Never Chase After Being Dumped

Apr 30, 2014 by Coach Corey Wayne

Photo by iStock.com/GlobalStock
Why chasing and pursuing someone who dumped you or friend zoned you is a bad idea and what to do instead to have any chance of getting them back romantically. Why you should never agree to be friends only after being dumped thinking you can sneak under the radar and resume your romance later.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss four different emails from four different viewers. The first email is from a viewer who was dating a woman who dumped him and told him the reason was because she was starting to have strong feelings for him, and wasn’t ready to have a boyfriend (yea right). He said he was ok with being friends only (bullshit). Days later he started to chase and blow up her phone which obviously got him nowhere. The second email is from a viewer who met a woman at a social gathering for young professionals. They started making out, but she declined going home with him; but to definitely call her the next week so they could see each other again. He got in touch a few days later, but she never responded. Two months later at another meeting, the same thing happened. After a few drinks they were making out again. She once again declined his invitation to join him at his place, but to surely call him the next week so they could plan a date. He did, but said some inappropriate things and she ignored him once again. He asks what to do now.

The third email is from a viewer whose ex is now starting to contact him more and more, many months after their breakup. He shares some of the humorous and playful comebacks he came up with on the fly to her resistance and testing. He asks me what to do going forward to continue to escalate things physically and increase her chasing. The fourth email is from a viewer who has completely turned his professional, dating and personal life around after being depressed, insecure and needy after he got dumped by his girlfriend of several years. He says it’s an excellent feeling of confidence, peace and certainty that he feels right now in his life since everything is going so well. The cherry on top is the fact his ex recently reached out to him with a long mushy email after three months of no contact.

Get the Book “How To Be A 3% Man”

How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | FREE**
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
How to Be a 3% Man
Audiobook | $19.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
How to Be a 3% Man
Kindle eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
iBooks eBook | $9.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Paperback | $29.99
How to Be a 3% Man
Hardcover | $49.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Get the Book “Mastering Yourself”

Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | FREE**
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
Mastering Yourself
Audiobook | $24.95
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
**Free with a new Audible.com membership
Mastering Yourself
Kindle eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
iBooks eBook | $9.99
Mastering Yourself
Lulu eBook | $9.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
Mastering Yourself
Paperback | $49.99
Mastering Yourself
Hardcover | $99.99
*Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc. or its affiliates. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Coach Corey Wayne Merchandise

T-Shirts & Mugs

If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com

If you feel I have added value to your life, you can show your appreciation by doing one of the following three things:

  1. Make a donation to my work by clicking here to donate via PayPal anytime you feel I have added significant value to your life. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck... $2... $3... $5... $10... $20... what ever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, videos, emails, newsletters, etc.
  2. Referring your friends and family to this website so they can start learning and improving their dating and relationship life, happiness, balance and overall success in every area of their lives too!
  3. Purchase a phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session for yourself or a friend by clicking here. Download the Amazon.com Kindle version of my book to your Kindle, Smartphone, Mac or PC for only $9.99 by clicking here. Get the iBook version for $9.99 from the iBookstore by clicking here. Get the Audio Book for FREE $0.00 with an Audible.com membership by clicking here or buy it for $19.95 at Amazon.com by clicking here. Get the iTunes Audio Book for $19.95 by clicking here. That way, you'll always have it with you to reference when you need it most. Thank you for reading this message!

From my heart to yours,

Corey Wayne
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur

“It takes two people who have mutual interest, respect, desire and empathy for one another, in order to make a relationship happen or to rekindle a romance. If someone no longer wants to make the effort to keep you in their life, it is demeaning, unloving and disrespectful to yourself to continue chasing, begging and pleading with them to change their mind about you. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it. The self loving thing to do if you have been dumped is to seek out a new lover who will appreciate you, not staying stuck in the past wishing things will change. Not accepting the reality of what is, only leads to suffering. You were not put on this earth to suffer, but to create magnificent things and a magnificent life for yourself. Therefore, the only option is to keep moving, keep searching and keep taking action to make your dreams, goals and desires a reality.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne

Published on April 30, 2014

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Women are shadyest fcks ever. They do 100% to get you, mess your head over years and when you finally take them naturally and a part of your life who you have to take care of, they leave.
    Coreys work is 100% correct. Summary would be : always focus on yourself, keep other women always up for options and never let no women under your skin, no matter how many years of work they put into – NEVER forget it.
    Any long relationship is a waste of life.

  2. Hi Corey,

    I’d like your advice please.

    I’m a mid-forties guy, extremely confident, ambitious etc., who has never had any problem attracting lovely women or keeping them for many years. I’m a serial monogamist. I am respectful to women, see them as equals and am not comfortable ‘playing games’.

    About 6 months ago, my partner of 10 years who is 13 years younger than me, broke up with me out of the blue (in hindsight there were clues but at the time I attributed them to her being unwell and exhausted). When I met her she was inexperienced in relationships (only 21) so when we started to get serious I gave her some ‘rules’ for managing relationships – namely, communication is king, always try to raise issues/concerns before they become real problems, always be forthright (i.e. don’t drop hints, cos guys tend to miss them) and never make love if you don’t actually feel like it. At the end, she managed to forget/ignore all these.

    We’d always been good at communicating. We almost never argued and when we did worked it out well and were happy to disagree. We have so much in common. Our relationship was, for both of us, absolutely fantastic. I have a grown-up daughter from a previous relationship and from day one told her I was not interested in starting again and that I was not keen on marriage as a concept either. About 3 years ago, not long after we moved in together, she said she was really broody. I said at the time that she would have to leave me and do that with someone else but that she should keep talking about the issue if her broodiness stayed/returned because you never know what might happen to change my mind.

    Gradually, I changed my mind. I love kids even if they are exhausting! I love her like no-one else, ever. Although I maintained my independence, I did perhaps look after her too readily (she was a long-term student). I waited until she got a job and was in a position of independence to tell her I’d changed my mind about marriage and kids. In hindsight it’s obvious that she’d given up on me/us and that I was too accommodating financially and emotionally.

    One of the reasons I loved her is that she was not a ‘typical’ woman, she was quite logical. It turns out she is like a typical woman. Literally three weeks before I popped the question, and with no warning she came out with ‘do we need counselling?’ then over the next couple of weeks mentioned the baby issue – obviously expecting a flat ‘no’ so that she could break up with me but I said ‘yes’, then came ‘I need to be on my own because I’ve become selfish and lazy’, then came ‘we need to break up because I’m not sure I want to be with you anymore’ then ‘someone asked me out recently and I found myself thinking that if I was single, I might have said yes’ and eventually ‘I don’t want to be intimate with you anymore’, whilst also saying she was ‘hopeful’ we could resolve things.

    Within a few days of breaking up, she was dating a new guy and has posted images of them snogging on social media, updated her profile pics to be one or her and him etc. I know him. Everyone in my community knows him. He is a meretricious, serial sexual predator, known for targeting ‘vulnerable’ women, usually going for those in long-term relationships.

    I should have kicked her out and stopped communicating. Problem is I was really worried about her because she categorically stated that I owe her money (I don’t) that she does not owe me money (she does), has not betrayed me, was not dishonest, had told no lies, was not obfuscatory and had not drip-fed me information, that the new guy was not the cause, and saying she didn’t want to ‘string me along’ yet doing everything to make that a certainty.

    When I met her she was mentally ill. I encouraged her to come off her medication and it worked. She has displayed no signs of mental illness for 8 years. She is very confident (at least outwardly). She still tended to value herself according to her approval by others and works too hard to achieve this, often exhausting herself, especially true at the time of our break up.

    So, obviously I worried about her mental state and tried to explain a few things by letter including pointing out that although I didn’t condemn her for it, she had lied etc. but she responded with ‘I haven’t, I would never’. My worry meant I stopped sleeping and wrote too much/too often and some of my own writing became confused because of her self-contradiction. Then she started saying I should be ashamed, that I was ‘abusive’ and threatened to call the police. Her family say she is not mentally ill. I think I believe them, although I know her better than her family and she is definitely not right in the head and is presumably not being honest with them either. Anyway, I stopped writing in case I had gone mad myself and was being abusive.

    Now 6 months on, I decided it was time to re-read our messages. I am confident that they are not abusive. I have shown them to friends, who agree with me. Occasionally confused (due to her self-contradictory, out-of-character behaviour), sometimes critical but always tempered with understanding and a possible explanation etc.

    I still worry about her (I know I shouldn’t). I am getting on with my life OK, made changes, enjoying my freedom etc. Although logically I see I’ve had a lucky/close escape, I still love her and I want her back (if she can accept what she did ‘wrong’). I know the way to do this is to carry on as I am, hope that she ‘wakes up’ or her friends suss out the other guy, or his history catches up with him but I don’t have time (she might get pregnant by him, I don’t want teenage kids when I’m over 65!).

    Most of all though, I don’t want to stand for this outcome where she re-directed her failings to me and has designated me as the offender and the one who has been out of order in their behaviour.

    So. Do I write again or not? If I do write – how can I balance my need to re-iterate that she has lied etc and I have no reason to be ashamed and that she is the one who should be ashamed whilst also trying to make it ‘attractive’. That seems like an impossible task. Do I write something nice, funny, flirty to re-stablish contact and hope that we can address the ‘conflict’ eventually? Or do I approach her family or a friend and just say why I am worried about her? Or do you have some other, better idea?

    Any thoughts gratefully received. All the best.

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

SUGGESTED ARTICLES

PHONE COACHING, EMAIL COACHING & PRODUCTS

1 Hour Phone/Skype Coaching Session

with Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-phone-300x200
This is for a one (1) hour phone/Skype (audio only) coaching session with Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne.

Emergency Email Response Coaching

with Coach Corey Wayne

DISCONTINUED

This is for one (1) emergency email response from Life & Peak Performance Coach Corey Wayne to one (1) email of yours.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Highly Recommended
coachingcta-amazon-300x200
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.

Self-Help Products, Books, Supplements, Etc.

Recommended by Coach Corey Wayne
coachingcta-amazon-landscape
Click the button above to visit my Amazon.com list of recommended self-help products such as books, supplements, appliances, tools, etc.
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
How To Support My Work
This is a member supported site. You tip your favorite bartender, right? How about a buck, $2, $3, $5, maybe $10? Whatever YOU feel its worth, every time you feel I have given you a good tip, new knowledge or helpful insight. Please feel free to donate any amount you think is equal to the value you received from my eBook & Home Study Course (audio lessons), articles, emails, videos, newsletters, etc.
DONATE VIA PAYPAL
Just click the "Donate" button above to enter your donation/gratuity. Thanks in advance for your support! From my heart to yours, Corey Wayne.
Share Page on Social Media:
FOLLOW
DONATE
PRODUCTS
SHARE
top