How to tactfully handle misconceptions your woman may have about you in a playful and fun way if they come up.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been dating a woman he met online and it’s going well. However, in order to get more matches with online dating he set his age to 10 years younger than he actually is but reveals his true age in his profile description. He plans to tell her but is unsure of how to bring it up and is worried about screwing up something that is going so well. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter. And the topic of today’s newsletter is going to be My Girl Thinks I’m 39 From My Dating Profile. I’m Actually 49. What Do I Do?
Well, this is a little conundrum. This particular guy, in order to game the dating website because he likes dating younger women and he wants to have kids, and you need obviously women that are young enough to have children, especially if you’re 49 years old, because pretty much all the women that are your age, the cupboards are bare, the baby factory is closed for business permanently. And so, it’s understandable because this guy looks really young for his age.
So, he put his dating profile at a 39 and then in the actual description was profile, it said something along the lines of what did he say, “disclosure” or let’s see, what did he actually say? “So, it’s like full disclosure” or something. I’ll get to that part in his email. But the bottom line is, in the description he says, “Hey, I’m actually 49.” And you can look at it and go, he’s gaming the system, he’s trying to cheat the system. But think about it from this perspective. Is it really fair that 80% of the women have their dating profile, that they only want to see profiles of guys that are six feet and above? Is that fair to every dude that’s six feet and below? Because the reality is that attraction is not a choice.
Women know within three seconds of whether they would date and sleep with you or not. And the bottom line is a guy who say he’s 5’9 and puts his profile down at 6’0, and meets a girl who finds him attractive, say they met in person, and they clicked. There’s chemistry there. And he’s two three inches shorter than what she’s got for her minimum requirements in her online dating profile. If she feels attraction for him, she’s not going to give a shit that he’s three inches shorter than the six-foot minimum.
And so, in the real world, if he met a woman in person who says, I only want guys that are tall, dark and handsome and yet he’s bald and he’s short; If she feels attraction, and she feels chemistry with him, and he acts masculine and acts like a man and he’s charming and playful, she’s not going to care about the height requirement. And so, you can look at it from that perspective and say, well, if they met in person, she would like him anyways.
And at the end of the day, she looked at his pictures, liked his pictures, but apparently, she didn’t bother reading through his profile. Imagine that. She looked at him. He passed her physical attraction test. She reached out and they’ve been dating, and things have been going well. But he’s like, now they’re a little further down the road and he’s like, “How do I handle this?” Because it’s going to come up at some point. Obviously. So, what do you do? How do you tactfully handle that?
Dear Coach Corey Wayne,
I found out about your work a year ago while licking my wounds from a quick ‘crash and burn’ relationship where I acted completely dopey & needy and chased a good girl right out of my life. I started listening to 3% Man voraciously that first month, Aug 2022, and dated a few girls with some success. Over the past year I have listened to the book 40 times. It took me that long to get it through my terribly brainwashed 49 year old head. I was so weak and dopey from years of bad training, bad advice, growing up with feminist sisters, weak brothers, and a mom that hated my dad. I was so weak, non-manly and Beta.
I have had some successes and still many failures over the past year, but I have now found a gal that seems to really like me. We met on the ‘Upward’ Christian dating app. She is 29, a hairdresser, tall, hot body, blonde hair, light eyes, UNVAXXED… all of the things I had been trying to MANIFEST after I wrote down exactly what I wanted in a girl a year ago…
Well, the reality is, like I was saying earlier, if you would have met in person. It wouldn’t have mattered. She’s not going to probably not going to be going, “How old are you?” Because you look younger for your age. But because it’s an online dating app and you’re trying to game the system and get more matches because you like younger women. And the reality is younger women like you anyways. And so, on a dating app, you’re cheating the system a little bit because women have things set to unfairly discriminate against you, if you will.
Because, I mean, we all know people that are 50 years old and they look 39 or 35. We also know people that are 50 and look like they’re 65 or 70. It all depends upon your genes, obviously, but it really depends on your diet and your exercise habits and what you put in that big hole and your face and how much or how little you move. That’s going to determine how good you look. And at the end of the day, all of us are naturally biologically attracted to people that are fit and in shape and look healthy.
It’s the same thing in nature when you look at like, say, a peacock and you’ve got one peacock whose colors are bright and they’re rich and all the feathers are perfectly formed. And then you’ve got another one where the feathers are kind of dull. They’re kind of torn up, and matted, their colors are just kind of faded. Looks a little ratchet. Naturally the females are going to stay away from the ratchet looking peacock and more be more turned on by the peacock that looks beautiful and healthy.
We’re just naturally programmed to be attracted to that. And so, this guy, physically in person, looks healthy, looks attractive, looks young. The difference is he was gaming his dating profile to get more matches, which. Whatever. He did have it in his profile.
The first date, we went to lunch, I gave her a kiss afterwards. Second date, we went to dinner and gave her a longer kiss. She seemed to want more… The third date, we went to the beach then back to my place in Long Beach, where I made her dinner and then we had an insane Tapping session. Over the next week, we slept together 5 out of 7 nights. It was marvelous.
She is super horny and we explored each other’s bodies, doing everything in bed together. She had a groundbreaking orgasm while sitting on my face, and it was the first time my face ever got squirted on.
It doesn’t do anything for me to get squirted on like that. It’s, you know, “Swoosh.” When your girl comes, when she comes like a waterfall. Hey. Whatever. Different strokes for different folks. And then you feel it running down your butt cheeks and in between your crack. Oh, Coach, that’s gross.
The only snafu I have is that she thinks I’m 39 from the profile, but I’m actually 49. (I tell people I have a condition that makes me look much younger than my actual age.)
What to do? Don’t want to ruin a good thing. I plan to tell her that she missed the fine print on my profile, which said: Disclaimer: 49 not 39. I even took a screenshot, if she ever wants proof. I know what you will probably say: DUDE, be confident in who you are, and your age and you will find a girl that accepts that. I know that – it’s true! But, the only reason I do this is because I want a younger woman that still wants to marry and have LOTS OF KIDS with me, lol.
Hey, if you had it in your profile and she didn’t bother reading it, well, that’s on her. I mean, at the end of the day, you passed her physical attraction test and she’s been fucking your brains out and squirting all over your face, and you’ve been loving every delicious, juicy second of that.
For now, I am listening to your good info on the daily, sometimes the YouTube videos and sometimes the AudioBook. I have been reprogrammed now, and am always reminding myself and remembering to not chase, let her come to me, show you care but also love from a distance, give her lots of space to miss me, etc. Cool but not needy.
Thank you again for helping this middle aged guy change his life for the better! GOD BLESS!
Well, if I was you, if it was me, I wouldn’t bring it up at all. So, because you should assume, hey, full disclosure, it was in your profile, and you also want to smile and be playful. And so, if you’re hanging out and the age thing comes up, and she’s like, “You’re 39, right?” I was like, “No, I’m 49.” She’s like, “Well, your profile said 39.” And she’s like, “Well, on the outside. Yeah. But if you actually read the profile, which I assume you did, and you weren’t just looking at me like a piece of meat, it says, disclaimer that I’m actually 49. We’ve never talked about it for I assumed you had read that and didn’t bother you one bit.”
It’s like, “What’s the problem? Obviously, you saw me, and you wanted my sexy body and age didn’t matter. So, if we met in person, it would have never been an issue. So. I’m sorry you didn’t notice that. But it’s like, why didn’t you read my beautiful dating profile? The whole thing. I thought you were with me for my intellect and not my body.”
It’s like, “What’s up with that? Am I just a piece of meat to you? Am I just your sex toy? Am I just your boy toy? What’s up? What’s up with that? That’s kind of shallow, don’t you think? To only be interested in my physical looks.” But it’s like I would look at it as a big deal. And if you say it with a smile on your face and you think it’s kind of funny, it’s like, “Hey, it’s not my fault that you didn’t read my dating profile.” And you’re like, “Well, I said it to that because I want to get more matches. I like younger women. I still want to have a family.” And it’s like, “I’m not going to do that with older women. I like younger women anyways, and obviously they like me. You like me?” It’s not a big deal.
It’s only going to be a big deal to her if you let her back you in a corner and you start justifying. It’s like if you have fun with it and you’re playful and you turn around and you’re like, “You didn’t read my whole profile.” It’s like, “Why not? In other words, you were just looking at my looks. That was it. You just wanted a hot man.” It’s like, “Well, it’s not my fault you didn’t read all the way.” Like, she gets on and I have to think about this. It’s like, “Okay, well, I’ll miss you until I see you. Come back soon, babe. Let her be. Let her stew about. I’m still really mad. It’s like, what does it matter? I look damn good for my age, and if we had kids together, we’d have beautiful children. What’s the issue?” So, if it’s not a big deal to you, it won’t be a big deal to her.
And women tend to try to intimidate you or get upset, but it’s like you’ve got to be calm, cool, collected. You don’t want to get butt-hurt. You don’t want to get perturbed. You just look at it as like, “Hey, I just want to get more matches. It’s not a big deal and it’s in my profile. I don’t see what the problem is. You didn’t read at the bottom. It’s like, that’s on you, babe. I still love you. You’re still cute. You’re really cute when you’re naked and squirting all over me.”
It’s not a big deal. If it’s not a big deal to you. It won’t be a big deal to her. Just think about it that way. So, you shouldn’t look at it as something that you’ve got to explain or get off your chest or any kind of nonsense like that. So, if I was you, I wouldn’t bring it up until she does. Or you have it in discussion again. But be prepared for it. And again, you want to handle it in the same way, the same tone, the same playful manner that I’ve been discussing here. Pretty simple.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur