My Girlfriend Wants To Attend A Bachelorette Party In Vegas With Male Strippers

Some things to consider if your girlfriend wants to attend a bachelorette party in Vegas with male strippers.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email from a viewer who has been dating his girlfriend for several months. He laid out the boundaries he expected her to follow if he agreed to be exclusive. So far she has respected them. However, one of his girlfriend’s friends from college wants to have her bachelorette party in Vegas with male strippers. This violates the boundaries they agreed to. He asks my opinion. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

Hi, I’m Coach Corey Wayne and this is my Video Coaching Newsletter. And the topic of today’s Members Only Newsletter is, “My Girlfriend Wants To Attend A Bachelorette Party In Vegas With Male Strippers.”

Does that sound like something a lady would do? A family oriented girl would do? Women that are family oriented, that are all about raising kids and being loyal and faithful to their husband or their boyfriend or their baby daddy, they’re not going to go and do something like that. And if they are going to go to Vegas, they’ll want the whole family to go, and maybe they’ll go to some of the parties, but they’re going to skip out on any of the strippers or any of that kind of crap. They’re just not going to do stuff like that.

Because they don’t want anybody thinking wrong because they’re a lady. A lady is going to be honorable and honor her man, and honor her family, and honor her children. She’s not going to go out and act like she’s some chick in college in a sorority. And so this particular video is from a guy who just got exclusive with his girlfriend of several months. And when he agreed to be exclusive, he laid out all the boundaries that he expected her to adhere to if he was going to agree to be her boyfriend. He’s like, “Hey, you want me to be exclusive with you? I’m happy to do that. I’m honored. But this is what I expect from you.”

And so now, recently, like one of her best girlfriends from college, I don’t know, maybe one of her sorority sisters or whatever that she’s known, because this woman is almost 40 years old, wants to go to Vegas and bring all of her girlfriends to have a bachelorette party and have male strippers. And so that’s fine. If everybody that they’re going with, they’re all a bunch of single girls, because who cares then? But if I’m getting married to a girl and she wants to go to Vegas and have a bachelorette party in Vegas. Like that doesn’t, that’s not a good look. Does that look like somebody that’s really family oriented, and doesn’t want to give anybody the wrong impression?

I mean, women that are family oriented, what do they do? They go out, they have a few drinks. They get their little crown and their bride (accessories) and they do shots in bars and they party, and then maybe they get a limo or whatever. And then, you know, they go home and they barf and they wake up and they’re hungover for a couple of days, and that’s the end of it. They’re not going out and doing things to invite attention from other men. And so a Vegas Bachelorette party is fine if all the girls are that are going are single, but women that have families and got kids, they’re not going to go off and do something like that.

No husband is going to want to pay for his wife to go to Vegas and basically act like a single person. And because what do you think? Why do you want to go to Vegas? Why wouldn’t you just go out and have a nice dinner, have some drinks with your girls? Even on my bachelor party. I was never a big fan of going to titty bars. I had friends that loved going to them all the time, but to me it was always kind of demeaning. Why should I go and pay to have a girl lap dance for me? Why should I have to pay a girl to talk to me? I hated going there.

So my Bachelor party when I got married, what did we do? It was about eight of us. One of my good friends drove us. He was the sober one. And we started out at Hooters. We had beer and wings. We went to 3 or 4 other bars, went downtown Orlando. We went out and partied like a bunch of dudes. We didn’t go to titty bars or anything like that. And then we went home. I remember puking in the sink and barfing up my wings, and it was just like a gooey sticky, it still looked like wings. I remember being drunk and trying to push all the puked down the drain in the sink. I was like [shakes head.]

The things that you remember. All the good times in life, right? I woke up with a hell of a hangover the next day, and my buddies and I, we all went to breakfast and that was it. I wasn’t going to go to no titty bar or anything like that. Half my friends are already married. It’s like their wives wouldn’t appreciate that. To me, I mean, like, when I was younger, I thought, that’s common sense. Why would why would you do anything else? But common sense is not that common, unfortunately.

And so this guy is now wondering is like, “what do I do about this?” So let’s go through his email because this is something you just can’t brush under the rug. Because character is destiny. You got to pay attention to all these things because they’ve only been exclusive for a few months. And and this guy’s been following me for over ten years. And so he wants to take his time. He wants to vet this girl properly.

Viewer Email:

Hi Corey, 

First off, thank you for your work. I have been following you for over 10 years and been through your book countless times. It’s been a great tool to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to women and people throughout my life. I do have a question that I’m not sure you have touched on in the book, or in previous newsletter videos over the years. I am 39, in great physical shape, make a 6-figure income, and would consider myself a catch.

My girlfriend is also 39, beautiful, easy going and kind, and generally conservative in her views on things. We had been dating for about 8 weeks when she brought up the exclusivity “What are we?” talk. At that point, I laid out boundaries which you suggest. No hanging out with male “friends” alone, no going out to bars/clubs alone, no seeking male attention on social media via photos or posts, etc.

Again, like when I was younger, I just thought this stuff was common sense because if a girl is really with you, she’s not inviting attention on Social Media or from other dudes that she meets in public because she’s got a boyfriend. If a guy asks for her number, she’s gonna say, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend. Sorry. I’m in a relationship, I can’t.” A good woman is just, that’s how she’s going to operate. A woman who doesn’t really give a shit, or who’s not happy, is going to happily give out her number because she likes the attention.

And those are girls that come from broken homes. Do that kind of stuff. Again, I used to think that that stuff was common sense because again, character is destiny. You know, even though my parents didn’t really have what I considered a great relationship, they still were together. My ex-wife’s parents, I mean, they’re still together. They had a good relationship. They raised their daughters great. Daughters were respectful. They weren’t the town bicycle.

You know, they were ladies. They acted like ladies. They were fucking debutantes. So it was like, “How could people not know this stuff?” But obviously not everybody had the same path that I had. So especially in the last, you know, years, these are things because these are problems that guys are having is they’re getting involved with these women from broken homes, and they just assumed because they’re hot that they must be great. I used to think that, but after I dated enough when I was younger, I realized that again, character is destiny.

You got to look at what she does. You got to look at what her family background is. Is she tight with her Father? Girls have a good relationship with their Dad, are great to date and have a relationship with. Girls where the Dad is missing or they have a bad relationship with them or they hate them, they’re just hell on wheels. And I have yet to find an exception to that. And if you guys saw the podcast with Tucker Carlson and Sean Ryan, that was one of the first things that Sean asked him was, “What’s the key to a great relationship or marriage?”

Because Tucker’s been with the same woman for like 40 something years, since he was like a sophomore in high school. He met her, thought she was cute, and had a nice ass. He went over and started talking to her, and they’ve been together ever since. And they’ve lived happily ever after. And he says, “What’s the key to a good marriage?” First thing, right out of his mouth. Find a girl that really loves her Father.

He’s like, “I’ve seen it across the board. My friends, people I know, girls that have good relationships with their Dads and love their Dads and respect and admire their Dads and listen to their authority. They’re great to be in a relationship with. But when the girl has a terrible relationship with their Father, or the Father is not around, or they come from a broken home, it just doesn’t end well.”

And that’s what I’ve seen most of the time that’s the case. Now, there are instances where a woman comes from a broken home and she does the work. She goes to therapy, she fixes herself. She makes herself a good, honorable woman because those are her values and her goals that she aspires to. But most people will not do that. So you have to pay attention to these things. So back to our email.

At that point, I laid out boundaries which you suggest.

And I think it’s good to go over them again.

No hanging out with male “friends” alone, no going out to bars/clubs alone, no seeking male attention on social media via photos or posts, etc.

Because women that do that, they’re still acting like they’re single. And they want attention again. That’s what happens when there’s no Dad around.

She agreed to all of the boundaries set, said they sounded fair, and we decided to move forward and become exclusive.

So that’s a great time to say, “Here’s the boundaries. If you want me to be exclusive and commit to only you, this is what I expect in return. And these are non-negotiable.” Because again, girls that give out their number and post on Social Media and are bending over, spreading their legs, you know, doing camel toe yoga poses, it’s like that’s not something a family oriented girl is going to do.

So far, she has been respectful of the boundaries and things have been going well, we are only a few months into the relationship. Long story short, her long-time girlfriend from college is getting married next year and there are rumblings of a bachelorette party. I told her the boundaries I set still apply.

Because women are always going to test them. They’re going to try to see what they can get away with, because this is part of seeing whether you’re a bitch and a pushover or not. If you act like a bitch, women will treat you like a bitch. That’s something the dudes in the Red Pill community just don’t get. They want to act like a bitch and expect the woman just to put up with it.

And her going out to a club and getting drunk, even for a special occasion such as this, would break that boundary. She agreed to this. But there is talk of going to a male strip club or one of those Magic Mike shows. The likely location will be Las Vegas.

Again, a family oriented girl, a woman that’s in a relationship, a woman that respects her relationship. A woman that is terrified of losing her man because she’s got such a great dude in her life, she ain’t going to go to Vegas. Who goes to Vegas for Bachelorette parties? People want to fuck around. People that are single. And what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right? It’s like that saying exists for a reason.

I would not be okay with a private party with male strippers, and not so sure about a male strip club/show.

I mean, if you and your girl, if your girl is into other women, the two of you going to a strip club to spice up your love life, is like no big deal because you’re going together. But her going to Vegas without you there, it’s like, absolutely not. The fact that you even have to mention this. It’s again, a woman that’s raised in a good family is just not going to do these things. And you are who you associate with. And so think about this from this perspective.

One of her best girlfriends from college, who’s obviously probably also 39 or somewhere around there, is wanting to get married. And she’s thinking it’s a good idea to go to Vegas, have a bachelorette party, and have other dicks in her face. Does that sound like a family oriented woman? No.

It sounds like a woman who probably doesn’t respect her man or her relationship very much, and who probably will cheat or entertain attention from other guys, or wants to go to Vegas so she can do things and get away with things that her husband to be won’t find out about. Again, a family oriented girl, a lady, a debutante if you will. The kind of women that I grew up with that, you know, it’s, girls that come from families that are just good families, they’re just simply not going to behave this way.

I have heard many horror stories about male strippers and women in relationships cheating during these private parties or bachelorette weekends. I want her to have a good time with her girlfriends, but at the same time the whole strip club/show thing is giving me concern.

I would just tell her, it’s like, “Absolutely not. Because you’re basically saying you want to go hang out with your Sorority Sister in Vegas and go to a male strip club. It’s like, how do you think that’s going to make her husband to be unless he’s a bitch, feel?” Oh, yeah. My fiancée went to Vegas with all of her girlfriends from college, and they’re, you know, at a male strip bar at a Magic Mike show. I’m like, “What? Why would you marry somebody that wants to do that? Why would you agree to be exclusive with a woman that thinks that behavior is okay?”

I do not know and have not met her girlfriends yet, so I am not sure what kind of company she will be in. 

What are your thoughts on this?   

Bob

Well, again, if the one that’s getting married thinks this is a good idea, well, that pretty much tells you that she still acts and thinks like she’s single. You are who you associate with. So if your girlfriend brings this up, it’s like, “Well, these are the boundaries discussed. It’s like you are basically telling me you want a hall pass to go to Vegas. It’s like, how would you feel if I was going to go to Vegas with all of my buddies and have a bachelor party, and there’s going to be tons of hot strippers there that are going to be giving all of us lap dances naked, and they’re all basically prostitutes and are down to have sex.”

“You’re going to be okay with me being in a room with a bunch of women who are probably having sex with some of my other buddies? Of course you’re not. So you can’t expect me to be. Oh, yeah. Go to Vegas. That sounds great.” Again, family oriented women, what are they going to do? They’re going to do something kind of lame like I did in my bachelor party which is, not that it was lame, it’s just I didn’t want to go to a strip bar.

It’s like I wanted to respect my wife to be. And plus, I didn’t want to go to strip bars. It’s like, to me, it’s always been demeaning to go to a titty bar and pay a girl to hang out and talk to you or or lap dance on you. The only time I went was because my buddies dragged me there. But again, this should be common sense. But like I said earlier, common sense is not so common. So if it was me, it’s like, yeah, that doesn’t fly. It’s like, you should want to just stay in town, go out, have a few drinks, go to a nice dinner, do your thing with your girls. Then maybe the guys meet up with you later. I mean, that happens a lot too.

In Bachelorette parties, in my peer group, is, the girls would go out and have a few drinks and do a dinner together, and then the boyfriends and the husbands would meet up with them around 10 or 11, and we would all party together. It was like, to me, that’s normal, because it’s like a family of people, of friends, and all of us are together because we’re supposed to be presenting an image to the world and each other that, “Hey, our relationships are important to us. Keeping our word and our commitment is important to us. We want everything to be in the open. We don’t want to do stuff behind closed doors. We don’t want to do stuff that would cause our significant other to doubt us.”

It’s like, that’s just common sense and courtesy. Because if you don’t respect your significant other and you don’t respect your relationship, and you don’t care about being loyal and faithful and monogamy and exclusivity, of course, you’re going to want to go to Vegas and do those kinds of things. So again, your girlfriend committed to display these family oriented values, and in return, you would give her exclusivity, which you did. And now she’s wanting to go against that and go to Vegas.

I mean, the fact that she’s bringing it up, I’d say it’s like, “Honestly, I love you, but it’s kind of disappointing that you would bring this up. And we had this discussion about these boundaries and you’re basically saying, Hey, I want to go act like I’m single for a week and my girlfriend is in Vegas. And oh, just trust me. It’s like, I wouldn’t do that to you. And again, we discuss these boundaries and now you want to go back on your word. That’s troubling to me. That makes me think that maybe our goals and values aren’t really aligned.”

Again, a lady doesn’t do these things. A chick that’s a whore or a town bicycle, or a girl that sleeps around or cheats on her boyfriend or husband, they do things like this. Not a woman that is hoping that, “I’m going to be your man. Or maybe we have a family together someday.” That’s just absurd. It’s absurd to even ask me. I mean, to be honest with you. I mean, obviously, you’re going to have to have this discussion and use a little bit more diplomatic language that I’m using. But this is me talking to you, and I want you to be thinking about these things because, no, it’s not appropriate if you’re in a relationship, especially when you’ve set these boundaries.

It’s like, absolutely not. And the fact that she’s asking you what she should be saying to her girlfriend is like, hey, you’re getting married and I have a boyfriend, and all these other girls that were going with have a boyfriend and going to Vegas is inappropriate. Going to Vegas and doing stuff like that is like, that’s so disrespectful to your husband to be. Why would he want to be exclusive with you when you want to go to Vegas and behave this way? You are who you associate with. So I would be paying more attention to, you know, especially in the coming months as you’re going to start meeting some of her girlfriends, what are they like?

Because do her girlfriends, are they loyal and faithful to their husbands or their boyfriends, or are they habitual and serial cheaters? Because women that are habitual and serial cheaters, they want to go clubbing. They want to go to Vegas. They give out their number. They have male friends that they meet for drinks and dinner at night. It’s just, again, a lady doesn’t do stuff like that. This should be common sense, but unfortunately there’s a lot of people that come from broken homes and think this is okay, normal behavior and it’s just not.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen on any page, and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.