How to get your wife or girlfriend to still chase you like you are dating.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who has been following my work for 4 years. He shares how he met and seduced his wife, how easy and effortless their courtship was, and how the question of marriage came up and they got married.
He shares how his wife still chases him, they have sex 6-10 times every week and how into it his wife is. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.
This guy said he’s read 3% Man about nine times. Obviously, I always say 10 to 15. And the only thing I see that he’s doing wrong is that he’s having arguments and fights with his wife, which he shouldn’t do. But they have a great sex life. He says they’re hooking up 6 to 10 times a week, which is great. When you look at the stats of couples that go the distance for many decades and they have what they consider to be a good marriage, they’re having sex, on average, a minimum of three times a week, so that’s good. If you have a good sex life, three times a week, and you’ve been together for many years, that’s that’s pretty awesome. Because with most people, what ends up happening, the longer they’re in a relationship, they end up having sex like every two weeks, twice a month, basically. It’s just kind of a release, and that doesn’t sound very exciting.
As so many have shared, and as you obviously know, your advice made a massive difference! I’m 34 and I first found your work about 4 years ago and jumped right in. I had already read lots of books on self-help, sales, communication, etc. but had never been able to truly connect the dots when it came to women, especially the pretty ones.
So, we can tell from that, he probably tended to pedestalize the women he really liked. He got really dopey, really soft, and let women walk all over him. And then they friendzoned him or said he’s too nice, “Oh, I need to work on myself. You’re a great guy.” That kind of stuff.
They always intimidated me. Your book was the FIRST thing I read, THEN I jumped into your videos after I finished it the first time. I read your book 9 times over the course of a few months then set out to make tons of mistakes…
So, it seems like he stopped reading it four years ago. So he’s probably backsliding on some level.
…go back to the book, make a correction, then go make some more mistakes, just chipping away at the old programming and allowing the new programming to actually CHANGE WHO I WAS.
I would say, what it really does is it teaches you to accentuate the attractive behaviors. When you exhibit attractive behaviors and women respond positively to that, you get positive reinforcement. And so, you do more of that, and when you do unattractive behaviors and it turns her off, you get negative reinforcement. So, you move away from the things that don’t work and move towards the things that do work.
The thing that makes it so difficult for guys is almost all women just have no idea how attraction works. They’ll tell you what they think, but then when you look at what they do, they do the opposite. That’s why when guys seek out advice from women, they get so many mixed responses and answers that don’t make any sense.
If you’ve watched the podcast I’ve done with the girls, I see guys in the comments, they do it all the time, and it just continues to confirm the things that I talk about in my book. And that’s why I have the girls on, so we can show you these things. I can point out things the way they are, you can hear what comes out of their mouth, and then I’ll ask a different question or ask a question a different way, and then you find out what the real answer happens to be.
Anyway, I “met” my wife 3 years ago July 4, 2019 on Plenty of Fish, (I set my profile up EXACTLY as you recommended). By then, I had already made HUNDREDS of mistakes and was in a much better position as a true masculine man than I was just a few months before.
Yeah, because you’re getting successful repetitions. That’s why I say read it 10 to 15 times. It doesn’t help to read it 10 to 15 times and then do no practicing. And then, two years after you’ve read it, go and do one approach. I mean, you’ve got to have hundreds and hundreds of failures.
When I was a teenager and all through my twenties, I was out every weekend, Friday, Saturday night, partying, trying to get better, trying to figure things out. This was pre-internet, pre-self help books on the topic. There was just nothing. I think “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” was like the only self help book that was even out there. And that’s going to help you when you’re in a relationship. It’s not going to teach you how attraction works or any of those things.
Our first messages on POF were intentional towards setting up a date, not endless messages for weeks before even getting a phone number. I did initiate with her on the app, but I knew where I was in the “negotiation,” so I wasn’t fazed by her position as the one being initially “chased.”
The reality is women have all the power on the dating apps, and I’ve gone over this before, because the dating apps have released the data on it. And it’s so interesting that I think it’s like 80% of the women have their height that they want their guys to match with to be like six feet and above. Therefore, anybody that’s below six feet, they never even see their profile, it never comes up. So, right off the bat, 80% of the dudes are eliminated if they’re under six feet for the majority of women.
But if you meet these same women in person, and you’re 5’5″ and you act like a man, she’s going to feel attraction and go out with you. And then you’re going to hear just like what I got used to hearing which was, “You’re not the typical guy I normally date. I usually date guys much bigger and much bulkier than you.” I was like, “Yeah, well, you’re still naked here in my bed.”
Anyway, she gave me her number, and I called her the next day because I was already busy with another girl that day.
So, he had multiple choices and multiple options. He was a serious student. He wasn’t just putting all of his eggs in one basket, so to speak. Because repetition is the mother of skill. You’ve got to fail a lot in order to succeed. You’ve got to get through the nos in order to get to the yeses. That’s why it’s so important to read the book and apply it.
So, I called her on July 5th, we talked for like 12 minutes, and she only wanted to know where I stood religiously because that was important to her. I told her the truth, but in a very playful manner, and we both agreed on where we were at religiously. Then I asked her on a date and told her I only had the next evening available.
So, it just shows you how interest and masculinity cuts through everything, even everything the woman says that she wants.
And she said, “Well I usually talk to someone for at least 6 weeks before going out with him.”
That’s the guys that she’s really not into. She makes them jump through their butt like performing seals.
To which I said, “Great, you have my number. Give me a call when you are ready to get together.”
The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. If you want what you want and somebody offers you something that’s the opposite of what you want, you don’t cave and hope they change their mind later. You just go, “Hey, thanks, but no thanks. You’ve got my number. Give me a call later.”
Instantly, her story changed. She said, “Well, to be honest, I have a date planned for tomorrow, but I will cancel it and go out with you.” BOOM! First date booked.
On our first date, her attraction level was an 8, and that is likely under judging it. It was so cool to see such a beautiful woman in her complete feminine, from “accidentally” bumping into me, me being playful with her telling her, “you can’t touch me yet,” to eventually after like 2 hours together, talking and walking around Chicago. We were standing at the smoothie stand by the beach, I kissed her, and she easily responded with a kiss. Then I did it; I actually tickled her nipple because it was sticking out of her shirt and needed to be acknowledged! Ha-ha.
Well, you’ve got to be careful. Those are dicey situations. But you were kissing and making out and, “Oops! I just accidentally bumped your nipple.” It’s like, “Ooh, is it cold in here?” Obviously it’s Chicago, so it’s always cold weather. That’s why they call it the Windy City. The Windy City, where high beams are aplenty when you get a nice, brisk breeze.
She told me later that she would have typically slapped a guy for that…
Yeah, but not the guy she wants to sleep with. Not the guy she’s attracted to. Not the alpha. The beta, yeah. The alpha, “Ooh, do it again.”
…but something told her that she wanted more!
I’m shocked. I’m really shocked.
As you can guess, it was natural. We spent the next four days together at my place with plenty of indoor Olympics.
But I thought she was a religious girl. Emotions override everything. This has nothing to do with logic. It has everything to do with how he made her feel. Remember, she makes guys wait six weeks. And, of course, he’s sleeping with her four days in a row the first time they met. Imagine that, she broke all her rules for him. I wonder why.
Check this out, just 8 days later, she actually was on her knees in my bedroom asking me to marry her. Like, she literally asked me to marry her! I told her, “Not right now, but while you are down there, you can suck my pecker!”
That’s called being submissive.
So, I went to your videos to figure out what was going so right and to constantly check to make sure I was doing this RIGHT. She was totally pursuing me, making it totally seamless.
I would say, effortless.
Well, we did get married just six months later.
Well, I wouldn’t have done it that soon, but I understand why you did it.
That was natural too, and to this day, it is still her that is constantly pursuing me.
This is natural. This is the way it’s supposed to be. This is the way the Creator designed women. It doesn’t matter what feminism or any that BS you see on TV, and the movies is. That stuff is unnatural that they’re teaching you. It goes against what the Creator designed us to be. So, no matter how much leftist, Marxist, Leninist nonsense they pump into everybody’s heads, women still respond to masculinity.
I literally keep the SAME EXACT principles and maintain my center, she wants to be with me more than ever before, and I put in very little effort to “keep her” or “chase her.”
Women are designed to seek a man’s attention. They do this naturally if you act like a man. Remember what she said, “Most guys, I don’t even meet for six weeks.” But yet there he is, days after meeting her, playing with her nipple in the Windy City. And she’s liking it, instead of slapping him. And then what? A week later, after they spent four days together constantly, with the indoor Olympics, she’s begging him to marry her. So much for the rules.
Sure, she has her moments and we have had our spats and fights…
Men who understand women don’t argue with them, dude. You can have a spirited debates, but you don’t have fights, you don’t argue. This tells me you need to go back and read the book again.
…but we talk about them, get reconnected and we are fine.
But you still shouldn’t be fighting.
We have sex still 6-10 times a week, and she can’t wait for more.
Well, like I say, I’ve been saying it for years. What will end up happening is, if you follow what’s in this book, she’s going to actually want sex more than you do. That’s a really tough position to be in as a man, being with a woman who is constantly wanting you inside her. And you think about all those guys you know that are just hoping to get a little, once or twice a month. “I’ve got to get my wife on those good days when she’s not mad. I don’t want to piss her off.”
All that to say this, guys who read the book 10-15 times see a massive difference between those that just want to cherry pick your videos for a quick fix and those that want to truly apply the principles and become an actual 3% man.
Yeah, she had a date set up the next day, and she cancelled it. Remember, this was a girl that was saying, “Oh, all guys have to wait six weeks to go out on a date with me.” Meanwhile, she’s canceling a date to spend time with this guy, because it was the only day he had open. Imagine that.
I’m still very into your videos, always looking at ways to be a better husband, do what the Bible says and actually LOVE my wife.
All the best Coach!
That’s good, but you should read this little blue Bible to accompany the actual Bible of God’s word, if you will. And so, for all of those ultra religious guys that are in my comments trying to project their narrow minded religious view of the world, it’s like, you apply your reality, your morality, your religion, and this book tells you how to get what you want from women. So, it’s up to you if you’re ultra religious, “no sex until marriage.”
Obviously, that wasn’t the case here. But they were two very religious people. Maybe they went to confession, they got forgiven for their sins. They did their Hail Marys, whatever it happened to be. But at the end of the day, the point being is that I’m not here to judge you or be your priest. I’m just saying, here’s how things work. You can seduce her on the first date like this guy did, or you can seduce her on your wedding night, whatever works for you. I’m just here to give you the tools and the principles that you need to succeed.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly.
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Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur