My Ex Blocked Me During The Re Attraction Process. What Now?

What it means if your ex blocks you during the re-attraction process.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who broke up with his girlfriend in January of this year due to her getting too touchy feely with one of his friends. This happened on multiple occasions until he dumped her when he was really drunk. The next day he apologized, but she was over it and wouldn’t take him back.

Eventually she came back and they have been seeing each other, but now she’s blocked him on all social media and that is the only way they communicated. He wonders if he should move on. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well let’s take a look at this email. This particular guy, he broke up with his girlfriend in January of this year. We’re like in the middle to end of July. The reason he broke up with her was that she was getting too touchy-feely with one of his friends, and apparently this happened on multiple occasions. I guess after the last time it happened, he’d been tipping back a little too many cocktails, got really drunk and then broke up with her. The next day he realizes what he’s done and he’s like, “I’m sorry, please take me back,” and she says, “No.” Eventually he went no contact and eventually she came back and they started seeing each other. I guess apparently she had deleted his number because she keeps talking about leaving and moving on.

It’s pretty clear that, from the email, she doesn’t have any integrity anyways. So he’s kind of in love with the fantasy of who he wants her to be, but he’s kind of ignoring the fact that she’s got no integrity. If your girlfriend is hitting on your guy friends when she has a little bit too much to drink, or she just does it when you’re not around, again, this is why you let her think you trust her implicitly so you can find these things out and your friends, your family, or people that you know can let you know what’s going on when you’re not around, because you got to evaluate her character. The best way to evaluate her character is to let her think you trust her implicitly. So she gets really sloppy and thinks you’re a dum-dum, and then you can catch her in her lies, you can catch her in her dishonesty, because in relationships, you got to set and enforce healthy boundaries.

There’s two kinds of women. There’s women for fun and fucking, and then there are women for family. No guy wants to wife up a girl or get into a serious relationship with a girl or make a girl his baby mama when she’s got her hands all over other guys and trying to turn them on so they try to seduce her or actually seduce her. That’s low character. Character is destiny. You need to find this information out. That’s why it’s just best not to say anything so you can see how she operates, because she’s going to slip up at some point, and then you’re going to find out what you’re dealing with. Then you can disengage with a clear conscience and a clear mind and say, “Hey, I gave her the benefit of the doubt, but she did me dirty.”

Viewer Email:

Dear Corey,

First, thank you so much for your work. It has greatly improved my dating life and general well being. I’m emailing you today because I was recently blindsided by my ex blocking me in the middle of re-attraction. 

I broke up with her in January after a year of dating. She did something disrespectful (Very overly friendly and touchy with one of my friends) that I had told her not to do before.

Well, if you’d already told her not to do it and she kept doing it, character is destiny. What is the old saying? “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” So you trusted her and she said she wasn’t going to do it again. Then she violated your boundaries. That’s it, you don’t get any more chances after that. If you’re thinking about being in a relationship with a woman that is touchy-feely with other men, especially your friends, and she’s so fucking stupid to think that you’re going to let that slide? No, that’s a deal breaker. There’s girls for fun and fucking, which is what this one is, and there’s girls for family. The girls are for fun and fucking you got to wear a condom and make sure you flush it.

She is a friendly person, but I’m not OK with my girlfriend doing that, as I had told her.

Again, she doesn’t respect you or your boundaries, so that’s a deal breaker. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. She’s just a hook up girl. That’s it.

I was very drunk in the moment and we were already having a bad week so I broke up with her in an ugly way. Name calling and borderline yelling was part of it, I’m ashamed to say. After reflecting on it for a day, I reached out to her to apologize…

You shouldn’t be reaching out to her to apologize when she was cheating on you. That’s ridiculous. That makes you look like a pathetic, weak beta male. All it does is invite her to disrespect you even more and walk all over you even more. Women cannot love a man they don’t respect. When she dicks you down like that and then you apologize for her cheating on you, she’s going to lose all respect.

…And talk about things, but she was pretty upset about what happened so she refused.

That should have been the end of it. You should have never done that.

I went no contact then she reached out a couple weeks later. 

Since then we’ve been seeing each other on and off. Each time it’ll stop with her saying she can’t do it anymore because she can’t get over how I treated her when breaking up.

Well, I don’t know what you said when you were breaking up. Obviously you were pretty nasty, but she cheated on you. She’s not loyal. She acted like a hoe. So whether you were nasty and called her names, it doesn’t matter. What she did to you was unforgivable. You can’t fix that. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. She’s just not loyal. You cannot turn a hoe into a housewife. It doesn’t work.

Her friends are also obviously against me.

Well actually, that’s pretty good because that will help her not come back.

Each time she says she can’t see me I say, “I’m sorry to hear it and if you change your mind, let me know.” For the past five months she has always reached out within 1-3 weeks. I’ve only reached out first once in this time frame to follow up on something. All other times were started by her, including telling me she can’t see me. 

I’ve been fluctuating on if I actually want to get back with her, but am at least open to seeing her and see how things go.

Why?

Unless you’re just strictly fuck buddies, friends with benefits, sex playmates, that’s it. You’re going to definitely wear a condom and you’re going to make sure you flush it. I wouldn’t be finishing inside of her. I don’t know what country you’re in, but you don’t want to be like some of these NBA players that get paternity suits from a one night stand, because there are women that will do that because they’re like, “Hey, he’s got money. I live in a blue state and this happened in a blue state, so we’ll just sue him and get millions.”

She still has a strong emotional bond to me (As seen by her always coming back) but feels guilty each time she does due to her friends influence and her own internal conflict with it. 

Again, this should be irrelevant because she’s a liar and a cheater. As soon as a woman that you’re dating and in a relationship with starts touching your friends, guys that you know, male co-workers or your next door neighbor in a sexual way or in a flirty way, she’s basically saying, “Hey, try to seduce me. I’ll probably sleep with you.” That’s a deal breaker. A lady does not do that. A woman that was raised by a good man, a man with honor and integrity, is not going to tolerate that kind of fuckery from any of his daughters or his sons. He just would not allow it. They will love and respect their dad, they’ll respect his authority and they would never do something that would disappoint their father like that. Girls who behave this way, that’s just because dad fucked up. He didn’t do a good job if he was even in the picture.

Just recently, things were as best as they’ve been and we saw each other three times in a row without her pulling away for the first time since the breakup. However, I learned she’s been seeing other guys in the meantime from notifications on her phone and a little snooping on my part when she was away.

See, this is why you got to let her think you trust her implicitly so you’ll see shit like this popping up. Again, this just reiterates that character is destiny. This is not surprising. She’s already shown you who they are. You should believe her. That’s what Maya Angelou said. “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Luckily, I saw this right before leaving so it didn’t affect how I acted with her, but definitely has hurt my mental health since. Even though things were going well, she kept mentioning how she feels like she needs to move on but can’t and would say things like, “Can you get a new girlfriend so I can finally leave you alone?” 

I mean, she’s telling you to go on down the road. It’s just not going to work with her, bro. You can’t make good wine from bad grapes. My voice is getting all crackly. This is like the fourth video that I filmed now, so I’m a talker for a couple hours straight, so bear with me. It’s almost over.

Now what has blindsided me is the day after we hung out she blocked me on social media (Where we’ve been communicating because she got rid of my number).

Sounds like she’s doing you a favor. She doesn’t have your number. Whatever. I wouldn’t be calling her.

She hasn’t done this since we first broke up. Now I’m wondering how to proceed from here.

You’re a free man, dude. Rock out with your cock out. Go find a girl with some integrity. You can’t fix this. This is not salvageable.

Should I just give up hope and completely move on?

Yep!

It’s becoming a headache how often she comes and goes. Her coming and going is affecting my motivation…

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is. Jenny, why don’t you love me?”

Remember how Jenny dicked over Forrest Gump? Because I think what ended up happening, they don’t really say it. It’s like a three letter word took your life or something like that. She slept with half the country and then has a child with him and I think dies of AIDS or something like that, because she belonged to the streets, and your ex-girlfriend, she belongs to the streets, my man. You cannot work with this. She belongs the streets!

We have mugs that say She Belongs To The Streets to remind yourself that maybe you should get one. Go to Teespring.com, the CoreyWayneShop.com. You can find it there.

…With getting other girls and also is usually at the back of my mind when I’m with them.

How can I stop fretting over it so much? Your advice is greatly appreciated. 

Thank you,

Bob

Well, what will make you completely forget about this girl is meeting a girl that knocks your socks off. So you have to do whatever it is that you need to do to get as much face time with as many beautiful single ladies as possible, because eventually one of them you’re going to really click with. So you should be applying what’s in the book. I have to say good job on your vetting process and being like James Bond, because this girl obviously thought she had you hoodwinked and faked out, because you let her think that you trust her. So you saw plenty of notifications popping up on the phone, you saw her behavior, she doesn’t respect your boundaries. On top of that, she’s still dating other guys, so she ain’t going to be loyal to anybody. It’s not your fault. This is what her parents did to her. This is what her parents taught her. So you just need to disengage and move on.

If it was me, even if she does reach out in the future, I wouldn’t hang out with her anymore. If you’re crazy enough and the sex is so great that you want to hit it again, definitely wear a condom and make sure you flush them. Again, just because you wear a condom, doesn’t mean you’re not going to slip one past the goalie. Especially if you’re a high income, high net worth dude, there’s a lot of downside risk for that, my man. I would not waste my time with a girl like this, but hey, you do you boo boo. This is your life. If you’re family-oriented and you want a family oriented girl, this is not her. This is just a girl for fun and fucking. That’s it. That’s reality.

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