My Girlfriend Is Thinking About Moving To Another City. Should I Follow Her?

Why a man should only move away with his girlfriend if he wants to live in her destination city.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who is new to my work. He’s been with his girlfriend for about 8 months. His career is going really well and he wants to stay in the city where they live. However, she is considering moving away to be closer to her family after her brother died. He says he’s open to moving if it doesn’t impact his career and asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “My Girlfriend Is Thinking About Moving To Another City. Should I Follow Her?”

Well, this particular email is from a viewer who is new to my work. And he’s been with his girlfriend for about eight months. He says his career is going really well. Lots of good things are happening for him, and he wants to stay in the city where they currently live. And initially when they started dating, that’s what she wanted too. However, recently her brother passed away and now she’s talking about moving to another state, moving back home to be closer to her family.

And he says he’s open to moving, but as long as it doesn’t impact his career in a negative way. So he asks, “What should I do?” So in a microcosm, a woman should submit to the man. She should follow his leadership. And the only reason that a man should move cities to be with a woman is, because to him, it’s an upgrade, and he really wants to live in the city where she wants to move to.

But if he has no desire to move to where she wants to, and it would be negative on his career, the worst thing he could do is to up and move and be a pleaser and act like he’s okay with it because he just wants to be with her. But at the end of the day, she can tell he’s not really standing up for himself and what he really wants. And I’ve seen many, many times over the years I’ve been doing this 20 years now where guys have put in for, like if they meet, because a lot of people meet at the companies where they work, they start dating.

Maybe they’re in different states or in some cases they’re in different countries. I’ve seen guys completely uproot their lives. They sell their houses, they sell their investment Of properties. They sell a lot of their furniture and they put in for a transfer, and they wait a year or 2 or 3 for the transfer to come along, and then they move to where the girl is. And it’s a city where they don’t really want to be, but they’re moving there because they want to be closer to her.

And then they get there, and within a few weeks she dumps him, and then he finds out she’s sleeping with some other dude in the office, in the same office. And so now he’s uprooted his whole life, sold his property, sold his investment properties, changed countries, and the woman’s like, “Yeah, yeah, I’m not feeling it. Yeah, I think we should just be friends.”

And he’s like, “I moved countries for you.” It’s like she didn’t care. And I’ve seen things like that happen, and when I’ve done phone sessions with guys in these situations, they’re like, “Well, did you really want to live in the area?” He’s like, “Oh no, it’s horrible. The weather is horrible. I loved where I live.” It’s like, “So why did you move?” “Well, it’s because it’s what she wanted.” And so they were a pleaser.

And they moved where they didn’t really want to move in order to please their girl, because they were afraid of losing her. So they do everything that she says she wants. They move countries, they move states, whatever happens to be, and they get there. And then shortly thereafter, she’s like, “Yeah, I’m just not feeling it. I just want to be friends.”

Or they break up. Or worse, as soon as they break up, they find out that she’s sleeping with another guy in the same office. And then he’s in a new state, a new country, doesn’t know anybody, doesn’t like the weather, didn’t really want to be there. He only moved there for her. And now he’s stuck. And then they want to move back. It’s just, it’s a mess. I mean, you can imagine if it took 2 or 3 years to get transferred and move there, and then you want to move back. That can take another 2 or 3 years.

So you literally lose 5 to 6 years of your life if you stay within the same company, if a bad situation like this happens. So the only way a man should move is if it’s an upgrade for him. He really wants to live there. There’s great opportunities for business or career, but other than that, if you’re not really feeling it, you don’t want to live there.

The worst thing you can do is move with your girl to please her. Because many times I’ve seen that happen, they move together and then shortly thereafter, “Oh. I’m just not feeling it.” And then she breaks up with him and then he’s in an area he doesn’t want to be at. So it’s just a bad way to go.

Viewer Email:

Hi Coach Corey,

I hope this message finds you well. Before getting into my question, I want to take a moment to thank you for the incredible content you provide, completely free of charge. While I haven’t had the chance to fully read How to Be A 3% Man yet, though it’s downloaded and ready on my phone.

Well, come on man, you got to participate in your own rescue. Because the other thing is, is that if a woman’s truly head over heels in love with you, she ain’t gonna move. She doesn’t want to risk the relationship. She doesn’t want to risk losing you. But when her interest is low, she’ll move to another state. In essence, to try to get away from you because she’s not feeling it. Women don’t dump men they’re in love with. And they don’t move away from men that they’re in love with. They just don’t. They want to be with their man.

They want to be with their king. And if you’ve been dating for a while and like especially, you see in this case, they both were gonna stay together in this city. And then she decides she doesn’t want to live there anymore. That would typically mean that her interest is dropping. Her attraction is dropping. And it’s kind of a way to break up and get space from the guy, because then she figures, oh, if she just moves to another city, she can say, “Well, I don’t want to do long distance. You know, let’s go our separate ways.”

The videos I’ve watched have already transformed my approach to relationships. I’m committed to immersing myself in your work and becoming part of that 3%. I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about eight months now, and it’s by far the best I’ve ever had. We moved in together in August.

So it’s like 4 or 5 months after dating, which is usually not a good idea.

And we maintain a great balance of time apart and time together. Our communication is solid, and she’s very accountable whenever I set boundaries or call out any small acts of disrespect. On top of that, we both get along well with each other’s families.

That’s always important. You don’t like each other’s families. That makes it really hard. Especially if you’re going to raise kids together. If you don’t like her parents, and she doesn’t like yours. That makes it hell on the kids and grandkids.

She’s an amazing woman, and the relationship feels easy and natural. At the beginning of our relationship, I told her that I see my future here in the city, especially since my ex has moved abroad. Initially, my girlfriend shared the same vision. However, her older brother recently passed away, and since then, her priorities have shifted towards being closer to her family.

Right now, I’m in the midst of a significant upward trajectory in my career. I’ve doubled my income over the past two years and currently manage one of the largest global brands in digital marketing. Opportunities are constantly coming my way, with companies like Google expressing interest in me. My career is something I’m fully committed to, not just for myself, but also to build a strong foundation for my future family.

I’m very focused on staying centered and continuing to progress, in line with the masculine energy and purpose-driven mindset you teach. So here’s my dilemma: I deeply empathize with my girlfriend’s situation and love her a lot, but I don’t want to derail my career path.

And you should not.

I’m open to exploring job opportunities closer to her family.

You should only be open to it if you really want to live in that city. The worst thing you can do is move there to please her. Because if she was really in love with you and when you first started dating, she wanted to be there. And now because her brothers passed away. “Oh, I want to be closer to family.” That tells me that her interest is dropping, and it’s just an excuse to kind of move away from you. Because women don’t leave men that they’re in love with.

If you’re the center of her world, she ain’t going nowhere. If her interest is low and she could take it or leave it, it can be an excuse to get away and then later break things off once she’s in the new city if you don’t follow. But if you do follow and you don’t really want to be there, and you’re miserable when you get there. You’re about 99% assured that she’s probably going to dump you once you move there. And now you’re in a city you don’t want to be in.

You don’t have any friends or family. It’s like you lose your whole social network of people that you probably spent years, or maybe your whole life developing. I’ve just seen this happen a lot. Guys move to please the girl and then as soon as they get there, they get dumped because the reality is she didn’t want to be with them in the first place.

But I also know that following her narrative entirely could lead me off course from the vision I’ve set for myself. As a man, I know I need to stay focused on my mission and my goals, but I also don’t want to lose her.

Well, she’s the one moving away. So if she’s willing to lose you to be closer to family when that wasn’t an issue when you first started dating, then that tells me her interests and her feelings have gone the wrong way since you guys moved in together. Because you just moved in together in August and now we’re in November.

So you’re talking a handful of months of living together, and now she’s like, “Oh, I want to move and be closer to family.” What that really means is she’s not feeling it. She’s not as into you as she was when she moved in. Because a woman in love, she’s not going to move anywhere. She’s going to stay with her man.

How would you advise navigating this situation without compromising my purpose, while also maintaining a healthy, strong relationship?

Again, the only reason you should move to that city is because you really want to live there. You’re really excited about it. You’re excited about the lifestyle. You’re excited about the social network opportunities there, the social activities that are there. The career opportunities are better than where you’re at. If it lights you up on the inside when you go and you visit that city and you’re like, “Man, I love this place. I live here in a heartbeat.” Then yeah, you should definitely consider moving there.

But if the only reason that you’re considering moving there is because you don’t want to lose her, then you’re about 99% assured if you do move there because you’re afraid of losing her, that as soon as you get there, she’ll dump you. I’ve seen it happen over and over and over, because if she wants to move cross-country and be closer to family, well, you gotta let her go. And I wouldn’t do long distance. Because if you’re thinking long term, she’s moving away. There’s really no future. If she’s going to move away, she’s not getting closer together with you.

She’s moving apart from you. She’s okay with no longer living with you and being with you every day. And so women vote with their feet. If they’re with you, it means they voted for you. If they all of a sudden, after a couple of months want to move away. I mean, it sounds plausible and understandable, but what does her brother passing away have to do with her wanting to live closer to her family. It sounds like an excuse.

Thanks again for all the guidance and wisdom you share. It’s truly helped me in my journey so far.

Warm regards,

Bob

So you got to say, “I love where we live. I want to stay here. If you’re going to leave, then I don’t really want to do long distance. Because again, what’s the point of doing long distance?” She was there in your city, now she’s going to move away. So you’re not going to see each other as much. Why would you want to do that? If that’s happening, then more than likely she wants to hold on to you while she starts to date and explore the romantic possibilities in the new city. So

I know you’ve been following for a bit, and you haven’t got around to reading The Book and you’re half-assing it. So I would venture to guess that there’s lots of things you’re doing and saying that are turning her off. And this is just the excuse to take some space and get away from you, because her interests and her respect for you is dropping. Again, when a woman is head over heels in love with you, she wants to be with you. She wants to move in with you.

She wants to nest. She wants to know when you’re getting married. She wants to know when you’re going to be able to have kids. She makes a home with you. If she wants to go live in another state, then that means that you’re not as important to her as you were a few months ago. So you need to pull your head out of your ass and read what’s in The Book and fill in your knowledge gap and figure out what’s going on and why her interest is dropping.

Trying to cherry pick shit and videos to fix this because you fear losing her. I promise you, if you keep half-assing that she’s going to move and you will lose her because whatever you’re doing and saying is not attractive. You’re not attractive enough consistently. As a matter of fact, when you moved in with her so soon after you guys started dating, probably felt a little overwhelmed. Maybe you were the one pushing for it, and now she’s looking for an excuse to bounce.

I’ve just seen it happen over and over and over and over and over again. I’ve done thousands and thousands of phone sessions over the last 20 years, and I see the same patterns over and over and over again. And from reading your email, it sounds like you’re pretty set on staying where you’re at and you don’t want to move. So if she’s still wanting to leave, it’s like, “I’m not going to follow you. I love you. We can do long distance for a little bit, but what’s the point?”

I mean, if you’re going to move away, you’re not getting closer together, you’re getting further apart. You went from casually dating to living together, and now she wants to live in another state. So women only do that when their interest is waning, when they’re losing interest and they’re losing respect for you. Again, women vote with their feet. She can always go visit her family. But why would she leave her king unless she doesn’t really care about her king very much?

So like I said, dude, you need to pull your head out of your ass and take your life and your romance seriously and fill in your knowledge gap. I mean, The Book is free to read in the Members Area of the Website, so you’ve got no excuses. I just see constantly guys that don’t listen to me when I tell them to do that, and then I end up on a phone session. “Yeah, I’ve been following you for two years.”

“Have you read The Book yet?” “Well, I just I ordered a copy. I haven’t got it here yet, but I got this immediate problem.” I’ve been telling you, you got to read The Book. You got to fill in your knowledge gap. These videos are meant to assist you in understanding how to apply the principles in The Book to your specific situation. But if you don’t even bother learning the playbook, you know, it’s like throwing darts in a blizzard and that’s on you.

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