. (As Tony Robbins teaches, love your family, but choose your peers, especially if you’re a person who’s taking a lot of risk and trying to stretch beyond your comfort zone.) So how should I handle this “fake, trying to fit in with everyone” BS, and when should I be confident that person is truly “coming after me” and move on to only people who value me? (Focus on what you want to create. What are the kindS of people you want in your life?)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“You are completely unique and one of a kind. There is no one else who is exactly like you. You were created to stand out and demonstrate your unique combination of gifts, skills and talents, but not to conform to what other people or society says that you should be. Being who you really are is one of the most freeing, but most difficult things you will ever do in your life. Why? Most people are sleepwalking through life, have a herd mentality and are trying to conform to societal or peer group conventions in order to gain acceptance. People who are awake and aware have no interest in groupthink or conforming, but only in being themselves and being around other like-minded people who are leaders and trendsetters.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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