
How to use no contact to turn her on & attract her back after chasing her away.
In this video coaching newsletter I discuss two different emails from two different viewers. The 1st email is from a guy who had a nasty breakup with his ex about three months ago because he was drinking and doing drugs and not being a good boyfriend, teammate or partner. He initially begged and pleaded with her to take him back to no avail. Then he went no contact for two months, got clean and back in shape, and eventually she showed up at his house unannounced after she texted him a typical lame female pickup line. They slept together again. However, since then she will call and text saying she wants to see him, but forces herself to stay away on purpose. He is unsure of what to do and wonders why she is acting this way.
The 2nd email is short success story from a guy who was suicidal and his marriage was on the rocks until he found my work and is now excited about living and keeping his family together. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of their emails.
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This particular email, I got two different emails I’m going to go through. The first guy, he had a nasty breakup with his ex about three months ago. He said he was drinking, he was doing drugs, he wasn’t being a good boyfriend, teammate or partner. He said he initially begged and pleaded with her to take him back, but she wasn’t having it. Then he went in no contact because he recognized like, “I’m getting nowhere.” A deal is not possible. Sex and romance is no longer possible with her based on where she’s at. So you walk away and you never look back. So he did just that. He went into no contact for about two months.
He says he got clean and sober. He got back in shape. Then eventually she reached out with a real lame typical girl text. He made a date. They hung out, had fun, hooked up. She continues to reach out since then, but she says she won’t come and see him in person because she’s staying away on purpose, because she doesn’t trust herself. So he’s like, “Why is she acting this way? Why does she just come over? She’s reaching out.”
The second email is a success story from a guy, he says he was suicidal and his marriage was on the rocks. He started watching my videos, started reading the book, some light bulbs went off and now he’s totally excited about living and keeping his family together. So it’s a great little success story or a success story in progress.

First Viewer’s Email:
Hi Corey,
My ex and I had a nasty breakup three months ago in large part because I was not in my masculine, was drinking and using drugs and overall was a piece of crap. My ex finally left me, I did all the wrong things, begging and acting needy. We entered no contact which lasted two months.
In our time apart, I worked on myself and got clean, I was almost over her, I read your book two times, I’m working on the third (I realize I’m not a 3% man yet ha,ha,ha). I got in shape, got a new job and was feeling good about myself.
At about two months in, she texts me, “Hi.”
Such a great pickup line. Girls can just get away with, “Heyyy.” This time it’s, “Hi.”
We had a good chat and then that night she showed up at my house unannounced.
Oh, I wonder what she could be wanting.
We slept together and had an amazing weekend.
Well as I discussed in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, your job is just to create an opportunity for sex to happen. If she pushed you away and dumped you and this guy continued to pursue and continued to chase and want another chance, she’s like, “Nope, not having it.” The only thing you say is, “Well, if you ever change your mind, get in touch,” and you just walk away and you never look back.
She has to do all the calling, texting and pursuing and you just use her reaching out to you as an opportunity to set the next date. So there’s a little bit of a wrinkle in this though, because she’s reaching out, but she keeps coming up with excuses to make dates. So it’s like she’s pursuing you, but like, what’s going on now?
However, she was drunk at the time and now when she is sober she will text me but doesn’t want to meet up or hang out. She says she loves me and sends me photos and obviously wants to sleep with me again but is not allowing herself to do that.
Well, I would just say, “When you’re ready to allow yourself to be a naughty girl and come see daddy again, then reach out.”
How do I get her to want me again and let down her guard?
As 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back says, he’s in a situation where they hooked up. She’s reaching out, but she won’t set a date. More than likely, there’s probably another dude in the background. That’s typically what’s going on. There’s some other dude that’s got her attention, and so she’s stirring the pot with him. She knows she could probably get back together with her ex-boyfriend, but she’s not sure because Chad Thundercock may be doing a good job.

So when you have that situation where she’s reaching out and you try to set a date and she won’t come over because she’s purposely staying away, like I said, if she tells you that, “Oh, I’m purposely staying away,” then say, “Well, great. When you miss me terribly, get in touch and we’ll see each other then.” As she continues reaching out, which she probably will then, you’re only going to ask out two consecutive times in a row when she reaches.
So in this case, she reached out, he tried to set a date and she says no on purpose. “I really want to see you and sleep with you, but I’m staying away on purpose.” I was like, “OK well, when you’re tired of that, let me know.” Then she reaches out. “The next time you miss me, you’ve been thinking about me, you’ve been having those impure thoughts again,” try to set a date. If she gives you this, “Oh, I just want to see how you were. I really want to see you, but I’m staying away on purpose.” “All right, well, call me when you just can’t stay away anymore.”
At that point, since you’ve told her, you’ve asked twice on two separate consecutive occasions, you will never, ever ask her again to get together unless she brings it up first. From that point forward, when she calls, maybe talk to her for two or three minutes and say, “Hey, it was great hearing from you. I got to run. I’ll talk to you later,” or, “Hey, it was great hearing from you. I got to run. Keep in touch.” If it’s text, same kind of thing. Send two or three texts back and forth and say, “Hey, I got to run,” or, “I’m stepping into a meeting. I’ll talk to you later,” and just never mention getting together again.
Keep your conversation short but respectful, but don’t bring up getting together. At that point, one of two things will happen. She’ll either bring up getting together or she will disappear from your life forever. If there’s another guy in the picture, what happens is you back off and you stop asking her to get together. She’ll start testing the shit out of the other guy, and usually he’ll start flailing around and then start chasing and literally kind of drive her back into your arms is what typically will happen in those cases.
You have to let her come to you, but when you’ve asked twice and she still won’t make definite plans, you got to bottom line her actions and look at the fact that she won’t make plans with you. You assume the reason she won’t make plans is because she just doesn’t want to see you. Yet she’s not missing you yet enough. So you just got to let her be.
Her family and friends all still think of me as the old version of me, not the new me.
It doesn’t really matter. The only thing that matters is how she feels about you. Right now she doesn’t feel a strong enough attraction because it sounds like you spent the whole weekend together or whatever, but she’s been unwilling to come back since then. So you just got to got to let her be.
Again, according to the email, he asked her to get together one time. So I would say the next time she reaches out, you’re going to try to make a date with her. If she still won’t make definite plans with you, then you’ll never bring it up again unless she brings it up first.

I love her deeply and don’t want to lose her…
Bro, you already lost her. You’ve been dumped. It is what it is. You’ve got to assume that it’s over and you may or may not ever see her again in person. It’s possible she rides off into the sunset with Chad Thundercock. The bottom line is that she’s unwilling to make plans to see you at least the last time that she talked to you. So again, you give her one more chance when she reaches out, and then if she still won’t make plans, then just stop asking until she brings it up. If she doesn’t bring it up, eventually she’ll just disappear and stop reaching out altogether.
…But also don’t want to hurt myself by believing in something that may never be. I am a good looking dude who can get other women should I choose.
Bob
At the end of the day, you just got to play it right again. You should just strictly follow what’s in 7 Principles To Get An Ex Back, the article and video that’s on my website. You can just Google it or DuckDuckGo it.
Second Viewer’s Email:
Hi Coach,
I’m a 34-year-old male from Scotland. I found your name on Reddit on someone’s comment on a post on the dead bedroom’s page. I’ve been contemplating suicide for a while as my work life and marriage are in tatters. I’m trying to get a new job but it’s a family business where I’ve worked my whole life and the money is too so to get a same paid job isn’t the easiest to get.
Well, I would highly recommend that you read my second book, Mastering Yourself, and I would also look up the video that I did How To Get Any Job You Want and follow that. It’s also detailed in three, or I should say, it’s also detailed in Mastering Yourself. So I would implement those things to help give yourself more choices, more options when it comes to getting a new job. It sounds like he’s lost his job as well, or maybe he’s working at a family business and he just doesn’t want to be there anymore, but just follow what is in Mastering Yourself on how to get any job you want.
Lately my confidence and anxiety has gotten the better of me and I’ve added more stress to my wife acting needy, always needing reassurance etc, then I wondered why our sex life was non existent!
Yeah, she didn’t feel safe with you. She didn’t feel safe and comfortable. It’s like you were kind of treating her like your mommy instead of being her rock, her mountain and her teammate, her dependable, masculine man that she could always depend on. You started flailing around basically, and no longer being the leader and your relationship, so obviously she lost attraction.

If you don’t feel successful in your marriage or making your wife happy or having her want to sleep with you more, then quite frankly, you want to sleep with her. Then typically that’s going to create a problem that when you’re more into her than she is into you, she’s not going to want it. If you’re not making her feel safe, if you’re flailing around and not following your mission and your purpose, you’re no longer being the guy that she fell in love with. That’s why if a woman doesn’t feel heard and understood, she doesn’t feel safe and comfortable, and you stop dating and courting her properly, the legs are going to close.
I found you and watched a few of your videos on YouTube and then proceeded to download your 3% Man on the kindle app (Bare in mind I haven’t sat down and read a book since I was forced to at school!)
Well, you have a very emotionally compelling reason why you want to turn your life around. Number one, your wife and obviously your child.
I went to bed suicidal and was woken up by my son wanting his bed sheets sorted out at 3 a.m. That was me awake so I started watching you and I listened. You’ve saved my life and now if I read and follow your words my marriage: I can’t thank you enough!
Cheers Coach
Bob
Well, the two biggest things that guys do in your situation is the woman doesn’t feel heard and understood, and the courtship usually stops, guys have lost their job or whatever, they stop going out on dates and they stop having fun together. You go to a picnic, go to a park, go do something that is really cheap and really inexpensive to do. The key is that you just go and spend time together having fun.
Women want to be in a love story. When a guy goes through a difficult time, usually the love story goes out the window because he’s focused on money, or he’s focused on a new job, or he’s focused on his problems. He doesn’t make her feel heard and understood. He stops dating and courting her, and then the woman feels like he doesn’t give a shit anymore. He doesn’t care and the only time he seems to care is when he wants sex. If he wants sex when she’s not ready, willing, able and open to it because she’s totally shut down to him, then obviously when he tries to seduce her, that’s not going to go very well.
There are things you have to do with women. Whatever you do to get them is what you got to do to keep them. In this case, you got always got to date and court her so the love story always continues. It’s an ongoing thing. You got to make her feel heard and understood. If you’ve lost your job when you’re not taking care of family business or working out or taking care of things, you got to be out looking for a job. You got to be handling things because that will turn her on and get her excited. Even though you’ve lost your job, you’re out there getting after it. You’re trying to make things happen.
Congratulations on your success! I’m glad that you decided to stick around because quite frankly, your son needs to see his dad grow up and kick ass. There’s nobody else that’s going to be a better example to your son than you. He needs you. He needs you to reach your full potential. You can read Mastering Yourself for free on my website and do the things you need to do to turn your life around.
So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.
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