Why no defeat is final, and why you should look at rejection and failure as simply a part of being successful in your personal and professional life.
In this video coaching newsletter, I discuss an email success story from a guy who has read my book eighteen times. He’s Indian, thirty and a successful software engineer. He details his journey of not being able to get past the first date with women he really liked to living a life of abundance, where he is now the one rejecting women who don’t live up to his standards. He also shares how he has become a more effective leader at work and creating rapport with women, so he can influence them to achieve their shared outcomes and goals, while endearing himself to them as their “favorite” guy at work.
It’s a great email that illustrates the positive attitude shift and good tidings that come into your personal and professional life when you read my book 10-15 times, and apply it relentlessly to all areas of your life that are important to you. My comments are in (bold parenthesis like this below) in the body of his email.
Hello Coach Corey Wayne,
I’d like to start off with a salute to you for your great work by helping people to reach their core potential.
(Thank you. I appreciate the kind words. It is my purpose. I don’t like seeing people suffering, especially with things I’ve overcome. It’s only once you’ve achieved something in life, you can turn around and help people who maybe aren’t as far along on the path as you are.)
I’m 30 years old, Indian and a Software Technical Lead with Charles Schwab in Austin, Texas. I started dating in the summer of 2016 and met so many beautiful girls, but the dates could not go beyond 3-4 meets, as I had no clue how attraction works, and most of the time I was needy bitch, even though girls used to say I’m smart, charming and educated. One girl even told me that she really liked me but I came on so strong and she got scared.
(Like Thich Nhat Hanh says, “You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” When you overpursue and you try to force things, you scare women. The only guys that are trying to force things with women are guys who don’t know what they’re doing.)
In winter of 2016, I met a blonde 39 years old who knocked my socks off. We dated for about 3 months, we had an amazing connection, but she was on rebound, therefore her emotions were very raw and she kept telling me she’s not there yet, as I was talking about getting her down to relationship.
(That never ends well.)
Eventually, we parted our ways, and it wasn’t easy. Then in March 2017, I came across your work, and it changed my thinking completely.
(Like Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”)
I started watching your videos and realized where I was going wrong in past. I started applying your stuff on the dates and observed this stuff really works. If you’re an open book, which I used to be, you ain’t got a chance. I was cherry picking from the videos, was getting better as a person, applying things on the dates, going for the kiss, etc., but still my guts said I was doing a few things wrong, because girls were really into me on the first date and never wanted to go out again.
Then, I picked up your book and read 18 times in the last 3.5 months.
(That’s somebody that’s a serious student. That’s somebody that decided, I’m going to do this. This is what a high achiever does. The average guy who has been following me for 2-3 years, yet has only read the book once, wonders why he’s still struggling. You’ve got to learn the book backwards and forwards, so you don’t have to think about it.
If you know 70% of what you need to know, you’re going to be able to get women to about 7 on the attraction scale, and that’s going to be about it. The idea is to fill in what your knowledge gap is. When you fill it out and get closer to that 100%, then you’re going to be able to get women to fall in love with you and keep them in love. You’ll be able to read their body language, their physiology, the things they do, the things they say and be able to self-diagnose to tell where you are and how she really feels about you.)
I think I can give seminars on your stuff, and I refer your work to my friends and whoever is in need.
(I appreciate your referrals. That is the highest compliment you can give me, to refer your friends and family to my YouTube channel, my book and my website. Thank you very much.)
When I go on dates now, since following your work, girls tell me I’m different, unique, very calm and confident.
(What is confidence? Confidence is doing what you know how to do, and you doing it really well. This is what happens when you read the book 18 times. You know it backwards and forwards.)
Most of the time, I’m rejecting girls, although they’re into me, because I don’t want to settle for less. There have been times some girls were totally into me, and we hooked up on the first date. I believe I’m doing good work in understanding how attraction works, however I’m going to keep practicing it, because repetition is the mother of skill. I do follow your approach to go for the kiss, the HHH concept.
(Hang out, have fun and hook up.)
When I go on dates, I don’t have to think much, because everything comes so naturally after understanding your book’s fundamentals.
(If you haven’t read the book 15 times, here’s another person confirming he knows what to do because he read it 18 times. He doesn’t have to think about it anymore. You’ve got to take personal responsibility for your life, your happiness and your success, because nobody’s going to do it for you.)
I’m still waiting for the beautiful girl to fall in love with. Some girls have even asked me, “how can I be so different at the age of 30.” I sometimes tell them, “Everyone should follow Corey Wayne.”
Going on so many dates and not getting the kind of girl you want is sometimes frustrating, but I’m learning to have infinite patience and I’m getting better. “No defeat is final until you stop Trying.”
(Everybody you encounter is helping to prepare you and get you ready for that great girl. It doesn’t mean that’s going to be the only person you’re going to be with for the rest of your life. Take it day by day. See what happens next. “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be,” as Lao Tzu said.)
Your work has helped me in my work too, as I’m in Software Development and lead a team of 5 junior girls. I apply this stuff to understand what they say, as women are emotional creatures and it does WORK. I work with a lot of senior women managers, and they have told me, how can I be so different, happy all the time, and some of them even tell me I’m their favorite.
(As Zan Perrion said, “A man that loves women is loved by women.” It’s never a bad thing when women perceive you as being an ally, someone they like and somebody that’s their favorite. There’s no downside to that.)
I was leading a project, and the deadline was July 20, 2017. A month before the project delivery, the project starting falling down, and everyone thought we couldn’t deliver it on time. I believed in myself, I lead everyone from the front, I followed your words, was able to deliver the project on time, everyone applauded me for my optimistic behavior, and they were thrilled how it happened. I said, “Thanks to Corey Wayne” in my head.
It’s just the beginning, and I know I’m going to keep practicing it always. Recently, I started to improve my day game by approaching girls, and I’m becoming so confident in approaching them, starting conversations and getting their numbers. Some girls tell me, “You’re courageous to approach during the day. Usually guys approach in bars after getting drunk.”
(Look how you’re setting yourself apart. You’re doing something that most guys are terrified to do.)
I’ve been following a healthy diet since 2015, and I’m trying to be in decent shape by 3-4 days working out in a week. Attached are my few pictures.
(You look sharp. You’re doing the right things.)
(That is a must read. Every human being should be learning that in kindergarten),
“The Way of the Superior Man,” by David Deida and “The Business of the 21st Century.” I want to try my hands at networking business, as well as becoming an entrepreneur. I feel I’m very DIFFERENT now.
My apologies for the very long email. SALUTE to you!
Thank you so much!
(This is a great success story of how a guy has integrated what he’s learned in my book into his personal life, his dating life, and also in getting women to do the things he wants in business. This makes him a great leader. Now he’s achieved a great outcome at work, and that’s how you get promotions.
If you work for other people, the employer wants low maintenance, self motivated, driven people that just make them look good. He’s making all of his superiors look good, because he’s exceeding everyone’s expectations, and that’s how you get noticed. That’s how head hunters start calling you and asking you to come work for other companies with a 20-40% increase in pay.
The more abundant you are, and the more choices you have, the quicker you’re going to achieve your outcomes, and the happier you’re going to be.)
If you have a question you would like me to consider answering in a future Video Coaching Newsletter, you can send it (3-4 paragraphs/500 words max) to this email address: Questions@UnderstandingRelationships.com
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From my heart to yours,
Author, Speaker, Peak Performance Coach, Entrepreneur
“People who feel like they can’t get what they want in life tend to be angry and frustrated. When they can’t get what they want, they tend to look for people or circumstances they can blame to absolve themselves from any personal guilt, or responsibility for their failures and lack of success. Superior people take personal responsibility for their personal growth, successes, failures and circumstances. Self-reliant people see success as simply the result of infinite patience, sustained self-discipline, personal growth, honing their gifts, skills and talents, constant learning and improvement, and perpetual focus on achieving their outcomes. Success therefore, is simply a matter of time and continuous effort.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
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