My Girlfriend Got Sloppy Drunk With Her Boss & He Threatened Me!

What you should do if your girl gets sloppy drunk with her boss and coworkers.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a 34-year-old viewer who has been following me for two years. His 26-year-old girlfriend got so sloppy drunk and called him, but he couldn’t understand her so he asked her to give the phone to her boss. He seemed to also be drunk and called him controlling, psychotic and sick in the head even though they’ve never met. He then hung up. An hour later she shows up at his house, but he takes her home.

She is scared of getting dumped and he says he needs a few days to collect his thoughts. He’s had other girlfriends cheat on him in the past. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Well, that’s not good…

This particular email is from a guy. He’s 34 years old. He’s been following me for about two years, and his 26-year-old girlfriend got so sloppy drunk, called him, and she was so messed up she couldn’t even string two words together.

She was out with her coworkers and her boss, apparently. So he says, “Well, put your boss on the phone so I can talk to him,” and he’s like, “Hey, what’s going on?” And the boss is obviously inebriated as well. He starts calling him controlling, psychotic and sick in the head and says, “I’m gonna beat you up,” and he’s never met the guy before, so he just hangs up. Hours later, his girlfriend shows up totally drunk, and he’s obviously pissed at this point. He takes her home and she’s scared he’s going to dump her and break up with her. He’s like, “I need a few days to collect my thoughts.” This is triggering to him because he’s had other girlfriends cheat in the past.

If you’re in a relationship and you’re with a good family-oriented girl and she’s got her shit together, she’s not going to be going out and partying with everybody from work and getting so sloppy blackout drunk that she’s hanging out with a guy, her boss who’s got marriage trouble, who’s probably trying to bang her, or some of the other girls he works with. A lady doesn’t do those things. This guy has been dating this particular girl for like, six months, and that’s not the kind of behavior you want to see from somebody, especially if you’re in an exclusive monogamous relationship. Number one, it’s irresponsible. Number two, it shows that she’s got poor judgment and the fact that she’s hanging out with her boss, I don’t know if there was, there may have been other people there because it seems like they all went out, and then it was just her and the boss, and he’s probably just buying her one shot after another and she’s just sucking them down. Again, that’s not what you want to see.

If you’re vetting for marriage or family and you’re in a relationship for six months, if your girl is head over heels in love with you, she’s not going to want to hang out and get shit faced from people from work. She’s going to want to come home and snuggle with her man. So if that’s going on and it seems like this has happened before, that would tell me that they’re really not that close. There’s a lack of intimacy between the two of them and closeness.

Viewer Email:

Hello Corey,

I live in London (34-year-old male). I’ve been following you for two years, which has improved my life massively, so thanks for all your work!

I’ve been dating my (26-year-old female) girlfriend for six months and everything has been going great until the past week. 

I was sleeping the other night and I get a phone call from my girlfriend who was out on work drinks. She called me drunk a few times before and its normally to say how much she wants to see me. When I answered this time she was so intoxicated she couldn’t string two words together and wasn’t making sense. I tried to find out what was going on, where she was, and if she was still with work colleagues but she didn’t know and was alone.

That’s so irresponsible.

Through this exchange she kept hanging up, calling back, not saying anything or not answering when I called. I was therefore really worried about what was going on. I tried calling a colleague I had met before but as it was late there was no answer.

So it sounds like he’s maybe dialing, calling, she’s ignoring him, probably telling, which you’ll see here in a minute, saying, “Oh, my boyfriend’s calling,” you know, just totally shitfaced out of her mind.

I left at 40 minutes, but at this point had a lot of anxiety about the situation.

So he spends 40 minutes trying to have a conversation and figure out what’s going on, calling her back and forth, which that’s not good on his part either.

I called again and got an answer but she was still completely intoxicated.

So in other words, he waited 40 minutes and then called her back, thinking, “OK, maybe she’s sobered up a little bit,” but she’s still hammered.

She was with her boss (Failing marriage – mid 40s, FYI) this time so asked if I could speak with him to figure out what was happening. I said hello and asked where they were, to which he started ranting at me calling me psychotic, sick in the head, and that I’d was accusing him of something. It was nuts and I was completely stunned. I had never spoken to him before in my life. He then said he would beat me up, so I ended the call.

Yeah, that just sounds swell.

If that was a big company and that shit happens, you could go to Human Resources and that dude would get fired. A guy who’s in a management position is out getting one of his employees, his underlings, drunk. Then he tells her boyfriend, who’s trying to figure out what’s going on, that he’s a psycho and he’s going to kick his ass? Yeah…

An hour and a half later she arrives at mine, I don’t let her stay (Live with housemate), so I take her home and she keeps crying thinking I’m going to dump her but I assure her I’m not but mention we need to talk.

When you say, “We need to talk,” to a woman, they think it’s going to be a breakup, because that’s what women say to guys. “Hey, we need to talk.” It’s never good what comes after that. So don’t ever say that to a woman unless obviously, you’re going to dump her, because that’s right away what she’s going to assume.

She calls me at 7:00 in the morning still worried but I say we should talk later as it’s not the best time. She then messages again apologizing and hates there being anything bad between us and that she loves me. We arrange to discuss in a couple of days as I said I needed to gather my thoughts and she had a friend’s birthday. 

I’m unsure on how to approach this, not happy about the situation she put herself in, not happy about her boss’s response and intentions, and to be honest I’m not keen on her socializing with him past a professional sense, but I’m worried it’ll be interpreted as controlling. FYI, don’t think she would cheat with him but it does trigger me as previous girlfriend cheated on me and dumped me for her boss. 

Keen to get your thoughts on the situation above.

Kind Regards,

Bob

It’s like, yeah!

So, this is how life tends to fuck with you. This is how the universe works. It has now brought you a second situation that is similar to the first. You’re looking for a woman who shares your goals and values, who’s easygoing, who’s easy to get along with, who’s not going to put herself in a situation where she’s absolutely shit-faced drunk with her boss. Especially when you’ve probably been through this before. A woman who’s family-oriented and is committed to you is not going to go out and get shit-faced with her boss and then call you, and then hand the phone to the boss and then have him rip into you like that. That doesn’t look good.

That’s a difficult situation, because as a man, you shouldn’t have to tell her these things. This should be something that her dad already taught her about. “Oh, honey, you don’t go out with your boss, get drunk and then call your boyfriend when you’re really shit-faced with your boss, whose marriage is on the rocks, and you’re dating a guy who had a previous girlfriend cheat on him and leave him for the boss.” I mean, it’s pretty clear that I would assume if the boss is talking to you that way, he doesn’t respect you. If he doesn’t respect you, it has to be because of something she said. So maybe he was watching you constantly calling back and barraging her with phone calls and he was drunk, but the only reason why he’s talking shit about you is because he’s trying to belittle you or to puff himself up because he’s trying to slide in there. That’s pretty obvious. That’s what any normal thinking man would assume.

The other question is, why would your girlfriend put herself into a position where the boss, who’s probably trying to fuck your girlfriend, is talking shit about you and to you and threatening to beat you up? That’s just not a good situation, and that does not bode well for the character of your girlfriend. Plus, this is not the first time she’s called drunk, so she has a habit of going out, getting sloppy drunk, calling him and then usually to come over and stuff. This just shows poor judgment. So obviously you’re going to have to have a talk with her, but it doesn’t look good. From a vetting perspective, it definitely does not look good. The fact that she put herself in this position, and she has a history of getting really drunk and calling you when she’s drunk? That’s not something that I want to deal with.

I want a woman that I’m going to be in a relationship with her, she’s got to be able to handle her liquor. I can understand every once in a while, she’s got a little tipsy with her girlfriends, takes an Uber over to see you, that’s a different story, but where it’s a regular basis, where she’s constantly going out and getting shitty drunk, sloppy drunk like this, then maybe she’s got a drinking problem. It shows a lack of self control. So if it were me, I would be telling her, assuming that nothing happened, “That can’t ever happen again. You need to get your drinking under control. I’m not interested in being in a relationship with somebody that thinks it’s OK to go out and get sloppy drunk with their boss. I had that happen to me once and my girlfriend ended up cheating on me with the boss. So if you think it’s OK to go hang out with your boss and get drunk and then call your boyfriend and then have your boss threaten to beat me up? That’s a deal breaker for me. That can’t happen again.” I don’t know how you would rectify it because again, I don’t know all the details, but man, it sure doesn’t look good. I’m sure the guys in the comments will have a thing or two to say about that.

Again, she’s just got poor judgement. If her father did a good job, she wouldn’t have put herself in this position to begin with, but here we are. She did put herself in this particular position. It’s poor judgment, poor character and it doesn’t look good, and on some level, she’s also making herself available to him. She’s going out and choosing to get drunk with her boss, who clearly has designs on her for him to say and act that way. If he was a good guy and a good family-oriented man, he would have been like, “Hey yeah, she’s had too many drinks. Everybody was doing shots and she’s had too many. We’re going to send her home in an Uber. I’m gonna have one of the girls make sure she gets home. I just want to let you know we’re all looking out for her. She’s OK.” That’s what should have happened. Instead, the boss is clearly a snake. He’s clearly trying to get into her pants, and he’s probably one of the ones that was giving her the drinks and the shots in the first place, probably paying for everything. So for him to behave that way just shows he’s a low quality, low character person. Your girlfriend is hanging out with low character people. Unless she has some super good explanation, it doesn’t look good for her.

This is not somebody that I would trust. Love cannot exist where there is no trust, especially when you’ve already had a girl do this to you in the past. So here the universe has brought you yet another woman who is behaving the same way as your ex. So you need to let her know that this is not appropriate. You could give her another chance and say, “Look, this is the last time that’s going to happen next. If that ever happens again, if you call me sloppy drunk and you’re hanging out with your boss, you’re not going to be hanging out with him anymore. That’s totally inappropriate. On top of that, your boss needs to call me and apologize for what he said to me.” That’s the right way to handle it. If she can’t get her boss to call her and apologize, I’d say, “Well, then maybe you shouldn’t work there anymore. Maybe you should get another job.” It’s like, “How am I supposed to feel comfortable sending my girl the office when the boss is clearly trying to get into her pants and is trying to sandbag our relationship and puff himself up and is judging me and labeling me when I’m seriously worried maybe somebody slipped something in their drink? I don’t know what the hell is going on. All I know is I was sound asleep, I get a call from my girlfriend who can’t string any words together, and she’s hanging out with her boss, who’s in an unhappy marriage, and for him to talk to me that way? Nah, that’s not good. There better be a good explanation, and it better never, ever happen again. If it does, you got to dip.” It doesn’t look good for her. That’s what I would do if I were you. She better have a good explanation for things because it ain’t looking good.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.