My Girlfriend Kissed One Of My “Friends” When Drunk & I Dumped Her

Some harsh truths to accept if your girlfriend kisses one of your friends when drunk.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who just dumped his girlfriend of 3 1/2 years. He’s been following my work for about four years. He was busy working and she went out with some of his friends. However, one of his “friends” kissed her when she was drunk. He dumped her and kicked her out when he learned what happened. She recently came over and they hooked up, but he says he won’t get back together with her anytime soon.

She promises to stop drinking and go to church every week and it will never happen again. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

In this particular email, this guy was with his girlfriend for three and a half years. He’s been following my work for about four years. He said he was busy working for the Juneteenth holiday, and he’s like, “I can’t do anything. I got to work. I got commitments, but hey, why don’t you go hang out with my friends or whatever?” So he sends her with his group of friends that he introduced her to, and she had one too many cocktails and apparently started making out with one of his friends. Then this “friend” called him and said, “Hey, your girl kissed me. She leaned into me.”

So there’s some conflicting stories there. I guess he talked to several other people that were there and saw this, because now your whole peer group sees that your girl is basically cheating on you with one of your guy friends. Even though it’s just a kiss, that’s how cheating starts. The fact that your friend kissed her back, he ain’t no friend. It’s like the dude that I wrote about in 3% Man, one time my best friend, he was the best man in my wedding, I’m confiding in him about leaving my wife and how distraught I was over it and seeking his counsel, and here I am, telling him intimate things that are supposed to be between two close friends, because bros before hoes, right? Well, obviously not in that case.

So I remember when I finally told my wife that I didn’t want to be married to her, it was like the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. It was the worst I’ve ever felt. It was horrible. We’d only been married for a year and she didn’t have much of a reaction. I was like, “You don’t even seem surprised.” She’s like, “Well, so and so told me everything.” I was like, “That motherfucker.” So I don’t know, it’s probably six, eight months later, maybe it was a year later, I can’t remember, but we were having lunch one time, going over some stuff with her divorce, because we had a pretty amicable divorce. Then she proceeds to tell me that they were hanging out shortly after that, and this is after I had moved out. He had taken her to dinner or whatever, and they were hanging out, and he’s like, “So you want to fuck or what?” And she turned him down, but the fact that he fucking did this is like, “Dude, you were my best man in my wedding. I was confiding in you.”

So I looked at the whole situation. I was like, “He’s taking stuff that I thought, ‘He’s my best friend,’ and I’m sharing this about my wife because I needed his counsel. I’m torn up over it, and is he being there for me as a friend? No! That cock sucker is thinking, ‘How can I use this to bang Corey’s wife? Because he’s not going to be with her anymore.'” He didn’t come to me and say, “Hey, would you mind if your ex and I went out on a date or if I invited her out on a date?” None of that happened. It was just, “How can I use this to my advantage and fuck his ex wife to be?” That’s how he thought. I was extremely disappointed to find out. Then there was a series of events I wrote about in Mastering Yourself. This is the same guy that wrecked my Lotus the second day after I had it. It’s like when you have enough things like that happen, you go, “Yeah, my parents were right.” They told me when I was 18, 19, that, “He is not a good person, you shouldn’t hang out with him.” I was like, “Man, we have a lot of fun, we have so many friends in common, he’s funny as fuck, girls love him, there’s always girls around.” We have a good time, but he was a shitbird. He was just not a good person. Bros before hoes, it’s like, “Every man for himself” was his fucking attitude. Even all these years later, he’s still trying to get back into my good graces and it’s like, “Come on.”

When you go through difficult times, like this guy is here, I mean, three and a half years with his girl and one of his friends kisses her and he finds out? “Well, I guess that hoe ain’t loyal. I got to throw her ass back to the streets.” I don’t want to spoil the surprise, I’ll go through the email now.

If you have a family-oriented girl, she’s just not going to put herself in position to do this. I don’t know if there were other girls there or not or if it’s just a bunch of dudes, I wouldn’t be sending my girlfriend or my wife to hang out with just nothing but my guy friends that are all single or whatever. That would be kind of silly. That’d be like my girlfriend sending me to hang out with all of her hot single friends, which at least one or two of them are probably going to like me because that’s just the way women operate. Then you find out who’s really on your team and who’s not. What I found out is my best man was not on my team. He was all about himself.

Viewer Email:

Hey Coach,

Wanted to share my recent break up story with you.

I appreciate your work and started following you about four years ago when a girl I really liked ghosted me. Once I discovered you, I ordered the book immediately and read it about 10 times. After watching your videos, I find it so interesting that so many men had gone through a similar experience.

For some background, I never had issues with getting girls, I only had an issue with staying with the girls I really liked by becoming a beta male (Texting too often, being to soft).

Yeah, it’s a pretty common experience. That’s why guys read my book for the first time and like all these light bulbs are going off, because every guy has done pretty much everything in the book, and they get mixed explanations or explanations from women that that don’t make any sense, and they try to make heads or tails. When the dots get connected for you, it’s like the veil of haze gets lifted.

At the end of college when I was thriving in the woman department after reading and following your work. Eventually, I started dating this gorgeous girl who I meet by using your wizardry when I was 22 (I am 25 now, 26 in late July) years old…

It’s the cheat codes.

…And we have been dating for about 3.5 years. She wanted to date before then, but I told her no to long distance and I broke it off. Months later we rekindled, and she of course brought up exclusivity. She had the traits that I look for in a woman, great body, beautiful, cleans the house, and cooks. (I feel like a woman who cooks and cleans is hard to find now. Would you agree?)

Well, everybody’s got to learn. My mom, when she married my dad, she didn’t know how to cook, but she learned. A good woman will learn.

You know, these red pill guys, it’s like they have a vision of the world that didn’t really exist. I was around back then, a lot of these guys were not. Like I said, my mom didn’t know how to cook. She got a Betty Crocker cookbook, and she used that thing religiously, and quite frankly, my mom was a great fucking cook. She was amazing. Cakes, pies, pot roast. Just everything she made was good. Especially Thanksgiving, she made the best stuffing I’ve ever had in my life. We used to save the ends of the bread, like whenever we had a loaf of bread and got to the end, we would save like the two or three pieces on the ends, and we would put them in the freezer. Then when Thanksgiving would roll around and Christmas, we would cut those up, we’d defrost them, obviously, cut them up and that became part of the stuffing. Oh man, I could taste it now. It was so good.

I don’t have that recipe. It was one of the things that we lost as a family when my mother had passed away. I don’t know what happened to the cookbook or whatever, but it was a recipe that she came up with. The point being is that she didn’t know how to cook, but she learned and she taught herself. So a good woman, if she loves you, will learn to cook. Thinking that every traditional woman is going to be a church-going girl, they’ll only wear summer dresses, and she knows how to cook and clean and she’s perfect, well my mom was not. She learned. She got OJT, on the job training.

We moved in together last October, and I can’t tell you how many times she had asked me about marriage.

Remember, this is the vetting process. So for better part of two and a half, almost three years, they lived apart. In other words, she had her place, he had his. He let her move in because again, this is part of the vetting process. Can I trust her? Will she be loyal and faithful even when I’m not around? Will she exercise good judgment or will she do ratchet stuff?

Recently, while I was working on Juneteenth and she had off, she went and partied with some friends that I introduced her to. She was constantly calling/FaceTiming me through out the day to come to where she was at, and I replied that I couldn’t because of work.

Man’s focused on his mission and purpose as he should be. He’s handling his business.

The next day, I get a call from one of my “boys” telling me that they kissed and she was leaning onto him.

Yeah…

So at first you’re thinking, “Hey, your girlfriend tried kissing me.” Well, it sounds like they both kissed.

Although, she told me that it was the other way around. This left me in complete shock and embarrassment.

Yeah, can you imagine? All these close friends of yours that you’ve introduced her to, she gets a little too drunk and starts making out with one of your friends. Not good. Not good at all. Makes you look like a chump and like a jackass and a poor judge of character, because it’s true, other men are going to judge you by the company of the women that you keep or the women that you date. If you’re in a relationship with a girl and she has a couple of drinks after a three and a half year relationship and she’s living with you and she has no self control to the point where she makes out with one of your friends? Yeah, she belongs to the streets.

In a very nice way, I told her to pack her things and leave our apartment (I own the apartment). She did (Of course I helped her with all of her things), she was bawling and apologizing (“Saying she was drunk.” After doing further investigation, multiple people told me how fucked up she was. She is a light weight).

Doesn’t matter. She’s the one that got fucked up.

The next day she calls me how she can’t handle our break up, is randomly breaking down in tears throughout the days, and that she wanted to marry me. She told me because of what happened, she will stay sober, go back to school, go to Church every Sunday, and do whatever it takes to fix our relationship.

Well, there’s nothing to fix. She has a character flaw. She got drunk and cheated on him with his one of his friends and embarrassed him. It’s like if you take her back, then you’re just giving her permission to get away with that. So why wouldn’t she do it to you again? Anybody that’s in your peer group, if you take a girl back that does this, you look like a chump. Then they’re not going to respect you. Then some of them that you know are fringe friends will probably hit on her again. Give her a, “Hey, give her a couple of drinks because then the legs will open right up. The panty spreader shot.”

Since she keeps reaching out to me so I set up a date, she came over to make dinner together, but she started bawling saying how she wants to get back together. I played it cool, made her laugh, avoided the exclusiveness question with an unclear answer, we made dinner and fireworks were lit off multiple times that night if you know what I’m putting down.

You beat up her pelvis. I would imagine you gave her the meat missile, the flesh rocket, the one eyed bandit.

Although, now she is reaching out to me non-stop, double texting me, and I don’t want to ignore her, so I am just pretty much going with the flow. I have no intention of being exclusive with her any time soon…

I wouldn’t give her another chance, dude. A lot of guys in red pill can be like, “Yeah, who’s gonna hold women accountable?” This is how you hold women accountable. You don’t give them second chances when they cheat on you, especially when they do it publicly with one of your friends, like my friend who was trying to fuck my ex wife to be when I thought I was just confiding in somebody that should have been the most trusted confidant I had, but I didn’t listen to my parents. “What do they know, right?” “Oh, you don’t know him like I do.” They knew people better than I did. I was young and inexperienced.

…But I have not communicated that. What are your thoughts on that?

Also, I am at a point where it is hard to blame her for what happened…

Dude, it’s her fault. She put herself in that position. She drank too much.

..And not the “friend” (Will punch him in the mouth when I see him) for engaging with her.

Your friend did that on purpose. That’s what happened. It wasn’t an accident. He saw an opportunity and he did it. Maybe when he sobered up, he was like, “Oh shit, I shouldn’t have done that. Shouldn’t have fucked with Bob’s girl,” but he did. He embarrassed himself, he embarrassed her. She embarrassed herself, she embarrassed you. There’s really no coming back from that, because if you take her back, then she got away with it. If you never take her back, then she’s going to have the pain of regret, and maybe the next guy she’ll be loyal and faithful to and never do that again because of the fact that she lost you.

Who’s going to hold her accountable is you, because if you take her back, then any time she’s hanging out with somebody or she’s staying late at work or going to happy hour, it’s like, “Oh, I’m going to go to church every week.” It’s like, you have low character. Going to church ain’t going to fix that. The fact that you don’t keep your word and you’re not loyal? I mean, she was living with this guy, and it’s his apartment. He probably wasn’t even charging her rent. For his loyalty, his love and his apartment, she makes out with one of his friends, who clearly was hitting on her and trying to make out with her? The only reason he’s sorry is because everybody saw it and it looks bad. It shouldn’t have happened.

So I’d be deep-sixing your friend as well. I wouldn’t hang out with that guy anymore. He needs to go. You need to tell him, “Don’t ever fucking call me again.” You know, this best friend of mine, we kept giving him chances, and he ended up going to work for my one of my business partners. He worked for him for about a year and he kept trying to muscle his way into our business partnership. He felt like he should be the fourth partner, and we should just give him 25% of our companies because he was friends with us, and when he didn’t get his way, he left and talked shit about all of us. Then some of the other guys called him to hang out, and he just blew everybody off. We didn’t hear from him for years until I ran into him almost probably 10 years later. It’s like I hear from every six, eight years, it’s like, “Nah, that dude ain’t going to change.”

People don’t change who they are. They may become a better version of who they are, but they typically don’t change. They become better at hiding it. So your friend that kissed your girl, if you keep him in your peer group, he got away with it. If you boot him out of your peer group and everybody kind of turns their backs on him, he’s going to recognize that bros before hoes, that there’s a bro code. There’s a man code. You don’t do that stuff with your close friends. Especially when you send your girlfriend amongst your friends who are supposed to protect her and look out for her, not try to fuck her. It’s like, what kind of shit is that?

I am just curious on your over all thoughts on this whole situation.

Also, thank you for being a role model in my life, you have helped me tremendously not only regarding relationships, but also helped me shape my purpose and played a role in who I am today.

Bob

Well, congratulations on all your success. I’m sorry to hear that your girl turned out to be a disloyal hoe basically, and that your friend turned out to be a dirt-bag. This is how you vet people. You got to make sure when somebody shows you who they are, they hit on your girl or your girl hits on them or kisses them or hooks up with them, that’s it. You got to have people in your inner circle that are loyal to you and wouldn’t do shit like this, that literally are bros before hoes. They just wouldn’t do something like that. It’s nice that he called you, but at the end of the day he was obviously drinking too, and he created the conditions where he was flirting with her to where he was trying to go somewhere with it. He was trying to get in her pants. That’s the only reason that happened.

A guy who had integrity would be like, Whoa! Hey, what are you doing?” He would have pushed her away, but he didn’t do that. He kissed her back. So it doesn’t matter. The alcohol was involved. What’s done is done. He should have thought about that before he got drunk and tried to bang your girl. She should have thought about that before she got drunk and tried to hook up with one of your friends. So I throw both of them to the street. I mean, he already thrown her to the street. She’s a fuck buddy, friends with benefits, sex playmate, the town bicycle now, if you will. I would never, ever get back together with her again. Make sure you wear a raincoat so you don’t slip one past the goalie, because girls in these situations will sometimes get pregnant on purpose to try to keep you from leaving them. Make sure you flush your condoms, don’t throw them in the garbage. You got to practice operational security, or like Drake, “Spray some hot sauce in there. Burn it up, Tabasco baby!” The hot peppers. She won’t like that hot beef injection fo sho!

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