Why losing your job, your life going to shit, and your life falling apart is a good thing, and how you can use challenging life situations to force you to move in a new direction so you can become the person you were really meant to be.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email from a viewer who recently got fired from a job he hated because he was dozing off at work. He’s living with his parents, he’s broke, he’s upset he got fired before he could quit his job, there’s not much going on in his personal life, and he basically feels like his whole world has gone to shit. He’s also a graphic designer and does work on the side, but his side business is not at the point where it can support him financially.
He says he’s trying his best not to feel defeated since this is the second time this has happened in the past few years. He asks my opinion on what he should do now and what he should focus on to turn his life around so he can start to enjoy his life and create the lifestyle he’s always wanted.
Good evening Corey,
I feel as though I’ve hit rock bottom. Today, a week after my 27th birthday, I got fired from a job I was unhappy at because I was caught nodding off at my desk for a couple of minutes. (You were clearly not passionate about your job, and therefore not contributing enough to the organization.) Here I am, no job, no savings, in debt, and all I have is my skills.
I was a customer service representative, but was unhappy. The workload was increasing, the policies had become much more strict and unfair, and the morale among all of our employees was extremely low. (Why would you want to spend your life working at a place that is sucking the life force from you? Look at this this as an opportunity. The universe has created space in your life, so focus, and apply yourself to something you really love.) We were all treated like slaves, and it hurt to be subject to such mistreatment. I would wake up and drag myself to work everyday. I didn’t have the strength anymore to look for the same kind of job, expecting the same kind of results. This was my second customer service job in the past four years with the same results — lack of fair treatment and respect. (You did nothing to help yourself, and put less energy into your job, resulting in you getting fired.) After two frustrating jobs, I was tired, drained, and felt like I was burned out. I wanted so badly to get out of my current job, but would come home too tired to lift a finger to consistently look for more work, or a new environment. (Instead of having the pattern repeat itself, find something emotionally compelling.)
As time passes on, I feel myself becoming more distant from the nature of who I truly am, which is a vibrant, creative individual. I am a chill person, but I have an active, sociable, and upbeat personality. However, even writing this email feels
tough mentally — experiencing mental lapses and finding it difficult to focus.
I would get a good night’s rest the night before, but I would come to work tired which I never understood. (You are probably not practicing optimum health to get in better shape, get in better health, and have more energy.) I had increased anxiety, and was always eating whenever I felt anxious. Emotionally, I feel like my heart is heavy, my body and mind is heavy, everything just feels heavy, my confidence is low, my morale is low and I’m trying to stay focused and disciplined.
Ironically, this is all coming at a time when I’m going through a transitional period mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. A process of self improvement, but now, I feel like my world has gone to shit. Just when I felt like things were looking up, I slipped and allowed a job I had hoped to walk out on, kick me to the curb like I was nothing. (It’s obvious your ego was just damaged, but the good news is, you can get a better job.) I can’t believe I allowed that to happen to me.
On the side, I was a graphic designer and artist which always accrued side income for me. It was also an escape and a getaway for me when my days were tough. However, the busier I was getting as a graphic designer, the more I realized how much energy and time I needed to dedicate to my side business, hoping to spin it into an apparel brand.
At this point, I’m not trying to feel defeated, but I don’t know man. I feel so fucking low and defeated man. I’m tired, broke, and low. I’ve never been in the position before where I’ve felt this way. (The only place to go is up. Go get an appealing job that is compelling to you instead of hating what you’re doing.) I want to change my life for the better. I want to be happy, but the future looks uncertain me. (If you are in a fearful state, the best thing you can do is take action. This is the only way you will get results.) My chest feels like it wants to cry, but I can’t even let out a tear. I’m struggling emotionally and mentally right now, and it’s uncomfortable. I currently live at home where I chip in for some of the bills and rent. I’m so ashamed, I haven’t even told my mom what happened.
I don’t know how to get over this emotionally, man. I feel like my world has gone to shit. I’ve been going to the gym, taking care of my body, going out, and participating in activities to make myself feel better, but now, I feel paralyzed. I guess it’s because of uncertainty for the future. (The reason he feels paralyzed is because he is not taking any action to improve his situation. Living in a fearful state is unhealthy.)
“When your life goes to Hell in a hand basket, you get fired from your job, your company downsizes, your lover dumps you unexpectedly, you have health challenges, etc., these are the ways that life gets our attention. It gets our attention in such a way as to force us to move in a new direction. Pain is life’s way of telling us that what we are doing, how we are living, or who we are spending our time with no longer serves us, and we need to make a change. When your life circumstances or relationships dissolve, you must look at it as a positive opportunity for change. What’s happened has happened, and couldn’t have happened any other way. It’s supposed to be this way. It needs to be this way. It must be this way. Only when you have a clean slate can you truly start over, create something new, and become a better, more improved, more successful version of yourself. Calamity, disaster, and destruction is a gift. See it as such, and take action accordingly.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne