No Contact To Marriage Success Story

How to use no contact to get out of friend zone and back into a romantic relationship after a breakup.

In this video coaching newsletter I discuss an email success story from a viewer who got dumped back in 2016 by his high school sweetheart due to his needy and jealous behavior after two years of dating. She kept him in friend zone for about two years after that and tried keeping him there. He shares how he successfully employed no contact to get out of friend zone.

They have been back together for six years and married for two. They never argue. He went from chasing her out of his life, being stuck in friend zone for two years to a successful and happy marriage. My comments are in bold italics like this below in the body of his email.

This is a success story from a guy that goes all the way back into 2016. In 2016, he got dumped by his high school sweetheart, who he had been dating since 2014 after two years. He said he acted really needy and got really jealous. So she dumped him. Then he was stuck in friend zone for about two years. Then he tried to get out of friend zone, acquiesced a couple times, went back on his word and he stayed stuck there.

He finally stuck to the things that I taught and his high school sweetheart came back. It’s just a really cool story. The problem that most guys have is that they get into a relationship with a girl they really like and who likes them, but just through ignorance, because this stuff, they don’t teach it in school. Most people’s families and parents, moms and dads don’t know this stuff and can’t teach it.

So a guy gets in the real world and he gets with a woman he really likes. In this case, he acted needy and unworthy, like he didn’t deserve to be there. Plus, he was jealous of her constantly and getting upset and accusatory. Eventually, she just got tired of it. A lot of the issues was him and his unattractive behavior. So he came across my work, implemented was in the book and she came back. They’ve now been together for six years total, and they’ve been married for two.

I know a lot of guys are first coming to me because they’re in a similar situation. They were dating a really good girl, and they just screwed up because they didn’t know any better. They get friend-zoned and they’re like, “How do I get friend-zoned? I’ve been friend-zoned by my high school girlfriend,” high school sweetheart, college sweetheart, wife, ex-wife, girlfriend or whoever happens to be.

Guys are trying to figure out, “How do I get out of it? What do I do?” As I often say, you don’t get what you deserve in life. You only get what you negotiate. So this is a great short email success story. Plus it’s been going on. I mean, they’ve been back together for six years. What’s cool is he’s known her most of his life as well because they were kids together and then started dating in high school. So it’s not like this is some girl he met and dated for a few months and they went their separate ways. It’s like they’ve literally known each other most of their lives.

Viewer’s Email:

Hey Coach,

Just want to share my success story with you, as your teachings have truly changed the trajectory of my life.

Me and my former ex started dating back in high school in 2014 for two years. We were childhood friends, so we’ve known each other for a very long time. The relationship ended after I started displaying all the typical needy, jealous characteristics that ultimately pushed her away over time.

This is what most guys do that are in this situation and get friend-zoned.

I decided to stay friends with her (big mistake) for the next two years, trying my best to be there for her in hopes of getting back together. I came across your teachings and actually gave her the “ex back” speech not once but TWICE as I went back on it the first time, LOL. 

Yeah, that’s what typically happens. The guy says, “Hey, I don’t want to hear from you again unless you’re interested in sex and romance. If not, you need to let me go so I can move on.”

What happens oftentimes is after a few weeks or a month or whatever of no contact, the girl comes back and says, “Oh, let’s go to lunch. Let’s do a group date. Hey, let’s meet all of our friends out.” Then the guys agree, “Oh, let’s go to coffee. Let’s meet in a neutral location.” So the guys agree to that, and then nothing changes. What they don’t realize is the things that they’re agreeing to do with this girl, they’re agreeing to do platonic things. So their actions communicate that they’re OK being stuck in friend zone. So that’s where they stay. The strongest negotiating position is being able to walk away and mean it.

In this particular case, he did the first time, but he didn’t really mean it. So he caved. That’s why he stayed stuck in friend zone. The only way you’re going to own a woman’s heart is that she has to know that if she pushes you too far, you’ll walk and never look back. Meaning never. That’s it. It’s over forever. You’re not coming back unless she does something about it. If she doesn’t, then you’ll never speak again as long as you live. Simple as that. She’ll never get another chance. You’ll never talk. You’ll move on, because you have gotten to the point where you’re just tired of the behavior.

After the second time, we finally went our separate ways and I improved myself in every way.

So what was going on, basically, is that she kept hanging out and interacting, and he finally just said, “I’m not doing any of that. I’m not interested in being your pal.” He had two whole years with being stuck in friend zone. So he had two years together romantically, two years being stuck in friend zone, and just did a lot of things to cement her image and view of him. So he has to go away and create a new version of himself and implement what’s in the book, so if she does come back, it’s a completely different dude that acts masculine and attractive all the time.

New job, won a national kickboxing championship title, bigger social life, and was getting a lot more attention from women. Turned into a completely new confident man. 

Yeah, because you had successful repetitions. Confidence comes from competence. So he became very competent.

Nine months has passed, and my ex started to come around during family holidays as she was still close with my family and started trying to talk to me a bit, just saying little things like (Hey, I like your new beard, how are you, etc.) So one day I took her aside and asked if she wanted to go out or if she’s just being friendly, and she said, “I just want to be friends,” and I told her I’m not going back on what I said before, and said it was good to see her and went about my day. 

So you notice how it gets that clarity, because she’s coming back into his life, hanging out with his family. He’s like, “Do you want to go on a date or you just want to be friends?” “I just want to be friends.” Once again, she’s trying a completely different approach to see if he’s still a bitch and he’ll still stay stuck in friend zone. He’s like, “No, I’m not interested.”

A few days passed after that and she sends a text asking to talk on the phone, and she nervously asked me out on a date telling me she wants to try again. Had dinner over my place and went on many more dates with her constantly texting me and doing 95% of the pursuing, and after a month or two she asked the question, “So, what are we?” 

We have now been together for six years, and married for two. In those six years, we have never argued. She’s still pursuing me and calling me everyday while I’m at work, she wants sex more than I do, and our relationship honestly has been the complete opposite of what it was all those years back.

I have an awesome marriage all thanks to your teachings Coach.

Bob

Isn’t that great? Doesn’t everybody love a happy ending? After all, this is Friday, the end of the week. What a great day to have a happy ending. Where they’re, at least at this point for the last six years, living happily ever after.

So for those of you guys that want to stay with one woman forever, this guy has spent eight years of his life with her and known her pretty much his whole life. You know what’s interesting? I saw an interview, I think it was like a short reel on Twitter somewhere. This guy was interviewing an older man, and this guy was, I think he was in his late 70s or his 80s. He was asking him about like the secret to life. He started talking about his wife. He says, “We were married for 51 years, and I miss her every day,” because she had passed away. He says, “We never argued. We got along great. We always had fun together.” 51 years of marriage, never arguing even once.

Life is hard enough. If you got a girl that’s constantly argumentative and a pain in the ass about everything, no matter how humorous, funny and playful you are, eventually you’re going to get sick of it. You’re going to get sick of the shitty attitude and the fact that she’s unwilling to do anything about it, and she constantly brings her bad attitude to you and makes your life hard instead of making your dick hard. Eventually, you’re just going to lose interest in being around her. You’re going to lose interest in having sex with her because she’s just a bitch. She’s a nag. She complains all the time. She’s unhappy. She’s always, you know, “Tweaking my balls, trying to emasculate me, trying to make me look bad, just being difficult to be around, causing a scene in front of other people.”

If the other person is unwilling to be nice to you, it’s not worth it, man. What was so beautiful about this old guy, his story, 51 years, he’s like, “We never fought. We never argued. We got along great. We had so much fun together. I miss her every day. I’m existing until my life is over and I can be with my wife again.” That’s beautiful and that’s sweet. People like that should write books, but he obviously made a good choice. He met a girl who was easy going, easy to get along with instead of being a difficult pain in the ass, because life’s hard enough.

If you got a woman that’s just in a bad mood or not having a good day, or she’s just not a happy person, she’s going to make you miserable as well. So I think it’s great. Thanks for sharing the success story. You got to be with somebody that’s easy going, easy to get along with, because life is too short, man. It’s just too short.

So, if you’ve got a question or a challenge and you’d like to get my help, go to UnderstandingRelationships.com, click the Products tab at the top of your screen and book a coaching session with yours truly. Until next time, I will talk to you soon.