My Girlfriend Loves & Invites Attention From Other Men

What it means when your girlfriend loves & invites attention from other men.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who’s about to move in with his girlfriend of only 5 months. She doesn’t really respect the boundaries she agreed to. She likes girls nights out, but finally gave them up upon his insistence she stop if she wanted him to be her boyfriend. She also loves and invites attention from other men, promises to stop, then does it again.

My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Newsletter is going to be, “My Girlfriend Loves & Invites Attention From Other Men”.

Well, that’s not good when that is happening. That just shows her dad did not do a good job of raising her. So this particular email, he’s, I don’t know why, but he’s been dating this girl only for five months. He’s about to move in with her, and he’s got all these red flags and issues going on. And she doesn’t really respect the boundaries that he sets.

It’s like he’ll set a boundary, she’ll agree to it, and then she pushes past it anyways. Oh, oops. I did it again. Like the Britney Spears song. And it’s like she was doing girls night out a lot and she’s trying to get him to be her boyfriend. And he’s like, yeah, I’m not going to be your boyfriend. It’s like you’re living like you’re single. It’s like, we can just continue to date casually.

I don’t want to be in a relationship with a girl who wants to go clubbing all the time with their girlfriends. It’s like, you know, you’re just a party girl. And so begrudgingly, eventually she stopped doing that and he agreed to be her boyfriend. But she does things that are inappropriate.

And like in like the most recent case here is that they’re hanging out and she starts dancing provocatively where I guess there’s male dancers at some event or some festival or something like that. And she gets up and dances. The guy comes over and invites her to dance, and she dances very provocatively with him right in front of this dude. He’s like, that’s not something a lady does.

That’s something that an immature girl, maybe a sorority girl does. A girl that’s the town bicycle or the moped. The moped will get you where you want to go, but you don’t want anybody to see you on it. It’s like no guy wants that. And so he did a good job of saying, these are the boundaries, but just looks like he caved with this girl’s behavior.

I wouldn’t agree to be her boyfriend. And now he’s about to move in with her. He may have already moved in with her because this email came in about a week or two ago because he’s like, hey, we’re about to move in, you know, so you’re basically rewarding bad behavior. Maybe in some level he’s thinking, well, once we’re living together, I’ll have a little bit better control over what she does and who she sees, but that’s a bad way to go.

At the end of the day, the girl’s supposed to be earning you. She’s supposed to be convincing you the most eligible bachelor in the world. Why? You should stop seeing other women and only see her and live happily ever after. And in order for you to agree to that, you set out your terms and conditions. Well, this is what I expect. If you want me to commit to you, here’s what I expect.

And if the girl does not 100% honor that, then you don’t give her the commitment because she hasn’t earned it. But when you just cave, then she recognizes that she can get away with a little bullshit and she can kind of fudge the numbers. She can push the guardrails out a little bit more. She can move the goalposts on you, and the more soft and compliant you become, the more disrespectful she becomes.

And ultimately, you end up finding out that she’s sleeping with somebody else. So you don’t reward loyalty and commitment to a woman who hasn’t demonstrated that she shares a value system that would enable her to honor the commitments, plain and simple. It’s got to be a win win or no deal. And this girl got commitment when she, quite frankly, didn’t really earn it.

Viewer Email:

Hey Corey, 

I’ve been a follower of your work for over 10 years going from the rejected to the rejector.

Which it’s always better. It’s always better to be the rejector or to be the dumper instead of the one who’s being dumped.

Having multiple relationships and a 5-girl rotation up until I recently met the current girl I am dating. She made me block all the others if we were to be serious with each other which I could understand.

Well, again, she’s got to earn that.

In the beginning she mentioned going out with her friends for girl’s nights quite frequently and I said I’m not interested in anything serious with girls that go dancing around like they’re single.

Well, that’s the right response. It’s her job to convince you to be exclusive, and the only reason you’re going to be exclusive with her is because she makes it so awesome. She wants to be your teammate, your companion, your lover. She’s gonna make you food. She’s gonna give you an ice cold beer when you’re thirsty, stuff like that. But you don’t give her commitment until she shows that she’s worth the commitment.

She agreed but it kept coming up.

Well again, she’s testing the boundaries. So what does that tell us? She doesn’t respect the man’s authority. So she clearly doesn’t respect her dad’s authority. She doesn’t respect his authority, she won’t respect yours. Especially the hot girls know they just, if they just keep pushing and keep trying to push the boundaries a little bit, eventually the dude is going to cave.

She agreed but it kept coming up. We had this battle about 4 to 5 times, but she knew I wouldn’t change my stance so just submitted to it and doesn’t go on girl’s nights out.

Again, if you want me to be your boyfriend, no more girl’s night out with just you and your single girlfriends.

We have been dating for around 5 months now and everything is going really well to the point we will be moving in together next week.

Why dude? Why? She hasn’t earned it. You’re writing me this email and you’re gonna let this girl move in. Well, I guess you know, she’s probably already moved in now. Come on, man, you’ve got to vet for character. And you’re just allowing this girl to blow through the stop signs and the red lights, and you’re going, “yeah, I think I can work with this coach. I’ve got this blue book. I’ll fix her.” It’s like, no, you won’t.

She had booked us a holiday to Italy for my birthday which we have just returned from. Everything in the relationship is pretty much perfect. But one thing I noticed was she would occasionally check out other guys while we were together.

I mean, occasionally that’s gonna happen. You see your girl, look at somebody else. But if she’s doing it in a way that’s kind of blatant and lets you catch her and she’s kind of being obnoxious about it. You know, again, what I see when I read this email is, this girl behaves like a child. In other words, like a little child who’s like, no, don’t touch the stove. And you’re like, heh, heh, heh. And they’re touching it anyways.

“What are you gonna do? Ah! I burned my hand!” It’s like you deserve to get your hand burned. Again, she’s a woman who respects your authority as you’re like, no, we’re not doing that. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to go there. No, that doesn’t work for me. And that should be yes, daddy. And that’s the end of it.

Unless she just continually pushes and nags and “Oh, come on” and tries to get you to change. It’s like, nope. Again, you’ve rewarded a lot of bad behavior with commitment and your time. The greatest gift you can give anybody is a gift of your time. And you’re giving this girl all this time she hasn’t earned. So therefore she doesn’t earn it, she doesn’t respect it. She doesn’t appreciate it. She doesn’t value it. She hasn’t won you over. You just caved. Probably because she’s got a nice puswa. The punani is, first rate. As Donald Trump said, “There’s nothing like first rate pussy.”

After a while I brought it up and she denied. It kept happening, blatantly obviously.

Okay, so that’s why she’s definitely trying to be obvious about it and trolling you. She’s just this is how a woman tests your strength. You’re going to get little tests. But when a woman’s continually doing it with disrespectful things like this with other men, because he’s given her pushback on her basically continuing or wanting to act like she’s single. He’s like, “I’m not going to be committed if you’re going to act this way.”

And she’s like, “Oh, really?” She’s trying to get him to cave. He just can’t say no. And she stops. She just keeps pushing the boundaries. And unfortunately, he keeps rewarding that behavior. So she’s come to learn that yeah, he’s kind of soft and squishy. He’s like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. All you’ve got to do is push a little more firmer and he’ll like, “Woohoo” like the Pillsbury Doughboy. “Okay, I’ll do whatever you want.”

It kept happening, blatantly obviously and eventually after saying twice I just pulled back as I was getting tired of it. She chased so hard and I just told her, how many times do I have to say about this? Every time I see you do it, it makes me feel disrespected and embarrassed.

Again when she does this. Like, “I’m not going to be your boyfriend. If you’re going to do that. It’s like you’re acting like a single girl. I would never have such a disrespectful woman as my girlfriend. You can be my fuck buddy, and I don’t really care.” If people say, “well, your girl”, it’s like, “Ain’t my girl. We’re just fuck buddies. We’re friends with benefits. That’s it. She can do what she wants, and I do what I want. And when I find the right girl who has my value system, she and I will ride off into the sunset. And this girl will be in the rear-view mirror.”

Every time I see you do it, it makes me feel disrespected and embarrassed. If you want to check out other people, go and date other people. She went above and beyond to apologize and it didn’t happen anymore.

But you see, it’s like, man, there’s a pattern there. She just keeps doing it, keeps doing it, keeps doing it. And then finally she’s like, okay, okay. But you know, that’s what it seems like, right? But wait, there’s more.

But while we were on holiday in Italy on my actual birthday, breakdancers were performing in the street. We had both had a few drinks and I knew what was coming.

Well, you agreed to commit to this woman, and you already recognized that she ain’t gonna respect your boundaries. She’s gonna troll you. If she’s got a couple cocktails in her. This is who she is. What did Maya Angelou say? “When somebody tells you who they are, shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

While watching, one of the dancers came over and started dancing with her.

Of course.

She did a slutty little dance with him and after about 3 seconds I just called her a slut.

Well, I mean, sometimes you’ve got to call a spade a spade if she’s behaving that way. Again, this is like a woman that’s just flaunting the boundaries. This is not a girl who grew up with a strong, masculine father. He was either a soft, squishy dude or he wasn’t around. He was a pushover, and she just did whatever she wanted.

Maybe he also might have been very religious and very strict and so she does it to rebel. He says, “no, don’t do this.”, comes down on her like a ton of bricks. And then she just lies to him about it and does it anyways. So that’s what she learned in childhood. And now this is the end result of what happens when she becomes an adult. Look how she treats her boyfriend.

She again apologized but it just really put me off. I kept my cool but we went back to the hotel, she got undressed and tried to have sex but I just got up and went downstairs to sit outside.

Yeah, I see, she was like, “Oh, how about some of my magic pussy? That’ll fix this.” Girls are smart. It’s amazing when a woman’s backed into a corner and you won’t do what she wants. And she’s like, “How about my magic pussy?” And most guys go, “Okay.”

She kept calling and came downstairs after an hour of me not answering. I told her if she wanted a relationship, she cannot do things like this. She cried and told me how much she loved me etc. She was married to a beta male for around 15 years before.

Well.

So I imagine she got away with this crap.

Uh, yeah. She married a soft, squishy dude.

She’s an amazing girl and everything is great.

What? Are you sure? Are you high dude? How many cocktails have you had?

I just don’t fully trust her.

Duh.

If she was to go out.

Again, you’re rewarding her with, “Hey, let’s move in together. Babe, this is great.”

I don’t think she would intentionally do anything but she has demonstrated no self-control. 

Thanks 

Yeah. She’s like, “Oh, ah. It just kind of happened. I had one too many drinks and his penis ended up inside me. Sorry, I didn’t really mean to. I just don’t know what happened.” So again, if it’s me, I would not be this far down the road with a girl that’s like this. If it’s me and she hasn’t actually moved in yet, I’d be like, “After what happened on my birthday, you’re not moving in with me? No fucking way.”

It’s like “You haven’t earned it. You have not demonstrated to me that you can be a good, loyal, faithful girlfriend. You keep acting like the hot single girl that everybody tries to fuck. And you like giving out your number and you like the attention.” You can say, “Oh, well, she just had a couple drinks.” But it’s like, this is her nature.

So her nature is to push the boundaries and think that eventually, with enough time, she’s just going to wear you down. And that’s probably what will happen. It’s like, you know, if you’ve already moved in with her, it’s like, I don’t see this behavior changing. Maybe, maybe it will. Maybe you’ll be just the most awesome dude in the world and she’ll change forever. But just imagine when she really wants to be with a guy, how she behaves.

I mean, you can tell that he pulls away and she’s crying and waterworks. “Oh, I love you.” But what happens when she doesn’t feel that way? What happens if they, after a year living together, things have been pretty great. And he’s no longer dating her like he was. He’s coming home tired and not, you know, opening her up and seeing what’s going on in her life.

She feels a little disconnected and her interest drops. Then what? Then how is she’s going to behave? She’ll probably start going out with the girls again. “Oh, you’re being controlling. You’re just being jealous.” And she’ll be pushing back on it. But he already rewarded her, and it looks like he’s probably already moved in, so. Send us an email in a couple of months from now.

Let us know how the boundaries are going. But this girl just, she’s going to push and push and push because she’s used to just outweighing the guy. You know, it’s kind of like the Taliban said, the Americans have all of the ammunition and all the military, but we have time on our side. That’s how the Taliban looked at us. Like, yeah, we’ll just out-wait the Americans. And it worked for the Taliban.

So it’s like he’s in a relationship with a female Taliban. It’s like, oh, no, girls can be educated. It’s going to be great. We’re not, we’re not. We’re a more progressive Taliban. A couple years later, girls can’t work. They can’t be educated past elementary school. They can’t leave the house without a male relative. They basically went right back to the old Sharia law that they had imposed in the past. They lied. Imagine that.

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